F I G H T

Zechariah Cormac | 26 | Alpha | Sansoria | Weapons Trainer

[finnickpearson-blog]

He laughs when Zech immediately brushes by the younger boy to tend to the cut on Finn’s own finger, and the haughty look of disapproval at being passed over that only a twelve year old could muster. “I haven’t really gotten that far. He walked up while I was getting Jupiter settled in, you came right as I turned around.” He stands on his tip toes to gaze over Zech’s shoulder, a warm and kind smile on his face as the boy shifts his weight from foot to foot and gnaws on his bottom lip nervously. “I haven’t even seen him since he was born practically. If it weren’t for his scent I don’t know that I would have recognized him.”

Luca looks like he wants to say something, and there’s a pang when he realizes it’s the same expression he remembers on his oldest brother whenever he had done something he wasn’t supposed to be. The boy runs a hand through his hair, the same dusty brown color of Finnick’s own, before he finally gains the courage to speak. “Mom and dad, they wanted to arrange a marriage for me.” He blurts out, his face turning red. “They think it’s good for me to marry an alpha, since I’m only a beta I guess. But I don’t want to marry her, or any girl-for that matter.” 

[zechariahcormac]

He doesn’t know of the boys expression but figures he must not be all too happy about having been skipped over so easily. He hums as he turns back in the general direction of the boy, easing back to stand at Finn’s side, his fingers still clasped around his palm. At the mention of Jupiter he can’t help the sneer on his face just before teeth dig into his arm lightly, starting to grip tighter just as he yanks away. He steadies him when he leans over his shoulder to look at the boy, hands steady on his hips.

He hums softly as he holds Finn steady, letting him go when he shifts back down, stepping out of the way, or so he hopes. He clicks his tongue as he turns, pinpointing the boys position and fixing his gaze that way. The boy suddenly starts speaking out of no where, and he almost jumps a the break of the sudden silence, hand tightening on Finn’s before relaxing. The boy sounds shockingly like Finn, and he wonders if this is what he sounded like when he was younger, still so innocent and unknowing of how the world really is. He talks of arranged marriage and he holds back a sneer, instead shifting up straighter. “On that note, why don’t we move inside? Finn, while you stable that demon horse you love so much, I can get some tea going for...Luca, correct?”

[finnickpearson-blog]

He should have known something was off when Jupiter stamped the ground nervously and tried to take a bite out of his hand. The creature was incredibly perceptive and tended to feed off of the emotions of humans around him, and he never acted out around Finnick. Zech was out, still having not returned from setting up new guards in their posts, and the long shadow that was cast behind him bore little resemblance to the alpha’s own. 

His hand falls to the dagger poised on his hip, a gift from Zech after Finn had gotten into a small scrape near the border of the two kingdoms, and he takes a deep breath to steady himself. The voice in his head undoubtedly resembles that of his mate’s, reminding him that the key to victory in a fight is to start with a calm level headedness. 

He wheels around quickly and nearly stumbles backwards when the shadow finally has a face to put to it. “What are you doing here?” He gasps, wincing when he accidentally knicks his own finger with the dagger. He sees Zech stride up behind the figure, and he can’t help but chuckle at the difference in size before a quick smile takes over his face. “Zech, darling, I don’t believe you’ve met my youngest brother, Luca, who if I’m guessing correctly should be about 12 years old by now.” 

[zechariahcormac]

Guard rotation for the nights always fell to him to work out now, as he knew all who were properly trained for it better than any other trainer. It had been a long day at the castle, and he was just eager to get home as he made his way home, a hand out to trace over the stone wall that acted as the path border to keep his way straight. His tongue clicks in a steady beat, every three breaths bringing another click to give him a clear picture of his surroundings.

There’s an odd scent on the wind as he gets closer to his home, where his mate is undoubtedly already home from wherever he had gone. The scent is alien and familiar all at once, and his gut twists at the thought that it might have been one of the other Pearson brothers, come to harm their younger brother. He hurries his pace, sightless eyes boring ahead. He stops abruptly when the scent doubles, the soothing scent of his mate mixing with the strangers scent. His own twists with Finn’s, keeping him distinct, but the other is still worrying him. He keeps a hand on the grip of his sword as he approaches, ready to protect his mate.

