Gavin woke up the next day around one in the afternoon, half panicked before he remembered Geoff had written him an excuse. He stretched and felt his back crack, taking a minute before getting up with a yawn. He stripped all his clothes off and walked into his bathroom to shower. He felt so gross, especially since he slept in his jeans and sweater.
Once Gavin was changed he made his way down the stairs, rings under his eyes. “Good afternoon, mom,” he said softly and poured himself a glass of juice.
“Good afternoon, sweetheart. Did you sleep alright? I’m sorry I wasn’t waiting up when you got home, it got too late. I saw the note Father Ramsey wrote for your teachers, though. What happened last night?” she prompted, talking, what felt like, so fast. It made his stomach nauseous.
Gavin sat at the kitchen table with his juice. “We had to do an anointing of sick to someone who was dying,” he mumbled and rubbed his forehead. “I'm not feeling super great, probably ‘cause I stayed up so late.” Gavin sipped his juice. “It's okay you didn't wait up, I was hoping you wouldn't ‘cause it was too late.”
“Tell Father Ramsey I say thank you for driving you home yesterday though, he’s always so thoughtful. I’m proud of you, honey.” She made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, setting it in front of him. The pit in his stomach felt like a snake balled up and making a den there, getting comfortable, it writhed slightly and made Gavin feel sicker. “Eat this and take your vitamins, you’ll feel better. You’ve earned a day off.”
Gavin sighed softly and picked up the sandwich. He didn’t have an appetite, his stomach was upset but he forced himself to eat the sandwich and take his vitamins. Gavin downed his juice and bit his bottom lip. “What're you doing today?” Gavin asked before scratching the back of his head and yawning. He was exhausted, and he wanted to just go upstairs and curl up in his bed.
“Well, your father and I are starting some marriage counselling tonight when he gets back from work… Help our communication skills. Neither of us believe in giving up on a marriage.” She sat at the kitchen table, noticing the tired look under Gavin’s eyes. Even though he slept for 10 hours, he looked like he hadn’t slept a wink. “Honey, you look pretty run down. You’re not getting sick are you?”
His mother’s voice sounded far away even though it wasn’t, the snake in his stomach unravelled.
Sick of fucking life, aren’t you? Sick of waiting around for a holy cock in your ass? The thoughts appeared in his head without warning, he didn’t know where they’d even come from but it was his own voice.
Gavin looked over at his mom and shook his head. “I don't think so… I could be. But I'm glad you and dad are getting counselling. Wish dad would talk to me,” he mumbled and bit his lip. “I think I might go lay down for a while. My stomachs not feeling too great.” As Gavin walked up the stairs he couldn’t help but think about the weird thoughts that had crossed his mind while he was sitting there with his mom.
Gavin laid on his bed and stretched, he closed his eyes and groaned. Just kill yourself faggot. No one but your mother wants you around. You're useless.
His head stung with a migraine, it almost shook his skull. “Shut up…” he mumbled under his breath. It felt so natural to be thinking these things, he had thoughts similar to it before but never this loud or graphic, but it didn’t feel out of place. He actually considered it, killing himself, just for a few seconds. He thought about hanging in the closet, but that thought didn’t feel natural and he snapped out of it. “The fuck…”
He was tired and almost a little scared. He wanted to be by Geoff where his thoughts could at least be quiet.
Gavin sat up and looked around his room. He felt he needed to go now, talk to him about what happened and what this thing was that was in Michael. Gavin stood and made his way down the stairs. “Mom, I'm gonna go see Father Ramsey,” he said as he put his shoes on. “I'll be back for dinner.”
Or will you. Fucking faggot. Why're you running to Geoff? You want him, don't you?
Gavin scratched his head roughly trying to shake out the thoughts.
“Okay honey, I'll see later. Say hello to Father Ramsey for me,” his mother replied as she walked over to the door.
Gavin took his bike and retreated towards the church, feeling like he might throw up or worse. He just needed somewhere to stop thinking, like in the shelter of a quiet chapel. It was exactly what he found on a Monday afternoon, only Geoff’s car was parked outside.
Maybe if you’re good, he’ll suck your cock. Or let you suck his, he told himself. Why was he even considering those things? It made him feel unholy.
“Father Ramsey?” he called out upon entering the church, out of breath from pedalling so fast.
The priest was in his black suit and white square tie, he came from his back office, looking surprised to see Gavin there. “Gavin, hello. Is something wrong?”
Gavin shrugged and raked his fingers through his hair. “I don't know. I just needed somewhere quiet…” he mumbled and bit his bottom lip. “Too many questions from my mom, and I've been having weird thoughts lately. But that's okay, they'll pass… Did you sleep at all?” he asked sheepishly and dug his hands into his pockets.
“Not very much… Seemed kind of impossible to after that.” Geoff crossed the aisle, getting a closer look at Gavin. He was sweating and still panting for breath. “Gavin, you don’t look so good. Come here.”
You can see his cock in his slacks. Look at the outline of that thing. Gavin’s gaze flickered downward for a split second, as if to check his own thoughts, but he quickly corrected himself.
Geoff got closer and put his hand on his sweaty forehead “Gavin, you’re burning up. Did you run all the way here or something? It’s not that hot in here…”
Gavin squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them. “No I just peddled really quick over here.” Gavin laughed and coughed slightly. “I'm okay. I'm sure I'm fine,” he mumbled and looked up at the man. He couldn't stops thinking about that thought that crossed his mind, why was he thinking these things? It didn't make any sense he never saw Geoff as anything more than just a priest ever, maybe he just wanted someone like Geoff to love him and care for him.
“You're really clammy, Gavin, come lie down on the sofa. I'll get you some water.” He took Gavin’s arm and lead him towards his office, sitting him down on the couch in front of his desk. “Just catch your breath.” He pushed the hair out of Gavin’s face and pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, wiping away the sweat before he went to get a bottle of water.
Gavin leaned back against the couch, he didn't understand what was going on. Why did he feel so shitty? What was happening? Gavin took the bottle of water from Geoff when he came back. “Thanks, I don't understand what's going on. Maybe I'm just getting sick.” Gavin took a drink from the bottle and almost finished it.
You’re already sick. You get hot just from looking at that priest.
“Do you need to go to the hospital? It has to be some kind a fever.” Geoff knelt by the couch to get a better look at Gavin, pressing a cold towel from the washroom to his forehead. “Does anything else hurt? Sore throat, stomach ache?” For some reason when the priest inquired about his health it made him melt and get nervous, it felt good to have Geoff looking after him this closely.
