Okay so, I just got through the first part of Three Houses, up to and including the Time-Skip , so, allow me to summarize my experience thus far…
Rhea: The Goddess is a divine being, a creature of pure light and grace.
Ignatz: She’s the most beautiful being there is. She must be!
Marianne: She is forgiveness and love incarnate.
Sothis, rolling up to Byleth’s consciousness at 3AM: What up bro, we outta Oreos again.
Random Mercenary: Captain Jeralt! Theres some kids out here asking for help!
Edelgard, bathed in red light and surrounded by roses: Greetings
Dimitri, radiating strength and beauty: Salutations.
Claude, absolutely oozing rakish charm: Hey there.
Byleth: *internal bisexual panic*
Byleth: It’s rewind time.
*reverses time and saves them*
Student: You’re a tactical genius!
Byleth: Cha-cha real smooth.
Rhea: can teach you Brawling*
Rhea: Goddess have mercy on this ass I’m about to destroy.
Dimitri: Join the Blue Lions! We have cute boys.
Edelgard: Join the Black Eagles! We have cute girls.
Claude: Join the Golden Deer! We have the Found Family Trope.
Byleth: *Immediately joins Golden Deer*
Byleth: Dad, am I interrupting anything important?
Jeralt: Impossible. I’m working for the Church of Seiros.
Byleth, clapping his hand to either side of Bernadetta’s face: WHAT ARE YOU!
Bernadetta: A- an idiot san-
Byleth: NO! WHAT ARE YOU REALLY?!
Bernadetta: A t-t-treasure?
Ignatz: B-but, your parents! They died be-
Raphael, crushing him into a massive hug: NO SADNESS! ONLY FRIENDSHIP!
Death Knight: BEHOLD, MORTALS, FOR I AM YOUR DESTRUCTION. I AM YOUR… DEATH.
Byleth: *pats Lysitheia on the head* Sic ‘em.
Death Knight: *girlish shriek of terror*
Edelgard: I’m emo now and fuck the Church.
Dimitri: I’m feral now and fuck Edelgard.
Claude: BEST BUDDY! *flying hug tackles Byleth* Wanna help me end racism!?