I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

James Charlus Potter. 7th Year Gryffindor. Chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. I'm in love with Lily Evans. She is perfection personified. My three best friends and I call ourselves the Marauders, even though Twats on Tour would be more fitting.

[--prongs]

NOW THE PARTY DON'T START, TIL I WALK IN.

[--prongs]

[--prongs]

I know. They are my revision notes to myself though. *holds up a piece of parchments to show her* See?

[lilsevans-blog]

Wait a second… did I just manage to get you to study?

[--prongs]

*points her in the breasts* They made me do it.

[lilsevans-blog]

*looks at her breasts* Nice work guys! I’m proud of you. *smiles at James* You too. Now lets see how much more work we can get to before you spontaneously combust with lust.

[--prongs]

*stares at his notes again* if I don't get laid after all this then I'm taking pickle in the divorce settlement.

[--prongs]

[--prongs]

I know. They are my revision notes to myself though. *holds up a piece of parchments to show her* See?

[lilsevans-blog]

Wait a second… did I just manage to get you to study?

[--prongs]

*points her in the breasts* They made me do it.

[--prongs]

[--prongs]

If I study, will you have sex with me later? Like properly?

[lilsevans-blog]

What’s properly having sex with you? I always have sex with you properly…?

[--prongs]

I mean, like you let me seduce you, and stuff. Instead of just mundane, married sex. I like when you put on sexy underwear and stuffs too.

[lilsevans-blog]

*undoes her shirt to reveal new underwear* Be my guest… after we study.

[--prongs]

*cups one of her breasts* I SWEAR I WILL STUDY NOW.

*looks down at his notes, concentrating hard* TRANFIGURATION, GET IN MY BRAIN.

[lilsevans-blog]

*bats his hand away and laughs* Hey James… cast a patronus.

[--prongs]

*casts a patronus without looking up, causing a spectral deer to trot around the room before disappearing*

[lilsevans-blog]

I still don’t get how you don’t see the impressiveness in what you just did…

[--prongs]

Because its simple compared to turning yourself into a deer.

[lilsevans-blog]

I can’t compare… you wouldn’t let me learn how…

[--prongs]

I would! You just weren’t allowed to come with or be heroic when you were.

Just think happy thoughts. Like when I proposed, or our first kiss. Or when we first said I love you. And you concentrate on it, really hard. You relive it and the emotions, you feel it deep down. Then when you say Expecto Patronum say it with conviction, like you mean it. And voila. Patronus.

[lilsevans-blog]

*waves her hand at him* I can cast a patronus, Potter. 

[--prongs]

I know. They are my revision notes to myself though. *holds up a piece of parchments to show her* See?

[--prongs]

[--prongs]

If I study, will you have sex with me later? Like properly?

[lilsevans-blog]

What’s properly having sex with you? I always have sex with you properly…?

[--prongs]

I mean, like you let me seduce you, and stuff. Instead of just mundane, married sex. I like when you put on sexy underwear and stuffs too.

[lilsevans-blog]

*undoes her shirt to reveal new underwear* Be my guest… after we study.

[--prongs]

*cups one of her breasts* I SWEAR I WILL STUDY NOW.

*looks down at his notes, concentrating hard* TRANFIGURATION, GET IN MY BRAIN.

[lilsevans-blog]

*bats his hand away and laughs* Hey James… cast a patronus.

[--prongs]

*casts a patronus without looking up, causing a spectral deer to trot around the room before disappearing*

[lilsevans-blog]

I still don’t get how you don’t see the impressiveness in what you just did…

[--prongs]

Because its simple compared to turning yourself into a deer.

[lilsevans-blog]

I can’t compare… you wouldn’t let me learn how…

[--prongs]

I would! You just weren't allowed to come with or be heroic when you were.

Just think happy thoughts. Like when I proposed, or our first kiss. Or when we first said I love you. And you concentrate on it, really hard. You relive it and the emotions, you feel it deep down. Then when you say Expecto Patronum say it with conviction, like you mean it. And voila. Patronus.

[--prongs]

[--prongs]

If I study, will you have sex with me later? Like properly?

[lilsevans-blog]

What’s properly having sex with you? I always have sex with you properly…?

[--prongs]

I mean, like you let me seduce you, and stuff. Instead of just mundane, married sex. I like when you put on sexy underwear and stuffs too.

