summary: after endgame, you and natasha get that dance she promised five years ago
warnings: slight angst w/ fluff, nat doesn’t die because i can’t handle that again
————
“I’m so sorry Y/n.” Natasha says as you cry into her shoulder, both of you taking a knee as the Avengers pay respect to your father. Her arm is wrapped around you tightly as Pepper cries besides you, one of her hands on your back as you both mourn.
Pepper has always been like a mother figure to you, your father meeting her when you were young.
Natasha wordlessly wipes a few tears from her own cheeks as the battlefield falls into silence, seeing as your shoulders shake with each sob that wracks your body.
————
There isn’t a dry eye at Tony’s funeral, the battle finally being over but at what cost?
Natasha is there by your side the whole time, a supportive hand grasping your own as you say goodbye to your father. "He saw you as family, you know." You whisper as you silently wipe the tears from your cheeks. "Hm?" Nat hums softly as her focus gets drawn back to reality, her hand rubbing small circles on your back as she looks at you. "My father. He always considered you family, even if you were closed off at the beginning.” You say and she nods her head, gently pulling you close and kissing your temple. “And you’re my family, Y/n. Your father was an especially big part of it.” She whispers and you hold her hand, Morgan leaning against your thigh as you three watch Pepper send her husband off. “Can we get a cheeseburger once we’re done?” Morgan asks as she tugs at your dress, a questioning look on her face as she looks up at you. You can’t help but smile at Morgan’s innocence, wanting to protect her from the cruel world for as long as possible. “Of course bug, I’ll even let you get a milkshake.” You squeeze her tiny hand and she smiles, you making a silent promise to take care of Morgan like you promised your father.
After the funeral, Natasha and you silently head back inside, both of you quietly parting ways with a soft kiss. “I’ll meet you back at the house.” Nat whispers and you nod your head, the redhead pulling you into a quick hug as you close your eyes. “You’re so strong, moya lyubov'.” She hums before letting you go, a soft smile on your face as she kisses your temple. You both let go of each other and you head over to Morgan and Pepper, gently picking up your baby sister and kissing her cheek. “You ready to go, bug?” You ask and your sister nods her head, Pepper loving the immediate connection the both of you had when you got restored from the blip. Pepper and Tony had Morgan in the five years that you were gone, raising her like you were apart of her life all along. That’s why when you saw the little girl for the first time, she immediately jumped into your arms, squealing a little “Y/n!” as she clung onto you.
“I’ll drop her back home in an hour, mom.” You say and Pepper nods her head, stepping forward and gently kissing her two daughters foreheads. “I love you guys.” She says and Morgan and you both smile, “We love you too.”
///
“Two burgers and milkshakes for the ladies.” The server smiles as she sets down, you softly thanking her as Morgan immediately digs in. You smile as you eat your fries, sipping on the strawberry milkshake that you ordered for yourself. It’s quiet for a while as you watch Morgan eat her food, both of you still in your black funeral dresses because you couldn’t be bothered to change before you headed to the diner. “Where’s Daddy?” Morgan asks after a while and your heart immediately stops in your chest, your baby sister looking at you as she sips on her milkshake. “Morgan, dad..he’s gone.” You say carefully and she looks at you curiously, kicking her legs a bit. “Well, when is he gonna be back?” She asks and your heart sinks a bit more, you’ve fought aliens and titans but this by far is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. “He’s not going to be back for a long, long time Morgan.” You say and she pouts, kicking her legs a bit more as she looks at you. “Listen bug.” You say as you get off your seat and kneel down in front of her, for once being at eye level with your sister. “Dad passed away because he was protecting everyone here on earth. He was protecting uncle Peter, and mom, and all of the other Avengers. But most importantly he was protecting you.” You say as you poke her gently, a smile giggle coming from your sisters lips. “But even if dad isn’t with us right now, he’s always gonna be watching over us. He’s gonna be there on your first day of school and be there when you graduate. Dad is always gonna be with us, you know why?” You ask and Morgan shakes her head, watching as you place your hand on your chest. “Because he will forever live in here.” You say and gently reach out to touch her chest, feeling her heartbeat under your fingertips. “And in here.” You smile at the end of your sentence and so does Morgan, wiping a tear away you didn’t know that had fallen. “Now, why don’t we finish up these burgers and head home?”
////
Once you drop Morgan off with Pepper, you finally head home to Natasha, not seeing it since the battle at Wakanda five years ago.
See, you were one of the victims of the blip, fading away in Natasha’s arms as you tell her to tell your dad that you love him. It was terrifying, seeing the look on your fiancées face as you turned to dust in her arms.
A wave of emotions washes over you as you open the door to the house, smelling the familiar scent of detergent Natasha buys. You walk inside and take off your shoes, closing the door behind you before heading to the living room. The crackly music of the vinyl flows around you as you walk into the open room, the sunlight illuminating everything in a soft orange glow. 
“Kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again”
Natasha is still in her outfit from the funeral, eyes immediately meeting yours as you walk into the room. Wordlessly, your bodies are drawn to each other, the redhead still not believing that you’re here after all these years.
“It’s been a long, long time”
Her hand finds your waist as she pulls you close, keeping her gaze trained on you like if she blinked you’d disappear again. Putting your hand on Natasha’s shoulder, you intertwine your free hands together, both of you slowly getting into a sway.
“Haven’t felt like this my dear since I can’t remember when, it’s been a long, long time”
“I thought you were gone forever..” Natasha whispers quietly, voice cracking as she gazes at you. Looking up at her, you pull her closer, resting your forehead on hers as you close your eyes. “I’m right here Natasha. and I’m never leaving you ever again.”
“You’ll never know how many dreams I dream about you.”
Swaying around the living room, Natasha finally cracks a small smile on her face, the house finally feeling warm and complete with you in it.
“Or just how empty they all seem without you..”
Natasha remembers the first night she came home after the blip, jaw clenched and eyes shining with unshed tears. The hallways were quiet and lifeless, bedsheets cold with your lingering scent. Natasha could barely stand to be in the house for a while, a wave of emotions flooding over her as she was surrounded by things that reminded her of you.
Tilting her head in a silent plea, both of your lips meet in the middle. It’s a soft and desperate kiss, filled with all the emotions of those nights alone with only the memory of you. Words can’t express how much Natasha had missed you, the way your lips felt on hers, the way you laughed, how you smiled, hell she even missed the arguments and the late nights where she would worry sick about you coming back from missions. She missed everything about you.
“So, kiss me once. Then kiss me twice. Then kiss me once again.”
Following the song, the kiss continues desperately, your hand finding the back of Natasha’s neck to make the kiss deeper. You never wanted to leave this again. You never wanted to leave her again.
summary: Soulmates cursed to never be together, each life always longing for a love that they've never met..or so they think.
warnings: temporary character deaths, reincarnation?, violence, self-sacrifice, angst with a happy ending, implied sexual content, language
based off of Billie Eilish's cover of "the end of the fucking world" originally produced by Rob Dickinson
one life is based on the film “underwater” by William Eubank
word count: 8,344
---- = separate life
/ = a skip in time, same life
Your chest is heaving as you pry open the door to the last safe house in the city, everything turning to hell ever since the “End of the World” started happening. Smoldering flakes of ash were falling from the sky and the bombs were getting set off every few minutes, absolute mayhem engulfing the world around you. This safe house was located on the city's outskirts, technically not disaster-proof but far away enough to be human-proof from the rest of the world.
You belong to one of the major power families that run your district, your father and mother getting killed earlier this morning because of it. The y/l/n's have always been feuding with the other families in control, everyone always hungry for power and willing to do anything to let their family have it.
Stepping inside the house, your boots creak on the wood, the door slowly closing behind you. Your gun feels heavy on your waist as you cautiously take a few steps forward, listening for any signs that someone else might be in the safe house with you.
You hear another creek of the floorboards and in one swift motion, you pull out your gun, keeping your finger resting on the trigger. You move quietly to the kitchen where the noise came from, arm raised and aimed forward. Almost simultaneously, both of you sidestep and see each other, the corners of your lips twitching up as you see Natalia in all her glory. "Y/n." Natasha greets curtly and you nod your head, both of you aiming guns at one another. "Natalia." You say in the same tone before the ground shakes, rattling the house. "Running away like always?" Nat taunts and your eyes quickly scan over her features, taking in the disheveled and tired look on her face.
"You were here first." You comment and she rolls her eyes, adjusting the grip on her gun. "I'm gonna have to kill you now, huh?" She says and you quirk an eyebrow, still on edge as you watch her body language. "Do you really want to kill me? Or does your family just want to?" You ask and her eyebrows furrow, you not wanting to deal with this stupid family feud while the world is ending around you. When the redhead doesn't answer, you shake your head, a breathy laugh escaping your lips as you look at Natalia. "What happened to us, Nat? We used to be so close." You say and Nat sighs, glancing down at her gun before making eye contact with you. "Family happened Y/n. Families got greedy for power and we got dragged into it. A Romanova couldn't be associated with a y/l/n, could it?" She says and you purse your lips together, eyebrows furrowing slightly as you make a decision.
"I don't want to spend my last few moments on earth fighting you, Talia." You say as you slowly lower your gun, Natasha's shoulders relaxing slightly at the action. "What are you saying, Y/n?" Nat asks and you look at your childhood best friend with a certain desperation in your eyes. "I'm asking you to put our family feuds aside, just this once." You pause briefly before speaking. "I don't want to be alone when the world ends." You say softly and Nat contemplates your offer, only taking a few moments to make up her mind. Natalia nods her head and slowly puts the gun down, giving you a soft "okay" as she looks at you. You nod your head and echo her statement, whispering a soft "okay." before holstering your gun.
/
You’re sitting on the front porch as you watch the world around you fall apart, sipping on some old beer you found in the fridge. The soft opening of the front door causes your head to turn, seeing Natalia step onto the porch with a cigarette in hand.
You’ve been listening to the radio for the past hour, hearing the news cover the chaos as you sit there with the wind blowing in your face.
Natalia doesn't say anything as slowly moves to sit down beside you, wordlessly offering you a hit of her cigarette. You shake your head and hold up your beer in a similar fashion, Nat shaking her head as well. The rustling of the grass and the crackling radio are the only things heard as you both look forward, Nat placing the cigarette between her lips and you taking a swig of your beer.
Tentatively, you place your head on Natalia's shoulder, trying to see how the other woman would react. You feel Nat tense up at your action and you internally panic, thinking that you stepped over a line. Sure, you could've done that when you both were little..but now you're all grown up, times have changed. You're about to pull away when Nat wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to her as she relaxes. There are no words exchanged as you lean into her side, Nat taking one last drag of her cigarette before tossing it on the ground. Crushing the nub with her boot, she makes sure it's exterminated, not wanting to start a fire (not like it matters though). You both sit there in a comfortable silence afterward, the radio droning on and on about how horrible the world is.
After a while, you decide to break the silence, still keeping your head on Nat's shoulder. "I love you, Talia." You say softly, feeling the warmth radiating off of the other woman. "What did you say?" She asks and your head turns slightly to look at her, trying to read her expression. "I love you, Talia." You repeat, lowering your head back down to her shoulder once you've made eye contact. "Always have, always will." You finish and wait for Natalia's response, wanting to see if she pulls away or not. Nat is quiet for a second before you feel her arm tightening around your waist, her head turning to kiss your temple softly. "I love you too, Y/n." She whispers, closing her eyes as she leaves her lips there. "I'm sorry that we drifted apart." Nat mumbles against your skin and you place your hand on her knee, rubbing your thumb in a small circle. "I'm sorry too." You say, planes flying overhead. "I've never hated you, you know. I just didn't want to disappoint my parents." Nat says and you nod your head, looking up at her and smiling softly. "I know Nat. I know." You say, bringing your hand up and gently brushing your fingertips along her jawline. Natalia leans into the touch and looks down at you, watching the way you look at her with such care that she hasn't seen in a while.
Your fingertips move down and you run your thumb over Nat's bottom lip, glancing into her eyes one more time before leaning up. You kiss Natalia delicately as she kisses back, eyes fluttering closed as her free hand cups your jaw.
Are you kissing her because it's the end of the world, or are you kissing her because you've been in love with your best friend ever since you were five? Either way, you're kissing her and my god her lips are soft.
You both pull away gently as you look at each other, sadness and regret in both of your eyes. Besides you, the radio continues to. crackle out the news.
Your breath catches in your throat and your heart rate speeds up, panic filling your chest as Natalia simply reaches over and shuts the radio off. “Shh hey, it’s gonna be okay.” Nat whispers as she pulls you closer to her chest. “I don’t want to die Talia.” You whisper as you cling onto the redhead, head burying into her neck and arms wrapping around her torso. “Five more minutes.” Nat repeats the phrase on the radio and you nod your head, taking in her scent. “Five more minutes.” You echo her as she hugs you tighter, both of you knowing that there isn’t enough time to escape. You’ve spent your whole lives avoiding and hating each other, so why continue doing it now.
“I wish we had more time.” You whisper and she nods her head, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Maybe in another life.” She whispers and you can only nod, sighing softly before leaning in to kiss her again.
And for those five minutes, Natalia just holds you, placing gentle kisses on your crown and repeating how much she loves you over and over again. “I’ll find you in the next life, and if not in that then in the next one after.” Nat promises and you nod your head, knowing your five minutes are about to be up. “I love you Talia.” You whisper as you close your eyes, holding onto her as tight as you possibly can. “I love you too, Y/n.” Nat whispers before resting her head on top of yours, closing her eyes as the warhead hits and a bright light surrounds the two of you.
