Hail To The King

Charlie Hart | 28 | Destined for Greatness [RP blog for Wicked's Rest]

[zombiebabysitter]

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[zombiebabysitter]

Maybe I’ll throw an apple at you to show my appreciation. Glad to know this town didn’t reverse its weird around. How’ve you been, man?

[pm] Fucking… are you two STILL beefing? Also what’s the fuck do you mean house calls? What’s he doing to you?

[luckylockjaw]

Oh, you know... look around. That's about how I've been, too.

[pm] 'Course we are. It ain't so much what he's doin' to me... he was on some job, went to the wrong house. Or hell, I dunno, maybe the house itself lured him there. It was... alive. Tried to kill us for a few hours with shitty puzzles. Wonderkid didn't tell me he had a lighter until he'd nearly eaten shit about twenty times. Set the place on fire, got out, yadda yadda. You're welcome. Second time I've saved that genius' butt.

[zombiebabysitter]

Right.

[pm] So if I’m getting this right, he went to a sentient fucking house and nearly for himself killed. Why […] were you there, exactly? Where did you fit into this equation?

[zombiebabysitter]

Well if an apple said that, who am I to refuse the apple? Except there’s only one person who fulfills that need. ;) ;) ;)

You think it could be offensive? Shit, I don’t think about that. Ok, no shield. Really hate apples being thrown at my head though. So. Maybe it’s an inside kind of time. Oh no, more of me around you WHAT WILL YOU DO???

[animotoph0bia]

Well duh, I'm not flirting with you for someone else's benefit.

Feel like I saw someone say that catching them was offensive, maybe blocking them has the same effect? Please, I've had way too much 'Lucky and Finn' time, you won't be able to annoy me with too much presence. And if you somehow manage, I'll stock up on apples for throwing.

[zombiebabysitter]

God I hope not.

Guess that means we’re hiding inside from apple projectiles until the fall months are over. And I’ve had no Lucky and Finn time, which means I get to soak it all in. No, banned from apples.

[zombiebabysitter]

[pm] This is a “the worse the book is the better” kinda situation, right? Because I’m bad at actually reading a good book. My brain can’t focus. But bad, weird writing? Sign me the fuck up.

[necrosemancy]

[pm] I mean it depends on your definition of 'worse'. If you're looking for anything of deep intellectual value or philosophical discussion, I would not recommend this club.

[zombiebabysitter]

[pm] dude I should have failed all my high school classes. I’m definitely not here for intellectualism. Trust.

[highoctanegem]

Interesting! I do think Cell gives heinous and creepy too, but it's been like, a while since I watched, I could be wrong. My brother was the anime fan. Hey that's me! I'm always wondering, how can I have a gross time? I'll have to keep you posted if Xenomorph scratches that itch.

I feel like I should share a hear me out in return. I'm feeling the Iron Giant right now.

[zombiebabysitter]

I’m terrible with watching tv and anything remotely popular with how busy I always am. But the few things I have seen, I latch onto.

The Iron Giant? […] You know what, respect.

[animotoph0bia]

What are the odds on them just encouraging you to literally get fucked, though? Maybe that one was a nice apple, just crass and super inappropriate which your fans can definitely be. Shield sounds like a good idea but I don't know if that's offensive to the tradition. We'll have to look into it. Maybe a helmet to prevent brain damage, fuck knows you can't afford the loss of more brain cells. So throwing shit at you for no discernible purpose is still on the table, awesome.

[zombiebabysitter]

Well if an apple said that, who am I to refuse the apple? Except there’s only one person who fulfills that need. ;) ;) ;)

You think it could be offensive? Shit, I don’t think about that. Ok, no shield. Really hate apples being thrown at my head though. So. Maybe it’s an inside kind of time. Oh no, more of me around you WHAT WILL YOU DO???

[stardustonthebay]

You could use me as your PR protection. I'll bite people if they get too close. Maybe. Or throw paint at them.

[pm] Ugh it's so much Charlie. Also welcome back to 'it rains here now every day'.

[zombiebabysitter]

My personal ankle biter, I could be convinced.

[pm] Well, we can meet up if you want? Get out your feelings and such. Also the rain? I love, but not all the time. What’s the sun like? I miss it.

[necrosemancy]

[pm] are you famous if i haven't heard of you?

girl be so fucking for real your spotify most listened to does not include modern rock musicians don't be a bitch

You know what, fair enough. I'll be sure to tell any paparazzi that there are definitely no famous musicians in my spicy monster romance novel reading club.