Gavin leaned into the touch and sighed. “No, just have a stomachache and a headache. It's okay. I'm sure I'm fine not enough sleep,” he mumbled and ran his fingers through his hair. Why was he suddenly thinking these thoughts? What the fuck was wrong with him?
Geoff pulled a quilt off the back of the couch and laid it over Gavin’s frail frame. “Maybe you should take a nap… where someone can look out for you. Does that sound alright?” He checked Gavin’s temperature with the back of his hand again before reapplying the towel. “I’ll wake you and bring you to the hospital if your temperature doesn’t go down.”
Gavin wasn’t sure why but he was afraid to fall asleep again, he kept thinking about Michael in the room.
Gavin nodded and laid out on the couch. “Okay, thank you. I don't really know if I'm up to taking nap. But I'll try,” Gavin sighed and looked at Geoff. “I'm sorry for being a burden.” He bit his inner bottom lip and curled up on the couch.
Look he's looking out for you, maybe you'll get a big wet kiss, then a big thick cock in your ass.
Geoff walked behind his desk and sat down, still keeping close watch on Gavin. “You're not a burden, Gavin. I consider you a faithful boy and, well, a friend. Try to recuperate.”
Gavin tried, he closed his eyes and easily found himself grow weary. He was asleep within a minute, falling deeper and deeper into rest. A sleep like death.
“I can set you free.” It was his own voice, and when he opened his eyes he was alone again in a stripped down, empty church. There was only the couch in Geoff’s office now but the room still smelled like old wood. It was so real.
He sat up, trying to focus his vision to where he'd heard himself. A naked mirror image of himself was standing there in front of him.
Gavin looked at the thing that was standing there, what the fuck was going on? “Who're you?” Gavin mumbled and looked around the room, “am I dreaming? Where's Father Ramsey?” Gavin stood and looked at the naked figure in front of him. “What is going on here? Who are you? I demand to know!”
“I'm you.” The figure stepped over to him, smiling almost out of amusement. “Don't you get it? I'm the you you've been fighting for so long… But guess what, you don't have to fight yourself any more.” He wrapped his arms around Gavin’s shoulders, embracing him close and pushing his face to Gavin’s neck. “It's such good news… You just have to let go, and let me in.” The figure, it couldn't be him, Gavin was nothing like this, he sunk his searing hot hand into Gavin’s chest, straight through his clothes, and squeezed his fingers around Gavin’s thumping heart.
Gavin cringed and cried out in pain. Gavin's head was spinning, he didn't understand what was going on. What was this thing that was touching him? “Stop it! Please? What the fuck do you mean? I'm not fighting anything!” Gavin pushed against the figures chest. “Don't touch me!” Gavin screamed as he squeezed his eyes shut. Where was Geoff?
“You've been fighting me for so long,” the other Gavin raised his voice and gripped tighter, knocking the breath out of his chest like a sucker punch. He was smiling at Gavin’s anguish, the only thing keeping him on his feet was the firm grip. “But here's the best news, you don't even have a choice. You can't hold on any longer.”
When Gavin cried out, the mirror image leaned in and captured his open mouth in a soul sucking kiss. His tongue slid all the way down his throat like a snake and he was right, Gavin couldn't keep a grip on his body. It was ripped from him, and suddenly he was sitting in a fully empty, locked, dark chapel. Alone.
In his mind’s eye, he could see himself waking up from his nap in Geoff’s office. Seeing it, feeling the air in his lungs, but he had no jurisdiction. No control.
Gavin tried to scream at the top of his lungs but he couldn’t. What was going on? He was so fucked.
Geoff was sitting behind his desk scribbling on his paper in front of him. He was watching the boy as he slept, and he couldn't help it, he was worried about the boy.
“How long have I been asleep?” Gavin asked softly and he rubbed his eyes, “feels like it's been forever.” He yawned and stretched out on the couch, shirt rising up his stomach. “I'm feeling kinda hungry now, I didn't eat breakfast.”
Geoff looked up from his desk, taking off the reading glasses. The tan flash of skin caught his eyes but he quickly looked up at Gavin in concern. “Are you feeling alright? You’ve been asleep for… um, about five hours. It’s past lunchtime, I’m sure you are hungry. I am too. Do you want to go into town for lunch or go home?”
Gavin looked over at Geoff and smiled. “I’d love to go out to town and have lunch.” He sat up and stretched again. “What do you wanna get to eat? We should get subs, I’m feeling a sandwich.” Gavin stood and leaned on Geoff’s table. “Five hours is a long time. What’ve you been doing while I was out?”
Geoff couldn’t help be but put off. Gavin was lying on the couch burning with sickness a few hours ago, now there wasn’t a bead of sweat on his temple. “Are you sure you’re feeling better? I almost drove you to the hospital this morning… You don’t seem sick now.” He got out of his chair and felt Gavin’s forehead, average, healthily warm skin was under his fingers. “Maybe we should still get you checked out. I’ve just been going through some letters from the ministry.”
Gavin shook his head. “No! I'm okay. Let's just get some food. Like I said I was probably just tired and didn't get enough sleep. I promise I'm feeling better.” Gavin took Geoff's hand and pulled gently. He smiled softly, he couldn't believe how easy this was gonna be. It was gonna be amazing to get this to happen. He was going to get everything he's been wanting for a long time.
“Ah, okay…” Geoff was hesitant to hold Gavin’s hand for too long but he let Gavin drag him out of the building. It felt like he hadn't personally connected to another person at all since he'd become a priest. And he couldn't help but admit it felt kind of nice.
The two of them got into his car and Geoff drive towards the downtown area. He paused and loosened the white collar of his uniform, not sure if he should be making a habit out of hanging with Gavin outside of church even if he did enjoy it. Maybe it was worse that he enjoyed it.
“Um, where do you want to eat, Gavin? There's a firehouse grill and sub place by the theater that's good.”
Gavin looked at Geoff and nodded. “Yes Father, that sounds perfect.” Gavin leaned and touched the priests thigh. “Should we really be hanging out this much? What if someone asks about us?” Gavin squeezed the man’s thigh and moved his hand up a little higher. “I'm glad I met you though Father Ramsey, I'd probably be fucked up and in the hospital. Also, mom and dad are getting counselling.”
