fun thing about getting older as a dedicated lifelong non-athlete: i'm as fast and limber as I've ever been! which is not very. technically I'm in the best shape of my life. that is to say, middling
actually going from deeply-unwell-teenager to reasonably-functional-adult has inured me to the Common Laments of Aging:
"I can't run as fast as I used to" running is sweaty & gross hard pass
"i miss having stamina" you had STAMINA???
"ugh back pain" my inner teenager-with-scoliosis-and-mysterious-bone-pain is unphased
"ugh neck pain" do most people not spend the majority of their lifecycle hunched over screens from puberty onwards? if not that's my bad
"I used to be able to pull all-nighters" chugging energy drinks and depriving your brain of sleep to perform miserable labor is fucked up actually, and shouldn't be normalizd in or outside of college. given half a chance corporations would have your 60-year-old aunt hopped up on caffeine pills retouching powerpoints at 4am. thank fuck we're not expected to be 21 forever
"I used to be so flexible" why
"my metabolism 😭" kill your inner fatphobe, enjoy the comfy extra padding/circulation, buy a cool new wardrobe, and go forth, eat well, and GIVE NARY A FUCK.
"I miss having young knees" that one's valid
In conclusion my personal fitness goals remain, as always: to be able to carry multiple grocery bags, and go for a nice little walk (not jog!) around the neighborhood.
Unrealistic. Never had young knees. I gained old knees after The Incident.
