☆ hello, we are stefano, äezōre or bulletin. we have a lot of names, we know. we are also known as the vigilate in virtual system! we use he/him only, and do not like any other pronouns being used.
☆ we do not really believe in "dni" due to it not necessarily working, but if we had to chose some people we dont want interacting, it would be anti-proshipping (due to the normalization of victim blaming, harassment and so on), xenosatanists and radqueers.
☆ i draw sometimes, but we mostly sys and random post
☆ i have a wonderful fiancé, so please do not flirt or attempt courtship (fiancé is @phightrs)
a hastily made comic because I’ve been Having A Time. mostly for people who already know what systems are/what polyfragmented means (cuz I didn’t explain it) but feel free to show anyone who you think needs it
I am not in danger, just wanted to rant about something bc this is my place to talk about whatever I want.
also if you're gonna bitch and complain about anything mentioned, please fuck off.
"people who enjoy abusive dynamics see themselves as the victim due to trauma, not the abuser!"
not me. and this isn't me trying to be edgy or like "lol I'm abusive", but my sense of self has been so plagued by what others have said about me, things like " you're too much and you cant have people loving you because they feel bad for you" and things similar.
Ive begun warning people that I am a bad person because these words stick to me and I've begun to label myself as some disgusting abuser who will hurt everyone close to me. I enjoy abusive dynamics (especially AloneTraveler and SELOZAR) because I project myself onto Alone. obviously, I don't agree with damn near everything involving his character, but how well I portray him in my own head as a terrible person and how much of my insecurities I project onto him means something to me.
I would never hurt anyone willingly, and I try my best to acknowledge my wrong doings and apologize, but no matter what I do to fix myself, I always hurt others again and again.
sometimes I question if I'm even worthy of loving someone else, if it's even worth it to try and find my other half because I always hurt them.
I want to love normally, I want to love someone completely without hurting them.
[ panel one says : ehehaheh I get to talk to my crush! I haven't talked to someone I liked since- ]
missing someone from our exes is pretty normal for us and we feel so guilty for it because we have a wonderful fiancé. it feels selfish to miss someone that hurt us when we're happy now.
people always describe the system experience as either the host makes all the decisions with input from their headmates, or the headmates vote and come to a collective decision, but what i experience is more closer to a dictatorship where whoever’s fronting at the moment does whatever the fuck they want until they leave and then it repeats with the next fronter and the one after that too.
QUIEN ES ESTE TIPO ME ENVIAS SOLI EN DC SOY yhojall RÁPIDO
fuck I don't go on Tumblr much😭 uhh I don't speak Spanish as my main language (I rarely know any, apologies) so I feel being friends might not go so well
Introjects with problematic sources are valid. whether they are;
factives of problematic people
factives of abusers
fictives of canonically bad people
fictives from problematic media
fictives from media with a problematic creator
You are not inherently bad due to your source. Whether you hide your source or not. It does not make you bad. Your source's actions do not define you. Whether you detach or not is frankly your business. I nor anybody else can force others to do anything. But as long as you are trying to/are willing to heal, I support you.
Feeling awkward about your source is 100% valid. We have experienced that. But try not to let your source burden you in any way. You are so much more than it <3