“Don't.” Geoff caught his hand in alarm, looking like he didn't quite know what to do. “I'm not used to it. You shouldn't be touching me though… It's not appropriate. It's not as if us going out to eat on a Sunday is inappropriate though. If it makes you uncomfortable, we don't have to.” Geoff himself was feeling more uncomfortable the more he talked, Gavin kept peering at him, he could feel it. “Um, why don't I just drop you off at your home? I'm aware your parents are, I'll be the priest to advise them.”
Gavin sat back in his seat and crossed his arms. “Whatever. I mean if you'd rather not go out to have food with me. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I didn't think that's what you were thinking.” He sighed, “I mean I don't have any friends that wanna really hang out. So just take me home if you want. I won't hold it against you…” Gavin looked out the window and ran his fingers through his hair.
Geoff clenched his jaw, internally reprimanding himself. He couldn't take out his own insecurities on the boy, it would just make things look worse on him. “I'm sorry, Gavin… I misunderstood. I know you don't mean it like that, and I really like hanging out with you. You know I don't have a whole lot of friends myself anymore either, after joining the ministry.” They neared the downtown restaurant area, ironically passing by another distinguished chapel on their way. Gavin glared at its front doors when they zoomed by. “What, don't like Episcopalians?” Geoff teased.
Gavin looked over at Geoff and chuckled. “No, they're too fancy. Fancy Catholics.” Gavin stretched and yawned as they pulled up to the restaurant. “I can't wait to eat, I'm starving.” He jumped out of the car once Geoff had parked and ran towards the doors with Geoff in tow. “C’mon!”
They sat in a small booth closer to the back and out of sight from most of the other customers. Gavin sat down and opened the menu that was on the table.
A young waitress came over to take their drink orders, Geoff ordered a coffee but Gavin ordered a milkshake he demanded they'd split. “This place has huge cups, I won't be able to drink it by myself!”
“Ahm, sure. Could I have the Rotisserie sub and two glasses of water too? Thank you.” He handed back the menu.
“And I'll have the meatball sub, toasted, with extra cheese,” Gavin smiled as he handed back the menu. He couldn't wait to eat the sub, or drink the milkshake. Gavin lifted his foot up and set it on the bench between Geoff's legs, and looked around the restaurant nonchalantly. He turned back to look at Geoff who looked white as a ghost. “What's up?”
Geoff straightened out his back and sat stiff as a board, not waving to move and accidentally brush against Gavin’s foot. “Nothing. I'm just really hungry.”
The waitress came back with their drinks and Geoff took a long drink of water, trying not to let his intrusive thoughts seem apparent. There was nothing sexual about this and he couldn't make it seem like that's what he was thinking.
“I'll be counseling your parents starting this week… Michael should be getting back to school today too.”
Gavin shook his head. “I don't want Michael back at school. He's gonna start back up bullying me…” He huffed and crossed his arms causing his foot to brush against the front of the man's pants. Gavin played it off like he didn't notice.
Gavin took a sip of his milkshake, making his foot rub against Geoff slightly, making it seem like he didn't mean to, or he didn't notice what he was doing. “So do you think mom and dad will be able to get over what happened?”
Geoff curled his hands into tight fists under the table, hesitating before he pushed Gavin’s foot away. “Um, don’t. Please…” He moved over so Gavin could put his foot there instead. “Thank you. I think there’s plenty of hope for your parents, granted that they’re seeking help. That means they care enough about each other to, which makes me think they’ll be fine… Will you be able to get over what happened though?”
Gavin kept moving his foot and sighed. “No probably not. I mean my dad still hasn't talked me he since he beat the piss outta me.” Gavin bit his bottom lip and sat up a little making his foot fall down. “He's never even apologized. I mean maybe he thinks I’m a faggot and doesn't want to talk to me. Whatever. Maybe he's right, maybe I'm just a faggot.” Gavin took a sip of his milkshake and kept his eyes averted from Geoff.
“G-Gavin, you’re, you need to move your foot.” The brush against the front of his pants felt like a stroke to Geoff, he had managed to avoid touching himself for eight months and even the slightest touch made him twitch. Priests weren’t allowed to jerk off at all, yet sometimes it got to the point where Geoff was forced to relieve himself. It was the most bothersome itch that he could never scratch. He had to redirect his thoughts but it was too late, he was becoming engorged with blood as if he was some teenager. And Geoff wanted it so fucking badly. “You need to act appropriately if we spend time outside the church together.”
Gavin looked at Geoff and pulled his foot away and set it on the floor in front of him. “You still thinking I'm teasing you? Really?! I'm not a faggot, I can't believe you would think that!” He crossed his arms and huffed, “Wow… I'm acting appropriately, you're not. Maybe we shouldn't hang out outside of church then if it's too hard for you to keep your pervy hands off of me.”
Geoff inhaled sharply and felt his gut curl with guilt. Gavin was right, he was a good kid. An altar boy, he always wanted what was best for his family even at his own expense. Geoff felt like he had to be the one making this uncomfortable.
“I-I’m, I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m not comfortable with this,” he stated. “Not your fault. I, this wasn’t a good idea.” Geoff wanted to leave but he didn’t want Gavin to see him. He pulled his black jacket down and buttoned it up, trying to conceal the front of his pants somewhat. “I’ve got to go. Help yourself to the food.”
He stood up and quickly exited the diner, leaving forty crumpled bucks on the table. He felt so perturbed, shaken, Geoff had managed to keep his thoughts under wraps until now. Gavin wouldn’t even have a ride home if he left but Geoff couldn’t stay in there.
Gavin sighed and stayed in the booth. “Hey, can I get the subs to go? Something came up,” Gavin asked the waitress. He couldn't believe this, he needed to go and apologize to Geoff, he didn’t feel bad but he should’ve lashed out. By the time he came outside with the food, Geoff’s car was long gone.
So he walked all the way from the restaurant back to the church so he could give Geoff his sub. Though he paused outside of the priest’s closed office, what if Geoff didn't want to see him? What if he was still pissed off?
Geoff was surprised to hear a knock on his office door, the door was locked when Gavin tried to open it and Geoff panicked. He had his cock hard in his fist underneath the desk, even the knock on the door couldn’t stop him from stroking. He needed to indulge just once more.
“D-Don’t come in!” he shouted out. “Go away, I’m on an important, phone call.” His precum slid under his and he jerked off faster, moaning silently.
“I-I just wanted to apologize, I didn't mean to get so nasty with you at the diner. I was just bringing you the sub you paid for. I can leave it on the door handle if you want,” Gavin mumbled as he pressed his forehead against the door. “And I'll leave you alone forever now. I'll only see you at mass.”
