xenia ayunova
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@zerafinas-blog
xenia ayunova
You’re right. I can’t save you. The whole time he had me, there was some part of me that fought. There was some tiny corner of my brain that tried to get out. And I’m still fighting. I won’t stop fighting. But if you give up, I lose. Do you get that? He did this to you to get at me. To isolate me. To make me feel like an infection, one more person dead or dying because of me. So why don’t you remember how to be a goddamn human being again, instead of this self-pitying piece of shit that he turned you into, and save me for once? You choose.
AKA The Sandwich Saved Me
Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher on the set of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Like I am right now… http://www.lookhuman.com/design/293829-if-you-need-me-i-ll-be-on-the-internet
“His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad, His hair is as dark as a blackboard. I wish he was mine, he’s really divine, The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”
Vologda, Russia.
resolutions
resolutions 2016
get off your phone- don’t connect to school wifi, you don’t need to check Instagram during classes. You don’t have to reply to that group chat if you are not being directly spoken to. You see friends at school, no need to talk tons after and before it too.
be nicer- even if the friends u have now aren’t the best, its fine. High school is over soon, and you’ll move to a crazy new place and meet crazy new people. Don’t stress about your friends now.
Focus. When in class, focus on the subject. When watching a movie, don’t be on your phone at the same time. When eating, focus on eating. When doing homework, make sure you get the most productivity out of your time.
Connect. Use Facebook for the reason it was created- connect with old friends in different countries. Skype them, snapchat them, keep the connection. Visit them!
Focus on your health. Figure the whole mental health thing out. Don’t be embarrassed about it.
Dedicate the time you said you would. All those extracurriculars- make sure you give them the time you wanted to when you signed up. Stop half-assing things and be the best participant or leader you can be.
Stop telling everyone everything. Its important to keep some personal things to yourself. Everyone knowing everything about you does nothing for you.
Make school one of your top priorities. Remember that going to school is a privilege. Grades are not everything, though! Even if you don’t get that 7, you still learned something.
Go to volleyball practice. Go to the matches. Prove that you are a valuable part of a team.
Get out of your comfort zone, but don’t succumb to peer pressure. If you think you’ll regret not going out, go out- see what happens. If you think you need to stay home, take a bath, make a curry, and binge watch Grey’s Anatomy, that’s cool too!
Sleep. If you coordinate your time well, you can be in bed by 10. Make it an easy thing to get up at 6. Make yourself a tea and breakfast.
Read. Read before bed, read on the bus, read at break. If you don’t feel like hanging out with friends, don’t resort to sitting on your phone. Read a chapter or two before your next class. It’s nice!
Accept. When someone tells you that you hurt their feelings, or something of that calibre, accept it. Apologize. Its not up to you to decide if what you did hurt them or not.
Grow out your nails! This one is easy. Stop biting!!
Don’t forget your water!
Keep positive. If you need a break from studying, friends, school, family- take it! It will help keep you calm!
Take the opportunities presented to you! Take that trip to London or Rome even if you have a test the next week.
Many things suck but nature is still pretty.
I am I, and I wish I weren’t // Aldous Huxley.
we are not things.
Crystal cove 😲 #nofilter (at Crystal Cove State Park)
Well she certainly is that.
i may be a terrible person but at least i say please and thank you and use my fucking blinker
If a hiker gets lost in the mountains, people will coordinate a search. If a train crashes, people will line up to give blood. If an earthquake levels a city, people all over the world will send emergency supplies. This is so fundamentally human that it’s found in every culture without exception. Yes, there are assholes who just don’t care, but they’re massively outnumbered by the people who do.
I’m also a we.