[valtsv]

might fuck around and let nature reclaim me

[wordproblemapoligist]

does this mean you’re going feral or just lying in the dirt for a while

[valtsv]

yeah

[leasthelpful]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[schandoor]

modern warfare

[cheaphalloweencostume]

why did my mom end this text with a wink

[kibumkim]

she’s the prowler

[mainflopgirl]

if im gonna be famous i want to be flo rida famous. this man has three billboard hot 100 #1 hits and no one can name a single thing about him except for the fact that he is from florida. no annoying stans, no controversy. just radio friendly bops. this is the type of cryptic celebrity status i wish to achieve. he just pops up once every few years makes a hit song then goes back to wrestling alligators or recounting elections…..or whatever it is that floridians even do. he allegedly has a net worth of $30 million dollars and i dont even know what he looks like. has anyone ever seen a picture of this man??? no. can anyone of you even tell me his real name without googling it first??? no. all we truly know is that he likes them apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur that she had on but we dont even know what HE was wearing in that situation do we??? this man has the right idea i respect you flo rida i really do

[unclefather]

Young, dumb and full of gum

[unclefather]

gum stays in your body for 7 years and i eat a lot of it

[sad-pandad]

That’s actually a myth! If you went digging through your yummy shits you’ll find chewed gum looking about the same as it did when you swallowed it!

[unclefather]

my whats? 

[dankxsinatra]

This is the post that cost Verizon 1.1 billion

[baetology]

Stop letting your heart and your pussy choose your men.

[trapbinch]

I’m confused, what is left…

[trapbinch]

Oh nvm lmao my brain. You right sis lol you is right

[baetology]

You really forgot your whole brain.

[pussylipgloss]

she read this post with her pussy

[blus0x]

You can only REBLOG THIS TODAY

[hungwy]

Gonna b honest. A lot of hot ppl go to art museums. I’m one of them

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

im 2 ugly they won’t let me in

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

that and my shirt that says “i eat oil paintings when security guards aren’t looking”

[pukicho]

Do you have any regrets?

Absolutely! Thanks for the ask

[kaijutegu]

My fucking roomba woke me up at 5 am to tell me she’s stuck near a cliff.

[kaijutegu]

The base of the fan counts as a cliff now, i see.

[amayabikuni]

He was very scared

[emmersdrawberry]

save him

[imstunning]

reblog if ur a fish whore

[sexycraisinthanos]

[whitepeopletwitter]

Screw it

[thebatfaminsta]

One time my five year old sister and I went in a hike in the woods and I told her “now if we come across a bear in here, I will throw myself in front of it and you run away!” And she looked me dead in the eye and said “No sorry I called it.” I was like, “what? You want to die? You’re five!” She just looked into the abyss and said, “I have been here too long.” And honestly? Big Mood.

[candiikismet]

“I have been here too long.” I’m through

[thepookah]

Damn

[this-antigravity-deactivated201]

when i was like 6 i made a poptropica character and the oldest age you could pick was 15 and i distinctly remember saying “good thing nobody lives that long”

[composedofnows]

[guy]

mood

[dankmemesforsadteens]

[groake]

…. I don’t fear God, but I do fear the automatic stapler in the staff room