Recently I heard someone refer to feedism as "glorifying an eating disorder". As someone who's a feedist, this bothered me and I wanted to hear your thoughts about this take.
it bothered me too. 🫂💔 people say that all the time and it’s extremely harmful and offensive, especially to those of us who actually have struggled with real eating disorders. I guess they must be equating stuffing & fullness play to binge eating disorder? which demonstrates a lack of understanding of both BED and kink. stuffing does not meet the criteria for BED. it’s disordered when the following is present:
a. the sense of lack of control over eating during the episode (e.g., a feeling that one cannot stop eating or control what or how much one is eating)
b. feeling disgusted with oneself, depressed, or very guilty after overeating
c. eating alone because of being embarrassed by how much one is eating
d. marked distress regarding binge eating is present.
as opposed to a stuffing being planned, the feedee is completely in control, they are safe and calm, enjoying the sensations of taste and touch, feeling sexy, proud, aroused, comforted, validated, etc., often with the love and aftercare from their scene partner.
and guess what! a lot of feedists don’t like stuffings at all. shocker.
of course there are feedists who have a complicated relationship with their kink because of their eating disorder. I’ve also heard from countless feedists that practicing kink is actually a way of healing from their eating disorder. I know feedists who have never had problems with food or body image at all because of the positive feelings brought to them by their kink.
experiences are not universal! we are diverse because we are human!
There's a thing that official BED criteria leaves out. It's not an eating disorder if there is no restriction going on.
This is not a common take on BED. The fact that people with BED restrict (or have experienced chronic food insecurity) is overlooked by most medical professionals and the folks who have the disorder themselves. But if you take the time to look at folks in this situation (like i was), we try to restrict our eating and then react to that restriction with bingeing. The bingeing itself is not the disordered part. That's our bodies reacting to restriction by increasing our hunger and cravings, because our bodies are trying to protect us from calorie deprivation.
Recovering from any eating disorder means allowing ourselves to eat as much as we want, whenever we want. If we want to eat past the point of fullness, that is fine and healthy. "Bingeing" is not a bad word. It's diet culture that teaches people that it's bad, not any kind of health consequence.
correct!!! thanks for this addition!
#yeah like. ‘stuffing’ even though it’s kink is no different than choosing to eat past fullness at your fave restaurant bc it’s so yummy.
