s p i r i t u a l . s t a t e @zii-rin - Tumblr Blog

07/21/2025

Another life update.

I feel like I post every other year regarding what's happening in life.

I'm 6 months pregnant with my first child! Our closest friends & family have known for months but we just did a pregnancy "hard launch" this past weekend. So surreal. Alex and I are having a boy, who will be due the first week of November 2025. A scorpio born on the year of the snake, just like my dad (lol scary...). We are sooo excited to be first time parents & can't wait to meet our baby boy. The nursery is like 1% done but we're taking each day as it comes.

Baby boy is so active in my belly; I swear he's doing barrel rolls in there. I've gained like 17ish lb so far. I've had sciatica pretty much since the first trimester and some charlie horses while sleeping (so painful wtf). But overall my pregnancy has been fairly smooth. I like the extra attention and special treatment that I've been getting, hehe.

I've been an associate OD at my current practice for about 1 year now. The job has its perks. Better than my last 2 places of employment, that's for sure. Hopefully I'm able to stick with this practice for a while. Of course, I still have days where I have an existential crisis about what I'm going to do for the rest of my life... but it's been less frequent lately. I think that's a good sign? I know forsure that I want to focus on being a good mama to my little one.

Overall, I've been loving life. Some days are hard but I'm generally happy. OK byeee!

#text #personal

5/18/2023

wow.

what a crazy year past few years it’s been. 2022 alone was a wild ride. i got married to the love of my life/soul mate/best friend. the wedding was so much fun & we loved every moment of it. i wish i could live in that day forever. we became first time home owners (the process for purchasing a new-build home during a pandemic was insanely annoying). we went to spain for a 2 week honeymoon (soooo fun, 10/10 despite their colonizer history lol). i got a new position as an associate OD at a private practice (this job still isn’t perfect but its still an improvement compared to my last work situation).

im pretty happy. i have a good life.

going to japan for the first time in about a week. traveling to kyoto, osaka, tokyo. this trip is so long overdue. i can barely contain my excitement :))

anyways i think i wanna get back into blogging. in case someone ever feels like tapping into my thoughts or in case i ever feel like reading back on my life again.

#text

hello~

long time no update.

so, it’s sept. 16th, 2021. the pandemic has been going on for the past year and a half. it’s really taken a toll on me physically & mentally, like it has for most people. i’m just thankful that my friends & family are healthy.

if you think about it, i began working as an OD in august of 2019, straight out of school. i worked only for about 7 months & then the lockdowns started happening. so, most of my career has been working in a panny-d. i’ve been taking on a lot of the work load that should be shared with others. this is mainly due to my office being so short-staffed during covid. part of it also has something to do with me just wanting to do everything on my own, because then i’ll know that it was done right.

sometimes, i don’t know how to ask for help. & then it ends up exhausting me, draining me. i don’t know how to let go of my anxieties.

i feel like i’m going to implode if i don’t change the way i am. i can’t keep living like this.

#text #personal

life update: 10/17/2019

been working as a practicing optometrist for almost three months. it’s been great; the work i do is challenging but enjoyable and im so lucky to have co-workers that i find hilarious and fun. it’s been nothing short of a dream.

however, i still am having a hard time adjusting to full time work. i dont have time for hobbies or things i enjoy. or, rather, i may have some time but i have very little energy and motivation these days. im always exhausted. even on days that i start later on in the morning, i stay in bed for as long as i can, even though ive already been up for an hour. some days are difficult.

im hoping i can adjust a bit easier. i love my career and i dont regret the path ive chosen. but theres just something about living to work that leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

7/30/2019

tumblr! it’s been so long. i feel as though no one uses this outlet anymore. i’ll just give a quick update on my life, i suppose.

i’ve been a lot more active on twitter these days. i’ve deleted ig since i realized it’s just not good for my mental health. it’s been about one month and i have been feeling good. everytime i would spiral into my low points & had terribly low self esteem, ig would just seem to worsen it. nowadays, i can focus on the positive aspects of myself rather than comparing to unrealistic images of “influencers” and “models” online. it’s really just ridiculous. maybe someday i’ll try it again.

i just came back from a two-week trip to the philippines. it was so much fun: got to island hop in siargao, see my only living grandparent in butuan, picked fresh fruits in davao, shop and sightsee in manila, and have a relaxing spa day in tagaytay. i really want to go back next year & maybe even squeeze in another country.

i graduated with my OD in May & my license just got approved recently, meaning i am finally a board certified optometrist. it feels strange being out of school. i’ve always wanted my phD but idk. i need to start a life outside of academia.

alex has been so wonderful. being w him has made me realize that he’s the first partner i’ve ever truly respected as an equal. he’s my hero. he aspires me to be a better person, the best version of myself that i can be. i never knew what it was like to not be in a toxic relationship. it’s all i’ve ever known. he saved me. i’m so grateful for him.

i start my new job in a few days. i’m super nervous. i hope i fit in well & provide good care to my patients. also moving into a new apartment in the next state over. hoping for a smooth transition into the next stage of my life.

my 5 year plan today is drastically different from last year’s plan. but it’s okay. it’s life. i couldn’t be more content.

#text #personal #me