Susan's Writing

hi

[writing-prompt-s]

Your partner is trying to hide their nonhuman nature. You figured it out months ago but play along because you find their antics amusing.

[zuzanwrites]

Back on my Optimus Reader obsessed bullshit

(It’s been a while since I wrote anything, so, I tried) Not reread before posting.

I watched as Orion closed his truck door and ran back into the house to get his keys to hide the fact that he can open his truck doors without a key.

I grabbed the keys before he got in and smiled. “Okay, this has gone on long enough, how can you open the truck without a key? I don’t have a key, it is expensive to have an extra key soo?” I shrugged.

“Have I really been that obvious?” Orion asked?

It took everything in me not to laugh. “You really don’t think it’s suspicious that you’ve never eaten anything I’ve ever made? Or that you can’t even cook scrambled eggs, a grilled cheese sandwich or cook Mac and Cheese?”

Optimus sighed before talking. “I guess that was easily noticable.”

I laughed and took a deep breath. “And respectfully, how you talk. My dad was college educated and one of my grandparents lived with us, and they didn’t even sound that wise or intelligent like that.”

“And how long were you going to let me miserably attempt to hide the truth from you?” Optimus sounded a little… Disappointed?

I sighed, letting my smile start to fade. “I don’t know. So what is the truth?”

“I am actually Optimus Prime and I am from the planet: Cybertron and there was an extensive war that unfortunately made it to Earth. In order to protect the natives, my team and I had to scan vehicle modes to blend in and prevent mass panic.” Optimus said matter-of-fairly but being slightly fidgety with his hands.

“Hey.” I quickly held his hands. “It’s okay, I’m not mad. If it’s too much to talk about, really, we can stop.” I walked him to our couch and I was going to bring water but quickly realized that wouldn’t work so I grabbed a bag of ice. “I would give you water but, you don’t really drink that do you?”

“No, but holding a bag of ice would definitely help. And I want to talk about it.” Optimus held the bag of ice in his hands and I sat next to him. “My team chose to return to Cybertron while I chose to remain on Earth. I have tried to contact anyone but with little to no success.” I hugged him.

“I can tell you miss them. I bet they miss you too. Maybe it’s just bad timing and tech issues. Give them more chances, I’m sure they’ll reach out and talk to you.” He put his head on my shoulder and I rubbed his side.

“So what do you actually drink and how does the whole truck thing work?” I asked, trying to change to a lighter subject.

“I consume and eat energon, the kind that’s light blue. And the truck is my vehicle mode and my robot for is concealed within. I use what’s called a holoform to blend in with humans better and understand more.” I smiled a little.

“Thank you for telling me all of this, I am really proud of you.” I smiled more. “Good choice of human form by the way.”

Optimus laughed, I kissed his (cheek/lips) and put the ice bag back in the freezer.

[ad-wills]

[zuzanzblog]

I suffer from what’s called “head-empty”

[zuzanwrites]

For context I had my first drink of alcohol as a 21 year old a couple days ago.

As I inhaled the champagne. I felt the bubbly liquid all over my stomach and mind. And the taste was an apple juice that had gone long extremely bad. I closed my eyes for a second, only to open them and see bubbles float around my vision. I scratched my head before making sure this was a side effect of the champagne I got at the market. I looked on the side of the bottle and it said nothing.

[zuzanwrites]

Pet Sitting While at Base

Just a drabble

After helping Agent Fowler with his reports. I had to pickup my family’s dog last minute because they couldn’t find a hotel where they are going. After taking them for a nice, long walk (well, long for their size). I picked up my mini greyhound-chihuahua mix and held them in the helicopter when we rode the short flight to the base. I could have taken a groundbridge or drove but I kind of wanted to be at “optic-level”. After Fowler dropped me off, I got down the elevator, to the railing.

“Hello, y/n.”

“Hello Optimus. Fowler was informed of a energon deposit, he just wanted me to make sure you go the coordinates he sent you.”

Everyone was silent and I looked where Optimus was looking, at my pooch, (Dog’s name). “Oh them, I’m just doggy-sitting them for family until they get back.”

Ratchet scoffed, “Do you really have to bring them here?”

I rolled my eyes, “Well, yes Ratchet only because they have intense separation anxiety and they will not take care of themselves unless they’re with someone they know. They are very quiet, you won’t really know that they are there.”

Optimus nodded in understanding, “Is there anything you need to bring to make the little one comfortable?”