----
"Car crash, 24 year old female, 35 year old male, falling in and out of consciousness." The radio dispatch lists off the information as the ambulance arrives at the scene, Natasha immediately jumping out of the back along with Steve. "I've got the girl, get the other car." Natasha orders and Steve nods his head, both paramedics heading separate ways. Natasha's eyes scan the scene as she sees a red car completely flipped upside down, running her way over there as she sees a bloody hand reaching out. "Please..help.." Nat hears a soft whimper as she drops down onto her knees, looking inside the car to try and assess the damage. Nat barely reacts as she sees you trapped by your seatbelt, trying to calm your breathing as blood pools on the roof of the car. "Hi my name is Natasha, I'm a paramedic and I'm here to help you." Nat introduces herself and you try and look at her, hands shaking as you grip at your cut. "Can you tell me what your name is darling?" She continues as she immediately gets to work, the car door already being ripped off in the crash. "I-I'm Y/n. Y/l/n..Y/f/n (your full name)." You say shakily, Natasha looking at your injuries. "Okay, Y/n. I'm gonna get you out of here, I just need you to keep on talking. Can you do that for me?" She asks and you nod your head, starting to talk about whatever comes to mind. "I- uhm I was born in (your home state or country), moved away from my mom and dad as soon as I could." You laugh softly at the statement before you wince, feeling Natasha put pressure on your wound. "Fuck." You hiss out and Nat whispers a soft "Sorry" before continuing. She shouldn't need to apologize, she was doing her job after all, but she had an odd desire to comfort you even when you were kinda bleeding out"It's okay.." You say before continuing, your vision focusing and unfocusing. "Uhm..I have a dog and my brother is gonna graduate in a few weeks. And I'm so fucking proud of him, I never told him how proud of him I was but I'm so fucking proud of him." You ramble and you don't notice Nat's eyes widen, seeing that if she moves you you'll bleed out within a minute. "An-And I've never found love, just fucking douchebags that I wasted my life on and now I'm gonna die without finding my person and I don't wanna die Nat..I don't wanna die." You choke out as you close your eyes, wanting this nightmare to be over already as a wave of deja vu washes over Natasha. "Hey okay look at me, look at me Y/n." Nat says as she gently cups your cheek, watching as your eyes slowly open. "Keep your eyes on me, okay? You've gotta stay conscious. You think you can do that for me?" She asks and you lean into her touch, mumbling something incomprehensible. "Can you repeat that for me, baby?" Nat asks and your head lolls down a bit, feeling lightheaded as Natasha tries to keep you awake. "Mmhm..should be easy..you're very pretty." You mumble out and Nat smiles softly, ready to get you out of the car. "Okay, my partner and I are going to move you but I want you to keep your eyes on me, don't look anywhere else." She says as Steve comes over to the two of you, already taking care of the male in the other car. "Severe lacerations to her torso and blunt force trauma to her temple. Seatbelt's keeping her in place." Nat gives Steve a brief rundown and he nods his head, lowering the stretcher onto the ground as Nat secures your neck in place. "Just to be safe." She says and you hum softly, their words muffled as they move in slow motion. "Okay we're going to move you on one..two..three.." Almost as if they were in synch, Steve and Nat get you out of the vehicle, Steve getting you secured onto the stretcher while Nat tries to keep you from bleeding out. "Start talking Y/n, I need to hear you talking." Natasha says as your blood soaks through the gauze, pooling under her gloved hands. Incomprehensible mumbles fall past your lips as you try and stay conscious, your entire body feeling numb to the pain. A soft whimper of discomfort is the last thing that you say before you fall quiet, Nat looking at you concerned. "Come on baby you
need to keep on talking." Natasha encourages you gently before nodding at Steve, both of them working quickly to get you into the ambulance. "Tell my parents that I love them..and tell my shithead of a boyfriend to go to hell." You manage to get out and Nat laughs softly, helping Steve lift the stretcher into the ambulance. "Who else do you want me to tell?" She asks once she hops into the back of the ambulance with you, Steve shutting the doors and telling the driver to step on it. "Tell my brother that I'm proud of him..and tell the other driver that I don't blame him.." You start to list as the lights start to get too bright, causing you to squint to try and look at Natasha. You swallow dryly as you can feel the life draining out of you, causing you to hold your hand up to the redheaded paramedic. "Nat, can you do something for me?" You ask weakly and she nods her head, Steve taking over putting pressure on your wound. "Yeah, what is it darling?" Nat asks softly as she changes out her gloves, swapping them for a new pair before leaning down to look at you. "Can you- Can you take my ring?" You ask and confusion floods her face, Nat looking down at the simple band on your pointer finger. "I dont-" She starts but you shake your head, wincing at the pain that it caused you. "Please..I- It might just be the blood loss talking but I feel like I've met you..probably in another life or something like that." You say and wait for her reaction, seeing her stare at you for a few beats. "I know, it's crazy but-" You start but she shakes her head, grabbing onto your hand and squeezing it lightly. "No I get it. You aren't crazy." She says softly and you smile meekly at that, slowly taking off your ring and putting it in her hand. "Then keep it." You whisper and she nods her head, looking at the ring in her gloved hand. "Okay." She says and you smile, finally feeling whole for once in your life despite all the blood you've lost. The fight finally leaves your body as your eyes close, your hand falling limp against the stretcher.
"Shit she's coding." Steve hisses out and Nat's head snaps upwards, shoving the ring into her pocket as she jumps into action. Steve immediately starts compressions as Nat works on your breathing, securing the mask on your face as she pumps the bag. Steve barks out orders over the radio as Nat stands by your head, eyebrows furrowed as she watches you.
"Come on Y/n stay with me, just five more minutes to the hospital." Nat says under her breath as the ambulance races through traffic.
"Hold on for five more minutes." She continues as Steve does his compressions, trying to manually restart your heart.
"Please..just five more minutes." Nat whispers under her breath as another PMD puts a defibrillator on your chest, trying to check for a shockable pulse.
After a trail of CPR, advanced airway, and cardiotonic drugs, Steve finally makes the call.
"Call it." He says to Natasha and she shakes her head, not giving up that hope that you could still be resuscitated. "She's gone." Steve states and Nat shakes her head once again, looking at your still form. "No Steve we can't-" "Tasha she's gone. You have to call it." He says sternly and it shuts Nat up, sighing as she looks at her watch. "Time of death, 9:52 pm." She says as the other PMD covers up your body with a sheet, only a few minutes later the ambulance pulling up into the hospital.
/
Nat sits in the back of the open ambulance as she watches the hospital staff go by, Steve coming to sit by her. "You alright?" He asks and Nat nods her head, blinking back tears as she looks at your ring. "Yeah..Yeah I'm fine." She says before closing her hand, turning her head to look at Steve. "But she was right, I really feel like I've met her before." Nat says and Steve nods his head, putting a reassuring hand on her back. "Maybe in another life."
----
"The drill is working smoothly sir." You report to the Capitan over the intercoms, the screens showing an all-clear in front of you. "Thank you, sailor." His voice crackles over the coms and you nod your head, pressing back the button to send a reply. "Of course, sir." You say before standing up straight, checking the pressure regulation and structural integrity one last time.
It's a must to make sure everything is working smoothly down here, after all, one mistake and the entire drill could be crushed seven miles below the surface of the ocean. "Hey, sailor." Natasha's arms wrap around your waist as she hugs you from behind, moving your ponytail aside to kiss the back of your neck. "Hi baby." You say as you lean back into her touch, eyes closing as you feel Nat's lips on your neck. "Capitan gave you the all-clear?" She asks and you nod your heads, humming at the warmth of your girlfriend's embrace.
It's lonely working on a research/drilling facility seven miles down and being isolated for months at a time, but with Natasha here, it makes things a tad bit easier.
You turn in her arms before cupping the sides of her neck, kissing the redhead softly. "Free for the rest of the day." You say and Nat smiles into the kiss, pulling you closer to her by your hips. When you both pull away, she brushes her lips over yours gently. "You wanna.?" Natasha's sentence trails off with a grin and you smile at her, your fingers hooking onto her dog tags and pulling her closer. "Mm..dirty Tasha." You laugh as you tease the kiss, kissing her softly only a few times. "I don't hear you complaining." Nat grins and you only roll your eyes, glancing at the clock before looking back at your girlfriend. "Then what are you waiting for?" You ask and Nat squeezes your waist, pulling back to grab your hand and lead you to the sleeping quarters.
/
You pull on your Navy-issued shirt as Nat laces up her boots, both of your faces flush from fucking for the past hour. "You messed up my hair." You say to Nat as you try and fix it in the mirror, seeing your slightly swollen lips and hickeys on your neck. "You wanted me to pull it." Nat shrugs and you purse your lips together, tugging your hair back into a semi-neat ponytail. "Yeah but not that hard." You mumble and Nat comes up behind you, both of you locking eyes in the mirror. "What did you say again? Oh Nat fuck me harder..mm tug my hair, oh!" Nat mimics your moans and you shove her lightly, trying to hide the smile on your face as you act mock offended. "I do not sound like that." You say and Natasha only smiles, fixing her belt and tucking her shirt into her pants. "Whatever you say, darling." She hums before kissing your cheek, pulling out your dog tags from under your shirt. You're about to pull her in for a proper kiss when the alarms suddenly go off in the base, a loud AI announcing the warning.
"Fuck." "Shit." Both of you curse under your breath as you swing the door to the barracks open, seeing the rest of the crew rush past you. "Come on we've got to get to the escape pods." Natasha says as she grabs onto your hand, running through the crowd as loud crunches and bangs echo throughout the drill.
"They're closing off this part of the drill!" Someone yells and it makes your heart race even faster in your chest, knowing as soon as someone closes that safety hatch you're all dead.
Nat and you push through people in the crowd, water starting to pool at your feet. It's only a matter of time before this section of the drill immediately collapses, making people literally trample over one another to try and get to safety.
"Come on, come on!" Clint calls as he stands by the safety hatch, watching the people behind you get sucked up in the pressure vacuum. "Close the door! Close it!" Steve yells at Clint as he watches the base collapse, you and Nat jumping over fallen debris and dodging electrical wires. "Go, just go!" Nat pushes you in front of her as you both sprint towards the hatch, Clint pressing the button to slowly close it. Your heart is racing a million miles per minute as you see the exit in sight, Natasha pushing you forward to get through first. There's barely enough space for you to fit through, grabbing Natasha's arm and pulling her in just in the nick of time.
The heavy metal door closes just in time, the rest of the drill getting torn out into the marina trench. Your chest is heaving as you hold on to Natasha, immediately scrambling up to check on your girlfriend. You cup her face as you watch her laugh up at you, hair soaked and face a bit cut but still alive. Your worry quickly changes into anger as you shove Nat in the arm, eyebrows furrowing. "Don't you ever do that again you fucking bastard!" You seethe, taking a few deep breathes before engulfing Natasha in a hug. "Fuck..I thought I'd lost you." You mumble as you feel Nat's arms wrap around you, not caring about Steve or Clint standing to the side. "What? I'm always going to put you first Y/n." Nat says softly before you pull back, now straddling Nat's lap. "Just don't do that self-sacrificing shit on me, okay? That was terrifying." You say and she nods her head, wiping away some of the wet hair that stuck to your face.
Clint clears his throat and you both look at him, you slowly getting up and helping Natasha up as well. "So, what do we do next?" He asks and everyone looks at each other, Steve speaking up first. "Let's find a way out of this death trap."
/
Clint paces as you all sit in the escape pod bay, you trying to get the only remaining one working.
"Are you done yet?" He asks for the third time in five minutes and you sigh, looking at him from over your shoulder with an annoyed glare.
"I'm a Navy engineer, not a wizard, stop rushing me." You say before turning back to the pod, trying to salvage what is left of the broken device.
When the four of you arrived at the escape pods, all of them have been deployed except one, you immediately jumping in and trying to fix it. It's been about ten minutes and your hope is dwindling by the second, finally dropping your makeshift tools and running a hand over your face. "Hey it's okay, we'll find another way out." Nat says softly as she crouches down next to you, rubbing your back in a small circles as she sees how distraught you are.
"Let's make our way over to the control base, see if we can make contact with the surface." Steve breaks the silence and you all turn to face him, everyone nodding their head as you and Tasha stand up.
/
You all meet up with Wanda, Tony, and Vison in the control base, all three of them having unsuccessful attempts to contact the surface. While the rest of the team is discussing the next plan of action, you're by the computer reviewing the readings on the ocean floor, finding the exact time when the drill collapsed. You know it wasn't your fault, you checked all the stats earlier and the base was perfectly fine, so what set it off? Eyes bouncing along the screen, you see that the ocean censors picked up a quake exactly fifteen seconds before the base started collapsing, an odd sensation filling your chest as you realize that no one could have prevented it.
"Y/n, did you hear us?" Steve asks and your head snaps towards the group, Nat looking over at you with a concerned look in her eyes. "Pardon?" You ask and Steve explains Tony's plan, saying that they could use the pressurized suits to try and walk to the next drilling facility to use the escape pods there. "But the nearest facility is more than few a miles from here, and besides, we have no clue what we'll find on the ocean's floor." You say and Tony nods his head, sighing as he sees the map.
These suits haven't gone more than a few yards from the base, specifically being made for drill repairs and short expeditions to fix the service towers.
"Well it's the only option that we have, other than that we can just stay here and wait for the drill to collapse ontop of us." Tony says and you contemplate it for a moment, glancing over at Nat before nodding. "Okay, what other choice do we have?'
/
You’re all suiting up when you see that Natasha’s helmet is sitting on one of the benches, the redhead herself slipping on her suit not too far away. Walking over to the helmet, you decide that there’s no harm in checking it out, reasoning that you should be more safe than sorry in a situation like this. Your heart almost stops when you see a small crack in the glass, knowing that once she goes underwater she’s as good as dead when the pressure hits. Taking a quick glance around you, you slowly exchange Nat’s helmet for yours, taking the damaged one in your hand and heading back to where you were suiting up. It’s better me than anyone else, especially Nat. You think to yourself as you move to put the rest of your suit on, Tony calling you for help before you could do so.
/
Once you arrive back at the bench, you’re relieved that the helmet is still there, knowing that yours is the damaged one. “Hey baby, you ready?” Tasha asks as she walks over to you, suit still bunched up around her waist. “Mm.” You hum as you step towards her, hugging her tightly and putting your face into her shoulder. Nat is a bit taken aback but she melts into your grasp anyways, wrapping her arms around your midsection and pulling you close.
“I love you Tasha.” You whisper softly as you close your eyes, knowing that you’ll be dead as soon as you hit the water. “I love you too Y/n.” Nat says before pulling back, looking into your eyes with a bit of concern. “Why are you acting this way darling? We’re gonna make it out of this together, I promise.” Natasha says and you only nod your head, giving her a bittersweet smile as you lean up and kiss her.
“I know...I just love you a lot Nat. Wanted to let you know that before we set off.” You hum and she nods her head, kissing your lips briefly before pulling you in for another hug. Her head is tucked into your shoulder and she rocks the two of you gently, kissing your temple once you both pull away. “Let’s get out of here.” She smiles and you nod your head, pulling the helmet on and securing it tightly.
/
Your breaths are shaky as Tony lowers all of you down into the water, preparing yourself for the pain you’re about to experience. Nat sees how tense you are and mistakes it for just plain old nerves, not knowing that you just gave yourself a death wish by swapping helmets with her. “It’s gonna be okay malysh.” Nat reassures you as she grabs your hand, you shooting her a smile as you make eye contact. “I know..I know..” You whisper under your breath, the water now over your heads as Tony lowers you deeper. “Get ready everyone, the pressure is going to hit hard.” Clint says and to the left of you, you see Steve’s helmet crack, your eyes widening as you spot it.
“Steve, what did you do?” You ask and he only looks at you, a gentle smile on his face as he sees you and Natasha. “Couldn’t let you leave her alone.” He smiles and you shake your head, frantically ordering Tony to not open the door. “Take care of her for me, okay kid?” Steve says and it’s too late, the door already opening and the pressure flooding in. “Steve no!” You yell as you see his helmet crack inwards, barley a second to register what happened before his suit implodes from the inside out.
“No Steve! No! Fuck!” You’re sobbing as everyone else processes what just happened, Tony frantically asking what just happened. “He switched our helmets! That idiot!” You say as Natasha just stands there in pure shock, Clint being the next one to speak up. “You knew your helmet was defective and you didn’t tell anyone?!” He questions and you shake your head. “I switched my helmet for Natasha’s! It was supposed to be me! Not Steve! He must’ve grabbed it when I got distracted, god damn it!” You’re angry, angry at Steve, angry at the helmet, angry at the earthquake, and most of all you’re angry at yourself. You should’ve noticed it. You should have made sure it was still the damaged one. “You should have just let me had it Y/n.” Nat says and you shake your head, glaring at your girlfriend.
“It’s better me than you Nat. You’re not dying, not if I can help it.” You say before everyone falls silent, everyone stunned at your outburst and Steve’s death. After a while Tony clears his throat and steps around you, looking into the depths of the mariana trench. “We’ll have time to mourn later, right now we need to make sure that we’ll live enough to.”
/
"Tony's dead..Wanda's dead, Vision..Steve..fuck they're all dead." Clint gasps out as he holds onto Natasha, the remaining three of you getting separated when a monster ambushed you. "Clint calm down, I need you to calm down." Nat says as she holds onto her best friend, darkness swirling around them. She forces herself to stay calm as she guides Clint through some deep breathes, refraining from asking about you until his pulse rate goes back down to normal.