He hears a gasp, and then smells the scent of blood, and he almost sprints forward, legs lengthening their stride. He brushes past another person, ignoring them for the moment as he catches Finn’s hand, fingers skimming over its surface until he finds the source of the blood, rumbling unhappily in his chest as he digs into his bag for a clean bandage he knows he keeps in there. He hears the word brother and his head shoots up, swinging to face in the general direction of the scent, even as he finds the bandages and proceeds to wipe off his finger and wrap it. “The youngest one? What is he doing here? Not that a visitor is unwelcome.”

[finnickpearson-blog]

“You have no idea how difficult it is.” He teases and bites down on his bottom lip before rubbing his nose gently against the flush on Zech’s cheeks. “To not kiss you every second, until I’ve swallowed all of your breath into my lungs. I come and watch you during training and it’s torture, watching you move so gracefully and with such power.” His chest is heaving at his own words, and now it’s his turn to blush deep scarlet. 

“When I was younger I stayed in the kings castle for about a month. My favorite part of the whole thing was the garden, it was massive and had these willow trees you could get lost in. Anyway,” He smiles broadly, tucking a lock of stray hair behind Zech’s ear, hoping that the alpha can feel the warmth in the memory. “He had these statues all over the garden, immaculate and carved from marble. You remind me of this one of Apollo that I used to sit underneath, I had every detail memorized. He was driving his chariot towards the sun, and he had this look on his face, like it was impossible that he could feel so strong and so light at the same time. All that is tangled up in you.” 

[zechariahcormac]

He hums at the nuzzle to his cheek, turning his head to nose at the wing of his cheekbone, content to simply listen to him speak in this moment. As he speaks he grows warm with pleasure at the heavy, adoring praise that falls from his lips, and he gives a warm chuckle, kissing his temple chastely, feeling the heave of his chest as he breaths, excited by his own words. “If you were to kiss me until I had no breath it would be a pleasure.”

He talks of the kings castle, and of the garden with the statues. He thinks for a moment before figuring out which garden that is, nodding as he speaks. He knows which one he talks of, though the description of he expression on its face is new. He hums softly as he claims parts of Apollo are tangled in him, huffing a noise into the quietness of their shared home. “If I am Apollo, then you must be the sun, as there is nothing more vibrant than it.” He gives a small grin, hands idly drifting over his sides as he relaxes against him; content to be and needing nothing more than this simple comfort.

[finnickpearson-blog]

He giggles again, and wriggles under the large hands that have him pinned gently to the bed. He doesn’t miss the way that he could escape if he wanted to, how the touch keeps him grounded rather than trapped in place. It’s all warmth and gorgeous sensation and he wouldn’t mind just basking in it for the rest of his life. “Are you trying to do me in early?” He teases and cranes his neck back, allowing the alpha better access to the bristling hairs he has yet to shave. 

“You should see what that week old stubble does to your skin, then you might not like it as much.” He laughs when Zech mentions it, his mouth presently occupied with scraping his teeth deliciously along Finn’s own jawbone.  His voice turns to purring, and he dips his head until he can steal a kiss. “Good thing a little angry skin doesn’t stop you from being the most beautiful alpha in all of Aurelia and Sansoria. I don’t think I’ve told you enough how completely gorgeous you are, now that I mention it. Let me make it up to you.” He grins and kisses him again, slowly and with determination, a solid weight against the alpha’s chest. 

[zechariahcormac]

As he wriggle he hums, nipping his jaw gently as a way to calm him a bit. He keeps his grip firm but light enough to allow him to escape if he so chose to, but he hopes he doesn’t want to. He asks if he’s trying to do him in and he gives a low chuckle, simply pressing a kiss to his jaw before slipping down to his pulse to suck a mark over it, tongue laving over the skin. His sadness has faded entirely now in the wake of his omegas comfort, letting him release a small bit of the hurt in his soul.

He hums softly when he talks of what it does, and he rumbles softly, rubbing his own stubbly chin against his shoulder, having not shaved for a few days. He knows exactly what it does, and he hums. :Oh, I know what it does. I still enjoy it.” He dips to steal a kiss and he pushes eagerly up into it, securing his lips over his, gently sucking on his bottom lip. The purr his voice dips to has him humming in interest, listening to him talk about how gorgeous he is, and he blushes slightly. He says he wants to make up for it, and then lips are meeting his again, and he can’t say he doesn’t enjoy this makeup. He kisses back with no small amount of hunger, but a carefully controlled hunger. “If this is what it warrants me, by all means.”

