saudade; @zxczaivbnm - Tumblr Blog

I just want to wake up sometime and feel her face buried between my legs, her mouth wet and wide, swallowing the morning whole. I want the raw, sliding suction of her lips to be the first thing I know, a deep and rhythmic pulling that makes the rest of the world a lie. No soft poetry, just the hard, slick heat of her tongue lapping at the musk of me and her throat taking me in, inch by heavy inch, until I’m nothing but a pulse in her hands. I want to feel that tight, velvet squeeze of her swallowing until my nerves scream and the room starts to shake, letting her suck the life out of me until the sun burns out and I'm finally coming apart in her mouth.

I wish I could tell you na I never wanted marriage. It's all about hearing you want to settle down and build your life with me. Gusto mo pa ba ako makasama? Naiisip mo ba na kasama mo ko sa lahat? Mahal mo pa rin ba ako kahit ilang taon na ang lilipas?

#thoughts about my k

wholeheartedsuggestions

forgive the version of you that didn’t know any better

wholeheartedsuggestions

forgive the version of yourself that knew better but did it anyway. forgive every version of yourself. we are constantly learning from our mistakes.

wholeheartedsuggestions

forgive the version of you that didn’t know what to do and could not have foreseen what the right choice was, if there even was one. forgive the version of you that made a choice and regretted it.

These past few days, I wasn't not really at my best state. Ang lungkot lungkot ko. Pakiramdam ko hindi ako enough sa lahat ng aspeto ng buhay ko. Mapatrabaho. Mapasabahay. Maging isang ina. Maging isang partner. Tapos nakadagdag pa yun issue namin ng partner ko na ayaw niya magpakasal due to experiences in life na naiintindihan ko. Na tanggap ko. Kasi sa buhay talaga ngayon, mahirap. Sa sitwasyon naming ito, mahirap. Minsan naiimagine ko rin naman ang sarili ko na nakasuot ng puting dress or puting wedding gown na lalakad patungo sa kanya. Umiiyak ako patungo sa kanya pero dahil sa saya. Pero hindi ko yun inopen up. Dahil alam kong phase lang siya na mawawala rin. Na hindi siya yun to the point na kikimkimin ko pa. Ganon lang yon. Pero ewan ko. Naiisip niya siguro na kasalanan niya kaya ko ito naiisip isulat. Kaya niya siguro naisip sumuko. Ngunit wala naman kasalanan ang kahit na sino sa nararamdaman ko. May phase talaga tayo ng buhay na alam mo yun, hindi natin kontrolado ang mga nangyayari. Kung masaya tayo, masaya talaga tayo. Pero kung malungkot talaga tayo, malungkot talaga. It is all a battle between me and just plain self.

All I wanted was for you to be there for me when I was at the verge of fighting these fucking thoughts; these voices in my head who kept saying that I wasn't good enough for you. I never wanted you to leave. I never wanted to make you leave. All I want is to make you stay and love me even if I find myself unlovable. I'm so tired of myself.

Pero kahit ganon, I am so proud na pinipili ng partner ko yun sarili niya. Deserve niya na unahin ang sarili niya. Kasi hindi ko rin naman pipiliin ang sarili ko kung ako ang nasa posisyon niya. But iadmit ko rin, na sana hindi niya ako sinukuan tulad ng hindi ko pagsuko sa kanya. Kasi ang sakit sakit. At pakiramdam ko, magdamag ko itong iiyak mamaya.

#thoughts about my k

enigmaticeloquence

Maybe fucking is a good idea. Not that empty, sweaty kind I’ve known too often. But the kind where everything's raw and slow—when moaning means something, when the skin talks louder than mouths. Where eyes lock and stay locked, even when bodies lose shape. The kind where you finish and collapse and don’t feel dirtier, just more human. Where it’s not just release—it’s communion. Maybe that’s what I want more than anything: not the sex, but the weight of you, real and warm, grounding me when the world feels like smoke.

hauxicrook

remember why we loved tumblr. it let us express, without filters.

don’t make that harder for someone else. let people be.

lexxib-deactivated20250707

just want to be fucked and loved well

I love how glowing I am when I am at peace. 🥹🫶🏻

feral-ballad

Joy Sullivan, from Instructions for Traveling West: Poems; “Instructions for Traveling West”

[Text ID: “you’re homesick / for all the lives / you’re not living.”]

65mpg

Forever a "I understand" with a constant heavy heart.

It's been a year of healing..

One year na pala, simula nung umalis kami ng anak ko sa Laguna kung saan mahal na mahal ko yun trabaho ko at kung saan nakakasama pa namin yun tatay niya. One year na pala simula nun pinipilit kong ibaon sa limot ang naranasan ko sa apat na taon na relasyon namin. Yung mga pasa na natamo ko sa pananakit niya, yung mga masasama at masasakit niyang pananalita. I'm still healing. I know I still am healing. Sobrang hirap pa rin ibaon sa limot.