You all saw their helmets crack and their blood muddle up the water, these monsters picking everyone off one by one. “Where’s Y/n?” Natasha asks once Clint can finally regulate his breathing, his grip loosening on her suit. “I..I don’t know. We got separated after that thing attacked us." He says and Nat is about to ask another question when she hears your static-y scream ring over the coms, her blood running cold as she sees your suit's lights frantically moving in the distance. "Haul ass Clint, come on." Nat doesn't waste any time as she tries to run through the water, dragging Clint along as she hears your screams through the coms. "Y/n! Y/n where are you?" Natasha calls out as your lights flicker off, head immediately turning 90 degrees when she sees your helmet lights come back on.
You're stabbing this merman-shark-eel hybrid in the face when Nat and Clint finally reach you, it's blood making the water murky as you kick it off. "Oh thank god you're alright." Nat breathes out once she sees you standing there, that relief only lasting for a moment as another thing latches onto both Clint and your legs. Its momentum is quick enough to knock both of you off your feet, unfortunately causing you to drop your knife in the process. Both you and Clint grit out curse words under your breath as you fight with the mysterious monster, Natasha loading up a flare gun to try and help. When she shoots the gun, it temporarily lights up the atmosphere around you, blood running cold as you see the monster that grabbed you.
Its teeth are sharp and dripping with blood, its slimy black claws slowly pulling you and Clint closer to its mouth. As it drags you along the ocean floor, you grab onto a jagged rock, quickly trying to swing at the arm. "Mother fucker." You curse as you hit the arm, it's sharp nails digging even more into your leg as a reflex. With all your might, you continue to swing at the hand, desperately wanting this to be over already. “Let. go. of. me.” You grunt out, watching the skin and muscle get hacked away. The monster screeches and pulls its arm back, now trying to drag in Clint double time since one of its meal got away. “Clint! Hold on!” You yell as you grab onto the man’s hand, trying to find any traction as you look at Clint. Nat is immediately behind you in an instant, grabbing onto your waist to hold the both of you back. Clint is screaming at this point, his leg getting torn by the nails clawing at his skin.
“Don’t let me go, please!” Clint says as you three get pulled closer to the monsters mouth, you desperately trying to tug him away. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you.” Your teeth are clenched as you feel yourself starting to loose your grip, Nat’s boots slipping on the ocean floor. “Don’t let go.” Clint begs and you nod your head, leaning forward even more to try and keep hold. “We’re gonna get out of this, I promise..” You say but there’s no time for him to respond, the monster roughly pulling him out of your grip and dragging him into the depths of the deep blue sea.
The last thing you hear is Clint’s painful screams that come through the coms, Nat grabbing onto you to keep you from falling over the edge. The both of you are quiet as you stare into the unknown, heart pounding as you realize that you’re the only ones left. “Clint.” Natasha whispers softly and you hold onto her, both of you trying to process how quick that was. “I’m sorry Tasha. I’m so sorry.” You whisper and she swallows thickly, taking one last look into the darkness before making eye contact with you. “It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault.” She says before composing herself, straightening her posture and checking her compass. “Come on, we got set off course.” Nat grabs your hand before she turns, keeping her gaze straight ahead as she pulls you both away from the ledge.
/
“They didn’t train us for this in the Navy.” Nat mumbles as you both trudge along the ocean floor, about half of the way towards the other drill facility. “Yeah, sea monsters and flesh eating eels weren’t exactly on the handbook.” You say before checking your compass, making sure you’re still on course. “Nope.” Nat sighs and shakes her head, glancing over at you with a soft smile.
“Hey..I love you.” She blurts out and your chest floods with warmth, a smile tugging at your lips as you look at her. “I love you, Tasha.” You say and she smiles back, both of you stepping a bit closer to one another. “When we get to the surface, would you..hypothetically..marry me?” Natasha asks and you raise an eyebrow, finding it amusing how Nat trying to play it cool.
“You know..because I can’t imagine my life without you, and I don’t want to live in a world without you in it. No scratch that, I couldn’t live in a world without you in it. You’re my soulmate..my person y/n, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you..hypothetically of course.” Nat finishes with an awkward laugh and you can only grin, reaching out to hold her hand gently. “Hypothetically..” You start and she laughs breathily. “If you asked me to marry you, I would say yes.” You say and she nods her head, a smile present in your words.
“Do you wanna ask?” You question and she shakes her head, making a little pff sound. “No I don’t want to ask.” She says and you nod your head, looking down at the map. “We’re almost there, just a few more miles-” “Will you marry me?” Nat breathes out in a rush and you laugh, looking back at the redhead who has a nervous smile on her face. “Mm yes.” You grin and Nat’s face lights up. “Yes?” She repeats, voice a bit high as she stares at you. “Yes you idiot.” You giggle as you tug her closer, squeezing her hand gently. “You better hug me when we get out of these suits.” You tease and she nods her head, looking at you with love in her eyes. “I’m gonna do you one better, I’m gonna marry you.”
/
Your breathing is shaky as you slightly lag behind Natasha, the air in your suit getting harder to breathe for the last few yards. “Are you okay darling?” Nat asks as she turns to look at you, you nodding your head as you wave a hand infront of your face. “I’m okay, just tired.” You say with a tired smile, Natasha nodding her head as she grabs your arm. “Come on you turtle, we’re almost there.” She teases and you can only laugh softly, continuing onward.
/
You’re struggling to take in breaths when a robotic voice rings through your ears, a small warning flashing in the corner of your helmet.
Caution, five minutes of air remaining. Oxygen pod damaged.
Fuck. You knew your luck would run out eventually, especially when you’re this close to escaping. “We’re only a few hundred yards from the facility, shouldn’t be too long before you get that hug.” Natasha smiles and you don’t respond, instead letting go of her arm and letting yourself fall behind a bit. “Y/n?” Nat asks as she faces you, seeing you stand there with a small smile on your face.
“Keep on going Nat, I’m right behind you.” You say softly, not wanting to worry your girlfriend as she’s so close to escaping. “No come on you dummy, let’s go.” She says but you shake your head, seeing the clock count down on the corner of the helmet. “I’m right behind you love.” You whisper, willing your voice not to break as Nat’s brows furrow. “Y/n what’s wrong?” She asks and her eyes widen once she sees it, the little screen on your arm flashing an oxygen warning. “You’ve gotta go Tasha.” You say and she shakes her head, gently holding your shoulders as her mind starts to race.
“What happened?” She asks and you point to the pack on your back. “The oxygen pod got damaged back when the monster dragged Clint and I across the floor, guess I didn’t notice it until now.” You say and Nat swallows thickly, checking her map before looking back at you. “If we’re quick enough we can make it, we just need to move-” She starts to say but you stop her gently, holding onto her biceps. “I’m not gonna make it, you know that Nat.” You whisper but she shakes her head holding onto you tighter. “No. No, you have to make it Y/n. Please.” She shakily says and you put your hands on the side of her helmet, holding the glass gently.
“We don’t have enough time Tasha.” You whisper and tears are forming in her eyes, the redhead trying to blink them away as she looks at you. “Please..you have to make it..” She begs, voice small as she sees the timer count down. “I need you to make it, I can’t do this without you..” Nat whispers and you only wish you could hug her one last time. “You don’t need me Tasha. But you’ve got to get going, you need to get to the survive for both of us.” You say and Natasha shakes her head, tears now fully falling. “I’m not just going to leave you here.” She says as her hands shake, trying to think of a way to get you to survive. “You have to.” You whisper before Nat pulls you in for a hug, the suits not stopping her from showing how much she loves you. “I love you Y/n.” She whispers and you hold her closer, closing your eyes as you hear the timer count down.
“I love you, Tasha.” You say softly, Nat holding you there for a few more moments before pulling away. “Keep my dog tags love, so I’ll always be with you.” She says as she pulls back from you, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you look up at the redhead. “What?” You question right before the ai voice rings out once again, the warning light suddenly clicking off.
Oxygen pod fixed, air supply replenished.
“Natasha.” You whisper out her name as you see your old oxygen pod drop to the sea floor, realizing that Nat just switched out the rest of her oxygen into your suit. With no pod in her suit, Natasha’s oxygen levels immediately drop, warning signs flashing bright red in her helmet. “I’m sorry darling.” Nat says as she looks at you, starting to feel lightheaded from the lack of air. “No..no no no no no.” You breathe out as Nat collapses into your arms, quickly moving her so she’s leaning onto your body. “Okay..okay come on. We can do this.” You mumble to yourself as you start to trudge your way towards the drilling facility. If there's one thing that they taught you in the Navy, that's to never give up, even when you're within an inch of your life you never stop fighting.
/
Once the murky lights of the drilling facility finally come into view, you almost jump for joy, Nat's head hung low as you drag her along. Your body aches and you think your leg might be broken, but that doesn't stop the relief coursing through your veins, opening the door and stumbling into the pressurized walkway. The entrance closes behind you before the water gets drained from the room, your legs collapsing from the lack of support the ocean gave you.
You gently place Nat on the ground before collapsing onto your knees, taking off your helmet and gasping down the fresh air. You cough a bit as you try and regain your breath, unzipping your suit so it bunches at your waist. Your coughs soon turn into laughs as you realize you've made it, quickly turning to Natasha to celebrate. "Nat, we did it. Holy shit..we fucking did it." You smile as you gently shake her shoulder, expecting her to take off her helmet by now.
"Nat..? Nat darling..we did it." You say softly, your smile fading as you take Nat's helmet off. "Oh my god, no." Your heart stops as you see Nat's pale cheeks and blue-tinted lips, shaky hands cupping her face as you ask the AI for her vitals.
No vitals found.
"Tasha..No please." You say before quickly moving to unzip her suit, fingertips touching her ice-cold skin. You start chest compressions as you desperately try to revive your love, the tears building up more and more with each round. "You made a promise, Nat." Your teeth are clenched as you finish another set of 30 compressions, bending down to give your fiancee two rescue breaths. "You said we're going to get out of this together. You promised me." You're barely keeping it together as you start another round, hot tears threatening to spill.
"You said you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me, well you can't do that if you leave me." Your chest is heaving as your compressions get sloppy. "So god damn it please Nat. Please. Please don't leave me." A sob rips from your throat as your movements finally falter, your arms collapsing from underneath you. Your entire body is wracked with sobs as you cling onto Natasha's shirt, crying into her chest as you hold her lifeless body.
You beg for Nat to come back like a broken record, chest heaving as you finally let all of your emotions breakthrough. You scream and you cry until your throat is raw, guilt gripping at your chest as you think all of your fallen crew members.
Your head rests on Natasha's stomach until your heart-wrenching sobs mellow down into silent cries, this small emotional break letting you spot something sticking out from your fiancee's helmet.
Sniffling a bit as you sit up, you take Nat's helmets into your hands, gingerly pulling out a piece of paper wedged into one of the corners. With shaky fingers, you hold it up into the light, breath catching in your throat when you see it. It's a picture of you and Nat after running one of the Navy obstacle courses, a wide smile on both of your faces as your working uniforms are caked in mud. A quivering smile tugs on your lips before you sob again, placing your head in your hands as your shoulders shake.
/
You’re still a mess as you fully get out of your suit, hands shaking with exhaustion as you put a makeshift splint on your leg. You easily find the escape pods and sigh in relief when you see that they’re all working, entering the commands to get to the surface.
As you stand in front of the pod, you decide to bring Natasha with you, refusing to leave the love of your life at the bottom of the ocean. The tears come rushing again as you pull Nat into the escape pod with you, pressing the button to close the hatch and to finally get the two of you out of here. “I’ve got you baby, I’ve got you.” You whisper as your arms tighten around Nat’s torso, slipping her dog tags over your head before you kiss her temple. Your eyes are screwed shut the entire time you travel to the surface, sniffling softly as hot tears silently run down your cheeks.
When you break the surface, you aren’t excited or relieved, you just feel numb, the cold air hitting your face once you open the pod. It’s like everything around you is shaded grey, your eyes dull and dead as the paramedics reach you. The entire time you’re looking at Natasha, seeing the first responders check for her pulse. As they pull your stretchers away from each other, there’s only one question on your mind: what’s the point of living in this world if Natasha isn’t in it?
————
The sunlight softly illuminates the Avengers compound in the early hours of the morning, two bodies warmly pressed up against each other under the protection of a fluffy duvet.
A phone alarm goes off but it doesn’t break the peaceful atmosphere in the bedroom, one of the bed’s occupants slowly turning over to shut off the device.
“Y/n, baby, wake up my love.” Natasha hums as she kisses you, her soft pink lips planting a few gentle kisses on your neck and cheek. Your only response is a hum as you turn in Natasha’s arms and bury your face into her neck, wrapping your arms around her torso and pulling yourself closer. “Come on darling.” Nat laughs as she runs her hand through your hair, voice a bit rough from just waking up. “Too early.” You mumble and Nat sighs, a sleepy smile still on her face as she holds you. “Steve will kill us if we’re late to training.” She says but you shake your head, gently kissing the warm skin of her neck.
“You’re the Black Widow, you could kick his ass ten times over if you wanted to.” You reason and Nat nods her head. “You do have a point malysh.” She says and you hum. “Five more minutes.” You mumble and Nat nods her head, wrapping her arms around you before pulling you closer. “Okay, five more minutes.” She whispers before kissing your cheek, her fingers running up and down your spine.
A/N: This is based entirely on the fact that it’s Lesbian Visibility Week and I like both puns and cute girls wearing glasses. As such, it’s all a little bit of nonsense. Also, entering it into @slutfornat’s fic contest before I chicken out.
There was always more with Natasha than what met the eye. Not every pattern you could spot or even explain, but you liked to try.
There were little behaviours, the smallest of quirks that hinted more at her personality than any of the careful phrases she’d given you about herself since you joined the team.
It started when you noticed the way that Natasha would read a mission report; always at arm’s length. It gave her this air of nonchalance that you found immediately attractive. Natasha would give the details a cursory glance, barely lifting the file from the desk before placing it back. From those few seconds, she could reiterate the mission outline to anyone. You’d checked. Soon enough, you had stopped bothering to study your own mission file at all during meetings.
Uhhhh not to be rude but ur pregnancy story has like alottttt of similarities to another recent post about trying for a baby with Nat. Like quite a lot. Seems suspsious
i got my inspiration for the fic after i was reading @lesbian-dp ‘s series about pregnant!natasha x reader drabbles.
if i copied someone else’s pregnant!reader x nat idea without knowing please message me the link or something because it was never my intention.
i haven’t seen a fanfic like that before so i just assumed i didn’t need to credit anyone, thank you for pointing out my mistake.
summary: after the war you and Natasha settle down, deciding to start a family in your cozy little home. The problem is though, how many times can hope be ignited before it fully burns out?
warnings: (trying to get pregnant) reader, canon/sterile Nat, swearing, Nat and you cry, post-endgame, sprinkle of angst with a very fluffy ending
word count: 4,016
im having baby fever rn im so sorry
-flashback, pre-endgame-
"I wanna have a family." Your voice is barely above a whisper as you both look up at the night sky, laying in the garden atop the Avengers compound. "What?" Nat asks softly, breaking out of her trance as she looks at you. You're laying on her chest and her arm is wrapped your back, Nat's other arm folded up behind her head.
"I wanna have a family, with you." You repeat yourself, making eye contact with your girlfriend as her brows furrow. "Y/n.." Nat's voice is hesitant and panic floods your chest, your eyes widening as you move to sit up. "Oh my god I'm so sorry, that was so quick-" You apologize quickly as you avoid Natasha's gaze, the redhead sitting up with you.
You've dated Natasha for two years but everything has been slow, knowing how the assassin will close herself off if you try and move too fast (emotion wise).
