A.P. Bio season two sentence starters
"So that is 128 ounces of mayonnaise. It's a lot, right?"
"We were going to cut off Master Kyle's ponytail, but someone had to have an epiphany."
"Where were we? Oh, right, I'm gonna be a Japanese millionaire."
"I need to get in the trenches with these people, feel what they feel, like Jane Goodall living with the chimps."
"Then you repeat the whole thing until five P.M. or, as we call it, 'Beer o'clock'."
"Hey, I was just curious, uh, you guys mad at your wives?"
"It's just a rash. I think I'm allergic to the lead at the smelting plant."
"As you know, I like women. A lot. In that way."
"Stealing from a church feels pretty low, even for you."
"At night, do you guys keep, like, a baseball bat beside your bed in case a home invader comes in?"
"Uh, I think your friend's about to murder a doctor for money."
"Fine, but only because you appealed to my sense of vanity."
"I was on a date with... A supermodel."
"Do you believe the nuns have special powers?"
"Okay, this lady has not blinked since I've been in here. Does she ever blink?"
"I drink, I cuss, I sleep around. What are you gonna do about it?"
"They only have evidence on me. No one else has to get in trouble."
"It's weird to say it's yours, just because you bought it, you know what I mean? I bought that chipmunk, but he doesn't belong to me, he belongs to the world."
"Umm... Are you about to sing?"
"Somebody put a hamster in the vending machine and it's stuck in G9. He's two dollars."
"Did you really go to school for four years to learn something that is... Kind of common sense?"
"I told you that this ten dollar bill was my own, but that was a goldangit lie."
"Oh, my God, I did it. I found the Toledo Strangler."
"Yeah, I have a confession to make, too: I stole your wallet."
"I had a roommate that I thought was a vampire, but he was just British, and then ever since then I've just roomed with fat, tan Americans."
"I hate the way my face looks in photographs."
"Give us some over-the-shoulder brooding look, make it pouty."
"If you ladies think I look good in sweatpants, you should see me in a suit."
"I feel like I'm no better at kissing than I was twenty minutes ago."
"You were described as a... 'Loveable grumpus' and a 'cutie with a booty'."
"Marry him, he sounds fun."
"When I die... You're getting it all."
"Unfair AF. I'm sorry to letter-swear this early in the morning."
"So, I don't know if you have spring break plans, but..."
"Just so you know, I'm a grownup-ass man, and I don't get embarrassed when I like somebody."
"Looks like someone is trying to impress someone."
"Why do you have forks in your pocket?"
"There's just one problem: you died ten seconds ago."
"I think I want it to be a mystery forever, kind of like Zodiac Killer type of thing."
"That was really fun the other night. You wanna hang out again some time, maybe as a date?"
"We still callin' her a whore even though they're engaged?"
"We went out one time and now this clown won't stop texting me."
"Revenge isn't for everybody but it has its merits."
"Wow, I gotta tell ya, that is the hottest thing any woman's ever said to me."
"I genuinely can't tell if we're friends or not."
"See, this dynamic works, we're not dating, we're just helping each other destroy old men."
"After a night of sustained pillow screaming, I am... Physically here."
"Oh, no, please do interrupt, and never stop interrupting."
"Oh, God, I think I smashed my butt."
"Like you care. All you care about's making love to pretty women."
"This is lining up with a lot of my nightmares. Are my teeth still in my mouth?"
"If you need to chat about it some more, come see me after class, alright?"
"You're very cute when you're injured, it's a good thing it happens so often."
"Actually, if I'm gonna die, we should probably French kiss goodbye, don't you think?"
"Are you saying you have no phone?"
"Let's just say that the changing table in the bathroom didn't break itself."
"Catch ya later, masturbator"
"When a man cries, nothing feels safe."
"You're a strong woman. I've seen you kick a coffee table across a lobby."
"So, are you guys like a thing? Because you seem like you're into each other but you also seem like you're cousins."
"I am a grown-ass woman and sometimes I wanna make bad decisions, so let me."
"I'm pregnant. The doctor said it's your baby. He had your sperm on file."
"Thank you for the sex, it felt normal."
"We skinny dipped in the moonlight and held each other as the black night bore down on us."
"This is a bad, sucky feeling."
"Y'know, this whole detached routine is getting a little boring."
"Were you not dating other people?"
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