[finnickpearson-blog]

“I’m not stopping you.” He laughs and can’t help the shiver that shakes through him at the feeling of soft lips at the base of his neck. “Though I am pretty happy with how your mouth is presently occupied.” He curls upward with the feeling of hands on his bare skin, it feels like an electric current is running through his veins rather than blood. It makes him feel warm and alive and almost predatory. It’s a thrill. 

Fingers skate over the bumps of each of his ribs and he can’t stop the whine that escapes his lips, a needy and soft sound. “You make my heart beat so quickly, so fiercely, that I’m shocked you can’t feel it attempting to escape right through my chest. Especially when your lips are on me like this.” He presses his fingertips into Zech’s shoulders in response, rather than move the alpha’s hands up to his mouth so he could see the smile pulling at his lips. “Beautiful beam of light that you are.” 

[zechariahcormac]

He feels the shivers run through Finn and he rumbles softly, nuzzling the base of his throat, running his nose over his Adams apple. When he curls up at the touch of his hands he presses him back down firmly, thumbs rubbing over the wing of his hipbones as he croons to him, pressing a kiss to the thumping pulse in his neck. “Are you? Do you enjoy having my mouth here?” He emphasizes here with another kiss to his throat, teeth scraping gently after it.

The whine he gets for his efforts has him growing warm with something curling in his belly. The pure neediness in that whine has him burning to give the omega anything he wants, anything he needs in that moment. He talks of his heart beat on he settles onto him more, feeling the beating of Finn’s heart against his own chest, how quick with emotion it is. He gives a warm, soft growl, scraping his teeth over his jaw before sucking a soft mark into the point of it. “I love how soft you are in my arms, how good the roughness of your week old stubble feels against my own skin when you finally return to me. I love it all.”

[finnickpearson-blog]

“I know, I know. I feel like you are your own special brand of stubborn though. I like it, it’s incredibly attractive.” He smiles against Zech’s shoulder, biting gently at the skin there. “That, and the way your collarbone dips here,” He drags his mouth across the broad expanse of chest until he reaches the dip, where he takes his time lazily kissing the area. “And the perfect bow of your top lip.” He grins again, kissing just the top part gently. 

He wrapped his arms all the way around Zech’s back, pulling him all the way down until he was relaxed and draped over Finn’s chest. “I could go on you know. The way your hands feel wrapped around my hip when you feel possessive, the way you flick your tongue over your canines when you’re thinking.” 

[zechariahcormac]

He talks about his stubbornness being attractive and a grin tugs at the corners of his mouth, his sadness ebbing back in the face of his omegas comfort. The bite to his shoulder is a soothing point of focus, and he closes his sightless eyes to focus on the sensations, idly listening to his words as that soft mouth drags over his skin; breath coming deeper now, a rumble building in his chest. The kiss to his tops lip has him rumbling low in his throat, a gentle growl bubbling out as he chases the sensation of his omegas lips, landing a firm kiss to the corner of his mouth.

He sinks into Finn’s embrace with a grateful sigh, settling himself over him, ear pressed to his sternum. His heart beats gently beneath his ear, and it lulls him into a calmer state, making him hum warmly. He talks of how his hands on his hips feel, so he lifts them slowly, tracing down his side, nails dragging lightly as he goes, until he’s cupping his hips, fingers pressing gently into his back as he tilts his head up, pressing a wet kiss to his collarbone. He hums softly, murmuring after each kiss. “I could wax poetic about how you feel in my arms, how your heart beats so steadily, how each and every callous on you is a rough and welcome reminder of how hard you work.”

[finnickpearson-blog]

“No, never. You’ve been nothing but kind to me. The hurt is mostly dull now, particularly since I’ve met you. I used to think that alphas were only capable of dealing out hurt without any thought to others, but you-you’re not like that. You have always been concerned for my feelings and my safety, a luxury I had never been afforded up until now.” He smiles as he speaks, a light chuckle escaping his lips when Zech tries to wrap himself around Finn’s smaller frame. 