Geoff gripped the edge of his desk, trying to even out his voice. “Uh, leave it out there. It's not your fault. I-I like having you around I just had an off day.” He didn't know why he liked listening to Gavin’s voice so much but he couldn't keep doing this. He didn't want to think about how Gavin’s voice turned him on to hear when he was like this.
“But you made it out to be my fault… I mean if it's too much to hang out with me I can leave you alone. It's fine…” Gavin mumbled softly and ran his fingers through his hair. “I guess I'll leave you to your important call,” Gavin set the sub on the door handle and looked at the other bag. He was starving and he didn't know if he could wait till he got home to eat it.
Geoff crumpled over his desk, feeling his orgasm coming on and biting off a quiet moan. He couldn’t stop stroking his fist, it felt like trying to hold off an avalanche. He couldn’t even open his mouth to respond to Gavin, he knew his voice would come out too broken. It hit him so suddenly and he was coming underneath his desk, spurts of white stuck and dripped off the wood. “O-Oh fuck,” he panted and pressed his face against the desk calendar, knocking over a bin of pencils by accident.
Gavin moved away from the door and ran his fingers through his hair. He sat on the floor, thinking Geoff wanted nothing do with him. He didn't answer him at all and he felt really shitty. He considered Geoff one of his closest friends, Gavin didn't want to be here anymore but he felt frozen in place, like his limbs didn't want to work, and his head hurt. Everything was too much for him. Geoff didn't want to hang out, his father wouldn't speak to him, and on Monday Michael would be back in school demon-free.
Meanwhile Geoff was abhorred, mortified. He stumbled out of the chair, almost tripping as he shoved his cock back in his pants and zipped them. “S-Sorry, Gavin. I really had to take that call.” He shook his head and grabbed a handful of tissues, cleaning off his knuckles and trying to wipe his cum off from the bottom of the desk.
He threw the crumpled tissues into the wastebin and internally berated himself. He hadn’t just masturbated for the first time in almost a year but he did it in the fucking chapel.
He fixed his hair and unlocked the office door. “You don’t have to eat on the floor, sorry. I shouldn’t have bailed back there. Just thought, maybe I was making you uncomfortable.”
Gavin looked up at Geoff, “I wasn't the one that the took off like a bat outta hell for no reason. If I make you uncomfortable then I don't have to be around.” He held out the bag with Geoff's sub in it. “Here. You paid for it you may as well eat it.” Gavin stood up at looked Geoff up and down. “Y’know, I think I'll just go home. I don't wanna make you uncomfortable…” He huffed and crossed his arms.
Geoff shook his head again, stepping out of his office. “No, you don't… We just need to keep an ample amount of space between us. We can still eat together. I'm sorry, let’s go eat in the backroom. I won't strand you again,” he laughed airily. “I guess I panicked.”
He took the bag from Gavin and lead him into the altar boy backrooms, where there was a small sofa, a few chairs, and a coffee table to eat on.
“How about we forget today happened?” The priest offered, really wanting to forget what happened himself. He was still buzzing from his orgasm, it felt like he could finally breathe again. He was so relaxed, sated, and guilty.
Gavin nodded and sat on the floor. “We can forget it. And I'll make sure keep lots of space between us.” Was Geoff gay? Or was he just hard up for any contact that it didn't matter who it came from? Gavin had so many questions, but he figured he'd just keep them to himself. He wouldn't gain anything from asking. Gavin laid the sub on the table and unrolled it, picking up half and taking a big bite and Geoff did the same.
Geoff was starting to calm down, feel kind of sleepy. That had all but knocked the wind out of him. The two of them ate in a not so uncomfortable silence. “Are you ready to resume school tomorrow?” he asked after a moment. “I’m sure it won’t be easy to see Michael again.”
Gavin shook his head and swallowed the food in his mouth. “No I'm not ready for school or to see Michael again. I know he doesn’t like me and I know he'll be back to teasing me,” Gavin huffed and ran his fingers through his hair. He didn't really wanna think about seeing Michael again at school, the two weeks he was gone was the most amazing two weeks he'd had at school.
“He ought to kiss your feet and thank you,” Geoff retorted. “You saved his life from whatever foul thing was in him.” He briefly remembered the images of Michael’s warped, pale body. Gavin felt a flare of fire in him. “He sustained a few hairline fractures but I heard he’ll be back in as soon as possible to make up work.” He was trying to make small talk as they ate but Gavin still looked almost irked.
Gavin clenched his teeth. “Yeah he ought to. But he won't.” He kept eating not really wanting to say anything else. Gavin was annoyed but he couldn't let Geoff know. “I'm not excited for him to be back at school. He's an asshole…” he mumbled.
“How have you been feeling since that night? I know you were kind of alarmed still when I dropped you off at home,” the priest said. He had finished most of his sub, also not extremely hungry but trying to be polite. He threw the rest of his away and got a soda from the fridge, tossing one to Gavin too. “Do you remember?”
Gavin looked up at the priest and shook his head. “No, I don’t really remember…” he mumbled as he tried to rack his brain over what he could be talking about. “Oh! It was the dream I had when I was knocked out. Yeah I guess I’m okay…” Gavin said softly before he sighed wrapped up the end of the sub that had nothing in it. He flicked the top of the pop can to make sure it wouldn’t fizz up and cover him in sticky liquid. Gavin opened the can and took a sip, “I’m just tired… But how do you feel after doing your first exorcism?”
Geoff shrugged cluelessly. “How am I supposed to feel? I sure hope it doesn't become a habit… That was gruesome.” He loosened his collar again. “I'm just glad no one else got hurt.” He did have an unsettled feeling in his gut, maybe it was the food, maybe the sin he'd just committed, or the fact he's committed it to the sound of his altar boy’s voice. He was uneasy. “We should probably get the chapel prepared for Mass.”
Gavin sighed and nodded. “I guess so. Hopefully it won't happen again. Why would Michael have become possessed? Is there a reason? Or do we know why?” He asked as he looked at the man's hands, noticing that his tattoos were visible. He wished he could see more of the ink that covered the man's skin, something about it made him want to touch it and trace the black lines.
“Some priests think there are demons in all of us… I may think that too, I’m not sure. But some demons just get touched by Lucifer, take you over. Some souls aren’t strong enough to keep their inner demons at bay.” He looked down at his lap, noticing the makeup had rubbed off his tattoos. Geoff couldn’t keep everything from his past covered up like ink. “Um, I should wash my hands and redo these… You can start lighting the candles.”