"Hey Y/n no." Nat says softly as she looks at your side profile, a soft frown forming on her face as she sees you. "That's not the reason why." She says as she gently turns your head to face her, fingertips delicately grabbing your chin. "I do want to have a family with you, moya lyubov'..it's just that I can't." Nat whispers and you finally lock eyes with her, seeing the pain and sadness on her face. "What do you mean?' You ask carefully and she sighs, waiting a beat before deciding to tell you. "In the Red Room me and all of my other group mates were sterilized..it was like a sick graduation ceremony that prevented us from having a family of our own." She tells you and hurt immediately grips at your heart, seeing Nat avert her gaze for a moment.
"Why?" You question and she purses her lips together, one of your hands rubbing her knee gently. "So we would never have any distraction from our mission..so that our only purpose in life was to kill and be used as a weapon." Disgust drips from Nat's voice at the last part, your soft hands on her wrist bringing her back to reality. "Im so sorry Nat, I shouldn't have anything I didn't know-" You start to apologize again but Nat stops you with a soft shake of her head, a bittersweet smile on her face. "Don't apologize, Y/n. I'm the one who should be sorry for not being able to give you the family that you deserve." She says and now it's your turn to shake your head, grabbing Nat's hands and caressing them gently. "Its alright baby." You smile gently before an idea pops into your head, your eyes lighting up and Nat gives you a look of curiosity.
"Besides.." You start, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "If you really..truly..wanted a family with me, there could still be other options. Like adopting or getting a surrogate..or I could get pregnant instead." You suggest and Natasha's eyes light up like the stars in the night sky, a small laugh escaping your lips as you see the excitement on her face.
"Really?! You'd do that?" She asks and you nod your head, giving your girlfriend a soft kiss before laughing. "Mmhm, but you'd have to put a ring on it first, Miss Romanoff." You giggle and Nat wraps her arms around you again, both of you laying back down on the blanket. "Im planning to, future Mrs.Romanoff."
-present day, post-endgame-
You nervously pace around the bathroom as you wait for the three minutes to be up, Natasha sitting on the edge of the bathtub and observing you walk back and forth. The pregnancy test is laying by the sink and you can’t help but glance at it every few seconds, not having felt this nervous since battling Thanos and his army. You’ve faced gods, powerful Titans, super soldiers, but you’re sure this the most nerve wracking thing you’ve ever had to do. Once the timer on Natasha’s phone goes off, you practically jump towards the sink, Natasha leaning forward a bit more on the bathtub. Picking up the white and pink pregnancy test, you nervously turn it over in your hands, eyes scanning the small window for the results.
Natasha doesn’t even have to ask for the results when she sees your shoulders slump and your face drop, quickly getting up from the bathtub to wrap you up in her arms. Hugging you from behind, she can see the negative test in your hands, gently kissing your cheek when you don’t say anything. “It’s okay baby, we can try again.” She says softly and you shake your head, slowly placing the test down and closing your eyes.
“Nat, what if somethings wrong with me?” You whisper and her arms hug you closer, tears pooling under your eyelids in frustration. “Nothing is wrong with you malysh.” Natasha reassures you and you turn in her arms, releasing a shaky breath as you press your face into her neck. “Three times Nat..three fucking times..” You sigh and she only holds you closer, knowing how much hope the both of you had for this one. “I know, I know.” Nat hums softly as she rocks the two of you back and forth gently, feeling the hope starting to dwindle from you. “What if we just weren’t meant to have a biological children? What if we weren’t meant to have lives after the war?” You question out loud and Natasha pulls back, gently tilting your chin up so you can look her in the eyes. “Hey no, don’t say that. We were meant to have a family Y/n, biological or not.” Nat takes a pause to brush some hair out of your face.
“Let’s try one more time, okay? And if that doesn’t work then we can look into other options.” She continues and you think for a moment, not knowing if you could go through the hope and pain again. “Okay.” You whisper softly and Nat nods her head. “Okay.” She echos you before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, pulling you back in for a hug.
————
Nat’s leg is bouncing up and down as she watches the timer tick down, only ten more seconds before you can check. This is the last try, all or nothing. You’re too anxious to pace this time, instead opting to sit next to Natasha and leaning into her as you watch her leg bounce. “You know..whatever happens, I love you.” Nat says softly when she sees you blankly stare at her knee, lost in thought about what’s going to happen. “I love you too.” You reply equally as soft as you look up at your wife, grabbing her hand and intertwining them slowly.
Leaning into each other, you both share a soft kiss, love shining through the small interaction. You both only pull away when the timer dings, Natasha rubbing your back as you sigh and get up. It feels like time slows down as you walk towards the sink, heart pounding in your chest as you reach out to grab the test. The bathroom is silent as you pick it up and flip it over, looking at the little window for the results. You’re silent as you look at the results, body frozen in place as you stare at the test. Natasha’s brows furrow and she gets up, sighing as she rubs her temples.
“Baby I’m so sorry-” “It’s positive.” You interrupt Nat midway through her sentence, your voice in disbelief as you see those two pink lines. “What?” Natasha asks, unsure if she heard you right. “It’s positive.” You repeat as you turn to face her, pregnancy test in hand as you smile from ear to ear. “You’re pregnant?” Natasha asks, almost in disbelief as she stares at you. “I’m pregnant.” You nod your head and Natasha immediately sweeps you up in her arms, hugging you right and picking you up from the ground. “Holy shit! We’re gonna have a baby!” Nat laughs as she spins you around, joyful giggles falling from your lips as you cling onto your wife.
“Oh my god we’re gonna have a baby.” Nat breathes out as she comes to a stop, quickly putting you down once the realization hits her brain. “Shit, you’re pregnant we need to be careful.” She says and you only laugh, pulling her down a bit to kiss her. “You don’t need to be that a careful dummy, but yes..I’m pregnant.”
————
“Tony gave us an iron man onesie.” You laugh as you hold up the tiny piece of clothing, Natasha grinning as she watches you. Even though the announcement was made a week ago, the gifts have been steadily pouring in, Tony insisting that he pays for the majority of the things that are needed for the new arrival.
He paid for the crib, the high chair, the car seat, most of the nursery, and all the bottles and toys a newborn could ask for. Pepper had a huge part in it too, having experience since bringing Morgan into the world. “That man is self centered.” Natasha laughs as she walks over to where you’re sitting, her heart full of love as she kneels down next to you.
“Mmhm.” You hum in agreement as you fold the article of clothing away, Natasha handing you the next gift. You’re about sixteen weeks along and you’re already showing, a small baby bump forming from your midsection. You both decided to wait until the second trimester to tell the rest of the team, wanting to enjoy the first few months in peace.
Natasha watches you wordlessly as you open a gift from Steve, a smile tugging on her lips as she sees the captain america pacifier. “I love you so much.” She blurts out randomly and your head turns to face her, a smile on your face as you gently kiss her.
“You’ve gone soft Romanoff.” You tease and she only laughs, gently kissing you again. “I blame you, you’ve made me domestic.” She grins and you roll your eyes, placing the gift to the side.
————
As the pregnancy goes along, you start to notice Natasha’s lack of touch, the redhead only going as far as running her hands through your hair or holding your shoulders. You have no idea what has gotten into her and you're determined to investigate, missing the way Natasha used to spoon and cuddle you all day.
Your questions were finally answered when one day you and Natasha were watching TV in bed, the redhead's arm slung around your shoulder as you lean into her. When the commercial break finally came on, you turned your head to look at your wife, curiosity written all over your face. "Why don't you cuddle me anymore, Nat?" You ask softly and she looks at you with confusion, lowering down the volume on the TV. "What do you mean? I cuddle you all the time baby." She says and you shake your head, reaching up and gently toying with her hair.
"Ever since I've gotten pregnant you've treated me like I could break at any moment, what are you so afraid of?" You question and Natasha sighs, glancing at her lap for a moment before answering. "With these hands I've done some awful things Y/n..things too horrific to say out loud. I feel like if I touch you or the baby I'll just ruin it, or hurt you..like everything else in my life." Nat confesses softly and your heart melts at how scared your wife is, knowing how much she's struggled with her past and with the red in her ledger. "Natasha Romanoff." You whisper, gently grabbing her hands to put them in between the two of you. "You are the kindest," You start, gently kissing her knuckle. "Most caring." another kiss, "Most selfless" another kiss, "Person I've ever met" another kiss. "And I know, with my whole heart and soul, you would never do anything to hurt me or the baby." You look up at her and gently rub your knuckles over the back of her hands. "So please stop acting like you will. These are the hands that I love, the hands that will raise our child, they're strong and secure, so stop thinking otherwise." You finish as you wordlessly move both your hands towards your belly, gently placing Natasha's hands over the bump.
The redhead is stunned as your hands rest over hers, the baby suddenly kicking. A wide smile spreads across your face as you both look down at your belly, the baby never having kicked before. "That was the first time they've ever kicked." You inform Natasha and you could see her still processing that fact. "That's our baby?" She asks softly and you laugh, nodding your head. "Mmhm, that's our baby. They recognized their mama." You say fondly as the baby kicks again, Natasha's heart bursting with warmth as she looks at you.
Slowly, Natasha moves to lay down on the bed, resting her head right beside your bump and holding it gently. "Hi malen'kiy golub'." She whispers softly, your hand coming down to gently play with her hair. You smile as you watch Natasha gently cuddle with your bump, knowing without a doubt that she's going to be a great mother.
-----
Placing the stuffed animals down on the table, you turn to look at Natasha, a giggle coming from your lips as you walk over to her. "What?" Nat grins as she turns to face you, putting the paintbrush down to the side.
"You're a mess." You laugh as you rub some pastel green paint from her cheek, both of you deciding that the nursery would be painted a light grey with a pastel green accent wall. "I'm still hot though." She teases and you only roll your eyes, cupping her face as you gently kiss her.
"Yeah yeah you're always hot." You laugh and Natasha looks around the room, grinning at the stack of Avenger's themed stuffed animals your team gave you. "They're all trying to be known as the cool uncle aren't they?" She asks softly and you nod your head, knowing that whatever Avenger your child takes after will forever have that bragging right.
"Let them have their fun, they're happy for us." You smile and Nat only sighs, shaking her head with a small smile on her face.
-----
You feel like Natasha was more anxious than you when you went into labour, your water breaking in the middle of the night. There wasn't any dramatic screaming or freaking out, you just calmly pushed the sheet back and let out a soft "huh" as you saw the damp bedsheets.
"Oh, okay we're doing this." You say before turning on the light, acting like it was any other day as you gently shake Natasha awake. "Nat, baby wake up." You whisper softly as Natasha stirs, squinting at the light once her eyes opened. "Y/n? What's wrong?" Nat mumbles sleepily as she rubs the sleep from her eyes, seeing you in a sitting up position.
"My water broke." You say and it takes a second for the words to process in Natasha's brain, the redhead suddenly sitting up and fully awake. "What? Okay okay it's happening. It's happening." Nat says as she pushes the sheets off herself, her mind immediately going to all the books she's read over the past nine months. You've already packed your hospital bags a few weeks in advance so you aren't too stressed about it, only needing to change and grab a few extra things. Natasha, on the other hand, is working on full overdrive, pulling on sweatpants and making sure everything is in order.
"Natasha, baby." You say as you gently grab her arm, needing your wife to slow down if you're going to survive the next few days. "You need to calm down my love." You say softly as you hold onto her shoulders, making the redhead look at you and take a few deep breaths. "Okay..okay. I'm sorry. I'm just nervous." Natasha admits and you nod your head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"It's okay to be nervous Nat, you just need so slow down. We haven't even gotten to the hospital yet." You laugh softly and she nods her head, waiting a few more moments before stepping back slowly. "Okay, let's have a baby."
---
Your head is resting back against Natasha's shoulder as she acts like a backrest to you, allowing you to grip onto her hand when your contractions hit. Nat has been nothing but supportive the entire time, humming reassuring words into your ear as the pain washes over your body.
"Fuck." You whimper once another round of contractions end, Natasha's hand coming up to gently push back the sweaty hairs sticking to your forehead. "You're doing amazing baby, I'm so proud of you." She hums and you sigh, closing your eyes as you feel your wife rub your back. It's quiet as you feel Natasha's hands move down to your bump, rubbing your stomach softly as she sighs.
"Come on malen'kiy golub, your mommies are so excited to meet you." Nat coos and you smile into her neck, warmth flooding your chest as you listen to her. "And I know all of your aunties and uncles are excited to meet you too. We're so excited to hug you, and kiss you, and watch you grow." She hums as she rubs small circles on your belly.
"So please come out before your mommy kills me." Both of you laugh and you snuggle more into Natasha's embrace. "You're going to be an amazing mom." You whisper and Nat grins, looking at you with a quirked eyebrow. "Yeah?" She asks and you nod your head. "Yeah..I couldn't have asked for a more amazing wife, best friend, and now..a mother to our daughter." You hum and Nat blushes, kissing you gently.
----
Your eyebrows furrow as you grip onto Natasha’s hand, pain coursing through your body as you deliver the baby. “You’re doing amazing y/n, almost there.” Nat says as you practically crush her hand, hiding the pain in her face as she watches you. "Congratulations, it's a healthy baby girl." The doctor announces as the baby's cries fill the room, your chest heaving as you lay back. Nat cuts the umbilical cord ("I've seen worst in Budapest") and they place the baby on your chest, draping a blanket over the two of you to keep you warm.
"Hi baby." You coo as you hold your child close to your chest, Natasha standing next to you with unshed tears in her eyes. You look up at her and sniffle (you're crying so hard at this point) as you see the look of awe on her face, smiling as you gently reach out to grab her hand. Softly placing her hand atop of the baby's blanketed back, she slowly moves her thumb, the child's cries quieting at both of her mother's touch. Nat is speechless as she watches the tiny newborn cling onto your chest, loving the warmth radiating off of your body.
"She's a boob man, just like her mama." Nat whispers and you laugh, that being the first thing that comes to her mind. Your child's hand slowly comes up and wraps her fingers around Natasha's thumb, that being the breaking point for the tears as they finally fall down her cheek.
----
"Are you gonna hold her or are you just going to stare at me?" You ask as Natasha watches you and Mila sit on the bed, the two of you now alone with your child. Natasha looks hesitant as she walks over to you, never feeling so nervous as you look up at her.
"You aren't going to break her Nat." You say and Nat's eyebrows furrow, seeing the tiny infant look up at her with Y/c/e. The baby took from both you and Natasha, having scarlet red hair from her and beautiful y/c/e from you. "I just don't know..I mean what if I drop her? What if I do something wrong?" Nat worries her bottom lip between her teeth and you only beckon her to come closer, scooting over so she can sit on the hospital bed.
"You won't Nat, I promise." You reassure her and she slowly sits down on the bed, following your instructions as she places her hands out. Gently transferring the baby into her arms, you smile as Mila looks up at her mama, letting out a soft "gah". "See? She loves you already." You hum as you rub Mila's hair gently, seeing the love on Natasha's face. "Hi Mila." Nat breathes out as you rest your head on her shoulder, watching your wife interact with the baby. The tears return to Natasha's eyes as the newborn looks up at her, her emotions going everywhere as she processes that this is her child, her little bundle of joy that she gets the privilege of sharing with you. "Thank you." Nat whispers out as she looks at you, a smile on her face as she sniffles.
"For what?" You question and she only kisses you softly, smile still on her face as she pulls away. "For giving me another reason to live for." She whispers and her statement covers a wide range, thank you for being her wife, thank you for giving her a chance, thank you for her daughter, thank you for giving her the family she's always wanted, just thank you.
----
Mila's cries ring out through your room and pierce your eardrums, rousing you and Nat from your slumber.