I chuckled, “No, it’s just for the night. My parents got held by some traffic. But thanks though.”

“So what do you do with him?” Ratchet, asked with attitude.

“Well, they provide companionship and sometimes a good buddy for naps.” I pet my dog.

“He sounds pretty insubstan-“ Ratchet was cut off by Optimus.

“What he means to say is that they are respectable and we wish them a warm welcome.”

I smiled and looked down at my dog, “I think they appreciate it. If you want you can gently stick your servo out and he’ll smell you.”

Optimus hesitated for a moment and brought his servo out near the railing. My dog brought his head out, towards Optimus’s servo and started licking him. Optimus lowly chuckled, “Does it always feel like that?”

“Ticklish and fuzzy? Yup.” Bumblebee started excitedly beeping.

“You can let them smell you too but you’ve got to calm down alittle and bring your servo out really slowly, too much excitement can scare them.” Bumblebee nodded and calmly brought his servo out, the dog smelled it and leaned into Bumblebee’s servo. Bumblebee had a excited expression in his optics.

“Now, you can bring one of your digits up and gently pat them on top of their head.” After Bumblebee did that I saw Optimus gently pull Bumblebee on the shoulder, urging him on the mission.

When they went through the ground bridge, I brought my dog to the couch and laid down with them, holding them close and going for a nap.

(Part 2?)

[zuzanwrites]

Not Alone

Minor drabble that I wanted to do of Optimus and my human OC, Lucy

They could be platonic, romantic, really up to you.

SFW, Minorly depressing themes but happy ending.

Might make a part two if people want it.

After a particularly devastating loss, Optimus came back into the base. Everyone could tell that Optimus wasn’t okay. Ratchet went up to Optimus. “Are you okay Optimus, really?”

“I am… Fine.” Optimus’s optics were trailing around, trying but not focusing on anything. “i want to be left alone, please.” Optimus practically begged before leaving to his quarters.

Lucy jumped off the couch. “I’ll just wait outside. I won’t pressure him or anything. I’ll just be there for whatever.”

Ratchet sighed. “I don’t think that’s the best idea.”

Lucy shook her head with a pixie cut of brown hair. “I understand, but I’ve been in a similar position and I just know that being alone sometimes, even though you think you want to be, is not a good idea.” Lucy went and sat next to Optimus’s door.

Some time later…

Lucy was napping and heard Optimus’s quarters open. “How long have you been there?” She shook her head.

“Does it matter? As long as I’m there for one of my closest friends, I don’t care about time.” She smiled. Optimus started to smile and picked up Lucy and gently placed her on his shoulder.

“You shouldn’t ignore your body’s needs.” Optimus was stern.

“I’m not I already ate and drank. And, I am not ignoring my body when all it really wants to do is make sure you’re really okay. “ She leaned on Optimus’s neck.

“I am okay, it’s just that loss was important. We could have used the forge for Bumblebee’s voice box and t-cog. Upgrade the teams armors and blasters as-well maybe.” Optimus was solemn.

Lucy gently rubbed Optimus’s shoulder. “I’m sure another opportunity for a t-cog will present itself and I’m sure there will be another opportunity to snag the forge.”

Lucy, wishes she could take some of the responsibilities off of Optimus’s shoulders because he just really doesn’t deserve this, at all. Optimus walked into the main hangar with Lucy still on his shoulder. “Want to watch me decode some Iaconian relics?”

Lucy chuckled. “I’d love to and maybe after all of this we could go to a local dark sky park and watch the stars pass by.”

Sometime later Lucy fell to rest while watching Optimus type away. Optimus smiled lightly and really gently transformed and took Lucy home and laid her to rest on her bed.

[zuzanwrites]

"Hey, You're Bleeding!" (Optimus x Reader Story)

(from: https://pin.it/5eeGE87)

Disclaimers: Negative talk of the Self, Self Harm and potential Depression and Suicide implied.

Ped Steps = Footsteps

Digit = Finger

Faceplate = Face

Characters Mentioned: Miko, Ratchet and Optimus Prime.

"Hey, you're bleeding!" I look to where Miko is referring to and noticed that my right arm was bleeding. I immediately try to clean and cover it up before putting my hands behind my back. I must have cut myself too deep with a small piece from my broken tablet stand last night.

I tried to acknowledge it but not make a big deal of it. "I must have hit my arm on something last night." I said, scratching the back of my head before giving an attempted natural laugh before going to the base's bathroom down the hall.