[lilsevans-blog]

*undoes her shirt to reveal new underwear* Be my guest… after we study.

[--prongs]

*cups one of her breasts* I SWEAR I WILL STUDY NOW.

*looks down at his notes, concentrating hard* TRANFIGURATION, GET IN MY BRAIN.

[lilsevans-blog]

*bats his hand away and laughs* Hey James… cast a patronus.

[--prongs]

*casts a patronus without looking up, causing a spectral deer to trot around the room before disappearing*

[lilsevans-blog]

I still don’t get how you don’t see the impressiveness in what you just did…

[--prongs]

Because its simple compared to turning yourself into a deer.

[--prongs]

[--prongs]

If I study, will you have sex with me later? Like properly?

[lilsevans-blog]

What’s properly having sex with you? I always have sex with you properly…?

[--prongs]

I mean, like you let me seduce you, and stuff. Instead of just mundane, married sex. I like when you put on sexy underwear and stuffs too.

[lilsevans-blog]

*undoes her shirt to reveal new underwear* Be my guest… after we study.

[--prongs]

*cups one of her breasts* I SWEAR I WILL STUDY NOW.

*looks down at his notes, concentrating hard* TRANFIGURATION, GET IN MY BRAIN.

[lilsevans-blog]

*bats his hand away and laughs* Hey James… cast a patronus.

[--prongs]

*casts a patronus without looking up, causing a spectral deer to trot around the room before disappearing*

[--prongs]

[--prongs]

If I study, will you have sex with me later? Like properly?

[lilsevans-blog]

What’s properly having sex with you? I always have sex with you properly…?

[--prongs]

I mean, like you let me seduce you, and stuff. Instead of just mundane, married sex. I like when you put on sexy underwear and stuffs too.

[lilsevans-blog]

*undoes her shirt to reveal new underwear* Be my guest… after we study.

[--prongs]

*cups one of her breasts* I SWEAR I WILL STUDY NOW.

*looks down at his notes, concentrating hard* TRANFIGURATION, GET IN MY BRAIN.

[--prongs]

[--prongs]

If I study, will you have sex with me later? Like properly?

[lilsevans-blog]

What’s properly having sex with you? I always have sex with you properly…?

[--prongs]

I mean, like you let me seduce you, and stuff. Instead of just mundane, married sex. I like when you put on sexy underwear and stuffs too.

[--prongs]

[--prongs]

Yes. I’m attractive and awesome, and you love me. Plus you like the big rock I put on your finger, so…

[lilsevans-blog]

*looks at the ring on her finger* You’re right, I do like the ring… 

You’re alright too, I guess

[--prongs]

Yes! Also, if i think really hard, I can make my penis highfive your stomach.

[lilsevans-blog]

If you think at all I think your brain will explode.

…Oh wait, sorry, my bad… what brains? 

[--prongs]

I know, my brains are fried, so take off your clothes so I don’t have to think hard.

[lilsevans-blog]

*rolls off him and sits back on the couch, picking up her notes* 

[--prongs]

*gets up and sits beside her* Whatcha reading?

[lilsevans-blog]

Study notes..

[--prongs]

About…

[lilsevans-blog]

The 1637 Werewolf Code of Conduct

[--prongs]

*bursts out laughing* I could tell you all about that, while you’re loving my penis. Werewolves? I think there are 4 people that know everything about that subject in the entire school.

[lilsevans-blog]

Damnit! I knew I should of gone with Goblin Wars. 

You *points at James* You need to study. 

[--prongs]

If I study, will you have sex with me later? Like properly?

[--prongs]

[--prongs]

Yes. I’m attractive and awesome, and you love me. Plus you like the big rock I put on your finger, so…

[lilsevans-blog]

*looks at the ring on her finger* You’re right, I do like the ring… 

You’re alright too, I guess

[--prongs]

Yes! Also, if i think really hard, I can make my penis highfive your stomach.

[lilsevans-blog]

If you think at all I think your brain will explode.

…Oh wait, sorry, my bad… what brains? 

[--prongs]

I know, my brains are fried, so take off your clothes so I don’t have to think hard.

[lilsevans-blog]

*rolls off him and sits back on the couch, picking up her notes* 

[--prongs]

*gets up and sits beside her* Whatcha reading?

[lilsevans-blog]

Study notes..