"Mm, I've got it." You sleepily mumble out of instinct as you start to get up, now used to getting woken up in the dead of night.
Mila still doesn't have a sleep schedule since she's a newborn so sometime's she'll sleep for a few hours and other times only for ten minutes.
This time around though, you get gently pushed back onto the bed by Natasha, feeling a comforting kiss placed on your temple as your wife gets up. "I've got it, moya lyubov'." She whispers and you don't have enough energy to resist, watching as Nat walks over to the bassinet. "Hi malen'kiy golub, you have a healthy set of lungs don't you?" Nat mumbles sleepily as she pulls the newborn from the crib, cradling the baby to her chest and gently rocking her back and forth. "Yeah I know, it's okay baby. It's okay, mama's got you." She hums as the baby's cries slowly die down, you still sitting on the bed as you watch your wife in awe. "Your mommies need their sleep huh little one, that sounds nice doesn't it." Nat yawns and you cant help but smile.
"But don't worry, every time you wake up we'll be here okay? We'll love you and hug you each time you cry. And I'm gonna protect you, malen'kiy golub. I won't let anything happen to you or your mommy, I promise." Natasha coos as she continues to rock Mila, not noticing how you're wide awake now. It's a soft, quiet vow, spoken in the dead of night, that Natasha will protect her family with everything she has in her..and it makes you fall more in love with her, if that's even possible.
Getting up, you make your way over to your wife, gently placing your hands on her shoulders to notify her of your presence. She knew you were coming as soon as she heard the bedsheets rustle, even in her tired state she was looking out for the two of you. "Hi." Nat greets you softly and you only hum, a tired smile on your face as you rest your head on her shoulder. Your hand comes up and is gently placed on Mila's back, rubbing soft circles on her onesie. Natasha's heart swells as she looks at her small family, smiling when you kiss her cheek. "I love you." You whisper before looking down at your daughter. "And I love you too." You hum, gently kissing her fiery red hair. Nat kisses your temple gently and closes her eyes, finally at peace with her daughter in her arms and you at her side.
summary: first thing in the morning, you and nat get into an argument, not having a chance to cool down before the both of you get sent off on a mission. when you both get back, natasha apologizes in the best way she knows how.
warnings: cursing, argument, slight violence, minor injury, making out
“You missed our date night! How could I not be angry?!” You say, arms crossed as you look at your girlfriend.
It was the one night you both had off, you patiently waiting at the restaurant for a good five-ish hours before giving up. You both had planned to meet up at a fancy restaurant in uptown New York, you getting seated at 5:30 and not leaving until 11.
Multiple messages were sent to Natasha’s phone, not getting a response until midnight when you were back at the compound.
Sorry babe, had a mission. Rain check?
It wasn’t the response that made you angry, no you understood that missions would come up and plans would have to be cancelled, what made you angry was that Natasha acted normal once she saw you. Not a single apology leaving her lips as she tried to kiss you.
“I told you Y/n! I had a mission!” Nat says as her tone gets defensive, thinking that you would understand when the mission came up. “I know you had a mission Nat! What pisses me off is that you completely brushed me off, acting like I won’t be even the slightest bit upset!” You hiss, a glare settling in your face as you look at the redhead.
Your red dress is lazily hanging across the chair, heels discarded half hazardously on the floor next to it.
“Did you even make an attempt to get to the restaurant? Or did you just decide to let me know afterwards at fucking twelve in the morning?” You ask when Natasha doesn’t answer, the redhead’s brows furrowing. “That’s what I thought.” You mumble, sighing as you rub your temple.
A knock on the door breaks through the tense atmosphere, Clint poking his head in as he looks at the two of you. “Tony just called a meeting.” He says, awkwardly taking a gulp as he reads both your body languages. “We’ll be there.” You sigh, glancing over at the man but not moving from your spot. “Got it..I’ll tell Stark.” Clint quickly excuses himself and the door clicks shut behind him, you running your hands over your face before sighing. “We are not done talking, Y/n.” Nat says and you shake your head, grabbing a sweater and pulling it on. “No Nat, I think we are.”
————
Both of you sit opposite to each other in the conference room, the atmosphere noticeably shifting when the two of you walked in. You two never fought in the mornings, so this was a new for the entire team. Despite the obvious tension in the room, Tony still continues with the meeting, issuing everyone assignments for the day.
————
“Y/n, can you stay behind for a second?” Tony asks after he dismisses everyone else, you nodding as you stand up.
“Can I speak with you outside?” Steve asks as he and Natasha stand up, the redhead giving him a nod before moving to the door.
“A mission just came up and I need you to do some recon, it shouldn’t take too long and you’d be back by dinner.” Tony explains, placing a classified folder onto the desk. Your eyes follow his movements and you nod your head, having done thousands of these missions before.
“What is it Steve?” Nat asks once they both step into the hallway, Steve holding up a very similar classified folder. “I need you to do a drop for a SHIELD asset, the details are in the folder.” He says and she sighs, giving him an annoyed look. “Do I really have to? Y/n and I are kind of in the middle of something.” Nat says and he gives her a look, nodding his head as he hands over the folder. “It’ll be quick, won’t take longer than a few hours.” He explains and Nat knows she can’t really get out of it, grabbing the folder and opening it.
————
Turns out, doing recon in a bar known for its criminal activity wasn’t the best idea, seeing as you quickly got into a bar fight once you got spotted. As soon as one of your targets recognized you, all hell broke loose, you getting body slammed through a table a few times. In the end though, you came up victorious, men groaning on the floor around you as you looked at them. “So much for a no contact mission.” You mumble as you step over them, wincing slightly at your bruised ribs.
————
“What happened to no contact?!” Tony asks as you cross your arms, hiding your pain as he pulls up security camera footage. You smash a guys head into the bar and you bite back a grin, seeing his nose bleed onto the wood. “They started the fight, I just finished it.” You shrug and Tony sighs, closing his eyes for a brief moment to gather himself. “This is a mess..the media is gonna be on our ass if we don’t clear this up.” He mumbles to himself before waiving you off, wordlessly dismissing you as he turns to his laptop.
With a bruised rib cage, black eye, and a cut cheek, you head over to Natasha’s bedroom, knowing that your injuries aren’t serious enough to make a fuss about. As you walk down the hallway, a janitor closet opens to your right, Natasha’s head poking out of it. “Come here.” She says softly and, albeit a bit confused, you comply without question. The second you’re close enough to her, Natasha’s hands grab you, pulling you through the doorway and pushing you up against the wall. Her soft lips are pressed up against yours in an instant, your hands finding purchase on her biceps as hers stay on your waist. It’s aggressive and passionate, both of you putting all your frustration and feelings into the kiss. Nat tugs at your bottom lip and you part your lips, allowing the redhead to kiss you deeper. All of the tension and frustration from the day melts away as the kiss slows down, Nat eventually transitioning into soft, gentle pecks. You're expecting her to say something accusing, that you're wrong for being angry, that she tried her best, but instead, Nat whispers a soft "I'm glad you're okay."
You're stunned at her sentence and you can only look up at her, hands still resting on her arms as she looks at you. "I'm sorry Y/n..I know how much you wanted a date night and I just blew you off like it was nothing." Nat apologizes and you open your mouth to reply, wanting to say how you know it isn't her fault. Nat beats you to the punch though, gently caressing your face and sighing. "I know you're going to say that it isn't my fault but it is. And I promise to make it up to you." She says and a look of confusion washes over your face, Nat grinning softly at it.
"I got Tony and Steve to give us the weekend off, no mission, no paperwork, nothing. I'm all yours." She says and you can only smile up at your girlfriend. "Thank you Nat." You breathe out and she smiles back, kissing you softly a few more times. "I love you." You continue and a blush comes across her cheeks, looking into your eyes lovingly as you both stand there in each others arms. "I love you too, so much." She hums and your arms come up to slide around her neck, leaning in to whisper against her lips. "Then why don't you show me how much?"
summary: when you can’t find a summer job, your best friend offers you a position as a groundskeeper. You gratefully accept the offer but over the summer, you develop feelings for someone you really shouldn’t have.
warnings: milf/mommy!natasha x college!reader, legal age gap (reader is 22), nsfw content, strap on, explicit language, fingering (r receiving), reader has a mommy kink, innocent!reader, this feels like it’s straight from a porno but whatever
it’s just a shit ton of smut tbh
not proofread
You fiddle nervously with your bags as you stand in front of the big wooden doors, your friend offering you a summer job after you couldn't get one anywhere else. Ringing the doorbell, you wait in anticipation, not understanding the reason for your nerves since you've been over many times. "Cam, can you get the door?" A muffled voice comes from behind the door and your heart speeds up.
That's why.
Your best friend's mom, Miss Romanoff, has had you questioning your sexuality ever since you met her back in high school, her pet names making your knees weak and your heart pound. Romanoff was a single mom and worked for STARK industries, having enough dough to travel across the world for dinner if she wanted to.
The last time you were over you had a certain encounter with the redhead, that little incident being in your mind when you touched yourself for the weeks that followed.
------
You were sleeping over at their house when you got thirsty in the middle of the night, quietly sneaking downstairs to grab a cup of water. You were almost successful in your mission when you heard Miss Romanoff's voice call out from behind you, "What are you doing up, y/n?" She asks, her voice having a tone of curiosity and roughness that made a shiver go down your spine. "Uhm- I was just getting water, my throat hurts." You squeaked out as you turned to face her, immediately regretting that decision when you saw her. She was leaning up against the doorframe, dressed up in a silky grey robe that clung to her curves. As she walked over to you, you could see her hard nipples brushing against the fabric, your head swimming with inappropriate thoughts as you realized that she had nothing underneath.
"Awe, you sweet thing." She whispers as she towers over you, putting her fingertips under your chin and tilting it up. "Do you need me to get you anything, hun?" She asks, the tone of her voice making you physically hold back a while. "N-no, I'm good." You swallow thickly and she nods her head, glass completely forgotten as a smile tugs on her lips. "I know you are." She hums and you forget to breathe for a moment, your body now pinned between the woman's body and the counter. She's so close her perfume completely fills your senses, the homosexual in your head screaming at you to kiss her, or touch her, or do something other than just standing there. "Miss Romanoff.." You begin, eyes flickering down between her full pink lips and her strikingly green eyes.
"We're friendly enough, right kotenok?" She questions with a quirk of her brow and you nod your head, acutely aware of the woman's grip on your chin. "Then, you're welcome to call me Natasha." Nat grins as she sees the blush erupt on your face, one of her hands coming up to grab your waist. "Natasha?" You try out her name and she smiles, rubbing her thumb over your cheek. "Only when we're alone, okay?" She asks and you nod your head, willing to do anything to please the woman in front of you. "Good girl." She praises, the words making you involuntarily clench your thighs together. You swallow thickly when Natasha finally steps away, an amused look on her face.
"You should go to bed, little one, before Cameron realizes that you're gone." If you weren't so set on getting out of there, the nickname would have absolutely destroyed you, instead you quickly nod your head and go up the stairs, water long forgotten on the counter.
---
"Y/n!" Your best friend greets you with a hug once she opens the door, pulling you out of your daydream as you stumble back slightly. "Hey!" You smile as you hug her back, laughing softly as she pulls away. "It's so great that you could make it. We already have groundskeepers so your job isn't gonna be that difficult." Cameron explains and you nod your head. "Well I'm still getting paid right?" You shrug and the both of you laugh, Cameron grabbing one of your bags. "Cam, honey, who is it?" Natasha calls from the inside of the house and you have to force yourself to calm down, grip tightening on your bag slightly. "Y/n's here mom!" Cameron calls back and a few moments later the redhead appears, a warm smile on her face as she sees you.
"Y/n honey, how are you?" Her tone is so much different from that night in the kitchen, your skin heating up as she pulls you in for a hug. "I'm doing good Na- Miss Romanoff." You quickly correct yourself and she grabs your bag from your hands, Cameron picking up on your awkwardness and nudging you in the side. "Whats going on with you?" She asks as you both follow Natasha inside, panicking only slightly as your friend asks the question. "Nothing. I'm fine." You say far too quickly for a normal response, Cameron just giving you an odd look before shrugging. "If you say so." She says before dragging you towards the poolhouse/guesthouse.
----
"It was very kind of you to let me stay over for the summer, Miss Romanoff." You say as you help Natasha make lunch, cutting up the sandwiches and pouring chips into a bowl. "Of course she'd let you stay over. You know you're her favorite." Cameron jokes, your cheeks burning a bit at the thought. You only shake your head at the comment and continue to make lunch, Cameron setting her plate down on the counter before looking at the two of you. “I’m gonna go wash up, don’t start eating without me.” She says and you mutter a soft “yeah” before she leaves the kitchen. Not even a full minute goes by before you feel Nat’s hands grab your waist, whispering a soft “Excuse me honey.” As she passes by. Your eyes temporarily flutter close at the contact, wanting nothing more for those hands to pin you up against the counter. Natasha grins as she clearly sees the affect she has on you, like a little kitten turning into putty in her hands.
“So, Miss-” you start but a raised brow causes you to quickly change your wording. “Natasha.” You say and she nods your head, signaling for you to continue. “What am I going to be doing over the summer?” you ask and she shrugs her head, talking over her shoulder as she grabs the fruit and drinks. “Cleaning the pool, mowing the lawn, mostly just maintenance. Is that okay with you?” She asks and you nod your head, Nat walking behind you with drinks in her hand. She smiles and places the bottles down, turning to face you as you wipe your hands. “You’re gonna be my pretty little pool girl, huh kotenok?” She hums, playing innocently with a strand of your hair as the nickname hits you in the face. You haven’t heard that in a while.
“Mmhm.” You hum, your body involuntary reacting to the attention. “I've missed you, sweet thing." She whispers, knuckles gently brushing against your cheek. "I've missed you too." You whisper and she grins, giving you one last look before pulling away from you, Cameron coming in shortly after. "You guys ready for lunch?"
---
A few weeks later and you're cleaning the pool, tank top clinging onto your body as you work under the sun. It's a hot day summer day outside and it causes your hair to stick to your sweaty forehead, watching the net glide through the pool and collect the leaves.
So far it's been pretty smooth sailing working for Miss Romanoff, getting paid every week while also spending most of your off time with your best friend. The only problem that you really have is with Natasha, well it isn't really a problem..more of a situation. See, this woman has been teasing you ever since you set foot into the house, calling you endearing terms while also grabbing your waist or tucking some hair behind you ear. You swear this woman is going to be the death of you, either it being when she watches you with that look when you mow the lawn or when she sunbathes as you work on the garden, her glistening body directly in your line of vision.
Today so far has been without incident, you minding your business while simultaneously getting a good workout in. You had your headphones in, nodding your head along to a song you don't know the lyrics of. You're pulled from your own little world when a voice comes muffled through your earbuds, causing you to pull your headphone out and look at the source. Cameron is standing in the frame of the sliding door, hand in hand with her boyfriend, Cole. "Hey Y/n." Cameron smiles and Cole only nods his head, sending you a "Hey." "Hey you guys, what's up?" You ask temporarily stopping your motions as you look at the couple. "We're gonna head to the movies, you wanna come with?" She asks and you think for a few moments, remembering how Natasha told you that it didn't matter if you took breaks. You were about to nod your head when the thought of being alone with Natasha pops into your mind, causing you to change your answer. "No I'm good, have fun though." You smile and turn back to your work, Cameron about to ask why when Cole kisses her neck. A giggle erupts from her lips as she turns and leaves you be, holding back an eye roll as you scoop up the leaves.
Straight people.