He got up and walked back towards his office, where there was a small adjoining bathroom. He had to clean off the fucking bottom of his desk too. He couldn’t let his demons win.
Gavin got up and walked around the chapel, lighting all candles as Geoff directed. Gavin wanted so badly to join Geoff in his office, push off his priest garments and take in the sight of Geoff's body, covered in the dark black lines and bright shading of the tattoos. He bet Geoff’s hair got messy when he pulled his shirt off over his head. Gavin touched the front of his jeans and gave his cock a squeeze, making him groan a little, he couldn't do this now. Gavin stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked back towards the back room, touching his cock gently.
The church put constraints on his energy, Gavin was still trapped looking through his own eyes but within the chapel everything felt more sensitive. Gavin’s skin tingled, the air always felt brisk on him, he could breathe deeply but somehow felt more pent up. The aura of the chapel always tried to constrain his wanton thoughts but that only provoked Gavin to feel badder.
Geoff washed his face and covered his knuckles in a new layer of concealer, feeling worn down after this day. He was too nervous to go find Gavin in the chapel, a large part of him didn’t trust his own demons.
Gavin pulled his hands out of pockets and bit his bottom lip. He sat in the back room and tried to settle down. He felt like he wasn't in control here, he needed to get some control back. He didn't like seeing everything from inside this dark chapel, he couldn't even scream.
Gavin roamed into Geoff’s quiet office and looked at the man. “All the candles are lit. Do you need anything else?” He walked up to Geoff, getting in his personal space.
Geoff leaned away slightly, maybe even unconsciously. “N-No, that’s plenty. Thank you for the help.” He sat at his desk and shuffled through the letters under his lamp, making sure he hadn’t missed any. The Church sure hated e-mails. “Have you been feeling alright since earlier? I almost drove you to the hospital for how sick you looked.”
“Yeah I'm okay… Just have a headache,” Gavin mumbled and laid back down on the couch. “I'm feeling… I don't know pent up, I guess…” He mumbled and placed his hand on the front of his jeans, squeezing tightly. “I'm tired still. I feel weird like things just aren't working for me.”
“What kind of things?” Geoff glanced up from his desk, noticing the thicker bulge in Gavin’s pants. His stomach curled into knots. “Um, Gavin. I don't think…” He didn't know what to say, his mouth went dry with nerves.
Gavin looked over at Geoff. “Life, school, personal things, a bunch of shit doesn't feel like it's going right for me.” Gavin rubbed his palm against the bulge that was growing slowing in his jeans. “Hm… I'm tired.” Gavin looked Geoff up and down and he looked like he had seen a ghost. He was pale and he was staring at Gavin's crotch, he could see it plainly and something about that satisfied Gavin.
Geoff took out his bible like some nervous schoolboy and flipped to some of the passages he’d had saved. He had to ignore it.
“W-What I find helpful when I’m in disarray is turning to God, Gavin. Sometimes you need to give everything you have to Him, bathe in the purity of his light. Delving from temptation is easily one of God’s most sacred values. So when you find yourself feeling lost, you will stray from sin until you find God again.” Geoff was rambling, he could hear himself rambling, but he couldn’t stare at Gavin any longer. It had to be an accident, Gavin was a teenager, he was sure it happened all the time.
Gavin hummed softly and sighed. “Yeah? What if it doesn't help? What if… I can't help myself? What if everything just…” He trailed off and sucked in a deep breath, still palming over himself. “What if it's something God doesn't approve of? What if it's frowned upon in the bible?” Gavin hissed and tipped his head back. “Oh… Geoff…” He half moaned.
“W-What’re you doing?” The priest demanded, almost crumpling one of the leaf thin bible pages. His voice almost got stuck in his throat. “You can’t do this here. This is a house of… God.” Geoff had almost forgotten His name. “You need to find the Lord and curb this. Please…” Geoff couldn’t stop staring at Gavin’s hand, curled around the outline of his cock through his tan slacks. He was suddenly vehemently aware that Gavin had a cock, and wanted to do this in front of Geoff. The way Gavin said his name saturated his brain. “You can’t do this here.”
Gavin looked over at the priest. “Oh no? Why not Fa-Father? Haven't you ever done it before?” Gavin asked and wiggled his hips slightly. “Oh sh-shit…” He hissed and bit his bottom lip. “You gonna try and stop me? C’mon Father, I know you want to…”
Gavin couldn't believe what was happening, what the thing in his body was making him do, he was terrified of what the priest would think of him.
“What're you saying?” Geoff’s voice came out embarrassingly hoarse. He cleared his throat and realized he couldn't stand again, he was already stiff in his black priest pants. What was getting into him? He hadn't even felt it until he was horny. “N-No, I’d never do such a thing! Get out of my office if that's what you think, that's disgusting. Inappropriate.” He closed the bible harshly. “You don't have to attend mass tonight, I think you should go.”
Gavin sat up and looked at the priest. “C’mere and make me. Unless you're just as hard as I am,” Gavin laughed and squeezed his cock again. “I can help you with that, if you'd like?” Gavin smirked as he stood up, walking over to the desk and standing in front of the priest. “I want you Geoffrey. So bad… now.” He rubbed his thick cock against the side of the desk “I think you should touch me, and I'll return the favor.”
The priest’s eyes widened in shock, hesitation, he knew. “Y-You're not Gavin. You can't be. Gavin would never act like this,” he whispered. “Get out! Y-You have to get out!”
People were starting to fill into the chapel for the service, Geoff was so fucked. He couldn't just bail or worse be caught yelling at his altar boy in this kind of a situation.
“Leave. Now,” he said through clenched jaw.
“Why won't you stand up and make me? Cause you're hard under the desk aren't you? Being celibate for 16 years takes a lot out of you, eh?” Gavin said softly and leaned in close to Geoff's face. “Don't punish the boy, he's done nothing wrong. You're the one who’s done wrong Geoffrey, you know your past, you shouldn't be sitting there. Especially cause of what's going on under the desk,” Gavin smiled widely gesturing to the desk, as he turned to walk away. “I'll see you tomorrow Father.”
Geoff could barely breathe, he still felt Gavin’s breath on his cheek and he couldn't gasp until Gavin had coyly sauntered out of his office. “Oh my god.” He clenched his fists and firmly squeezed his erection, trying to calm down. He didn't have the time.
