you know if you think about it, if youre a system and use multiple accounts to vote, it's not voter fraud. because milgram itself counts each alter as a separate individual with their own rules
you know if you think about it, if youre a system and use multiple accounts to vote, it's not voter fraud. because milgram itself counts each alter as a separate individual with their own rules
while it does seem like most people are being pretty sympathetic and nice to amane this time around, it is kinda funny that i STILL see some people going "b-but if we forgive her, we're just telling her the cult is right and that she did nothing wrong... đ„ș"
like at this point it doesnt even make me that angry to see anymore. im just like
when Amane first raises her fist after her mom tells her to call the doctor, she doesn't even look angry yet... it almost looks automatic, like that's just what she knows she's supposed to do in this situation. then only after landing the first blow is when we see her angry
it really goes to show just how ingrained this stuff was into her
thinking about Amane and how being told "I love you" / "this is love" / "I do this because I love you" as you're being abused completely twists how you relate to others and isolates you from human connection.
being abused and hurt while told they hate you or don't care about you makes sense. it still hurts so so so much, but it's at least easier to digest and understand what's going on.
being abused under the guise of love and that they care for you soo much and want the best for you so that's why they're doing this... is not something you can understand without changing what the basic definition of "love" is for it to be inclusive of what they're doing to you.
amane resenting shidou for being able to do the thing she wanted to do (provide medical attention) without any consequences or punishment... SOOOO real of her. So Fucking Real. like its not a very palatable Trauma Trait, but it Exists and is Real and is Valid.
like. yeah. sometimes you see people being able to do the things you got punished for doing and you get Fucking Angry at them. bc its not fair. you get petty. you look down on them. bc its the only way you can feel better about yourself. the only way you can make sense of why you were treated that way without having to face the Reality of it all is that you were treated how you ought to have been. you were treated how every kid should.
but then you get evidence thrown in your face that people in your life were unfair and cruel to you. that you didn't HAVE to be treated that way. that wasn't actually how it was supposed to go. you just got unlucky. there was no actual meaning or reason to it all, to your pain. and it fucking makes your blood boil!!!! like??? huh???
you're angry at this person for being able to get away with stuff you weren't able to, and you feel the need to punish them in the same way you were. the cycle of it all... rinse and repeat... do onto others as you would have them do onto you...
Amane's parents are gentle with her when not punishing her, theyre loving and kind, at least at first glance. I think that's why she was so uncomfortable with how shidou treated her, at least subconciously she associated that gentleness with danger. It's common for child abuse victims to feel suspicious of kindness after all.
Amane Momose Trial 3 Voice Drama Translation - Life and Death
Here's the translation doc!
Here's the voice drama to listen to as you read!
This time, I also made a tumblr version for those who want to read directly ^^!
If you decide to use this translation, no need to ask for permissions but please credit me @MaauSmt, thank you.
Es: Amane.
Amane: I understand, warden-sanâŠYour regrets, conflicts. You are lost.
Warden-san, you who are lost in this chaotic prison. Wonât you follow me? I shall guide you.
Es: âŠWithout even a greeting and you jumped right into your act huh?Â
Unfortunately, I wonât be humoring you.
Amane: Then will you keep suffering? âŠAs you continue overcoming trials, there is nothing shameful about carrying a staff known as faith within your heart.Â
Surely it will be of help to you.
Es: Youâre right⊠if I were able to do that, how easy things wouldâve been.
Amane: Hm?
Es: I intend to keep facing myself until the very end, with this prison.
Amane: âŠWithin the time we have not met, you have changed a lot.
Es: I could say the same for you, Amane.
Though you were pretty unstable last we met in the Second Trial, youâve calmed down.
Well⊠still you donât look all that great to me.
Amane: Thatâs not true at all! Iâm really thankful to you for forgiving me.Â
Either way, thanks to that I was able to establish my own religion!
âŠConsequently, Iâve also realized my own mistake!
Es: Mistake?
Amane: Yes⊠Iâve been wondering about something.Â
âWhy are there so few believers?â Itâs easy-talk, this MILGRAM is simply unfit.Â
Yes, in short, religion updates itself to reflect the state of the world. For MILGRAM, it changes its shape to help alleviate peopleâs worries.
Es: So you mean.. within the walls of MILGRAM, a new religion emerged?
Amane: Yes! I was wrong, the religion I believed in up until now was incomplete! Thatâs why there were fools, rebels who dared to break the rulesâŠ
I could just create a new one myself! My own âOriginalâ!
Amane: Of course not! Spreading my name is not the intent, it exists to alleviate the pains of those within MILGRAM! ...Like him.