I was washing off my right arm before noticing my left arm was starting to bleed too. "Shit." I started to pace while my arms were both tightly wrapped in towels. "What am I going to do? If I go out like this everyone is sure to question me." I quickly started texting Miko.

"Don't say anything, I'll handle it myself. Please." It sent.

I tried to think of what to say to take her mind off it for a couple of seconds. So I sent, "Your next 4 ice creams are on me." It was starting to get warm so this was bound to work.

I saw three dots and Miko's reply saying, "Fine."

I put my phone away and checked my wrists and noticed they stopped bleeding, so I took a deep breath and headed for the couch next to Miko.

It was barely even five minutes before I heard Ratchet's annoyed but firm voice say,

"(Y/N), may I speak with you please?"

I quietly ground my teeth slightly afraid of what Ratchet was going to ask about. As time was ticking by I sighed and mumbled, "No more delaying the inevitable." So I went to Ratchet's fenced-off area, I guess that's what you can call it. "Yeah Ratchet?" I said as normal as possible.

"Someone told me that you may have cut your own wrists. is this true?" Ratchet asked with a strong look of concern on his face.

I tried to deny it and bring something dumb and stupid "to light", instead before looking away. "No... and that "someone-"", I air quoted, "-was most definitely Miko."

"I can tell that you're lying (Y/N). Have you done anything to help or solve this?" Ratchet worriedly asked.

"I have seen a therapist about it and she did prescribe me medicine to help which I have taken daily. But I stopped seeing them because I don't have the money to see them anymore. I don't have $120 a month to "throw away" really..." I started to feel ashamed of myself now. "It doesn't get to that extent that often but I messed up last night." I was trying to not get emotional when I started hearing loud ped steps going in the direction of the main room.

"What is... Going on everyone?" A deep, low voice asked. I breathed in before starting to walk away but stopped in my tracks the second I heard Ratchet's voice start to speak. Then my heart started to sink because everything I just told Ratchet was being whispered to Optimus. I looked behind me and saw them talking.

I need air.

I need to get out of here.

This is too much.

I can't feel my own breath.

I quickly ran to the elevator that went to the top of the base and went in. It was a beautiful sunset and was exactly the reverse of the pride flag (showing purple, blue, green, yellow, orange and red). I sat not close to the edge but close enough that just my heels and a good chunk of my calves were off the edge. I took a deep breath and admired the sunset enjoying the calm that I desperately needed.

Even though it was close to a half hour, it was short because before I knew it, I heard heavy ped steps walking towards my direction. I sighed, "If you're expecting answers, prepare to be disappointed because I don't have any really..." I heard a loud thump next to me and looked and saw Optimus sitting next to me, with his peds and lower calves completely over the edge.

"How long has it been happening?" Optimus's baritone voice of worry and concern asked.

I sighed, feeling myself nocibly becoming numb and said, "A few months ago." I kept my head turned away, not wanting Optimus to see the tears that I knew were going to fall out of my eyes shortly. "Don't blame yourself, You wouldn't have known, I was hiding it well from everyone... Too well but I knew how much it would hurt everyone if they knew... So I kept it all to myself and let it eat myself up inside." I felt one tear start to roll down my cheek. I looked next to me, at Optimus's faceplate and saw that he was in a sort of daze, probably looking for signs. I held his digit. "It's not your fault."

Optimus started to look back at me. "If Ratchet never told me, would you have ever told me this was happening?" Optimus had solemn worry "all over him".

I wanted to tell the truth and say "No", but I semi-lied by saying "Probably. Definitely when I stopped and didn't, I guess feel like this anymore." I bit my inner lip.

"You're lying... Why wouldn't you tell me?" Optimus figured out that I lied.

"I wouldn't, because you and everyone else deserve all of the happiness in the world and I didn't want the constant look of fear on everyone's faces." i felt another tear rolled down my cheek.

"And you don't deserve happiness too?" Optimus inquired, put my hand in his.

"Sometimes I feel like I don't. Maybe because I feel like I haven't worked hard enough to feel like I deserve it. Maybe because I feel like I'm not good enough to deserve that happiness." I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around them before crying. "And I know I deserve it but I really don't feel like I do." I started to cry harder, thinking about how everyone would take the news if my suicide was successful. "I understand if you want me to leave or anything, I know this is too much for anyone to handle." I tried to wipe the tears from my eyes, trying to calm down.