“I didn’t mean to take away from the pain that you were feeling either, I want you to know that. I just wanted to be as truthful with you as you have been with me.” He speaks quietly, but there is no fear wrapping itself around his bones anymore. “I am more worried about you holding all of that hurt inside for so long, I know how much that it could hurt you. It will slowly start to kill you, cause you so much pain. Just-don’t ever feel like you can’t tell me anything okay? Even if you think I don’t want to hear it or it will hurt me, I want to hear it.” 

[zechariahcormac]

He’s filled with overwhelming relief to hear that he hadn’t caused any hurt for his omega, hadn’t triggered anything to make it worse. He listen to him attentively, nuzzling his hair softly. He speaks of safety being a luxury and he lets out a huff against his hair. “I only want you to feel safe with me.” He manages to curl around him as best he can, arms securing around his waist.

He talks about not wanting to diminish his pain and he sighs softly, kissing his shoulder gently. “I know, my love.” He talks of being worried and he whines softly, squeezing him lightly. “I don’t mean to make you worry.” His next words are halting, and he has some difficulty getting them out. “In Aurelia, we are...raised to be the strong one, to never let our guards down...It’s something I’m still unlearning. Six ears hasn’t been enough.” He talks of telling him anything, and he nods, kissing his cheeks gently. “I will remember that, my love. Thank you.”

[finnickpearson-blog]

“Thank you for telling me.” He murmurs and gently pushes the tip of his nose up Zech’s jawbone, just breathing in and out, and in and out, slowly and carefully. He’s always been the one tossed around, not knowing his place or who he was, but he feels it right there in their small bedroom where he’s holding the person he loves together. He knows he’s found where he’s supposed to be. “You can tell me about him you know. I think it would be good for you, to talk about him. It would keep his memory alive.” He knows that his words aren’t important now, but he feels like he needs to keep saying them. Keep Zech from slipping into his own mind. 

“Zech, darling, love, since you told me this, I feel like I should tell you something. I don’t want to detract from your grief, but I want to be totally honest with you.” He says it quietly, his face pressed into Zech’s hair as he inhales. “On the night I was kicked out of my parent’s estate, I met this alpha in the woods, a female alpha. She tried to-force something between us. I managed to escape, but-um” He pauses and feels a shiver wrack his spine, and he bites down on his bottom lip. “She came back, and got, what she wanted.” 

[zechariahcormac]

The firm drag along his jaw calms him from the sobs that had built up again during his retelling of the loss of Cole. He rubs his face on the sheets covering the bed, smearing the tears into the fabric and drying his face roughly. He hadn’t let himself break down like this in so long; he had always been the one t be strong, to never falter under the weight of everything, and it was a relief to be able to let go for once, to let someone else bear the responsibility. He talks of retelling more about Cole and he shakes his head, pressing his face against his collarbone, murmuring into his skin. “Not tonight.” Later, he’d bring out the wedding rings he still kept, tell him the story behind his sword, and his few braille books.

He says he has to tell him something and he lifts his head slightly, turning his head so he can hear him with both ears. His grief is ebbing back into the recesses of his mind, and now he’s mostly just tired and wiped out. As he listens his body goes first hot with rage, and he feels like he could burst with how furious he is over the fact that anyone could have hurt his omega like that. Then it’s replaced with a cold dread so deep it makes his heart seize up for a beat. The shiver that wracks him makes Zech straighten, shifting to be the one curling around Finn, face pressed into his hair as he almost crushes him to him, wanting nothing more than to take this hurt away.

He remembers something vaguely, hand finding its way o his hip, pressing over the harsh whorl and dip of scar tissue that covers almost his entire hip. He realizes as well in that moment why he doesn’t want to go any further than cuddling. “Oh my love, my omega, I’m so sorry. If I had had any idea I never would have- My behavior hasn’t caused anything, has it? No flashbacks, no memories?” In the morning he’d want to hunt down the alpha who did this,but for now his only concern is Finn.

[finnickpearson-blog]

He listens to the story and bites down on his bottom lip, sighing quietly. He doesn’t feel remotely jealous that there was someone who came before him, he feels only a sense of gratitude that there was someone who loved Zech in the most difficult period of his life. “I’m so sorry.” He whispers, and presses a soft kiss to the top of his mate’s head. “I’m so sorry that you lost your love like that. There’s no words that I have that could make that pain ease, or go away.” He stays quiet and lets Zech breathe, lets his mind come to terms with telling Finn something so painful. 

