「 ✦ ‘cilla ✦ 」

paul mccartney’s alter ego she / her 8teen 🇵🇪

[07121989]

update

hello!! i have been MIA for awhile due to back 2 school and classes im taking this year 💔 recently tried to get back into writing since i do have a lot of drafts and haven’t gone around to actually write my story. I have been on a sasuke brainrot lately, so I’ll be writing about him time from time >_<

will write as soon as i can (⌒▽⌒)☆

[07121989]

salvatore; suguru geto.

—————————————————————————

you didn’t know what it meant, not fully. to be touched by a god and expected to kneel — and yet want nothing more than to do just that.

you remembered the first time you saw him. all those years ago. in tokyo, blood-slicked pavement, the cries of dying strangers echoing through the narrow alleys. a cursed spirit, a scream, a blur of black uniform. s. geto, face unreadable, destroyed it, the curse turning into a ball. swallowing it in a single breath. he never looked at you. but you looked at him.

and you fell in love. not in the way girls fall in love with boys, but in the way the world falls to its knees beneath the weight of heaven.

years later, when you found his teachings, you read his words like scripture. you bled for his vision. you prayed for his attention. and when you finally stood before him — nothing in your hands, no cursed energy, no worth — you offered everything anyway.

—————————————————————————

a small drabble: i’m officially writing my first fic!! this will part of the introduction to my story i’ll be doing, idk if to publish on ao3 or on tumblr ( or both lol ) but i hope you guys enjoy it when i do publish my cult leader!suguru x reader fic for the first time :)

[07121989]

it’s pretty bland now and it’s just a small preview of it before i get into it #yas

[07121989]

salvatore; suguru geto.

—————————————————————————

you didn’t know what it meant, not fully. to be touched by a god and expected to kneel — and yet want nothing more than to do just that.

you remembered the first time you saw him. all those years ago. in tokyo, blood-slicked pavement, the cries of dying strangers echoing through the narrow alleys. a cursed spirit, a scream, a blur of black uniform. s. geto, face unreadable, destroyed it, the curse turning into a ball. swallowing it in a single breath. he never looked at you. but you looked at him.

and you fell in love. not in the way girls fall in love with boys, but in the way the world falls to its knees beneath the weight of heaven.

years later, when you found his teachings, you read his words like scripture. you bled for his vision. you prayed for his attention. and when you finally stood before him — nothing in your hands, no cursed energy, no worth — you offered everything anyway.

—————————————————————————

a small drabble: i’m officially writing my first fic!! this will part of the introduction to my story i’ll be doing, idk if to publish on ao3 or on tumblr ( or both lol ) but i hope you guys enjoy it when i do publish my cult leader!suguru x reader fic for the first time :)

[07121989]

decided to go to the jump shop today in shibuya :D it was pretty packed to say the least but bought so many cute jjk items there! they also had haikyuu, one piece and other anime’s that jump has, wish i bought the sukuna and yuji plush set D:

[07121989]

Oh literally anything!! Like just how he would be as a friend/boyfriend, his likes/dislikes, etc. Go crazy lol I’m in my Gojo era right now and I like the way you write him🩷

satoru gojo hcs!

————————————————————————

💌 he’s the type to love you cautiously.

gojo never really gets the chance to embrace his love fully. every time he does, someone ends up hurt—or worse.

so when you come into his life, he guards you. protects you.

if anyone ever found out about your relationship? yeah. you’d have the highest level of security. no one’s touching you. not on his watch.

⸻

📅 dating him is… overwhelming.

for him. not you. he’s a mess lol. after his blue spring days, he doesn’t really know how to be someone’s boyfriend. how to handle himself and another person.

plus his schedule? disaster. barely has time for himself.

but no matter how chaotic it gets—he can’t ignore how deeply he loves you.

⸻

🎁 it starts simple.

playful flirting.

corny pickup lines that make you groan but secretly smile.

small souvenirs from missions—like “this reminded me of you!” (it’s a weird keychain. it’s ugly. but it’s yours now.)

he loves seeing your reactions too much to stop.

⸻

💿 as your boyfriend… he’s trying. really.

he’s not emotionally dumb—he’s just never done this before.

you cry? he panics. jokes it off. not because he’s cruel but because he’s never had to comfort softness. he’s been trained to survive, not to be tender.

but over time—through trust, love, late-night talks—he gets better.

he starts telling you about his day. the heavy stuff. the parts of himself he never shares.

⸻

🤍 intimacy scares him.

not because he doesn’t want it. because it means being vulnerable. and that’s dangerous.

but with you, it’s different. there’s no threat. just warmth.

sex isn’t just sex—it’s closeness. soul-binding. the first time feels like giving you every part of himself and realizing you’ll take care of it.

sometimes he will take out his frustrations in bed and fold you like a pretzel in bed and rant to you about the higher ups like you can even say a word.

