Memories
Drunk with the memories of you
Don’t know what I should do
Do you think of me sometimes too?

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EXPECTATIONS

Kiana Khansmith

Origami Around

if i look back, i am lost
YOU ARE THE REASON

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Today's Document
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Noah Kahan
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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@zharology
Memories
Drunk with the memories of you
Don’t know what I should do
Do you think of me sometimes too?
Love is the antagonist.
He is the villain – the master thief.
Just when you’ve locked your front door, he opens a window.
He barges into your living room and makes himself at home.
He rummages greedily through your cupboards in search for sustenance to satiate his hunger.
With a cereal bowl full of your deepest thoughts and late night anecdotes, he sits on your worn out couch and flips through the shows on television - as if it was an existing routine.
As if he was a permanent occupant, a stain on the carpet that doesn’t come off no matter how many times you’ve scrubbed it with bleach.
He sneaks into your bed at the dead of night, and whispers you lullabies. And just in the wee hours of morning,
right when you’ve only just begun to get used to his steady, warm breath on your neck,
you hear the mattress creak,
and just like that your bare neck suddenly feels cold from the window he left open on his way out – and your chest
suddenly feels hollow as he runs away with your heart jangling in his pockets along with all the other things he robbed you of.
- ry japzon
What if?
What if, in another universe
I told you what I truly felt?
that you’re special for me
and I treasure you a lot.
What if I showed more signs
and made you feel loved?
Meeting people.
(scanned art)
------
Reality check: I broke my stylus.
“You’ll always be that dream I never want to wake up from.”
—
Hypocrite
No matter how much I tell that I'm only after the friendship
After knowing all about the aftermaths of my mistake, your side of the story, and reminiscing the past
A part of me wants you back
A part of me hopes you'd be back
A part of me low-key wishing for you to be my person
A part of me silently praying to universe
For you and I continue writing the love story we yet to have
BOOOM!!!
You're texting him flirtatious messages, calling to suggest getting together for a drink after work, asking him how he feels. Are you c
Hindi na nga poooooo XD
Of heartaches and tears caused by family
Never belittle anyone's pain. You cannot dictate what someone feels, especially when you did not go through it.
Hanash sometime last year or maybe early this year 😅😂
Hanging by a thread
On the verge of insanity
I am in over my head
I just really wanna be free
How can I keep going
When all they ever see
Are my mistakes piling
That's not me
Sick and tired of everything
I just want to give up
Unappreciated, unwanted
Is this still me?
When will this ever end?
I want to be made right with you again
Why does it feel like
I never did something right
Hanash 4 years ago XD
Today I made a vow.
Today I made a vow. I made a vow I promise never to break. Today I made a commitment. I made a commitment to stay loyal to You and learn how to wait. I will no longer rush things. I will not let family talks and my time ticking pressure me. No, not anymore.
I will be patient this time as I was before he came. I will wait for You and Your perfect time. Wait for You and the right guy. And even if it’d take longer than I’m expecting, I will wait. I will no longer take matters into my own hands but I will let Your will be done.
Even if waiting would mean I’d have lesser options, I will wait. Even if waiting would mean I might have to live alone in the end, I will wait. For I know that You are more than enough for me. You are my joy and You are my hope. No one else can ever complete me, only You alone.
Vol. V, Journal Entry #7
June 2, 2021
Funny how stalking and looking back would bring tears and so much pain. I guess I cried because of the things I wrote 3 years ago:
-I don’t want to do this to myself anymore. I deserve to be loved wholeheartedly & treated with respect. Jesus, teach me, help me to see MY BEAUTY THROUGH YOUR EYES.
-May I start over again. May I use my head, my brain, instead of my heart over and over again. Give me a fresh start with You, Lord.
-I was scared of giving him up before because I thought no man would ever approach and like me again.
-I’ve been running away from this problem since Day 1, thinking that since I’m older, I should’ve known better.