Es: Youâre referring to Fuuta, right?
Amane: Indeed, Kajiyama Fuuta. He is my first apprentice.Â
Es: âŠ
Amane: Is anything amiss?
He, who has fallen and became lost, was granted the light of âFaithâ by me⊠Not you.
Es: That⊠is undeniable.Â
I failed to save him.
Amane: As long as there is faith, no matter how hard the circumstances are, people will always find it in themselves to stand up countless times. To be able to offer them a helping hand, is nothing but bliss!Â
Es: Even if they committed a mistake⊠they could still be redeemed.
Amane: Youâre getting it! It is that hope that connects people to the right paths!
Es: But if they died⊠then what is there to redeem?
Amane: âŠHuh?
Es: Even if your teachings are correct, I canât affirm Shidouâs death.
There is no doubt that you are responsible for Shidouâs death, no?
Amane: Kirisaki Shidou. Yes, I have purged him.
Es: P-Purge?
Amane: Precisely. He violated our doctrine, even after several warnings.Â
Es: âŠMahiru too, died because of his absence. Were you aware it would come to that?
Amane: Yes⊠Both those who seek medical treatment and those who provide it are breaking the doctrine.Â
I just took it into my own hands⊠Or should I say..Â
Itâs divine punishment.
Es: âŠAre you seriously saying that?
Amane: Correct.
Es: ⊠[stumbles]
Why? Why is it forbidden?
Amane: Illness is a trial granted by God.Â
People ought to face their trials.Â
Those who run away from the trials, those who disrupt the trials, obviously they are not to be forgiven.
Es: âŠIs that so?
Amane: Itâs just me, but, itâs surprising.
I thought you would be more worked up about it.
Es: Yeah. I should be.
Amane: Whatâs your stance on this?
Es: Itâs not something that can be expressed easily. Iâm overwhelmed by sadness.
Amane: Hm.
Es: I am deeply saddened.Â
About Mahiru- about Shidou- I wished I could have gotten to know them more.Â
Thatâs all I think about these days, even if itâs too late.
I am too, saddened that you killed people.
Amane: The hellâs up with that?
Es: Iâve been thinking hard about it- Ever since Iâve known of their deaths.Â
Even so- I still canât muster up any feelings of hatred for you.Â
I.. Iâm just.. sad.
Amane: What is it with you, for godâs sakeâŠ?Â
Playing the victim⊠Looking at me with pity..!Â
I have already warned them multiple times!
Again.. And again and again and again and again and AGAIN!
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND BY NOW!
USE THAT SMART AND CLEVER HEAD OF YOURS, UNDERSTAND WHY I HAD TO MURDER MY OWN MOTHER- WHO VIOLATED THE DOCTRINE- BY MYSELF!
Es: ..Yeah.
Amane: IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE IF YOU JUST HAD STOPPED HIM! NO ONE ELSE BUT YOU!
Es: Did you wish for me to stop him?
Amane: Ha-ah?!
Es: Did you want me to stop you from your own wrongdoings?
Amane: âŠ
Es: Did you truly want to kill him?
Amane: Itâs obvious that those who violate the doctrine must be purged.Â
Es: Amane. Did you really hate him?
Amane: âŠI hated him.
He treated me like a kid. No matter how many times I tell him off- that I didnât like it- he still reached out to me.
I wish he had just taken the hintâ!
Even if I avoid it- avoid and avoid- he still treats me as if I was one of his own children.
Itâs really.. unbearable.
Es: Was Mahiru like that too?
Amane: Yes.. Yes! Youâre right!
That person has always unnecessarily meddled with me!
Talking about things like love, affection, sweets, fashion- always going off about mundane topics!Â
Things I donât need- I- âŠNothing but a big bother.
Es: Was that your real feelings?
Amane: They are my real thoughts.
Es: Didnât you want to take their hands?
Amane: âŠPlease. Enough.
Es: Couldnât there have been a future where you would have taken their hands?
Amane: âŠShut up..!
Es: Didnât you say you made a new religion?Â
Isnât it up to you to show them the way- overrule the old teachings and help them update and adapt?
Why.. Why would you uphold the prohibition of medical treatment?
You.. were tormented by it too, werenât you?
Amane: âŠHow noisy..
Es: Your new doctrine grants people happiness, doesnât it?Â
Then isnât it fine to change it into something that makes you happy too? Despiteâ
Amane: SHUT UP!!Â
Es: âŠ!
Amane: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!
Es: Amane-
Amane: If I went against that belief-Â
THEN FOR WHAT REASON DID I KILL MY MOM FOR!