⸻

🍼 father gojo supremacy.

boyfriend? complicated.

father? 10/10.

he adores his kids.

he treats his students like his own, so imagine his actual children.

matching sunglasses, sneaking them onto safe missions, turning cursed technique training into a game.

he’s so unserious. and so, so proud.

⸻

a lil extras:

– he has a whole album of you on his phone. he scrolls through it when he misses you

– his lockscreen? candid photo of you laughing w/ his students

– if you fall asleep before he comes home, he’ll lie beside you and whisper what he didn’t get to say

– if you’re mad at him: “oh? you hate me now? wow. ok.” very dramatic. ugh you think it’s dumb but also find it funny.

– cuddling? it’s your idea. even when he literally pulls you into his lap.

– he WILL do the spider-man upside-down kiss. no warning.

– if you text him “i love you”, he screenshots it. every time.

– tries to get your kid to call him “king gojo.” fails. keeps trying anyway as a joke.

————————————————————————

sorry anon this took longer than expected haha. i love this guy and had to word it right, and also i have to type with one hand since i cut my thumb yesterday but hope u enjoy it!! :D

[07121989]

RAHHHHH new gojo content :P

[07121989]

Oh literally anything!! Like just how he would be as a friend/boyfriend, his likes/dislikes, etc. Go crazy lol I’m in my Gojo era right now and I like the way you write him🩷

satoru gojo hcs!

————————————————————————

💌 he’s the type to love you cautiously.

gojo never really gets the chance to embrace his love fully. every time he does, someone ends up hurt—or worse.

so when you come into his life, he guards you. protects you.

if anyone ever found out about your relationship? yeah. you’d have the highest level of security. no one’s touching you. not on his watch.

⸻

📅 dating him is… overwhelming.

for him. not you. he’s a mess lol. after his blue spring days, he doesn’t really know how to be someone’s boyfriend. how to handle himself and another person.

plus his schedule? disaster. barely has time for himself.

but no matter how chaotic it gets—he can’t ignore how deeply he loves you.

⸻

🎁 it starts simple.

playful flirting.

corny pickup lines that make you groan but secretly smile.

small souvenirs from missions—like “this reminded me of you!” (it’s a weird keychain. it’s ugly. but it’s yours now.)

he loves seeing your reactions too much to stop.

⸻

💿 as your boyfriend… he’s trying. really.

he’s not emotionally dumb—he’s just never done this before.

you cry? he panics. jokes it off. not because he’s cruel but because he’s never had to comfort softness. he’s been trained to survive, not to be tender.

but over time—through trust, love, late-night talks—he gets better.

he starts telling you about his day. the heavy stuff. the parts of himself he never shares.

⸻

🤍 intimacy scares him.

not because he doesn’t want it. because it means being vulnerable. and that’s dangerous.

but with you, it’s different. there’s no threat. just warmth.

sex isn’t just sex—it’s closeness. soul-binding. the first time feels like giving you every part of himself and realizing you’ll take care of it.

sometimes he will take out his frustrations in bed and fold you like a pretzel in bed and rant to you about the higher ups like you can even say a word.

⸻

🍼 father gojo supremacy.

boyfriend? complicated.

father? 10/10.

he adores his kids.

he treats his students like his own, so imagine his actual children.

matching sunglasses, sneaking them onto safe missions, turning cursed technique training into a game.

he’s so unserious. and so, so proud.

⸻

a lil extras:

– he has a whole album of you on his phone. he scrolls through it when he misses you

– his lockscreen? candid photo of you laughing w/ his students

– if you fall asleep before he comes home, he’ll lie beside you and whisper what he didn’t get to say

– if you’re mad at him: “oh? you hate me now? wow. ok.” very dramatic. ugh you think it’s dumb but also find it funny.

– cuddling? it’s your idea. even when he literally pulls you into his lap.

– he WILL do the spider-man upside-down kiss. no warning.

– if you text him “i love you”, he screenshots it. every time.

– tries to get your kid to call him “king gojo.” fails. keeps trying anyway as a joke.

————————————————————————

sorry anon this took longer than expected haha. i love this guy and had to word it right, and also i have to type with one hand since i cut my thumb yesterday but hope u enjoy it!! :D

[07121989]

Hey🥰 Do you think you could talk more about Gojo and how you would characterize him? Thank you!!!!!

hello!! ^_^ and ofc!! i feel like when it comes with gojo i have so many endless possibilities on how he is and who he is as a person haha he’s a good written character to me

is there a specific thing you’ll like me to talk about or just in general? :P

[07121989]

watched the new jjk movie recently!

