I was in a "Comedy School" reality TV show hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan that was filmed like Big Brother where people had to "learn comedy" by living in a big dormitory school where all you did all day was play pranks and do skits together and Brennan was the instructor/dean.
In the communal kitchen, you weren't allowed to throw away egg shells or egg cartons but rather just put egg shells back in so the cartons looked full from the outside. Apparently there was a running bit where when a new student arrives, the two newest students have to: Go get all the empty egg cartons, plus the newest one with real eggs in it, take it to the foyer where new students come in and just stand in the background chucking eggs one by one into a fireplace that had spinning fan blades in it because "the eggs went bad." And absolutely no other context was to be given to the new student. The cartons full of empty eggshells were to make it look like we had dozens of eggs to chuck one-by-one into egg hell, despite actually only having a few.
So I, the second newest student, actually hadn't been victim or participant of this prank before. So when I was told "Go! Go get the eggs!" I only really knew the concept of the plan. Me and the girl I'm partnered with fetch the egg cartons except there is like 7 empty cartons, one carton with like two eggs and one fresh pack of eggs that is really heavy because they are all 24-packs. Part of the bit is that one person has to carry all the eggs like a squire so that the other just stands there, throwing eggs into egg hell.
With my hands impossibly full of egg cartons, we enter the foyer to begin the bit before the new student arrives. The first eggs are drawn and sent to hell, but now its time to send eggs from the fresh carton. In my fumbling to get it open (still holding all the other cartons, mind you) I drop an egg that splats on the hardwood floor. My partner, realizing she should probably break the bit standard and help me give her eggs instead of standing there stoically steps over to help, but then slips in egg yolk crashing into me sending 8 cartons full of eggshells, 1 carton full of real eggs and both of us--to the floor.
Yolk and egg shell everywhere. The floor is so slippery we can't even stand. We look like we need a Benny Hill backing track. I have egg on my face for real making it hard to see, which is impossible anyways because I am laughing so hard I can't breathe and I'm hardly making noise.
ENTER, STAGE RIGHT: New student, wide eyed at the chaos unfolding.
ENTER, STAGE LEFT: Dean Mulligan. Immediately his historically stoic, unfazed straight face turns to rage. "What the hell is the meaning of this?! Why are you two covered in egg? I should expel you two for such nonsense! Both of you- Failing grade! Clean this up!"
Meanwhile, I'm on the floor laughing hysterically and I have egg on my face and hands and don't want it in my eyes so I have them clamped shut and I can't breathe, my lungs and face hurt, I can hear eggs rolling on the hardwood floor as I lay in a soup of yolk, eggshell and carton paper mache.
EXIT STAGE LEFT: Dean Mulligan and New Girl.
Me and my partner pull ourselves to our feet. She's panicked because by Reality TV show rules, if you end the week with a failing grade you are expelled, and it is Friday.
We both rush to pick up what we can when an idea hits me. Just do the bit. We pick up the least smashed carton, fill it with the most intact eggs, and wait for-
ENTER STAGE LEFT: Dean Mulligan and New Girl looking at myself and my partner, our uniforms covered in drying egg yolk with a splattering of eggshells and yolk at our feet. Me, carrying a half busted carton of eggs, while she draws them one at a time to be casted into the firey pit of egg hell.
New Student: *breathes out in confusion* "What...?"
Me, egg still dripping down my face: *turns head to her slowly with all the poise I can muster as my partner casts another egg into the fire*
"Eggs went bad."