It felt like everything was crashing down around him. Where had Gavin gone? Geoff had never gotten rid of the demon, worse he knew now that there actually were demons to fear. And they knew about his past indulgences.
He went to the bathroom, forcing himself together before the mass could start and then hurriedly going through the ceremony. He just had to get home before anything else could go wrong. The darkness in Gavin’s eyes wouldn’t leave him.
At home Gavin laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling, smiling. This was phenomenal, he was proud of himself, free, enjoying life again. He caused the priest to crack, it wouldn't take long until he was making Geoff touch himself to the thought of him, and the priest would want him. He was gonna cause the man to crack entirely, and make him fuck this vessel he was in.
The thought of taking Geoff’s virtue enthralled him, even gave him pleasure to think about. He could thrive off that misfortune and turn another man of God into a sinful wreck.
He could feel Gavin’s feeble nails scratching on the stained glass windows of his own mind and it caused him to laugh. He could feel everything the boy felt, the pain, the fear, the embarrassment, but what he felt more than anything was the want. “You want that priest’s cock anyway, don’t you? You jerk off to the thought of him deep in your ass. I’ll make all your dreams come true… You’ve got a nice little body to work with, anyway.”
He stretched out on the bed, sated and content, enjoying every minute of his new found freedom. He would have fun.
Gavin stopped by the chapel every day the next 3 days after school, knowing the priest was scared. Geoff had called off masses until the next weekend, the choir director said it was because he was sick and then Gavin knew he had really shaken the priest’s cage.
“Oh no!” Gavin frowned in concern, standing by the choir’s stairs. “I hadn’t heard he was… It must be pretty bad for him to cancel the whole week. Do you know if he’s at the hospital?”
She shook her head in exasperation. “I don’t know honestly, he called from his house number. But he picked an awful time to get sick, right before Easter! If you see him before me, could you hand him some papers for me? I think the bishop was trying to get in contact with him.” She dug around her purse for the folded up pages.
Gavin looked at the woman and nodded. “Of course!” he said as he took the papers and stuck them in his backpack. “Thank you!” Gavin smiled and turned to leave. He knew where his next stop was.
Gavin rode his bike casually into Geoff’s neighborhood, remembering the address. He'd keep himself under control, he had to make Geoff trust him but he always wanted to get the priest off. He wanted to break him, make him want this kid more than anything. The thought of breaking the priest made him horny and he laughed softly.
He could feel Gavin freaking out and could hear him screaming at him. He didn't care. This was what the boy wanted.
“Father Ramsey?” Gavin knocked on the front door, chewing on his lip nervously. “Are you there?”
The house was quiet for a few moments but he heard the scuttling around behind the door, eye pressed to the monocle of the purple door.
“Father Ramsey? The choir’s been worried about you.”
“Go home, Gavin,” Geoff responded to him immediately, voice muffled. “You’re sick… You need to go to the church and pray this thing away. You need to leave me alone.” He didn’t sound so confident.
Gavin furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion. “What are you talking about Geoff? I'm here to give you the papers the choir had for you.” He fished the papers out of his backpack and held them up. “See! Please just open the door. I don't know what I did wrong…” Gavin mumbled and ran his fingers through his hair. “I'm sorry if I did something wrong, but I don't know what you're talking about. Me being sick…”
Geoff hesitated, not yet unlocking the door as he looked at the papers through the peephole. “I… I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be showing up at my house anyway.” He had to try and remain firm, but he didn’t want to ruin Gavin’s self esteem by calling his emotions sick. Why did he have this crazy idea that Gavin was anything but a normal teenager? He wasn’t even sure if he believed in the physical reality of demons in the first place, there had to be some rationalization. “You’re not sick, Gavin… I didn’t mean that. Just, leave the papers out there.”
Gavin sighed and set the papers down. “Fine whatever.” He turned and walked over to his bike. “Y’know if you don't like me or want me as your altar boy, I can stop. I could have better things to do.” He slung his backpack onto his back and cracked his knuckles as he bit his bottom lip. “Guess you can find a new altar boy. I thought you were different. Like you understood me, I guess I was wrong.”
Geoff rubbed his palm against his face from behind the door, sighing a little. He unlocked the front door and pulled it open. “Gavin, wait…” He bent down to pick up the papers, feeling rather foolish like he’d been spooked by some Halloween prank. “It’s not that I don’t like you… I don’t need any other altar server. Please, just come in. I’ll make you some tea… I’ve been having a rather stressful few days. I’m the crazy one.”
Gavin looked at Geoff and cast his eyes down on the sidewalk. “Are you sure? ‘Cause you seemed pretty insistent about me not coming in. Obviously I've disturbed your peaceful life. I should just go…” Gavin mumbled and pulled his bottom lip into his mouth. “I'm just making your life harder. Obviously I'm not good for you.” He put his hands in his pockets. “Just forget it. I'll tell my mom that I wasn't up to par and that's why I had to leave.”
“No more talk of that,” Geoff waved him off and walked down the sidewalk, leaning Gavin’s bike against the tree. “You’re a prime altar server. And, I’ve really enjoyed having gotten to know you. It’s not often that priests make real friends. I’m sorry for overreacting, do you want some tea?”
Gavin looked up at the priest and nodded. “That would be nice yes. I'm still sorry…” He mumbled softly and followed Geoff into his house. It was perfect, the priest had all but cordially invited him into his house. Maybe he should hang off and just stay low. But he wanted to crack the priest so bad.
He didn’t get to see Geoff outside of his uniform that often, especially not in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. Gavin wanted him, it was torture to prolong it.
“Have a seat, I was just brewing a pot before you came…” Geoff put the papers down on his kitchen table. “How was getting back to school? Did you run into Michael there yet? I apologize for being rather MIA, been having some personal problems…”
Gavin sat down at the kitchen table and looked at the man. He was going to make this man crumple, make him want him. “I haven't run into him yet, and I'm hoping I never do. I don't want to be bullied by the asshole I helped save,” Gavin huffed and crossed his arms. “What kind of personal problems? If you don't mind me asking,” he said as he kept his eyes on the front of the man’s sweatpants. Soon he would be his.