- such a cute film! i enjoyed watching these cuties back on the screen, and loving the cute photos at the end of the film as well as the jujutsu stroll in the beginning of the movie. :D got a mini poster entering to go to my seat ft. my satosugu ita bag >_<.

(toji back on screen oh please) i will definitely rewatch tbh haha.

[07121989]

satoru gojo is better off dead.

————————————————————————

there’s just something about him I feel like no matter what, he never gets boring. His story can be added, but never repeated. I feel like majority of the fandom overlooks s. gojo with dividing ourselves into two parties. One side being over-sexualizing him without seeing his actual potential and the other side babying him. ironically, the two sides still fail to realize just how in depth his storyline can actually go.

i feel like many don’t accept the fact that gojo would be better off dead. It sounds cruel, I know! But hear me out.

it took death to bring s. gojo what he needed to feel- a peace without burdens. he was never at peace living. The moment he was born, he was used as a trophy. A symbol for the gojo clan to hold up while they use him as a shield. his strength is a blessing and a curse, something that he was born with and the one thing that was always going to be the death of him. literally. with everyone else around you seeing as someone you haven’t even thought about yourself can take a toll.

which makes suguru geto so important in his life. you see, satoru wasn’t afraid of death. No, not at that point anymore. he had someone waiting for him on the other side. he accepted his faith, he knew what battling sukuna could lead to. he’s at peace with the one person who made him feel human.

————————————————————————-

a/n: haiiiii :D it’s been awhile lol. i’ve been in japan for awhile and haven’t been updating much since. wanted to blabber on and on about gojo again cus lowkey miss him 💔 will eventually write actual stories soon!

[slttygeto]

need a long ass fanfic thats gonna distract me from my misery

[07121989]

satoru gojo - the misconception

a small drabble

—————————————————————————

when it comes to s. gojo, many people like to not only mischaracterize him, but also take words out of context from official media. no, satoru is not a cheater— nor would he be unfaithful. he just wouldn’t have time even for himself to enjoy an actual relationship, hints why he couldn’t be tie down.

but if he could, oh he would.

this is the same man who yearned for his best friend who he only ever had in his high school years. Barely even two years, and managed to try and follow behind the one and only person he ever felt a real, raw connection towards to.

he wouldn’t need to be pampered financially. If anything, he wanted to be showered in affection. He was weak for your kisses, how delicate and soft your lips usually were, how the two of you cuddled up together and the amount of attention you give him. Even if it was barely a minute.

he would be hopelessly devoted to you. He could give you his own beating heart to you if he could. Even the strongest could be weak. He would kiss the feet you walk on, not physically— or maybe. Satoru cares too much. Even if he never shows it, he find himself loving more than he should. And even with his doubts and his own fears of committing as well as loving, he will still find himself loving you. even if he forced himself to try and tell himself he was better off alone.

—————————————————————————

a small lil note on gojo thoughts lololol . tired of the cheating scenarios of my king who would probably yearn even in the next lifetime

[07121989]

𝘄𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 - 𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘂 𝗴𝗼𝗷𝗼

sypnosis. your dreams with Satoru coming to an end after the 'shinjuku showdown' fight aftermath.

contents. hurt/no comfort, canon-typical violence, blood, major character death, emotional distress, angst, fiancé!gojo.

word count. 1k

—————————————————————————

Life had a way for screwing him over.

When Satoru Gojo thought about death, he brushed it off. The strongest can’t die, he used to say. Almost thinking it as some sort of joke or an insult towards him. He believed—deep down—that he’d be the one sorcerer to walk away without regrets. Or at least, that he’d be exempt from them.

But after the fight with Sukuna in Shinjuku on December 24th, 2018?

He realized just how wrong he was.

Even after declaring victory, he didn’t quite expect Sukuna to stop right there and then. One second of letting his guard down was all it took. One second to cost him everything.

There’s so much blood. The metallic scent hangs heavy in the air as Satoru lies on the ground he once fought beneath—his body in two halves, cleaved straight through his Infinity. He’s barely conscious now, slipping in and out. Something he never thought would happen. Not to him.

Everything hurts. God, he forgot just how bad this felt ever since his fight with Toji Fushiguro. His one and only slip up, he thought. It was almost like deja vu for the man. But not hurting as much as seeing you cry.

When he hears your voice tremble—*“I just got you back”—*something in him became aware of something he hadn’t realize yet. All this time, putting work above, rushing for the thrill of not only fighting but his goals as well made him realize it wasn’t just him being affected, but everyone else who admired him.

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out, voice raw and fragile. Even speaking hurts.