Not even a moment after the couple leaves, Natasha steps out onto the backyard, arms crossed with an amused look on her face. You immediately know of the woman’s presence but don’t make any move to show your recognition. “Look at me kotenok.” Natasha hums and your head immediately turns to face her, a smile gracing her lips as she sees how fast you complied. “Why didn’t you go with Cam?” She asks and you simply shrug your shoulders, wiping some sweat from her brow. “I just didn’t want to deal with her and her boyfriend, they always make me third wheel.” You say and laugh softly. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I love them to death, but I couldn’t handle them making out all movie.” You finish and Natasha only nods her head, laughing breathily as she walks towards you. “I think your lying baby.” She hums and your brows furrow slightly, Nat grabbing the net from your hand and setting it down. “I think, and please correct me if I’m wrong, you stayed because you wanted to be alone with me. Hm?” She asks and you swallow, cheeks heating up as you know that everything she’s saying is true. “Answer me Y/n.” Her tone is firm and it makes your knees buckle, you quickly answering her with a nod of your head. “Yeah..” you mumble out and she grins, grabbing your chin and examining your face for a moment.
“Do you have a crush on me kotenok?” She asks and your eyes widen. “What? N-No! No.” You squeak out, cursing your nerves as your voice betrays your words. “And why would you not? I’ve seen the way you look at me.” She says, her tone amused as you fall apart under her gaze. “Cause you’re my best friends mom..it’s wrong.” You reason and she raises a perfectly shaped brow, her other hand grabbing your waist and pulling you in. ”Cameron doesn’t have to know, it could just be our little secret.” She hums, leaning down and placing a hot kiss onto your neck. Your breath hitches in your throat at the sensation, wanting to pinch yourself to make sure that you weren’t dreaming. “You want this?” You ask out weakly and you can feel the woman smile against your throat, leading her kisses up your neck and along your jaw.
“Oh I’ve always wanted you darling, ever since I saw you all dolled up at graduation.” She whispers and your cheeks burn even more, remembering that look Nat gave you when you walked up to grab your diploma. “And now that I have you here all summer, we can finally have some fun.” Nat grins as she sees the awestruck look on your face, finding it adorable at how flustered you are. “You would like that, wouldn’t you kotenok?” She whispers, leaning in so that you could brush her lips with your own if you wanted to. “Yeah..” You breathe out dreamily, once again smelling her perfume that you missed oh so dearly.
“Can I kiss you, love?” Nat asks and you nod your head slightly, eyes fluttering closed as you both lean in. “Yeah..” You repeat just as Nat presses her lips up against your own, releasing a gentle sigh as you melt into the kiss. It was sweet, gentle, way less intense than Natasha's normal demeanor. You felt loved in her grip, her grasp so gentle like she could break you at any moment. Slowly guiding you over to the outdoor bar, your back gently hits the table, Natasha pressing her hips up against yours as she kisses you deeper. Your hands find purchase on Nat's biceps as your lips part for the older woman, heart pounding in your chest as you feel the passion come through the kiss.
A soft breath of complaint slides past your lips once Natasha pulls away, gently trying to pull her back into the kiss. The only reaction that you get though is a breathy laugh from the other woman, feeling her place a few more kisses on your neck and face. "Mm, Nat." You say softly, in a complaining tone as she's kissing everywhere other than your lips. "Okay okay." She laughs before leaning back in and kissing you softly, you practically melting at her lips. With a few more soft kisses, Nat pulls away, gently caressing your jawline for a moment before stepping away. “As much as I love kissing you, kotenok, you still have a job to do.” She grins and a frown comes over your face, your mouth opening in protest. “But you’re the one who-“ your sentence dies off weakly as Natasha gives you an amused look, those green eyes making your brain turn into mush. “Come on, finish your job and then I’ll make you some food.” Nat hums and you nod your head, not realizing how hungry you are until the thought of Nats cooking pops into your head.
————
“Fuck Nat.”
A soft moan falls past your lips as Natasha kisses your pulse point, gripping onto your hips as she stands between your legs. It’s almost midnight and Cameron has just come back with her boyfriend, you quickly exiting from her room before they start fucking each other.
/
You made your way down to the library to try and sleep in peace, looking forward to sleeping on those huge plush couches. Instead of finding a empty library like you expected, you found Natasha reading there, dressed in some sweatpants and a tank top. Damn, she’s gorgeous. “Hi.” She looks up from her book with a soft smile, seeing your half awake figure look at her. “Hey.” You say softly, blinking the fautige from your eyes as you motion over your shoulder. “Uhm I was gonna sleep in here cause..ya know” You trail off and Nat raises an eyebrow.
“Because my daughter is about to get screwed by her boyfriend?” She asks and you nod your head. “Yeah but I see that you’re in here now so I’ll just go-“ You start as you turn to leave, her words not processing in your head until a few moments later. “Wait, you’re okay with that?” You ask and Nat nods her head, closing the book on her lap and setting it aside. “Why would I not be? She’s in college, she’s a big girl.” She says as she stands up, walking over to you in the middle of the library. “Mm.” You hum in agreement as she reaches you, grabbing the blankets from your hands and placing them on the couch.
“Besides, I’ve had eyes on her best friend for a while.” She says as she gently pulls you in, your lips happily accepting the kiss from the redhead. “Don’t say that.” You whisper as you pull away a bit, your inner turmoil coming back up when you think of how wrong this is. Nat gives you a questioning look and you sigh, her arms wrapping around your torso. “When you say it like that it makes this feel wrong.” You answer her look and her expression softens, her hand rubbing small circles on your back. “Don’t fret, malysh. Everything will be alright.” Nat reassures you as you nod your head, leaning into her warm body as you kiss her. Everything is alright when you’re with Natasha, easily getting lost in the feeling of her lips and the scent of her perfume. The redhead is about to pull away when you wrap your arms around her neck and kiss her deeply, a sudden desire washing over you. You want Natasha. You’ve wanted her for god knows how long and now that you finally have her, you weren’t waiting another minute.
“Mm y/n.” Nat whispers and you shake your head, “Shut up and kiss me Nat.” You mumble and Nat readily complies, hugging you up against her body as her tongue gently parts your lips. Her hands grab at your ass gently and your breath catches in your throat, your body extremely responsive to the attention that Nat is giving it. The taller woman guides you towards the library's desk, biting at your bottom lip gently. You deepen the kiss as Natasha's hands come down to your thighs, pressing there gently to coax you to sit on the table.
/
"Shh baby." Nat hums against your throat, her hands running down your thighs and stop on your knees. Her lips feel deliciously hot against your skin, eliciting a soft whimper from your throat as her hands play with your shorts. "You've never been touched like this, have you baby?" Nat hums and you shake your head, eyes fluttering closed as you melt under her touch. "I've never been..um..touched at all." You whisper, mildly embarrassed at your lack of experience. Sure you've had your fair share of boy toys but you've only gotten kisses from them, never before going all the way. "I'm the first?" Nat asks with and grin and you nod your head, cheeks burning as you feel her gaze on your face. "It's an honor kotenok." She says before kissing you deeply, your mind going fuzzy as you feel her chest press against yours.
"But, I'm going to fucking ruin you." Nat's hands grab your ass and roughly pulls you closer to her, you gasping softly at the sudden movement. "Please ruin me." You beg and Natasha takes off your shirt, your nipples hardening as the cold air comes in contact with your skin. "Fuck baby." Natasha breathes out as her hands come up to your chest, gently tugging and playing with your sensitive nipples. She files away every gasp and whimper that she elicts from you in the back of her mind, grinning as she sees her effect on you. Her head bows down and takes a nipple between her lips, electricity coming from her touch as you bite your lip. “Fuck.” You mumble as the redhead praises your chest, running her teeth over the sensitive nub before soothing it with her tongue. “Please Nat.” You whimper when she doesn’t move lower, loving the praise but wanting to be touched in a different way.
“Please what moya lyubov'?” She hums and you move your hips up against hers slightly, wrapping your legs around her waist and holding her there. “Touch me, I need you.” You beg and she grins, dipping her hands into your pajama shorts. “If you insist.” She hums as she goes straight past your underwear, one of her fingers running through your slick.
“All this for me kotenok?” Natasha bites her lip and you nod your head, cheeks burning once again at how turned on you got. It’s pathetic how submissive you are for the older women, knowing that you would do anything and everything for her if she asked. Her thumb finds your clit and gently presses down, experimenting with your reaction to her touch. Your hips jerk towards her at the action and she grins at that, rubbing slow circles around your bud.
“You like that baby?” She asks and you nod your head, trying to move your hips to get more pressure on your clit. Nat’s middle finger passes one more time through your slit before pushing inside of you, a soft moan falling past your lips. Slowly pumping in and out of you, she soon adds another finger, wanting to see you fall apart at her hands. Your hands grip her shoulders as her fingers pick up the pace, the woman curling her fingers every other thrust to brush against your g-spot. A knot in your stomach forms embarrassingly fast, your moans coming in louder as Nat’s movement quickens.
“Faster.” You gasp out and Natasha kisses your neck. “Faster what?” She mumbles and in your haze your filter doesn’t catch the words that fall from your lips. “Faster, mommy, please.” You moan and you can feel Natasha tense up, your eyes widening as soon as you realize what happened. "Shit I-" You start but your words are cut short by a moan, Natasha curling her fingers up and pushing them deeper. "You like it when Mommy fucks you? Huh kotenok?" Nat rasps out and you practically gush around her fingers, so close to climaxing. "Yes. Fuck yes..Please I'm gonna cum, Mommy- I-" You're a blubbering mess as you warn Natasha, explicit words falling from your lips as you ride her fingers. "Cum for mommy sweetheart, I've got you." Nat's sultry voice whispers and it's enough to push you over your edge, walls clamping down on her fingers as you cum. You let Nat pull you into her arms as she slowly pulls her fingers out of you, bringing her fingers up to your lips.
Parting your lips, you keep eye contact with the older woman, sucking her fingers clean. Nat lets out a soft groan as she feels your tongue lapping at her fingers, releasing them with a pop. "Such a good girl kotenok." She praises before kissing you softly, caressing your face lovingly once she pulls away. "Lets put you to bed, okay sweet thing?" She whispers and you nod your head, clinging onto the redhead as she helps you off the table.
Nat leads you towards one of the plush couches and lays you down, tugging on your pajama shirt before draping a blanket over you "Mm..stay.." You mumble but Natasha shakes her head, gently kissing your temple as she watches your eyes close. "I'll see you in the morning baby. I'm sorry." She whispers but you're already asleep, the older woman looking at you fondly before exiting the library.
----
Your mind is blank as Nat rails you into next week, having bent you over on the kitchen counter and fucking you senseless. It's been a few days since your encounter in the library and Nat couldn't get the image of you out of her mind: heaving chest, bruised lips, messy hair, your mouth parted in an 'o' as you came.
So, at the next opportunity, she pounced on you, bending you over when she found you in the kitchen making a sandwich. Nat's fingers are rubbing your clit as she watches you fall apart on the counter, jeans bunched at your knees and shirt ripped open.
Whorish moans are leaving your throat as Nat absolutely ruins you, hitting deep inside you with every snap of her hips. Suddenly, Nat pulls out of you, roughly turning you around and practically man handling you onto the counter. "What?" You question but Natasha shuts you up, quickly slamming back into you as she grips at your hips. "I wanna see your pretty face when you cum for mommy." She says and your eyes roll back, thighs involuntarily opening even wider to try and get Nat deeper.
"You're my little slut, aren't you kotenok?" Nat mumbles as she kisses your neck, your hands gripping at her back as your legs shake. "Yes, all yours mommy-" You moan out as your walls flutter around the strap, hips rocking to try and chase your climax. "Please, please, please." You whimper as Nat fucks you relentlessly, nails digging into her back. "Cum baby." With one simple phrase you fall apart in Natasha's arms. You gush around the strap on as your moans echo throughout the kitchen, euphoria washing over your body as you ride your high. Chest heaving, you place a soft kiss on Natasha's lips, her hips slowing down to a more moderate pace as she checks on you.
"Are you alright darling?" She hums and you nod your head, sighing softly as you come back down to earth. Leaning in, you kiss each other deeply, your arms snaking around Nat's shoulders as she pulls you closer. Unconsciously, your hips start to grind on the strap on still inside of you, moaning softly into Natasha's mouth as result.
"Such a needy baby huh? Already wanting mommy to fuck you again?" Nat grins once she pulls away, fully ready to fuck you for another hour. Before she gets the chance to though, another person enters the kitchen, a voice you know all too well accompanying it. "Hey Y/n have you finished up with lunch? I was waiting outside forev-" Cameron freezes in place as she sees you and Natasha on the counter, catching the both of you in a very revealing position.
Title: The 5 Times Natasha Held Her Tears Back, And The One Time She Couldn’t
Pairings: (Romantic) Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Warnings: Angst. Just pure angst. Maybe a sprinkle of Fluff. Major Character Death
Reader Pronouns: She/They, (I don’t even think I put the reader’s pronouns in, but it’s what I was thinking of.)
Word Count: 5065 words
Author’s note: I was feeling angsty these past few weeks so why not? I think this is all the angst I have stored in my body for this month. I’ll go back to writing fluff now. I sincerely apologize for this.
⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰
I.
You hated this.
Of course you did. SHIELD managed to destroy what you considered a home. It wasn’t the best, they made you fight each other, they made you sit in a chair, electrocuting you or injecting you with weird chemicals. But you were their best, the best in that institute, and now you would have to fight for the top spot again.
“You. You’re facing our newbie. We need to test her strength.” This too old to be alive, bulky man pointed at a brunette girl, who was now shaking.
“Let’s see if you are what they made you out to be.” Madame B uttered as the guy pushed you to the center.
“Begin.” She said, her eyes focused on your movement.
i saw a tiktok about this and idk where it went so here
summary: You and Nat are ex-red room assassins, one day being given an asshole that you needed to interrogate. He's stubborn and gets on your nerves, a certain comment making Natasha cut the session short a bit..violently.
warnings: violence, y/n and nat being a badass assassin power couple, nat being hot, swearing, smoking/cigarette burns
pre avengers? idk you and nat are doing freelance jobs and shield asks you to do your thing
I LIED, THE SMUT WILL BE THE NEXT POST I PROMISE
"Listen, my teammate is going to come in here soon so it's either you talk now or you'll deal with her." Your demeanor is calm and cool despite the rage you felt inside, your hands placed on the table as you look at the man. "gryaznyy amerikanets, ya ne sobirayus' tebya slushat'." He hisses out, spitting on you as your jaw clenches.
Dirty american, i am not going to listen to you.
You wipe his spit off your face and look at your hand with disgust, seeing his smug grin at your reaction. That grin is quickly wiped off his face as you deliver a harsh slap to his cheek, smirking as blood slowly drips from his nose. "YA russkiy ty idiot." I'm russian, you idiot. You say before standing up, hearing the door get unlocked. Natasha steps into the room and gives you a look, sighing as she sees you shake your head.
Shield has had this man captured for almost a week, trying to do their little nice guy shtick before calling you and your girlfriend in to do it properly.
"Vy priveli druga, a?" The man grins cockily and you cross your arms.
You brought a friend, eh?
He whistles at Natasha and jerks his head over in your direction, a sickening look on his face.
"Pora nachat' nastoyashcheye vesel'ye. Ey, ryzhaya, snimi s suki odezhdu." He bites his lip and you can see Natasha's stance change, her shoulders more tense as she looks at the man.
Time for the real fun to start. Hey redhead, take the bitch's clothes off.
When neither of you move his cocky look turns into one of anger, barking out a "Do it!" as he looks at you.