“I would have liked to have met him,” He laughs quietly and traces a hand so tenderly down Zech’s jaw. “Even if it meant that you weren’t mine. He kept you safe and stood by you, and I owe him the world for that. And-” He pauses, trying to decide if he should say the next words, but they fall out of his lips anyway. “A life with you in it is one that has been lived well. It’s really not my place but I know if I was him, I would be be happy to know I had you even for that long.” 

He falls quiet again, and takes in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “I hope that you know I’m not trying to replace him, there are parts of you that will always belong to him and I wouldn’t change that for the world. I love you as you are now, after everything.” 

[zechariahcormac]

The whispered confession of sorrow has him letting out an embarrassing keen, face pressing into his chest as he sobs once more. His shoulders shake with his hard sobs, his grief still heavy after six years of not really talking about his loss. He barely feels the kiss to the top of his head, his arms winding around Finn as he clings to him, his only anchor in the waves of sorrow that threaten to tear him from the shore he had found.

He trusts Finn with this information, and he knows it runs on a deeper level that he isn’t going to look at right now. So he clings to him and lets him see the weakness inside that only Cole had ever, ever seen him fall into. He speaks of having liked to meet him and he sniffles, rubbing his nose against his sternum. “He would have loved you. He had so much love to give in his heart.” Finn talks of not being his and it makes his heart ache to the point where he grips him tighter, pressing closer to him. He can’t imagine not having him now, after everything.

His next words have him stopping, head tilting up in shock as he processes that Finn won’t be hurt by him still loving his long lost love. It has him giving a stuttering cry, one of soft melancholy, happy to not have to give his memory up, but sad to know it is still just memories. “Thank you, thank you.”

[finnickpearson-blog]

“I love you my darling.” He says as Zech settles on his chest, an ear pressed over Finnick’s own pulse. He softens himself, letting the tightness that was drawing his ribs together dissipate, evening out his breath so that his chest rises and falls in a secure and steady rhythm, and running a hand through the alpha’s hair and down his spine. “You don’t have to listen, but I’m going to talk okay? I think it’s important that I just talk right now.” He knows what it’s like to feel like you’re collapsing internally, like nothing can ever sew you back up the right way, and he knows that hearing the voice of someone you care about can make all the difference.

“How about a story?” He chuckles quietly. “There once was a boy, a beautiful and kind boy. This boy, he had a heart unlike any other, when he looked at people he saw the best in them and made them feel like-” He has no words to describe the feeling exactly, it’s something he’s still trying to name, so he moves on. “Anyway, one night, he looked up at the moon. The moon had spent its whole life cold and alone, aching from being so close to the sun and never being able to be as bright. When the moon saw this boy, this incredible boy that would make the sun jealous with his light, he fell in love completely.” He punctuates his sentence with a kiss to Zech’s head, searching out his hands to kiss each knuckle and lace their fingers together tightly. “But the boy, the boy had something inside of him that was hurting his tender heart. He would look up to the moon every night and his eyes would be full of tears, because of this sharp bits and pieces he had held inside of him for so long. The moon hated that his love was sad, that he was hurting so badly. So he came down, and while the boy was sleeping, he kissed both of his eyelids, and gave him all of the light that he had. And when the boy opened his eyes, he had beams of moonlight where eyes should have been.”

[zechariahcormac]

The steady, even rhythm of Finn’s breathing lulls away that last bit of panic and sadness that was lodged hard under his sternum, tugging it free to let the waters loose once more. He cries softly, but without the heart wrenching sobs of grief and anguish of before; more like a tide that can’t be stopped, but is gentle all the same. He listens idly as he cries, rubbing his face against Finn’s chest softly to dispel the tears as he listens.

The story is beautiful, and when he goes to say so, more himself now, all that comes out is a cracked hiccup. It startles him, making him jump at the sound before he is burying his face in his chest to stifle the sound. The arms around him are anchoring and he takes a moment to refocus before he is mumbling softly, clearing his throat to speak loud enough for only Finn to hear.