[zombiebabysitter]

[pm] This is a “the worse the book is the better” kinda situation, right? Because I’m bad at actually reading a good book. My brain can’t focus. But bad, weird writing? Sign me the fuck up.

[chasseurdeloup]

I don’t know why the moose are flocking to town. If I did, I’d try to do something about it. And I’m not speaking for the moose, I’m speaking for Animal Control because it’s my job.

[zombiebabysitter]

What, you’re not the foremost moose expert of this town? That’s a shame. Also what’s with moose so loud I need earplugs? I’ve not heard that before.

[stardustonthebay]

CHARLIE YOU'RE HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is perhaps the best news I have gotten all week. Missed you!!! Got so much to catch you up on.

[zombiebabysitter]

I AM! I’ve done enough touring and press that I finally get a fucking BREAK from the PR nightmare my life has become. Me??? Finally get to process everything??? No, no.

Missed you too, Maggie. I missed a lot of people, honestly. Oh yeah? I’m all ears, I wanna know.

[animotoph0bia]

Are we even sure it's safe for you to be outside while it's 'send messages via very hard apples' season? Think plenty of people got shit to say to you and even if it's mostly positive it's still in the form of a projectile.

[zombiebabysitter]

Being famous and living in a town where apples can be chucked at you isn’t a good mix, you’re so right on that. Someone wrote on an apple that just said “get fucked” and honestly? Rude as fuck. Should I get a shield so I can fucking duck and cover when needed? Open to ideas. Also don’t you get any ideas, no throwing shit at me to tell me what’s on your mind.

[longislandcharm]

[Winter totally clocked him with an apple when she saw him for the first time.]

It's called tradition, Charles. Why are you back? I'm still mad at you. Maybe don't question it and move on.

[zombiebabysitter]

Wow, still icing me out I see. We’re still doing this. Cool. Good to know some things never change.

[necrosemancy]

:(

[pm] sneaky, sneaky, don't want to embrace monster romance on main?

[zombiebabysitter]

[pm] I’m a famous rockstar, the people can’t know the truth. They aren’t ready.

[luckylockjaw]

Welcome back, yeah it still sucks here.

[pm] Tell your boyfriend to stop makin' house calls, would ya? He's gonna get himself killed.

[zombiebabysitter]

Maybe I’ll throw an apple at you to show my appreciation. Glad to know this town didn’t reverse its weird around. How’ve you been, man?

[pm] Fucking… are you two STILL beefing? Also what’s the fuck do you mean house calls? What’s he doing to you?

[highoctanegem]

Hello beautiful person on my phone I haven't met yet. Yes. Just... Yes. This is the type of answer I signed up for. Beautiful, MWAH! My only Q would be, I've actually haven't seen any of the Alien movies, but one of my hear me outs would be Cell from DBZ. How... similar are the vibes? Should I be tuning in?

[zombiebabysitter]

The vibes are not similar. Xenomorphs? Heinous. Creepy. Horrific. Sign me the fuck up. If you like body horror and having an overall gross time, watch the Alien movies. I love them, but my friend Vik fucking HATED it.

[necrosemancy]

Are you an avid reader? Do you love a steamy romance? Do you love horror movies but always thought the monsters got a bad rap? Did you watch Shape of Water and scream ‘yas girl get it’ when she got freaky with the fish man? Did you watch that gargoyles show as a kid and want the big beefy stone men with wings to fly you away? Did you get phone calls from your local blockbuster with them begging you to return copies of Bram Stockers Dracula and The Lost Boys?

If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, then I have great news because I’m starting a book club because I scandalized the old bitties at the library who just wanted to read boring regular romances with the suggestion of ‘hugging’ a monster and they kicked me out of theirs. ! Message me for details! :)

[zombiebabysitter]

Everything about this is horrifying.

[pm] I'm in.

[highoctanegem]

I have a nice, community building Q for all the beautiful people on my phone. Who would be topping your "Hear me out" cake? I'm hoping for real bold answers, like... we all know Kovu from Lion King was hot, same with Gill the fish, move along. This is a safe space. And before you ask, but Jade, I don't have Google, what's a "Hear me out" cake? It's just about sharing your most embarrassing and unhinged crushes. Fictional or real. For example, let's say... someone somewhere (not naming names), might put Bill Nye in theirs.

[zombiebabysitter]

Xenomorphs. That's my hear me out. I will not take any feedback at this time.