"Yes, this is a lot. But losing you, that would be too much." Optimus put his open servo next to me and I got on. I started to feel a warm radiance coming from his chest as he pulled me closer. "Is there anything else you want to talk about pertaining to this matter?" Optimus looked down.

I stopped lying so I shook my hand to say "so-so", maybe. I took a deep breath and asked. "I'm not a failure, I'm not stupid, useless or replaceable, right?" I looked down trying to hide any tears I had left.

"Primus no, you are none of those things." Optimus started rubbing my back with his thumb digit.

I tried to smile but knew that it wouldn't work. "You are right but I wish I could understand why I feel this bad about myself." I started to rub my thighs, to try to soothe myself. "It gets worse when I remember thinking that if I got in a relationship with someone that if they were abusive and hit me or anything similar that I honestly deserved it." I covered my mouth realizing that I just told Optimus one of my darkest and deepest fears. "I try not to let depression, and everything get "too far" but it's difficult when you believe those lies about yourself." I rested my head on his chest, letting the warmth consume me, taking a couple of deep breaths.

"Do you want to go for a drive and enjoy the night sky a little?" Optimus asked, remembering that that had always calmed me. I could stay here all night but a drive does sound like a good idea.

So I answered, "Sure." and Optimus held me as we went back down the elevator and transformed, with me sitting in the passenger's seat going through the steel doors of the base. I looked up and the night sky and mumbled, "I don't deserve this." letting a small smile start to creep onto my face.

I guess Optimus could sense I was doubting something so he said, "You deserve this (y/n), you deserve every second of this. Never think otherwise."

I started to cry again but this time, tears of happiness. "You're right Optimus, you are 100% right. Thank you." A big smile came on my face.

"Just you smiling and being the (y/n) I enjoy being in the company of is more than enough thank you for me." Optimus's voice radiated with the steering wheel.

[zuzanwrites]

Cafe (Eddie x Reader)

(Disclaimer: I wrote this a couple of months ago, I went through a Tom Hardy phase after seeing Venom once, okay. But if people want me to continue this sort of storyline thing, I can 😊😊)

Y/N P. O. V.

I was working at a local coffee shop when I noticed that one of our regulars, Eddie Brock walked in. I started making a medium cappuccino with a shot of espresso because that's what he orders everytime he comes in. The second Eddie sat down I started bringing his refreshment with my number on the napkin under it. "Hey Eddie, how are you doing?" I noticed he had a slightly solemn expression on his face.

I placed the cappuccino on the tale near Eddie. "I'm doing alright." Eddie tried to say as naturally as possible without it sounding like a lie. I knew he was lying but I didn't want to put him in a uncomfortable position, especially at this time of day.

"If you say so, but if you ever want someone to talk or just listen, my number's on the napkin. Also, the cappuccino's on me." Eddie gently put the napkin to the side. "Would you like anything else with that? I know it's not my business but you really don't look like you ate anything I can make something for you, on the house." I stood there writing down the total and everything for myself.

Eddie sighed. "No, I didnt... Surprise me." I smiled.

I knew just what to make him. "Are you allergic to ham or dairy?" I asked just wanting to make sure.

Eddie smiled a little, "Nope."

I smiled a little coming up with an idea. "So, my lunch break is in a couple of minutes and I know you're going through something but I know It's never really a good idea to go through some things alone. So we can just chill in a local park or pier or something if you want to. It's okay if you say no, don't worry about it."

I started writing down the food combo down. I heard Eddie start to speak, "Uh, that is a good idea, thank you." Eddie started to take out his wallet.

I chuckled, "Keep it, you definitely need it more than me Eddie Brock." I extra annunciated the "ck" in "Brock". "I could say that name all day." I smiled before going to the chef with just the thing and told the chef, "One burrito with scrambled eggs, cheese and ham, to go and another with ham and salami also to go." I started rustling my pocket for the money for the orders. I know I work here and "the man" could just take it out of my paycheck but I had enough and this was honestly a better thing to spend it on, in a way than the dumb things I always try to get.

I went to Eddie with his surprise burrito, noticing that his was labled "E, C + H" (for Egg, Cheese and Ham) and mine had "E, C, H + S" (for Egg, Cheese, Ham and Salami). "One surprise burrito and one gal who is officially on her lunch break." Eddie smiled and got up.

"You really know how to make a person's mood better."

I laughed a little, "I try my best."

After Eddie got a headstart, I left the money and the check on the table and we started walking out the door to a park.