“I had a husband, before I left Aurelia. His name was Cole, and he was my alpha.” He rubs his eyes with a hand, smearing the tears there. “He stood by me through my page-hood, and when I gained knight status, he proposed. I was never happy in the days after that than that moment.” His voice hitches on a soft sob, tears coming harder now. “When I was blinded, he stuck with me, even when most would have left. He helped me leave Aurelia, but he was still weak from a bout of this coughing disease he was plagued with. We were partway to Sansoria when he took ill again, the same cough coming back with a vengeance. I had no antibiotics, I had no help. He died three days later in my arms, in a grotto not far from the border.”

[finnickpearson-blog]

“You’re safe.” He murmurs when he hears the sobbing die down to just choked out hiccups and snuffling. “I’m so sorry love, I’m so sorry you feel like this. I’m here, I’m here.” Zech shakes in his arms and it makes his heart break, he’s never seen the alpha this vulnerable and laid open before, and he wants nothing more than to protect him from everything. He manages a small smile when Titus leaps up onto the bed, settling his large body over their tangled feet. 

“I love you, I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything else.” He nuzzles him again, up the line of his jawbone to his ear where he speaks the words softly. “Come back to me, talk to me about this.” He moves his hand gently to the spot on the back of Zech’s neck that the alpha had told him to touch whenever he felt full of tension, taking another deep breath. “I only want to help, whatever it is.” 

[zechariahcormac]

The trembling runs through his veins, it feels like, and he can’t stop it if he tried. All he can do is press into Finn and hope he can keep him from shaking apart. The heavy weight of Titus on his feet is a solid comfort, and it stills some of the agony within him to feel Titus’ steady presence. He knows he should talk about this, but the idea of speaking is daunting, and he doesn’t think he can do it yet.

The sensation along his jaw, and the murmured words have him coming back to himself bit by bit. It’s slow going no matter what, until those warm fingers are settling onto the back of his neck, fingertips not yet dimpling the skin with the blessed pressure that helps so much. Even the simple touch there helps, almost yanking him back into himself. He stays quiet as his tremors slowly die down, and simply shuffles close to Finn, shuffling down to hide his face in his chest.

[finnickpearson-blog]

“It’s all right, it’s okay my darling.” He murmurs softly and follows him into the softness of blankets and bed and the scent of them mingled together. He wraps himself around Zech’s larger frame, stroking his hands down Zech’s spine in slow and gentle motions. “I’m here alright? I’m not leaving. I’m here as long as you need me.” He feels like he’s repeating himself, but every word he says he knows Zech needs to hear. That he needs to hear himself say. 

“I know you’re hurting, I know. It’s okay, I want you to know that it’s okay.” He rubs his nose against the alpha’s cheek, replacing the spots where tears have fallen with his own scent. “You’ve been strong for so long my love. Let it go, let me take it.” He breathes deeply, a silent encouragement for Zech to do the same, and he starts singing softly. 

There’s one memory, that until this second he didn’t even know he still had, of his mother. She’s holding him to her chest after a nightmare, stroking his hair gently and singing the same song quietly to him. She says it’s something she learned from her nurse when she was a young girl, but nothing more than that. 

“Lavender’s blue dilly dilly, Lavender’s green, 

When I am king dilly dilly, you shall be king.

Who told you so dilly dilly, Who told you so? 

Twas my own heart dilly dilly, that told me so.” 

[zechariahcormac]

The stroking helps as he presses his face into his chest, letting the sobs wrack his body as everything from the past few months crashes over him. He only half listens to what Finn is saying, too caught up in his own grief to process anything else. The war, his own self esteem, the rising fighting and the terror in this past week of thoughts of what if Finn didn’t come back are just too much.

The nuzzling smears the tears over his skin but he welcomes the feeling, twin sensations of memory and real life playing as he remembers how Cole used to nuzzle his cheeks each time they returned to each other, how good it felt to be able to submit to him, and how that’s been gone for 6 years now. How much he still misses Cole, even as Finn fills that hole in his heart. He stutters on a deep breath as he instinctively follows Finn’s lead, quieting down when he starts to sing.

The song tugs at his heart and he gives a soft little whimper as his sobs slowly subside into little tremors and hiccups. He stays quiet even when his sobs are over, his breath shaking with every inhale, ready to cry again at any moment, still shaken up.