Years.

Months of finally having peace. Of holding your hand without fear. Of knowing you were his, and he was yours. Of talking about wedding venues and late-night takeout. And now—just like that—it was all crumbling.

You told yourself you wouldn’t cry. No. You shouldn’t cry.

He was going to make it.

He had to.

But the more blood you saw, the more you saw his eyes flutter closed, the more that belief began to feel like a fantasy.

You had just gotten him back.

You were just about to get married.

You were finally building the life you dreamed of.

You shook your head, rejecting his apology. “It’s okay. Really, it’s okay…” you whispered, your voice nearly breaking. You stood at his side, frozen. Paralyzed. You didn’t care who was watching—his students, Shoko—it didn’t matter. You were more vulnerable than ever, and all you could see was him.

Then he asked if you were mad at him. Even now, even like this, he was worried about your feelings. About where you stood. About hurting you. “No… no, don’t say that…” you mumbled, finally stepping forward to take his hand. Your outfit was soaked in blood—his blood. Your eyes were red, your face flushed. You looked like a mess, but none of it mattered.

You wanted everyone to see what had been done to him.

To feel even a fraction of what you and Satoru felt.

His eyes drooped again, and panic set in. Was time running out already? “I’m not mad. I’ll never be mad,” you sniffled. Your voice cracked again. Even through every fight, every harsh word, your devotion never wavered. Satoru managed a weak smile, relief softening his battered face. Pain rippled through him as he leaned into your touch. His eyes fluttered closed, and a shallow, rattling breath escaped him. Speaking was getting harder.

When his gaze met yours again, it faltered. You were covered in his blood. You looked completely broken. “You don’t… have to see me like this…” he whispered. The words were barely air. But you couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“I love you.”

It was time.

Those words had waited too long. Always there, always understood—but never said. They weren’t casual words. Not for you. They carried weight. Meaning.

Real. Serious.

That’s why he looked so shocked.

“I love you, Satoru Gojo,” you said again, firmer this time. Your voice wavered, but it was clear.

If he wasn't in his current state, he would've probably taken that statement as a joke to deflect the tension between them. But Satoru couldn't deny the sincerity of your words, and the emotion behind them made his heart ache. For the first time in a long time, he felt vulnerable, even if he was close to death.

He squeezed your hand—weakly, but with intent. His lips parted, trying to reply, but his throat clenched. No words came.

You didn’t need them. Not really.

“I will always love you,” you whispered.

You wanted to hear it back—just once. But you didn’t ask. You wouldn’t put that weight on him. Not now.

Leaning down, you kissed him.

A soft kiss. Gentle. Barely there.

It felt like your first kiss—right outside Jujutsu High. The day when you two finally became teachers, you two also confessed to one another. The sun had been warm, and despite being adults, you’d giggled like kids.

You pulled away, lips stained in his blood, and studied his face. Your love had always been complicated. Messy. Raw. But he never doubted you. You never doubted him.

Unspoken, but always understood.

You were already thinking back.

Your first mission.

Your first kiss.

Your first time.

Your first date.

Your first everything.

You remembered the quiet talks about a future. About family. About souvenirs from the missions he will have outside of the country as a makeup. Sharing strawberry cake after midnight when you two had cravings. Making Kikufuku—his favorite—and making a disaster of your kitchen.

And then came the regret.

Not the big things.

The little ones.

Regretting the times you scolded him over trivial things.

Regretting not buying that stupid cake he nagged you about all day.

Regretting the times you said, “Not today,” when he wanted to hang out.

Regretting not savoring every single second—even though you thought you had. Because it’s always the littlest things that stay with you when you’re losing someone. The things you thought you’d always have. But you weren’t the only one with regrets.

His?

He didn’t do enough.

He worries—despite all his strength—that nothing truly changed. That the higher-ups will keep failing the next generation. That more students will die too soon. That the cycle will never end.

He should’ve done more.

He could’ve done more.

He didn’t even want to believe he was really here, bleeding out and thinking about his regrets. He wanted to laugh at himself for even thinking that way, but he couldn’t run away from it. Not anymore.

He was getting weaker. Silently he was telling himself this was really it. Fighting the urge to stay awake, his time was coming to an end. Even with death, he hadn’t felt this peaceful since the day he was born. Being the only time in his life that he was ever at peace.

The last thing Satoru feels before he closes his eyes is your kiss. And despite the pain, despite the blood and the agony— that moment where his body become unfamiliar to the feeling of comfort and relaxation—

He savors it.

He savors you.

—————————————————————————

note. this is my first time publishing on tumblr! i’ve been using my notes app as a journal and thought a small wip could be shared :). thank u xo