[zuzanwrites]

Optimus Found Out That it has Been a Decade Since Their Best Friend’s Grandparent Passing

(Disclaimers: Sadness, Slight Depression, Grieving Process)

Characters Mentioned: Miko and (TFP) Optimus

Miko looked at Optimus and said, “Hey, uh, have you seen Y/N at all today?” Optimus looked, confused.

“No, why?” Miko thought for a second, thinking if she really wanted to tell him but decided it was a good idea. “I think you should check up on her, it’s been almost ten years since their grandparent has passed.”

Optimus nodded in understanding. “I’ll check up on them.” Optimus transformed and started to call her on the way to her house. She picked up. “Hey… Do you need anything Optimus?” They sounded sad and just not like herself.

“Miko told me what happened, I was just wondering if you needed anything?” Optimus said, concerned. Y/N laughed alittle. “I’m alright I just need space from everyone for at least today. If you’re free, we could relax with each other at a park or something later. But I have to get flowers soon and pay my respects.” Y/N sounded sorrowful.

“I’ll go with you.” Optimus said calmly. “Are you sure, you really don’t have to?” Y/N said, smiling alittle. “I want to.” They smiled, “I guess you’re outside already?” Y/N looked out the window. Optimus chuckled alittle, “Yup.” They smiled but still grievingly went to Optimus. “You really don’t, have to, I could’ve walked. I kinda need the fresh air anyway.”

Optimus’s holoform looked over, “Yeah, but you seem like you could use the company.”

They shook their head, “Well you’ve got me there.” They both got to the florist, they both got out. They noticed that Optimus was coming and tried not to laugh. “Who the hell do you need to get flowers for?” They asked curiously. “Fowler.” Optimus tried to lie. They were laughing, "Okay, I have to see that.”

They were looking at the flowers and practically got all of the red, white, and blue ones and started saying, “My grandfather supposedly helped America in a war with a important job that didn’t require fighting and he loved everything that was American made, he didn’t have anything really made from other countries until a couple of years before he died.” They started looking at the flowers and their prices before sighing and practically grabbing all of them and speed walking to the cash register.

As they were about to take out their cash and card to pay, Optimus stopped them, "Don't, it's on me." And paid without giving it a second thought.

After they got back in Optimus's truck cabin, they started saying "You really didn't have to, I could have paid for it." I said, smiling alittle.

"You could have, but you really shouldn't have to." Optimus started driving to Y/N's grandparent's grave. When they both got to Y/N's grandparent's grave, Y/N took a deep breath before saying,

"Hey grand(p/m)a. I know it's been a while but I miss you everyday and-" Y/N started to get emotional. Optimus noticed this and wrapped his arm gently around Y/N's side, slightly above the hip, "I just wish that you could see the person I've become. I wish you could just be here telling me how proud you are of how you're grandchild has changed... That would just mean alot to me."

Y/n took a deep breath before starting to compose themselves feeling Optimus's hand on their back. "The doctors found out I have a immune disease that no-one's really heard about. Myasthenia Gravis. I'm getting better at coping with it and not getting as emotional but it still hurts like hell everytime I can't open something as simple as a soup or pasta can, even if it has a tab to pull on it. I don't really like that I have to be on steroids to treat it because I would love to have just the option to play in any sports for fun and I just wish my body could treat it on its own."

They started to smile, "But on a happier note, I do kind of have strong crushes on two people but I know they honestly need to focus on much more important things and they're definitely "out of my league" without a doubt so. But if the rumour's true, and you are really watching over me, then I think you know who they are." They gave a gentle glance at Optimus before looking back at the grave.

"Hope my childhood pets aren't giving you too much trouble. Tell them all that I said hi. I love you all." They placed two fingers to their lips and placed them on the grave stone for a moment before stepping back alittle and giving silent prayers.

After they gave silent prayers they did the holy cross gesture on themselves and walked back to Optimus's truck cabin with Optimus following closely behind.

They visited a park where their name was inscribed on a stone to remember their service during the war. And then they had a picnic with food and stuffs from the human's bag before chilling at base for a while and calling it a day.

[zuzanwrites]

Hi so alot of the posts are going to be reposts of stories I wrote, I'd you want the original account it is @zuzanold, I created @zuzanzblog, @zuzanwrites and @zuzansthoughts, all in association with eachother because when I combined it all in one account my brain honestly didn't like it so, yeah I kind of wanted them separate without having to make several emails to do it xD