What was my entire life- 12 years of living for?!Â
If I were to ignore their actions, wouldnât that make my life a joke?!
I killed my mom for the same reason- My mom was like that too! If I had let her go, what meaning would there be left in my life?!Â
IF IT WERE THAT EASY TO BREAK A RULE, THEN WHAT WAS THE POINT OF PROTECTING IT?!
WOULDNâT IT BE ALL PLAY-PRETEND THEN?! I had to protect it through any means possible! IT CANâT BE ANY OTHER WAY!!...Â
If not.. Then what was the point of everything?!
âŠTell meâŠ
Es: You knew the truth all along, didnât you?Â
Amane: NoâŠ
Es: That you didnât want to killâŠ
Amane: NoâŠ
Es: You thought it was the only way left⊠didnât you?
Amane: NoâŠ!
Es: Apparently, victims of childhood abuse tend to develop a tendency to justify the abuse as a way to shield themselves from the pain. By distorting their perception of reality, they can protect their own hearts.
Amane: âŠDonât act like you know what youâre talking about.. Donât talk about it please⊠I wasnât a victim of abuseâŠ
Es: Yeah. Sure, if you want to think about it that way.
You donât have to come to terms with it now, you have your whole life ahead to figure it out.Â
You are- No, me too. Weâre still kids, closures and such can wait.
The things that you concluded today might just be proven otherwise tomorrow, and thatâs fine. Itâs what I think.Â
Amane: âŠHâŠHypothetically, is it okay to be incorrect?Â
Even if it will cause trouble for others, is it okay if I change my resolve?
Es: I think itâs okay. In MILGRAM, I feel like that too. What I see is not what everything is. Everything keeps on changing.
Amane: âŠIs that true?
Es: Your teachings were like that too right? Those misguided can still be redeemed, wasnât that what you stated?
Amane: âŠ!
Es: You admitting your wrongdoings is the foundation for that.
Amane: Ha⊠Shidou-san⊠when he was being killed by me⊠he said itâs not too late for me to start overâŠ
Es: ShidouâŠ
Amane: WhyâŠ? Why did he, up until his last breath, cared forâŠ
Es: He has always been extending his hand to you. Mahiru as well.
No.. It wasnât just the two of them⊠Other people too, if you look at your surroundings, youâll know.
Amane: HaâŠhaâŠ
Es: The next time someone offers you a hand- I want you to take it without hesitation.
Thatâs what I wish for from the bottom of my heart.
Amane: HaâŠah!
*Amane cries*
[bell rings]
Es: Have you calmed down?
Amane: I haveâŠ
Es: Itâs time. This is our farewell.
Amane: âŠI know. Warden-san.
Es: What is it?
Amane: Why did you change..?
Es: Change?
Amane: The warden from before looked like they were being controlled by something, like a puppet.Â
And today, the one who talked to me wasâŠ
Es: Hm?
Amane: Changed of sorts..? Wasnât it scary for you? Why did youâŠ
Es: Surely, it must be because I made many mistakes.Â
I lost too many things and I just couldnât bear living with it.
You guys are murderers.
Amane, you have killed people too. And itâs not something that can be easily forgiven.
From an outsiderâs perspective, you are no better than a criminal. To the point where theyâll just think of you as a villain with no remorse.
But I know.Â
What motives you guys had, the inner conflict you guys went through.Â
Each of you guys are the way you are because of your lives.
Iâm not trying to defend murderers-Â
Itâs just, when there are feelings and thoughts involved, I donât want to just ignore it.
Amane: Warden-sanâŠ
Es: Itâs just as you have said, itâs scary.Â
I think you may not forgive us.Â
But, thatâs what I want to do.
Amane: IâŠ
Es: Itâs from now on. Iâll just do it how I have been. Figuring out the answer as I go.
Amane, you and me, weâll figure things out from here.
Amane: Yes⊠Warden-san, me too, Iâll think about it once more onwards.Â
I donât know what kind of feeling it will become but⊠Iâll try my best to learn to accept it.
Es: If youâre scared, itâs okay to rely on those around you.
Amane: That kind of person isnât around me anymore-
Es: There is. That guy you saved.
Amane: Fuuta-san..?
Es: Your feelings of wanting to save someone is real, and there are still those out there looking for help. That is unmistakable.
Amane: Yes.
Es: Heâs a clumsy guy and a bit awkward but- Heâll lend you a hand.
See you, Amane.
Amane: Warden-san. Iâll pray for your way ahead to be filled with good things and prosper.
Es: Oh..?
Amane: No.. I just thought it would be great if good things happened to warden-san.
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