[finnickpearson-blog]

Zech makes it a point to be the picture of stoic, never letting anything other than neutrality and anger (and in Finn’s case fondness and affection), make their way to the surface so that Finn could see them. “You’re incredibly stubborn, do you know that?” He speaks quietly and crosses the room, settling himself into Zech’s lap before wrapping himself around the other man. “I love you. You don’t have to tell me what is bothering you, but you have to come to bed and let me wrap my arms around you.”

He wipes at the tears that escaped Zech’s eyes, kissing the tracks that they left on his skin before gently cupping his face with both hands. “Listen to me Zech, my love. Being with you is the safest I’ve ever felt, and believe me when I say that is a feeling that has never come easily to me.” He looks at the man in front of him, and he knows that his face is betraying every emotion that’s thrashing inside of him like a wave. So he moves Zech’s hands, carefully and gently so that he knows what’s happening, up to his own cheeks before pressing their faces together gently. “You’re safe with me. Come to me and let me protect you from everything for a while.” 

[zechariahcormac]

He hears Finn cross the room and he sags in relief, letting him into his lap and then sagging into him, head tucked into his shoulder to hide his face. He listens to him speak, lets him guide his actions and his thoughts with what he says and it’s such a relief to be able to not be in control. He lets him wipe the tears from his face, malleable in his grip. He tells him he has to come to bed and he nods, waiting until he gets up before standing as well, following him to the bedroom, crawling into the bed, messing the blankets up to burrow beneath them.

His hands on his cheeks, and then their faces together show him Finn is torn up over this, that he just wants to protect him and Zech sobs with it all. He wants to be safe, to be loved again, to not be so lonely. Most of all, he wants to submit. He says he is safe with him and so he trusts him with his, letting his barriers drop until he is shuddering with open sobs, pressing into Finn’s chest with a whine of utter abandon.

[finnickpearson-blog]

“All right love, all right.” He says softly and cups his cheek before moving back to his side of the table. Zech practically caved in when he noticed that Finnick was paying attention to him, so he decides that it’s probably best to try and change the subject. “You know you’re not the only my horse has bitten. That was how I ended up with him.” He smiles softly and reaches across the table, stroking a fingertip across the alpha’s knuckles. 

“My father bought him for racing, he was sired by two incredibly fast horses and the man who sold him assured my father that there was no way that this horse wouldn’t win every race we put him in.” He pauses and laces their fingers together, a simple touch with room for the alpha to back away if he needed to. “So he paid a handsome sum for the colt, brought him home and told his best men to make it race ready. However, as you well know, Jupiter is not one to comply to instructions, and he bucked off every rider that my father brought in. He even bit my father so badly that he drew blood.”

He pauses his story to look outside the window, to the patch of grass where the animal was grazing lazily and tossing his head. He knows if he looks too long at Zech, he won’t be able to suppress the urge to fix everything for him. “Eventually, as you know, my family decided that they didn’t want me anymore, and Jupiter was going to be put down, so he let me saddle him up and we rode off together.” 

[zechariahcormac]

When he moves away he wants to call him back, wants to give in to the submissive side of him that craves so much to be taken care of, to be able to not have to be the big guy for once. Instead he bottles it all up, hands dropping from his face as tears track their way down his face. He keeps a hand on the table, but the other drops to twist into Titus’ fur. How can he tell him he still mourns a husband without making Finn uncertain or scared?

He doesn’t really listen to the story of how he met Jupiter, too focused on trying to calm down to be able to listen. The brush across his knuckles is fleeting but ground, and the lacing helps hold him down he clenches onto the touch, head pressing into the wood of the table, the grain rough against his forehead as he rubs it against it for the texture. The touch is good, it’s great, but he needs more. He needs to give in for once and just let someone take care of him.

So he gives a pathetic whine, the alpha side of him recoiling from such a submissive sound; tugging on the hand Finn has, he tries non verbally to tell him to come here, whimpering low in the back of his throat in a pitiful attempt to call for care.

[finnickpearson-blog]

“Are you alright darling?” He frowns when he sees Zech swallow thickly and squeeze his eyes closed. His heart falls into his stomach and he wants to immediately snap into action, find the root of the problem and make it disappear,  but he tells himself that sometimes the best thing is to just comfort and let the other man work it out on his own. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. If you would rather curl up in bed and listen to me read, nothing would make me happier.” 