Geoff poured a cup of tea for Gavin and some old, cold coffee for himself. He felt like he really had to wake up. “I don't know. Who does a priest confess to other than God?” he laughed lightly and put the mugs on the table. “I guess I've just been thinking about my past a lot. Things I regret. Even when I'm supposed to have been forgiven, sometimes God still reprimands me. Do you want something to eat? I haven't made breakfast yet…”
Gavin smiled softly and shook his head. “It's okay, Geoff, what's got you thinking?” he asked and took the cup, taking a sip. “Thanks for being here with me, I'm sorry if I intrude in your life…” Gavin mumbled softly as he ran his fingers through his hair. Fuck, he needed this man so bad, he could just eat all the tattoos up and down his arms. Gavin could feel his cock twitch to life, holy fuck he needed this so much.
Geoff sat down with him at the round kitchen table. “It's not like I have anyone else to talk to… I wasn't always a good kid. That's all. Before I joined the brotherhood, I had a lot of substance abuse problems. Sometimes it gets to me even today when I'm stressed out.” He crossed his legs and looked over at Gavin, catching his stare for only a second. “I never told the ministry that. I didn't know if they'd let me pursue priesthood.”
Gavin looked up at the man's face and then back to his brightly coloured tattoos. “Does it really? Do you really wanna go back to the drugs though?” He asked and held onto his mug. “I like being around you… You make me feel easy about life.” Gavin said softly, “I'm sorry if I make things harder on you…” Gavin mumbled and ran his fingers through his hair.
“You don't, Gavin,” he assured. “Of course I don't want to go back to that. That was the worst time in my life and it took so much for me to get away from it… Sometimes even having a friend around has made it easier for me too.” He drank his coffee. “Sorry for unloading onto you, though.”
Gavin looked at the man and smiled. “Don't worry about it, I don't mind.” He looked at the man’s arms, tracing the outsides of the ink with his eyes, the ink contoured his biceps and his muscles show. Gavin closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. The demon could feel the real Gavin's eyes glued the to man's biceps, staring at the ink. He could feel Gavin’s want, and the demon wanted it as well.
Geoff smiled at him and leaned on his elbow. “You sure you aren’t hungry? I just bought some groceries the other day.” He noticed the way the boy was staring. “Oh, my tattoos? Sometimes I forget they’re still there.”
Gavin looked back at Geoff. “Yeah, sorry. They're just… Really colorful, and nice. Sorry for staring.” Gavin blushed, and looked down into his coffee. “I like the compass one, it's really nice…” Gavin tried to sound less embarrassed but it wasn't working. He wanted the priest to wrap his arms around him and pull him in close, kiss him.
“Oh, yeah… I used to get a lot of tattoos when I was drunk or loaded, don’t really even remember when or where I got them.” He looked down at his arms, running his hands over his forearms. “What about you, do you ever want tattoos? They hurt to get, I don’t recommend getting them the way I did.”
Gavin nodded and smiled brightly. “I do want some tattoos.” He moved to sit a little closer by Geoff and touched the tattoos, tracing the compass on his arm and then the thick black rectangles higher on his bicep. “What does it feel like? I love the look of them, the color is beautiful,” Gavin said softly as he looked at the other tattoos on his forearm and on the top of his hands and fingers. “I think they're nice…”
Geoff felt embarrassed when his arms prickled into goosebumps. He knew Gavin shouldn’t be this close but no one had ever touched him like that before. He was so used to covering up his tattoos that he couldn’t remember what they actually felt like. “It feels nice… What kind of tattoos do you…” Gavin swirled his index finger around Geoff’s inner wrist, making the priest’s fingers twitch a little like he’d forgotten how to use them. He could catch Gavin’s scent this close to him, breathing in the distinct, strange aroma of lilac and moss. It was the last thing he’d expect a teenage boy to smell of, but it was intoxicating.
Gavin touched the syringe tattoo, circling his finger over it. “I wouldn't mind like… I don't know a rose on my wrist would be nice, or a wolf tattoo on my thigh, to cover up my scars.” He said softly and looked up at the man. Gavin smiled and rest his head on the man's shoulder. Gavin could smell Geoff's shampoo and body wash, he smelt so good, he wanted to just sink into the man's arms and breathe in his scent.
“Your scars?” he asked softly. “On your thigh… I'm sorry. You shouldn't have had to deal with that pain.” He tried to regain control of his hands, Gavin’s small touches had him leaning closer into Gavin’s embrace.
Gavin looked up at the man, catching his gaze. Gavin didn't look away and Geoff was caught. Gavin leaned closer, closing the gap between them and Geoff closed his eyes. He pressed his lips to the priest’s, softly just testing the man to see if he would pull away within a moment and when he didn't, Gavin pressed his lips against Geoff's a little harder.
Geoff’s whole body felt like it erupted at the touch on his mouth, and he was suddenly too aware that Gavin was a young man with a body far too close to his. “G-Gavin.” He firmly placed his hands on the boy’s shoulders and pushed him back, disconnecting them. “No. No! We can't do that again.” He quickly got out of his chair, still feeling wild and out of control.
“W-Why not? I know you like when I get close and touch you, or you wouldn't let me…” Gavin mumbled and look down at his hands. “It's fine, whatever. It's like what happened with Barbara all over again.” Gavin tried to play Geoff then sighed. Looking like he felt stupid, embarrassed, rejected. Gavin reached for his mug so he could finish his tea and leave.
“I-It doesn’t matter what we want, what we want isn’t always what’s right.” Geoff rubbed his hands over his eyes, still feeling the sweet taste of Gavin’s lips on his mouth. He licked them and tried to shake it off. “What just happened wasn’t right…”
In Gavin’s mind’s eye, he was still stunned to silence. He had felt the tiny kiss Geoff had given back to him. Geoff had kissed his lips, even if Gavin couldn’t move them, he felt it.
“Gavin… That alone could ruin my life if people knew.”
Gavin stood and walked over to Geoff. “No one has to know… Geoff, I've never… You treat me like I'm perfect, like I'm the most precious thing in the world and I need you to show me.” Gavin wrapped his arms around Geoff's neck. “No one can see us, we’re in your house. Just… Please, kiss me,” he almost begged as he pressed his forehead against Geoff's tangling his fingers in the back of his hair.
Every fiber in Geoff’s body felt like it was being torn apart between what he wanted and what he knew he couldn't do. He'd never allowed himself to think of Gavin in his bodily way, but with the boy this close to him and with his burning gaze, Geoff was overly aware of how attractive Gavin was. And it killed the Catholic in him. His cock had grown thicker in his sweatpants and he was struggling to maintain control of himself.
“W-We, we can't, Gavin. It isn't right for me to… to.” He lost his train of thought. “God sees everything we do… He does.”
