the self is a guy you made up to get mad at
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ellievsbear
Acquired Stardust

JBB: An Artblog!

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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oozey mess
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One Nice Bug Per Day

#extradirty
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Xuebing Du
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@ziote
the self is a guy you made up to get mad at
do you ever feel yourself fail a charisma check in real time
i'm helping out at a creative writing workshop for uhhh i think 10-12s? 10-14s? idk. but that age range. and anyways
a) i forgot how fun this is
b) it's really hard not to like, re-write for them and stick to just "hey add descriptions here, change this grammar, really cool ideas!" bc i'm an adult and not trying to talk over/railroad these kids, but i'm just so excited for their ideas!!!
c) little boys write cool stuff like "what if we went to mars but it sucked so we left, but left behind all our technology and the technology rose up and created its own society and then went to war with us for abandoning them? what if transformers had 100x the war crimes? what if the earth blew up. what if we were the robots all along?"
d) little girls out here writing like "aunt melanie's skin was sloughing off the bones as her beloved dogs tore her apart, turning on her in blind animal instinct. the second she stopped providing food, she became food." and a lot of body horror and dark themes about group pacts and betrayals and ritualistic murder/sacrifices. like a lot
me, turning to the teacher who is also doing this: hey so, i'm personally really cool with the tone and direction these girls take, but is any of this? how you say... a red flag?
teacher: little girls have really rich inner lives to combat the way they're puppeted by society in real life. they'll learn to censor it out in a couple years, but it doesn't go away.
me, who was also a weird little girl who phased in and out of weirdness depending on social settings: nice.
Did You Learn?
you can lie on the floor in your home and the Soft Baby who lives there will approach you. this will increase your chance of contact with Nose Wet by 75%
"Heated Rivalry” season 1 is officially being released on physical formats! (DVD, Blu-ray, and 4k Blu-ray)
The 4k Blu-ray collectors edition will feature an exclusive, yet to be revealed cover art, with a runtime of 5 hours. All 3 editions are reportedly releasing April 30th 2027.
I love lying to my landlord. “We’re currently looking at a comparable unit in the area at $[a hundred dollars less than our current rent]/month, so if your offer has any flexibility to come down on the rent, that would help us reach a decision about whether or not to renew our lease here” and the comparable unit exists only in my own beautiful mind
Actually, no! And since several people have replied asked for my script for negotiating lower rent, I’m gonna share that below, as well as the philosophy behind it. Full disclosure that I’m not a leasing office person or a realtor or god forbid, a landlord—I’m just someone who has been a renter for 10+ years across different states, and I know for a fact that I have saved myself thousands of dollars by successfully negotiating a lower monthly rent on almost every lease I’ve ever signed. (Also, I’ve only ever rented in the U.S., so this advice may not be as applicable elsewhere.)
THIS!!! Exactly this. I didn’t mention it above because I just couldn’t fit it neatly anywhere, but once while negotiating a lease renewal, I got as far as receiving their counteroffer, which was basically “price firm :(”, but then life happened, so I forgot to respond and accept. The email sat in my inbox for a week. And then, completely unprompted, they magically replied again saying, “actually, nvm, how’s $[number that is lower than our opening offer] sound?”
To them, it looked like I was staring them down cold as ice like
I was literally just busy with other stuff! and they were sweating!!! BULLETS!!!
long time no jasey toddie 🫦❤️🔥🏍️
You get transported into the universe of the last media you consumed. How are you doing?
This is better than my real life
I'm doing well
I'm doing fine
I'm not having a good time
I'm absolutely cooked
There is nothing different about this universe and my own
you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.
this is going around twitter rn but im also super curious: please tell me your top four comfort movies that you’re always down to watch bc my friend thinks mine are ridiculous and now we’ve realised everyone’s version of “comfort” is hilariously different
warren, son, is everything alright? x-men: the last stand
haha yeah man female dogs are bitchy and female horses are bitchy and female cats are bitchy and female ferrets are bitchy and female rats are bitchy and female guinea pigs are bitchy and female birds are bitchy and female rabbits are bitchy and female everything is bitchy. lol! isn’t it so funny how you think that! isn’t it so silly that this is your perception of literally every species! haha! i’m sure there’s nothing to unpack there! i’m sure you’re 100% accurate and unbiased in your conclusion that female animals are just inherently evil! i’m sure you have very normal thoughts about human women too! teehee! isn’t everyone laughing! isn’t it so goofy!
i wish drawing was a real thing that you could actually do
one time I saw a photo of a skinned whale/dolphin flipper on reddit or something and I've just never recovered
there's just. A paw in there.
One of the most spiritually profound moments of my life was when I was sixish and at a natural history museum with my parents that had a whale skeleton hanging from the ceiling.
I remember my dad picking me up to sit on his shoulders (possibly one of the last times he did that because I was getting too big to hold there for long) so I could be close to it's flipper because he wanted to show me something. He had me hold up my arm parallel to the whale's, and explained that we had the same bones, pointing to it's scapula and humerus and radius and ulna and so on while poking the same bones in my skinny little arm, all they way down to the tips of my fingers and it's own.
And in that moment, I could suddenly see how the whale and I were the same animal, just stretched and shrunk into different proportions by nature. There was an entire exhibit with skeletons of different animals and we went through all of them, picking out the hands and faces of all of them on myself.
I had never felt such a profound connection to the world around me before as I realized on a visceral level that not only was I related to all these creatures, they were very literally my distant cousins, and that in a way, they were me from back then and I was them from now, and we all were others still from the future.
Every living thing on earth is your cousin. The most distantly related humans are your 50th cousins. Chimps are your several thousandth cousins. An octopus is your 25 millionth cousin. Trees are your billionth cousins. You and I are surrounded by family. And that makes me feel profoundly loved.
So thanks dad, for pulling your shoulder a bit to show me that I am part of the universe. I love you too.
Not superstitious and not not superstitious but a third secret thing (read a lot of fairytales as a child and doesn't believe them but also would never be rude to a mountain while still on it just in case)
I've said it before but this is both the Icelandic and the Irish approach:
Of course we're modern educated people who don't believe in fairies
But we're also not gonna fuck with 'em, we're not idiots
Dean and Cas do freak4freak shit all the time like Dean feeding Cas water from his own mouth or Cas stripping Dean's clothes off for him after he gets thrown into a lake on a hunt while they have a normal conversation like Cas isn't arranging Dean's body like he owns it, and every time Sam tries to call them out for it, Dean just shrugs and is like "this is just what best friends do, you wouldn't know because you've never had a best friend, it's okay I never had one either until Cas, maybe one day" and Sam is like "that is NOT what best friends do!" But secretly he's like "god, maybe that IS best friends, how would I know, Dean's right, I never had one" and then Dean will stick his hands down Cas's pants because his fingers are cold and Sam will be like "I actually don't fucking want a best friend if that's what's involved"
out and about and my phone is at 15% battery: better not use it so it doesn’t die on me
5 minutes later: googling average gas mileage in 1950