He stands and pads over to Zech’s side of the table, wrapping his arms around the Alpha’s shoulder’s and kissing his cheek with gentleness. Titus senses the distress as well, and pushes his muzzle into Zech’s leg with a low whine. “I love you. I don’t want you to feel like you have to unpack everything to me, I just want you to know that if there’s ever anything you want to tell me, I’ll keep it locked up in my chest.” 

[zechariahcormac]

He hadn’t realized Finn had been watching him close enough to see. It’s still shocking for people to be in his home, to see him in his private moments again when things get to be too much sometimes. His shoulders lift up and he hunches forward, hiding the glimmer of tears that he can’t fight back now that Finn has brought attention to his distress. He stays leaned over a bit, focusing on trying to calm back down.

He wants that moment in the moonlight with Finn, wants to have that comfort and that intimacy like he used to, but with the knowledge that Finn can tell he’s upset he’s falling apart quickly, crumbling at the seams. The arms around him are only a minimal comfort, as well as the cold nose pressing against his thigh. He shudders as he completely crumbles at his trusting words, pushing his plate away and sagging into the table, hair falling to cascade over the table. “I just-- Need a moment.”

[finnickpearson-blog]

“Of course I do.” He takes the plate offered to him and hops down off of the counter, nearly tripping over Titus and rolling his eyes at the way the dog lolls his tongue up at him. “Might be fun to take your furry menace out in the night air, not think about how to teach an alpha who thinks he knows everything how to parry a blow.” 

He lowers himself down onto a chair and licks his lips, smiling at the low growl he can hear in the alpha’s throat. It makes something warm erupt in his chest every time, something bright and fierce and, happy. “You could instead occupy your mind with other thoughts,” he hums and takes a bite, tapping his fingers thoughtfully. “Like the way I fit against your chest so perfectly. Or maybe you could think about how it would feel to trace every freckle down my spine. Or, perhaps, about how the cool night air would feel when you put your lips on mine.” 

[zechariahcormac]

He hums and follows him to the table, Titus shifting out of the way at the last minute to avoid tripping his owner. He settles down, settling into the chair with a grateful huff. “As long as we don’t bring your menace. Titus never bit me.” He hums as he eats with a quickness come from former army training, and pure hunger.

The tapping of his fingers send sound rippling over the table, creating bright little flashes of the environment around Finn that make him shake his head; like a flashing light to people who can see The thoughts he describes are ones hes thought of before, ones he yearns for with something so deep within in him it makes his heart wrench. He hasn’t loved anyone like this since Cole, since those whirlwind days with the alpha he thought he’d never lose. The thoughts make a lump rise in his throat and he closes his eyes against the rising tide of emotions, swallowing hard.

[finnickpearson-blog]

“I know you can’t put tack on, but I will be here.” He laughs when Zech huffs and rolls his eyes at the mention of Finnick’s prized tawny horse, as large in personality and stature as the planet it takes it’s name from. His father had given him the horse for his fifteenth birthday, after his best stablemen had tried and failed to put tack on him and take him out to be ridden. It had immediately endeared him to the animal, that and their shared experience of riding away from the Pearson estate together. “Foals are incredibly soft, and the mare is a gentle girl. Her name is Iris, she’ll eat right out of your hand, like Titus with less paws and barking.” 

He hums thoughtfully, nosing behind his ear and grinning when it elicits a shiver from the alpha. “I know a nice spot with a willow tree, just starting to bloom. You could kiss me under the moonlight like you wanted, in the cool grass, Titus with us, nobody else in the world.” 

[zechariahcormac]

The boys laugh makes him smile, and he nuzzles him softly, smelling a change in the meat He plucks a piece out, turning his head to snap it up, chewing thoughtfully before pronouncing it done. He pulls away with a regretful noise to get out some of the flatbread he keeps, serving up two plates of the meat and vegetable mix, with flatbread on the side. He hands Finn his with a smile. “Soft they may be, but I would rather not get kicked by Jupiter’s offspring.”

The nosing makes him hum softly and shiver, leaning into him before pulling away with his plate at his words. The offer is very tempting, and he rumbles softly in the back of his throat. The bump of Titus against his leg makes him hum softly. “Do you want that, my love? Would ou like me to kiss you breathless under the moon?”