In the blink of an eye Natasha grabs him by the head and forces it back, pulling out her knife from her thigh holster and pressing it up against his throat. "Kak naschet vmesto.." How about instead.. Natasha hisses as she jerks his head back, a whimper coming from his throat as the cool blade presses further into his skin.
"Vy nachinayete govorit' nam to, chto my khotim slyshat', a ya ne budu ispol'zovat' vashu golovu v kachestve misheni. Aga?"
You start telling us what we want to hear, and I wont use your head as target practice. Yeah?
She smirks as he nods his head, making eye contact with you briefly before puling her knife from his throat. Damn you were touching yourself tonight.
----
You silently fill out the file as you sit across from the prisoner, the man spilling his guts after a good amount of violence persuasion. "You don't scare me, you know." The muttered statement breaks through the silence and you glance up from the papers, an eyebrow raised as you look at him. "Excuse me?" You ask and he shakes his head, chucking in amusement. "The only reason I told you anything was because your butch bodyguard was here. You probably can't do shit." He taunts and you laugh breathlessly, looking back down at your papers as your tongue runs along your inner cheek.
"Hey, if you aren't gonna do anything but sit there and look pretty, would you be a doll and light a cigarette for me? It's in my jacket sweetheart." He says after another long period of silence, causing you to sigh and put your papers down. "Fine." You say with a tight lipped smile, grabbing the cigarette from his jacket and lighting it. He grins as you walk over to him, looking up at you and parting his lips. Instead of letting him get a smoke though, you press the lit end up against his cheek, a cry of agony coming from his mouth before you slam his head down onto the table. His head comes back up and you roughly grab the back of it, leaning down so he can hear you loud and clearly. "You've got your cigarette, now shut up before I slam your face again." You spit out, releasing the back of his head with a shove before continuing with your files. You knew Natasha was watching you so you throw a look towards the one way mirror, already imagining your girlfriend bite her lip at the scene.
----
Natasha grabs your hips and roughly presses her front up against your back, both of you standing in front of the camera monitors. "That was hot." She mumbles as she kisses your neck, your eyes fluttering closed as your girlfriend moves her hips up against your ass. "We could take down all of Shield right now." You say your thoughts as Natasha's hot breath hits your throat, feeling your girlfriend give a soft hmm in response. "Do you want to?" Nat asks and you laugh softly, feeling her warm hands run over your suit. "Nah, I feel like they'd be a good organization to have on our side. I was just saying that it would be so easy if we wanted to." You gently kiss her cheek and she nods her head, a small grin on her face as you look at each other. "Since when have you worried about having allies? Last week we almost took down Hydra because they didn't have the chips that you liked." Nat teases and you smile, shrugging as your hands move down to intertwine with hers. "We can't do this forever, Nat. When the time comes we need to pick a side and I'm thinking that Shield is a good option." You say and she nods her head, hips still gently moving against you. "You think they'd let us if we asked?" She asks and you shrug, kissing the back of her hand as you glance up at the monitors. "Probably, because if they didn't they'd have one large enemy against them." You grin and Natasha only chuckles against your neck.
You both stay there for a few more moments before you pull yourself out of her grip, turning to face her as her hands remain on your hips. "Im going to check in with Fury, see if he needs us for anything else." You say and she nods her head, both of you leaning in for a kiss. Instead of connecting your lips though, you gently brush them over one another, a grin forming on your lips as you feel Natasha trying to close that gap. "Fucking tease." She whispers and you only laugh, walking away from the console as you could feel her eyes on you.
----
"Shield is gonna take you from here." You say to the man as you check his restraints, Natasha walking into the room as you do so. "Hey babe, I got you some food. You haven't eaten all day." Natasha says, holding up a bag of food. A smile graces across your face as you walk over to Nat, touching her arm gently as you thank her. "She shouldn't have the calories." The man comments, his voice dripping with disgust as Nat glares at him. "What?" Natasha asks, her tone dangerously calm as she looks at him. "I said she's fa-" The man doesn't get to finish his sentence as Natasha pulls out her gun and shoots him in the chest, her hand recoiling back only a bit as Fury walks in. "Romanoff! What the hell?" He questions as he sees the redhead hold the gun up, the man slumped over in his chair. "He was getting on my nerves." She shrugs before holding the bag up to you, a small smile returning to your face. "It's your favorite." :)
In the MCU the language is referred to as Xhosa. Even in the subtitles of Black Panther. The director, actors ESPECIALLY John Kani who played King T'Chaka and Xhosa being his native language worked too damn hard for the closed caption team of future MCU projects and fans to call that very real language 'Wakandan'. John Kani speaks fluent Xhosa and the cast felt it was right to make that the native language of Wakanda. So to REITERATE OP's point AGAIN: STOP calling the very REAL Xhosa language "Wakandan language".
💌 send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome 💌 hehe *grabs ur hand this time* lesbianism
dude my WIP's are just natasha romanoff x reader smut and angst..
next post:
- milf!natasha x college!reader (it's like a pwp tbh)
summary: when you can’t find a summer job, your best friend offers you a position as a groundskeeper. You gratefully accept the offer but over the summer, you develop feelings for someone you really shouldn’t have.
That ao3 fic reminds me of how when George floyd was murdered like three days later some marvel fan made a fic like "on Tuesday george floyd was murdered. On thursday the avengers had a press conference" or some shit like it's literally heinous. White people just see our suffering as fodder for their stupid fantasies and it's so depressing and so demoralizing. How fucked up do you have to be to see us suffering and want to write about it? To sit there and research details about a Black man's murder at the hands of white supremacy, not to educate yourself in the hopes of being more aware about the world or to help the fight with others, but to headcanon how you think these fantasy characters that don't fucking exist might respond to a murder they wouldn't even have blinked at in-canon (and whose actors also frequently remain silent)? Ultimately all for views and likes? Do you people just hate Black people that much?
And what's crucial about this, what a lot of white fans want to ignore, is that the AO3 mods absolutely refuse to take these fics down. The creators, runners, and supporters of AO3 are largely white and largely apathetic to the various ways that Black people get dehumanized. Just go through any post made by AO3 defenders and they're more willing to argue about sex and purity than the myriad forms of violence that white (women, mostly) will engage in to dehumanize Black people for their personal enjoyment. It's chronic. It's racist. It's absolutely flooded AO3 and the mods cover up their antiBlack apathy (or outright antiBlack antagonism) with claims that doing anything about this is censorship. They fully and wholly believe that """fan engagement""" is more important than racism--if anything, they don't think it's possible to even have fan engagement without virulent antiBlackness.
White fans see this, ignore it, and--like the reactionaries they are--donate dozens and dozens and dozens of times until Archive of Our Own quadruples it's goal. They scroll past donation posts for Black people in need and in danger to donate to AO3, all for the mods there to keep doing what they're doing, which is ignoring antiBlackness, supporting racism, and shouting down any dissenters by directly stating they must be procensorship.
wtf?! people can write whatever they want but this crosses a line. it is blatantly rude and insensitive to use an event like George Floyd’s death for the plot of your writing. anti blackness is still a very prominent issue in our world today and it shouldn’t be used for a fucking plot line. people get killed and harassed for the color of their skin everyday and it’s disgusting to see someone fantasize about it. please don’t do this.
summary: y/n and natasha will do anything for love, whether they realize it or not
warnings: nsfw themes, angst, brainwashing, violence, kidnapping, y/n and nat making dramatic calls, injury, basically "fuck" in different contexts
word count: 7,354
(sorry this is long I didn't want to split it up into more parts, not proofread as always)
(ALSO SIDE NOTE LOOK AT HER HANDS MY LESBIANISM IS FUCKING SCREAMING)
"You're pulling your punches." The man in stars, you now know as steve rogers, says as he stands across from you, nose bloody and shield in hand. You raise an eyebrow being your mask, as if asking him "You want me to stop?" After a pause, he nods his head and gets back into a fighting stance. "Please, continue."
Ever since that little..ahem..incident with Natasha, she's been telling you to not hurt her teammates, even though most of them have superpowers you might add, so you've been pulling your punches in fights ever since. You still beat their asses it was just..a lighter beating. You were treading in dangerous waters here, knowing that if Hydra suspects you even in the slightest bit they'll bring you back to the lab and wipe your mind again.
You dodge a swing from Steves shield and quickly knock him off balance, playing more defense than offense at this point. The Avenger quickly regains his traction and charges at you, tackling you to the ground so that the wind gets knocked out of you. You, as best as you can, try to dodge his punches on the ground, genuinely surprised when the asphalt underneath you sinks in with his punch. When his fist sinks into the ground once more, you grab his torso and use your legs to shove him off of you, landing a punch in that all-American boy face of his once you get on top of him. Instead of beating the man bloody like you would usually do, you shove yourself up and move away from him, trying to spot Natasha in all the chaos.
Your search stops when you hear Natasha's voice from behind you, her words being accompanied with a punch. "Hey." The punch isn't enough to hurt you but its enough to grab your attention as you turn around and grab her arm. Your grip is firm but not uncomfortable, letting Nat know that they hadn't brainwashed you yet. "Hey." You reply back, throwing a punch that she easily blocked. "You still with me?" She asks as her hand grabbing your wrist twists it back. "I let the guy with the metal arm beat me up twice, what do you think?" You say as you hit her stomach to make her stumble back.
The hits are hard but not fatal as Natasha moves to kick you in the stomach, you easily grabbing her leg and pulling her down to the ground. You land on top of her and you grin, "You've gotten soft, Romanoff." You tease in a breathy laugh as you see her quirk an eyebrow up. "Don't pretend like I can't kick your ass with my eyes closed, y/l/n." She says as she quickly shifts her weight and pins you down, an amused look on her face. "How come you always end up on your back when I'm with you?" She asks and you roll your eyes, scoffing but also realizing how true she is. Before you can reply there's comm's static in your ears, a Hydra officer barking the command to move out.
"I've got to go." You say as Nat gets off of you, hopping back up and making sure you've got your gun in it's holster. "Where will you be tonight?" Natasha asks as you fix yourself, her statement causing you to shoot her a teasing look under your mask. "You'll find me Romanoff." And with that, you turn and leave, not needing to look back to see the amused look on the red-heads face.
--------
"Couldn't find any more shitty hotels?" Natasha asks as she sees you standing behind a run-down gas station, chewing on some gum that you bought with the change you found on the sidewalk. "They were all booked." You shrugged, lips turning up a bit at the sight of your favorite person. "Mm, come here." Natasha hums as she reaches you, gently pulling you in by your chin to kiss you.
These secret meetings have been happening for a while now, being both beneficial to the two of you and the Avengers.
You immediately told Natasha about Hydra's plan about building the next atomic weapon soon after her head came up from between your thighs, the redhead listening intently as you spill all of Hydra's intel. That's when she told you about them, the Avengers, and how they protect the world from Hydra and otherworldly threats. She said she might introduce you to them sometime, saying that the people there don't see others for their worst mistakes.
At that point in time though, you didn't care what side you were on, as long as Natasha was there you would fight alongside her. That's how it was like for your entire life, not caring about the sides of good or evil, only ever caring about Natasha and keeping her safe.
You wince at her action and she pulls back immediately, a concerned look on her face as she looks for the cause of your pain. It's then when she sees the blossoming bruise on your jaw, right where her fingertips grazed when she pulled you in. "Who did this?" She asked and you shrug, reaching up to touch the purple and red spot. "The guy with the metal arm, it really packs a punch." You reply as you see the worry lines deepen between her brows, causing you to cup her neck and pull her in for a soft kiss. "I'm alright Nat." You whisper, kissing her a few more times before leaning back. "I've gone through worse." You say and she frowns, intertwining her free hand with yours as cars pass by. "Haven't we all." Nat sighs and you nod, running your thumb along the back of her hand.
-------
"Fuck! Tasha!"
You grip the back of the headboard as Natasha brings you to another orgasm, knuckle deep inside of you as she kisses your chest lustfully. "That's it, good girl." The redhead hums as your chest rises and falls, you trying to catch your breath as Natasha's fingers start to gradually slow down. Cum coats your inner thighs and sweat sheens your skin in regards to the many times Natasha has made you cum in the past few hours, finally deciding that you've had enough when she fully pulls her fingers out.
"God you have a lot of stamana." You laugh as your breathing finally calms down, moving your hand to pull her into a deep kiss. "I still have a lot more in me, y'know." Natasha hums as she moves to kiss your jaw, trailing it down your neck as she peppers kisses along the flushed skin. "I know just- just give me a minute." You breaths out as you let your eyes fluttered closed, liking the feeling of Natasha laying between your legs as she praises your skin.
It's not long after when your arousal starts to build again, deciding to take the initiative by gently bringing Nat's lips up to yours. "Natalia." You say breathily, your free hand intertwining with Natasha's hair. "Zachem tebe moy golub'?" She asks, heat pooling in her stomach as she feels you tug at her roots. "Ya tak khochu tebya trakhnut', Tasha." Your tone is filled with lust as you kiss Nat deeper, teeth tugging at lips and tongues meeting one another. "Mm bud' moim gostem." She hums and you grin, flipping Natasha over so she's on her back. You look at her for a second and smile, causing her to give you a curious look. "What are you looking at?" She asks with a small smile and you shrug, "You." You hum before kissing her, your teeth tugging at her bottom lip as your hands move down south.
"My god you're cheesy."
-------
"Nat, wait up." Steve catches up with Natasha as she's walking down the compound hallway, the assassin slowing down her stride as the super-soldier gets in step with her. That little action is enough to tell Steve to continue, taking a moment to contemplate his words before speaking. "So..y/n." He starts off slow to see Natashas reaction, deciding that it was okay when the redhead kept a straight face.
"What about her?" She asks and Steve purses his lips together, thinking for a moment before grabbing Nat by the arm and pulling her into a storage closet. "What the hell, Rogers?" Nat asks as Steve closes the door behind them, his voice going down to a whisper as he speaks.
"I know you've been seeing her, Tasha." He starts off and Nat only furrows her brows, looking up annoyedly at the man. "I don't know what you're talking about." She says and he raises his eyebrow. "You're not being discrete Nat. I've seen you fight before and what you do with her is not it. You've knocked down people twice your size before but let her fight you like it's some sparring session." Steve says and Natasha opens her mouth to interject. "She's trained with me in the Red Room, of course she's going to be on my level-" "And that too. After every encounter we have with them you disappear for the evening, usually not arriving until 3 am with Hydra information given to you by your "inside source."" He finishes and Natasha sighs, knowing that she's been caught.
"Okay fine, you want to know the truth?" She asks in a low voice and he nods his head, waiting for Natasha to give her explanation. "I've been- fuck- I've been meeting with her after missions. She used to be brainwashed by Hydra but she broke out of it, hence the reason she's giving me information on Hydra's plans." She says and he stays quiet, the puzzle pieces clicking together as Natasha continues. "I've missed her, Steve, after all these years so I go to make sure she's okay and..other things." Her sentence trails off as she doesn't want to reveal her sex life to her best friend.
"Other things?" Cap raises his eyebrow and Tasha rolls her eyes. "We..comfort each other in not safe for work ways." She says and Steve looks confused for a moment before his mouth opens in a soft "oh- ohhh." "Just please don't tell the team, Steve. You out of all people should understand what it's like to have someone you..care about..taken by Hydra." Nat says and Steve's face softens, a gentle sigh escaping his lips before a grin breaks across it.
"Is this love, Agent Romanoff?" He asks and she shakes her head, stepping back to grab the door handle. "Love is for children, Rodgers, this is just.." She pauses, trying to find the correct word for the situation that she's in. "Comfort?" He offers and she nods her head, opening the door fully. "Comfort."