Gavin leaned in close to Geoff, feeling the heat of his face and he pressed his lips against Geoff's again. This time Gavin kept Geoff's face close, fingers tugging at the man's hair. Gavin could feel Geoff moving his lips, but he wouldn't kiss him back enough. Gavin pulled away and reached one hand down to touch the man’s cock. “Please, I know you want this. If it feels so good, how can it be wrong?” Gavin squeezed the man’s cock and licked his lips. “Fuck, you're big.”
Geoff sucked in his breath sharply and gripped the edge of the kitchen counter he was now cornered against. “O-Oh my god.” It was the first time Gavin had ever heard Geoff use God’s name in vain and it felt like heroin to the demon. “D-Doesn't matter what it feels like…” Just Gavin’s voice had his cock jutting straight out now, straining against the material of his sweatpants. He was so hard it hurt, he should've felt more embarrassed but everything Gavin did was turning him on. “I-I'm not decent, you shouldn't see me like this,” his voice came out weaker than he'd intended. All he wanted to do was kiss Gavin, so much it petrified him. It also scared him to realize how much more he wanted too.
Gavin slowly slid his hand into Geoff's sweatpants, under his boxers. He gripped the priest’s cock and stroked him slowly. “It's okay, Geoff…” Gavin mumbled against the man’s jaw and kisses his neck. “Just give into me… Kiss me,” Gavin whispered huskily against the man’s skin. “I want you…” He added as he pressed his own hard cock against Geoff’s thigh.
Geoff eyes fluttered shut, his mouth dropping open in an unexpected moan. “F-Fuck,” he rasped. The touch of Gavin’s warm fingers wrapping around his length caused his cock to twitch obscenely. “G-Gavin, we…” His body tensed up with pleasure and he forcefully grabbed the back of Gavin’s head, taking a fist of his hair and pulling him in for a closed mouth, rough kiss. A warm, hard kiss captured Gavin, Geoff was the one kissing him this time.
Gavin kept moving his hand a little faster, squeezing at the tip of his cock. Gavin’s head was swimming, his body was tingly and he was so hard. Harder than he's ever been in his life. Gavin let out a small moan against the man’s lips, loving every noise the man was making and the feel of his lips on his in a rough kiss. Gavin had never wanted anything or anyone more than Geoff. This was driving him wild.
Geoff groaned against Gavin’s lips, his body shuddering as he leaned into Gavin’s touch and softened his kiss, kissing him slower with more purpose. “U-Uh…” He rolled his hips forward unconsciously, caught up in how good the friction felt and his cock started dripping precum over Gavin’s knuckles. He curled his hand in Gavin’s hair, placing the other hand on the side of the boy’s jaw. “W-We shouldn't. I-I'm gonna cum,” he gritted out.
Gavin quickened his pace and moved to kiss Geoff's neck, biting at the skin gently, not wanting to leaving a mark. “Cum, Father, cum for me…” Gavin went back to kissing Geoff as he ground his hips against Geoff’s thigh. “A-Ah… I've wanted this for so fucking long.” He moaned squeezed Geoff's cock a couple times.
“F-Fuck!” Geoff moaned sharply, moving his hand to the back of Gavin’s neck down to his ass, squeezing and hoisting him closer. Immediately he was coming inside his sweatpants, harder than he ever had in fucking years. He rasped with each long spurt, sinking into the material of his pants and digging his short nails into Gavin’s hair. “G-Gavin, oh shit… Oh fuck.”
Gavin continued to stroke Geoff through it as he kissed Geoff roughly. “Fuck… Moan my name again… Shit.” Gavin was grinding against Geoff's thigh head tipped back. “Fuck… G-Geoff, pull my hair,” he hissed as he clawed at the man’s chest. “I-I’m close…”
Geoff caught his breath, feeling his wildness start to turn into panic. “Oh my god,” he groaned and pulled Gavin’s hand out of his pants, almost wanting to hyperventilate. “This is bad. This is so bad… Gavin.” He pried the boy away from him, stumbling backwards as the cum dripped down his leg. “Gavin, you don’t understand how bad this is. This is so fucked up. Y-You, why would you want this?” He couldn’t bring his hands to lay another finger on the boy.
Gavin looked at the man and bit his bottom lip. “Why would I want this? Why wouldn’t I? I’m a fucking faggot and I get a hard on for you! I want you, I need you… Geoff, I’m sorry but you’re the first person I’ve ever been attracted to,” he said as he walked up to the man and pushed him up against the counter. “The boy wants you Father Ramsey, he wants you so bad.” Gavin smirked and kissed the man’s neck, loving the feel of his stubble on his face. “I know you want the boy too Geoffrey, I know how fucking bad you want him. Just give in Father, let your own demons out and fuck the boy. He wants it so bad.”
“Y-You’re a fucking demon!” Geoff grabbed Gavin’s wrists, holding them still before he could get aroused. “You speak nothing but lies, get out of Gavin’s head! You’re sick…” He almost sounded like he was pleading for something. “God compels you out of this house, get out of that boy!” He felt a horrible guilt wave over him to think that he’d actually just molested Gavin, Gavin couldn’t have had any control over his actions and Geoff just abused them. He scrambled to grab the crucifix hanging on the wall, pushing it at Gavin, who looked uncomfortable close to it but not that bothered. “Out!”
Gavin raised his eyebrows. “You think that's gonna do anything to me? I'm in your altar boy. I'm protected.” He laughed and pushed against the priest. “Fuck you, you know you loved every second of it. You can't run from your past forever Geoffrey… It's part of you.” Gavin kissed the man again hard, biting his lip and pulling away to contentedly leave the house.
Geoff was left in the kitchen stunned, lips red from Gavin’s hard kiss. How had he known that? Why would Gavin want to bring up his past?
He scratched the insides of his arms nervously and closed the front door, changing out of his dirty sweatpants. He had to make amends for this, anything.
He couldn't sleep, he spend the day praying for forgiveness but it felt hollow. He prayed for it to not feel hollow. To feel like it mattered. Why did it feel so fake? Was it his doubt again? Geoff knew he needed to be forgiven but why had he liked it so much?
Gavin laid in his bed listening to music, he was replaying the events of today over and over in his head. Geoff was gonna crack, he would be the priest’s undoing. “Shut up, stop yelling at me! You both fucking liked it. I'm only doing this because this is your inner wish, your deepest desire.” Gavin yawned and got up to brush his teeth. “Don't worry, tomorrow will be the greatest day of your young life. And you're gonna love it,” Gavin said smirk plastered on his face. “Just wait.”
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