Lately I just feel like sleeping...
I know it's my fault. I'm fine when I have dxm, but I feel drained otherwise. It's not even depression, or not just depression anyway.
My dreams are just so vivid every time I sleep. Usually lucid too. I have a whole other life in my head, in my dreams.
Over the last few months my dreams have become more... I'm struggling to think of the word... They have a strong backstory, there's things that tie them together. My dream world is more consistent with itself. Instead of visiting a new place every night, I visit the same dreamworld and just build on it.
I've almost always dreamed I was a hero, I think due to a lot of superhero movies and games. So for a long time I've been building up different dream powers. After dreaming of them for so long, they sort of carry over to the next dream and I generally remember I have them. And overtime that started to be the dream version of me. But I'd always dream I was different places, the backdrops of my dream usually changed, though I do still have quite a lot of dreams that take place at my old school.
Anyway, recently I started dreaming I owned a big combo zoo/themepark/waterpark... And for some reason it stuck. The exact exhibits and exact layout tend to change a bit, but the overall idea behind it stays the same.
As I've unlocked unlimited money in my dreams (the currency is gold coins, a single one can range from being worth $100-10000, or something absurd) I'm the rich owner of the park. I go around paying hundreds of dollars for things that cost $5 just to make sure everyone who works at my park is well payed. And not all of them seem to recognize me as the owner, so for the last week or two I've started to wear a name tag showing I'm the owner. Before then a couple people told me I shouldnt be there if I went inside an exhibit only for me to be like "dude... I OWN the place."
There's also a hotel near the entrance, I've decided to permanently rent one of the rooms, though I still pay just so it doesn't cut into any of the earnings. Sometimes my family is visiting with me, and they always want me to leave after a day.
I don't know if that means something about my family trying to push me away from my dreams... but I always get upset. I've yelled at them that I'm SO MUCH HAPPIER staying here in my zoo. Here in my dreams. That I have a whole zoo and themepark. And people who look up to me, people happy that I'm there. A bunch of animals, some mythical or nonexistent sometimes, that I can pet and feed, and teach people about.
I dunno, I think my "family" in the dream represents the part of me that knows I'm oversleeping, and tries to tell me I can't just stay in that world.
Not sure what to think. Sucks knowing I could literally never achieve my dreams, both because some of the things I dream of are impossible like magic and fictional creatures... But I couldn't even ever own a zoo or themepark, I'd have to be a billionaire... So then I wake up and take some robotablets, because then at least I have those to boost my mood, and they have a slight stimulant effect so it helps me stay awake.
I just want my own reality.
Oh also, IDK why exactly, I think cause it's open at night... also just cause it rhymes even... My zoo/themepark is called Dark Park. Maybe cause the owner is part werewolf.
Anyway, this was what the nametags looked like in one dream, the first one where I named my park. Now they're just rectangle instead of stars though.
jbbartram-illu
turnnoffyourmind
germansingergirl
areudirty
yousharknotpass
jacobvanloon
izzy806
andulkaphoto