[--prongs]

About…

[lilsevans-blog]

The 1637 Werewolf Code of Conduct

[--prongs]

*bursts out laughing* I could tell you all about that, while you're loving my penis. Werewolves? I think there are 4 people that know everything about that subject in the entire school.

[--prongs]

[--prongs]

Yes. I’m attractive and awesome, and you love me. Plus you like the big rock I put on your finger, so…

[lilsevans-blog]

*looks at the ring on her finger* You’re right, I do like the ring… 

You’re alright too, I guess

[--prongs]

Yes! Also, if i think really hard, I can make my penis highfive your stomach.

[lilsevans-blog]

If you think at all I think your brain will explode.

…Oh wait, sorry, my bad… what brains? 

[--prongs]

I know, my brains are fried, so take off your clothes so I don’t have to think hard.

[lilsevans-blog]

*rolls off him and sits back on the couch, picking up her notes* 

[--prongs]

*gets up and sits beside her* Whatcha reading?

[lilsevans-blog]

Study notes..

[--prongs]

About...

[--prongs]

[--prongs]

Yes. I’m attractive and awesome, and you love me. Plus you like the big rock I put on your finger, so…

[lilsevans-blog]

*looks at the ring on her finger* You’re right, I do like the ring… 

You’re alright too, I guess

[--prongs]

Yes! Also, if i think really hard, I can make my penis highfive your stomach.

[lilsevans-blog]

If you think at all I think your brain will explode.

…Oh wait, sorry, my bad… what brains? 

[--prongs]

I know, my brains are fried, so take off your clothes so I don’t have to think hard.

[lilsevans-blog]

*rolls off him and sits back on the couch, picking up her notes* 

[--prongs]

*gets up and sits beside her* Whatcha reading?

[--prongs]

[--prongs]

Yes. I’m attractive and awesome, and you love me. Plus you like the big rock I put on your finger, so…

[lilsevans-blog]

*looks at the ring on her finger* You’re right, I do like the ring… 

You’re alright too, I guess

[--prongs]

Yes! Also, if i think really hard, I can make my penis highfive your stomach.

[lilsevans-blog]

If you think at all I think your brain will explode.

…Oh wait, sorry, my bad… what brains? 

[--prongs]

I know, my brains are fried, so take off your clothes so I don't have to think hard.

[--prongs]

[--prongs]

Yes. I’m attractive and awesome, and you love me. Plus you like the big rock I put on your finger, so…

[lilsevans-blog]

*looks at the ring on her finger* You’re right, I do like the ring… 

You’re alright too, I guess

[--prongs]

Yes! Also, if i think really hard, I can make my penis highfive your stomach.

[--prongs]

Stupid NEWTS, stupid exams. Hurty head. Achy brain.

[lilsevans-blog]

*trots down the stairs in her pyjamas* Stop being melodramatic, James.

[--prongs]

*makes a grabby hand at her* Give me your smarts.

[lilsevans-blog]

*prods James’ hip*…

[lilsevans-blog]

*sticks out and pats in the general direction of James* Glad you figured that one out early, love. You better get used to it.

[--prongs]

*grabs her hand and pulls her down on top of him* I am used to it. I love you because of it. You should marry me.

[lilsevans-blog]

*laughs loudly* Marry you? *scoffs* Now why would I do that, Mr Potter?

[--prongs]

Because I’m headboy, I’m popular, rich, and I have a huge penis. A penis that is wondering why we haven’t done it on the floor in this room yet.

[lilsevans-blog]

Not to mention your impeccable modesty…

[--prongs]

Yes. I'm attractive and awesome, and you love me. Plus you like the big rock I put on your finger, so...

[--prongs]

Stupid NEWTS, stupid exams. Hurty head. Achy brain.

[lilsevans-blog]

*trots down the stairs in her pyjamas* Stop being melodramatic, James.

[--prongs]

*makes a grabby hand at her* Give me your smarts.

[lilsevans-blog]

*prods James’ hip*…

[lilsevans-blog]

*sticks out and pats in the general direction of James* Glad you figured that one out early, love. You better get used to it.

[--prongs]

*grabs her hand and pulls her down on top of him* I am used to it. I love you because of it. You should marry me.

[lilsevans-blog]

*laughs loudly* Marry you? *scoffs* Now why would I do that, Mr Potter?

[--prongs]

Because I'm headboy, I'm popular, rich, and I have a huge penis. A penis that is wondering why we haven't done it on the floor in this room yet.