Touch me and you'll burn @zemblanking - Tumblr Blog

joshpeck

my assigned tumblr staff incel seeing the word titty on my blog

yocalio

“female-presenting nipples”

liquidstar

pride flags for all the frogs that were turned gay by the chemicals in the water 🐸✊🏳️‍🌈

liquidstar

yall see the words “gay” and “frog” and just slam that reblog huh

corgifish

nest-deactivated20181209

me trying to wake up for an 8am

pangur-and-grim

Can we all just appreciate kitten Pangur for a second?

photos taken by Linda Russell

sonnearchive-deactivated2022120

Important news in the Left

kylostantrums

marvel headquarters, early 2000s

guy 1: who do u think we should cast as wolverine

guy 2: idk probably a huge, jacked man

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

I was working with a seagull and I said “as someone in Wildlife I know I should never anthropomorphize animals or hold them to any human moral standard, but seagulls are capable of and regularly knowingly commit evil” and the vet tech with me said “no yeah that’s true.”

sootyowl

Nooooooo. As a wildlife carer, seagulls are precious. They are silly and annoying at times, but I love them.

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

Listen. I will defend seagulls and their habitat to my own end out of altruism in the fight to save nature, but if we lived in a world where animals were capable of understanding my efforts and being grateful, seagulls would still just be the same. They’d be like “oh some dumb stupid bastard humans saved our entire habitat? Interesting. Take their belongings.”

fuckingflying

I hate linguistic anthropology. Why? One of the most influential experiments in linguistic anthropology involved teaching a chimp asl. One of the most influential linguistics is named Noam Chomsky. You know what the chimp’s name was?

Nim Chimpsky.

Fucking monkey pun.

And this is in textbooks, in documentaries, everywhere. And everyone just IGNORES THIS GOD AWFUL PUN cause of how important the experiment was. But

BUT LOOK AT THIS SHIT. FUCKING NIM CHIMPSKY. I HATE THIS WHOLE FIELD.

dr-dendritic-trees

Its not just the linguistic anthropologists.

There’s a group of very important genes that determine if your body develops in the right shape/organization… they are called the hedgehog genes, because fruit fly geneticists are all ridiculous. The different hedgehog genes are all named after different hedgehogs. And then someone decided to get clever and name one “sonic hedgehog” because this is just what fruitfly geneticists do.

Well sonic hedgehog controls brain development, and now actual doctors are stuck in the position of explaining to grieving parents that their child’s lethal birth defects or life-threatening tumors are caused by a “sonic hedgehog mutation”.

And this is why no one will invite the fruit fly people to parties.

error-404-fuck-not-found

Biogeochemical scientists, upon discovering the complex mechanisms that govern the storage and use of molecular iron on our planet, decided to call this cycle “the ferrous wheel”. We groaned about that for at least five solid minutes.

callmegallifreya

The phenomenon of sneezing when exposed to sudden bright light is called an Autosomal-dominant Compelling Helio Opthalmic Outburst. ACHOO.

Half a byte of data is a nibble.

theglowpt2-deactivated20200101

sasuke? from hamilton?

peachfromcmbyn

i’ve played a few games of dnd, and my favorite class to play is the bard, and my favorite bard spell is vicious mockery, which is essentially where you say a magic yo momma joke and the target takes damage. the type of damage is kinda weird, psychic damage, i never understood that, what the hell is psychic damage? how can that hurt you. i should amend that to say that i never understood that until now when reading this caused me to take psychic damage irl

anneonomus

That relatable (older) Gen Z memory: when all the projectors and white boards got replaced by Smart Boards™ around like fifth grade and none of the teachers knew how to use them but they Had To Use them otherwise the school just wasted a bunch of money and it was a rlly weird transition

space-ex

an addition: when they calibrated the board by pressing the dots and everyone in class lost their minds

sup-mr-stark

Also when teachers seemed to battle over who got the laptop cart

living-deadx-girlx

Get Out (2017) The opening of the film is partially inspired by the opening of Halloween (1978), which Jordan Peele describes as a subversion of “the perfect white neighborhood.”

victordeadlock

bruhx10

I know exactly what the fucking reply is. I don’t need to look closely, I know exactly which motherfucker you put in the distance

adult-sasuke

that post was right i wouldn’t have a sense of humor without spongebob. its still some of the goddamn funniest shit i’ve ever seen. spongebob almost dying because he’s too polite to ask for a glass of water at sandy’s house. mr. krabs and spongebob killing the health inspector. smittywerbenjagermenjensen. “I was born with glass bones and paper skin. every morning I break my legs. and every afternoon I break my arms.” the perfume department on the flying dutchman’s boat. that time spongebob cleared his mind to be a fine dining waiter and forgot his own name because that’s how customer service just BE. the ugly barnacle that was so ugly everyone DIED. the END. the one where squidward buys a pie but it’s actually a bomb. and the MUSICAL numbers like??? the fun song. the christmas song. tony award winning song “this grill is not a grill”. the entire band geeks episode like…this is all from the top of my head!!!!! just from the top of my head!!! there’s so much more!!! thank god for stephen and all the laughs i’ve had because of him.

rbthemad

i don’t mean to sound fake deep but the reason 2018 felt so long was because we’re being fed what’s trending at such a rapid rate that we literally can’t remember half of the shit that even happened anymore. “Black Panther came out in February!” Marvel releases so many movies a year that we completely forget about the last movie as soon as a new one comes out and it repeats in a vicious cycle. “Tide Pods/Ugandan Knuckles was in January!” The life span of memes have been rapidly declining for years and it’s gotten to the point where the average lifespan of a meme is about 2 weeks and then the next thing gets popular and then that lasts for 2 weeks and it just keeps going. We’re literally losing our sense of time because of our rapid consumption of media and pop culture.