Was there a lifetime waiting for us in a world where I was yours? 🥺😭
How should we like it were stars to burn With a passion for us we could not return? If equal affection cannot be, Let the more loving one be me.
W. H. Auden
In Time With You
More than a year ago, I got immersed with this Taiwanese drama, In Time With You. These were my notes from it because I really liked the quotes they used there:
Signs of Getting Old vs Charm of a Mature and Sophisticated Woman
1. Easily forgets things that happened more recently, but remembers things that happened in the past more clearly. // Finally learning to throw a wicked and beautiful punch as we tread beautifully in our high-heeled shoes.
2. You feel like a luggage to be picked up. // You are not a luggage to be picked up but a bag with many stories to tell.
3. The divorces of our friends starts exceeding that of their marriages. // Have a friend who will grieve with you for your broken heart.
4. You don't want to change the habits you are used to. // Laughter can overcome your enemies and yourself.
5. You feel like you're drowning in a pile of passwords. // Don't be other people's bookmark; but a book worth reading again and again.
6. Always putting important things in important places and then forgetting that important places. // The thing that makes you shine is not a diamond but your tears after you cried.
7. You start caring about a product's ingredients, manufacturing company, as well as it's expiry dates. // With your basics, no matter where you are; you can bloom again.
8. It's a bother to explain one's life from the beginning that's why you don't bother to make new friends. // Drink plenty of water, purify your life, purify your love, purify the concealed truth.
9. Finally understand that 'God is really busy' // Tell yourself bravely, this is not mine!
10. Your fighting ability arises while dealing with a group of swindlers. // No one can ever determine the length of our hair.
11. You could sing KTV 'til the sun comes up before. Now, after staying up one night, you're tired for a week. // There will always be a new generation of Sailor Moon you can look up to.
12. If you don't mutter to yourself, the brain will tie itself up in knots. // Have at least two passbooks, one to save for wealth, and one to save for an old friend.
13. Becoming suspicious of perfection, and having unshakable faith in imperfection. // Have a job that you love, have a home that you cherish, have him. :"> <3
It's Been a Year!
A year ago, this little big girl ventured on a journey she never imagined she'd take. With a heart full of hope and expectation, she wandered to the unknown, trusting His promise to go where He wants her to go because He had gone before her. With her prayers answered, she thought life would not be hard anymore. Little did she know that she's in for an adventure of a lifetime.
Living away from home when she's always been with her family made her realize their value. She finally understood why her Tito would always say, "family should always be your first ministry."
Adjusting to a new environment was bearable thanks to her dependable & supportive colleagues, newfound family, and friends. She has felt at home since she came because of their warm welcome.
Life was not easy because 2020 had been full of twists and turns. The pandemic that shook the world shook her heart too. Questions like, "If God is good, why is this happening?" kept on popping in her head. She found out there's something more than regular bible reading, attending church and small groups. Spending time with her Creator became a totally different picture. The Word used to pierce her heart from time to time from a preacher's sermon. Now she knows that if she is intentional, it can speak to her every day. She's not a perfect woman. She still makes mistakes and hurts Him, given her fallen nature. However, since she chooses to live for Him daily, she can make it through life's pain and difficulties.
Yes, #BlackLivesMatter. But that does not entitle us to destroy, vandalize or harm other people. We empathize and grieve with those who were treated unjustly but we can voice out our opinion calmly. https://www.instagram.com/p/CA6KCBMBA4h/?igshid=ada619pheh7g
Who's Ong Seongwu, you ask? Here. One of the few contestants who got an A during their first evaluation in Produce 101 S2. See how impressed the judges were. Vote for Ong Seongwu in Baeksang Popularity Award @baeksang.official , link in the bio. #ONGSEONGWU #옹성우 #옹 #kpop #kdrama #korean #kpopidolofficial #actor https://www.instagram.com/p/CAqsXPahQ8V/?igshid=194bsgft81qq3