------
You watch Natasha with curious eyes as she towel dries her hair, you only being dressed in underwear and a bra as you lay stomach-down on the bed. It had been a particularly hard fight that day, Hydra pushing to take bigger strides in their next big war machines. The Avengers, of course, came in and tried to stop them and they conveniently broke into the base that you were being held at.
You were there being punished for your recent behavior, Hydra officers treating you like an animal as they kicked and hit you. "It needs to be put back into it's place." They practically spat at you like you were some sort of monster, threatening you with knifes to your throat as they criticized every breath you took. The next time they send you into the lab, you know you're going to get brainwashed, waiting for the scale to tip as you sat there helplessly watching. You just found Natasha after years of suffering and you weren't too keen on forgetting her.
A soft hand against your back pulls you back into reality as you see where Natasha's soft gaze is looking at, her fingertips gently tracing the scars along your back. "What are you looking at?" You ask even though it's pretty obvious, Natasha's emerald eyes meeting yours. "Who did this to you?" She asks with furrowed brows and you shrug one shoulder. "You want me to give you a list?" You joke half-heartedly as she moves across the bed, gently straddling your back as you feel her fingertips map out your scars. The feeling makes you hum contently, your eyes fluttering closed as Natasha touches you like the most delicate thing in the world.
Nat has never been the soft type, choosing to show her love through reassuring shoulder pats and quiet comfort instead of gushy romantic acts. That's why it genuinely surprises you when you feel a soft kiss placed on your back, right where a stab wound was a few years ago. "I'm gonna kill every single one of them." She mumbles and you can't help the laugh that escapes your lips, your head turning to look over your shoulder. "I know." You hum, a feeling of déjà vu washing over you.
------
"Kto sdelal eto s toboy?"
Who did this to you?
Natasha's voice is clipped as she holds your chin with her fingers, seeing you try and blink back the tears that threaten to fall. Your nose is bruised and bleeding, the skin under your eyes starting to turn purple and red.
"Anastasiya."
Your voice is barely above a whisper as rage burns in Natasha's eyes. Anastasiya is one of the older girls in the Red Room, almost four years older than you and a good five heads taller. You had beaten her when you were sparring but as soon as no one else was looking she got you cornered, making the other girls her age hold you down as she took out her rage on you.
"Ona bol'she nikogda ne prikosnetsya k tebe, kogda ya zakonchu s ney."
She will never touch you again when I'm done with her.
You know that tone on Natasha, knowing that Anastasiya is going to have more than one bend in her arm when Natasha gets done with her.
"Nat, ne nado. U tebya budut problemy, i ya spravlyus' sam."
Nat, don't. You're going to get in trouble and I can handle myself.
Natasha's face softens a bit as she looks at you, her other hand coming up to rub your shoulder.
"YA znayu, pauchok, no pozvol' mne napomnit' yey."
I know, little spider, but let me give her a reminder.
-------
"But-" You start and she nods her head. "But you can handle yourself, I know." Natasha says, moving up a bit to kiss your shoulder. “No, what I was going to say was that they all died shortly after.” You say and she laughs softly against your skin, mumbling a “good girl” as she goes to kiss your cheek. Her lips conveniently land on the scar she gave you all those years ago, the thin line going along your cheekbone.
"That, you did yourself." You say teasingly but you can see her face drop a bit, her lips peppering over the scarred skin. "I'm sorry." She whispers but you shake your head, turning under her so you can face her. "It's okay Nat, we were young and they forced us to train with knives. Shit happens." You say nonchalantly, hands playing with the hem of her tank top. It's then when you see the scars on Natasha's skin, bullet wounds and cuts littering her skin. She notices your gaze and moves her hand down to hold yours, seeing your brows furrow.
You glance up at Natasha and feel your chest tighten as you see her look down at your intertwined hands, her thumb gently brushing up and down the back of your hand. "Your hands have changed." Natasha states under her breath as she glances up at you briefly, seeing you raise an eyebrow in question. "What do you mean?" You ask and Natasha holds your intertwined hands up.
"See, there's more scars on your knuckles and there's a new cut right here." She says and you nod your head, not really noticing the changes until now. "The last time I saw you, they were so much different." She mumbles and you raise an eyebrow, a slightly amused look on your face. "Since when have you paid so much attention to my hands?" You ask and she shrugs, your heart rate speeding up as you watch Natasha's fingers play with your own.
--------
"YA skazal tebe, chto u tebya budut problemy."
I told you that you'd get in trouble.
You hum as you gently grab Natasha's bruised hands, taking a ripped piece of cloth to clean up her bleeding knuckles.
"Oni sobiralis' rasskazat' o nas instruktoram."
They were going to tell the instructors about us.
Natasha winces as you wrap up her hands, carefully making sure that it isn't too tight as you tend to her injury.
"My mogli by spravit'sya s etim, Nat."
We could have handled it, Nat.
You sigh and Natasha shakes her head, her free hand moving to rest on her knee.
"No oni by nas nakazali."
But they would have punished us.
You nod your head and bite your lip, looking up into those green eyes as you hold her hand gently in your own.
"YA mog by prinyat' eto za nas oboikh."
I could have taken it for the both of us.
Natahsa's eyebrows furrow as she hears your words, her bandaged hand coming up to cup your cheek as the other grabs your free hand.
"Net."
No.
She gently brings your hand up to kiss your knuckles lightly.
"Net, ya ne pozvolyu tebe sdelat' eto dlya menya."
No, I won't let you do that for me.
You slowly move your hand to cup her cheek, Natasha's hand moving to cover your own.
"YA by vzyal na sebya mir za tebya, Natal'ya."
I would take on the world for you, Natalia.
Your words are a whisper but to Natasha, it was like a shout from the rooftops. The redhead slowly moves and kisses your hand that was resting on her cheek, causing a blush to dust your cheeks as she softly smiles at you.
"I ya dlya vas."
And I for you.
------------
Gently guiding her hand to cup your cheek, the both of you smile, you leaning into the warm touch as Natasha relishes the moment.
---------
You awake with a jolt as you hear heavy doors close outside of the motel room, it now being in the dead of night. Slowly moving from Natasha's arms, you go take a look outside, hoping to see that there's nothing. Your hopes are shattered when through the window, you can see the faint outline of a Hydra vehicle and multiple armed men, your heartrate spiking as you see the ones in white coats. "Shit." You hiss out as you start to pull clothes on, all of the rustling causing Natasha to awake. "Y/n?" She asks groggily as she sees you frantically moving around the room, hastily putting a shirt on and trying to find your weapon.
"Y/n what's happening?" She restates herself and is fully awake when you finally make eye contact with her, seeing the worry behind your eyes as you move towards her. "Nat, they're here." You rush out as you hand her some clothes, frantically trying to get the redhead out of here before she could get involved. "Whose here? Hydra?" She questions and you nod your head, feeling the bridge of your nose start to sting as reality comes crashing down on you. "They're here for me- shit- you have to go." You say as you try and pull yourself together.
"What? No, Y/n, I'm not leaving you again." Natasha says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, pulling on some clothes and shoes. "Natalia this isn't fucking debatable, okay? I won't ever forgive myself if they get their hands on you." You say as you glance out the window one more time, mumbling a curse word as you start to see the figures close in. "Why are you acting like I can't handle myself?" Nat asks and you shake your head, opening a window opposite to the parking lot.
"I know you can handle yourself Nat, I've seen you fight hoards of threats and make your way out alive..I just don't want to pull you into this fight with me." You say before crossing the room and standing in front of Nat. "You've been the only thing I've cared about my entire life, please understand why I want you safe." Your voice is softer as you speak to her, her green eyes still prominent in the moonlit room. "What about you?" Nat asks in a whisper, a worried expression set across her face as you give her a watery grin.
"You know I never die, Natalia." You say as she shakes her head. "I'm like a cat and my lives haven't run out just yet." You continue and a laugh breaks past Nat's lips, causing you to smile even as a tear runs down your cheeks. "There it is." You breathe out and she looks at you questioningly. "What is it?" She asks. "I just wanted to see your smile one last time." You reply as you kiss a tear from her cheek, Natasha then moving to gently kiss your lips. The kiss is soft and passionate, you both trying to communicate to each other a message you both aren't ready to say yet.
Sooner than you'd like, the two of you break away, both of you giving the other a watery smile as you sniffle. "I'll come back to you, Nat. I promise." You whisper and she nods her head, gently kissing your temple as your eyes flutter closed. "You better, or else I'll beat your ass." She says and you give a shaky chuckle, hearing the Hydra men starting to kick down apartment doors. "I'm planning on it."
Hydra doesn't take long to storm the motel room, quickly seizing you before you had a chance to react. You were happy to comply with them until you saw them grab Natasha's arm, you immediately tearing from the Hydra agent's grip to tackle his ass. You successfully break his arm but aren't so lucky when you feel a wave of electricity shoot through your body, every muscle tensing up as you fall to the floor. "Fuck." You curse through gritted teeth as you force yourself to get up, looking at Natasha with desperate eyes as she hasn't left yet.
"Go!"
As the words leave your lips, both of you could almost see each other back on that mountainside, the dead bodies of the other girls littered around you as you kill another one for Natasha to escape. It felt like you were a teenager again, seeing Natasha teeter between staying and leaving as she stood at the treeline. A grunt of pain leaves your lips as one of the men shoves you into a desk, the wood breaking underneath you as air rushes out of your lungs. You've only taken down a few men, stabbing one of them in the throat with their own knife. As they start to overwhelm you, you take one last look at Natasha, seeing as she's taking one last glance at you as her hands rest on the window frame. As you lock eyes with her, you say one simple phrase.
"It's okay."
-------
Natasha isn't paying attention at all in the meeting the next day, not getting the image of your worried look out of her mind. “Romanoff, did you hear me?” Tony asks and her eyes glance upwards, the other Avengers looking at her as they await her answer. “Sorry, what?” She asks and Tony sighs, pointing towards a highlighted point in the mountainside. "From the information we've gathered, Bruce surmises that the next Hydra base is here, the building located about thirty feet below the surface." He explains and Natasha nods her head, her attention immediately being drawn when the word Hydra slips past his lips. "I was asking your opinion on how we should enter the compound without getting caught." Tony finishes, waiting for Natasha to give her input as he sees the gears turning in her head.
"It's the compound that they use for their experiments, right?" She asks and Steve nods his head, Nat sighing as she looks at the dot on the map. "Well considering that it's underground they only need security for the entrances and exits, probably have a few patrolling the perimeter..I think our best entry point is here." She says, standing up and pressing a pen to the western side of the mountain. "Of course, we always have the risk of getting caught but it's lower than just walking through the front door." Natasha explains and all of the Avengers nod their head, she's not a trained soldier but she's a damn good spy if they've ever seen one.
------
"Nat, are you alright?" Steve asks after everyone clears out of the conference area, grabbing the assassin's arm before she leaves. "They've got her, Steve." She says and his eyebrows furrow. "Who?" He asks and Natasha sighs, looking up at the super-soldier. "Y/n. They took her last night." She explains and Steve sees the worry on his friend's face. "Do you think she's at the base we're going to?" He asks and Natasha shrugs her shoulders, "I don't know, but if she is there I'm gonna tear up the whole place until I find her." She says and Steve nods, seeing the determination in Nat's eyes. "We'll get her back Natasha." He says and Nat grins a bit, "I know."
-----
It's easy, almost too easy, getting into the Hydra base, Natasha only taking out five guards patrolling the area and guarding the entrance. "This doesn't feel right to me." Steve says as they head towards the entrance, the fresh snow crunching under their boots. "Nothing ever feels right to you, Cap." Hawkeye says as he flys overhead, making sure no Hydra agents get the jump on the pair. Natasha only quirks her head to the side when Steve makes eye contact with her, agreeing with both men as they reach the entrance. Natasha scans the entry card that they swiped off the guard and the door opens, immediately granting them access into the underground base.
-----
"Give her a sedative." One of the doctors commands as you continue to struggle, hitting anything you could reach as they try to strap you onto a stretcher. They've been touring and interrogating you the entire night, bargaining for information instead of brainwashing you.
"We saw that Avenger in the motel, tell us what you know and we won't wipe your memory." They say but you only clench your jaw and stay silent, ripping yourself from their grip each time they try and contain you.
"Don't you fucking touch me!" You grit out as you knock one of the men unconscious, kicking the stretcher away from you as you watch the doctor run to grab a sedative. Your body is covered in blood and bruises, still putting up a fight since you were taken a day ago. Getting shoved up against the wall you cry out in pain, your head getting aggressively slammed against the wall. You don't even realize the doctors came back with a sedative until you feel the prick of the needle in your neck, your vision going blurry as the fight leaves your body.
You don't put up a struggle as they drag you onto the stretcher, strapping your arms and legs down as everything moves in slow motion around you.
You know where they're taking you. You know you're about to get brainwashed.
As they push you down the hallway, you slowly close your eyes and try to burn the image of Natasha's face into your mind, feeling slightly calmer as you think of her wrapping you up in her arms and telling you that everything is going to be okay.
The next time you open your eyes, you're strapped down into the metal chair that they use for brainwashing, feeling like you're a shell of a person as you look down at your restraints. They force a piece of plastic into your mouth as you blankly stare at the doctors in white coats, only one thing on your mind as they prep the machine.
Natasha.
A tear rolls down your cheek quietly as the restraints latch onto you tighter, forcing you to lay back as your breathing starts to get heavier.
It never gets easier, the brainwashing, knowing that you'll only be a puppet to Hydra with no free will.
The metal paddles clamp around your head and your heart rate spikes, hearing the doctors beside you start to say the words you always dreaded to hear.
"Snow."
"Sixteen."
"Red."
With each word, you could feel the control leaving your body, bracing yourself for the pain that's going to come next.
"Ballet."
"Redback."
"Knife."
A scream rips from your throat as pain surges through your body, the machine being activated and making you pull against the restraints. Your vision fades in and out of focus as you continue to scream, every muscle in your body tensing as the brainwashing takes over.
You try your best to fight the pain, your mind trying desperately to hold onto the memory of Natasha as your trigger words reach your ears.
Natasha.
Natasha..
Natasha..?
Natalia?
Natalia..
No, it's Natasha.
Nat?
Natasha.
Natalia.
...
...
who?
Your eyes are blank as the machine finally releases you from its grip, a scientist having a pleased look on his face as he walks up to you. "Just to make sure this doesn't happen again." he says before commanding you to put your head forward, gripping your hair as he presses a cool metal gun to the back of your neck. With a click you could feel something being put into your neck, the new object feeling irritating under your skin. It's a small chip, maybe a quarter wide, and it's now attached to the nape of your neck, the needles embedding into your skin to make sure it stays in place.
"Are you ready to comply, Agent 809?" He asks and you nod your head, suddenly hearing alarms go off that there's been a security breach in the compound. "Say the word, sir, your wish is my command." You say and he grins, grabbing your chin. "Kill the Avengers." He says and you look at him in the eyes. "Main target?" You ask and he thinks for a moment, looking at the Hydra officers before looking back at you. ''The Black Widow."
------
Natasha hears your screams ring through the compound and she feels her blood run cold, Steve grabbing her arm before she could do anything stupid. "Natasha, don't." He says in a harsh whisper and she shakes her head, pulling herself from her grip as she continues to move down the hallway.
She quickly takes down the next few guards that she sees, not using her bullets yet so they don’t cause the rest of the base to be alerted of their presence. That plan doesn’t last long though when a guard gets the upper hand on her, causing her to shoot two bullets into his chest and making him drop. As soon as the shots are fired, alarms go off across the compound, causing Natasha to curse under her breath. “Language.” Steve says and Natasha rolls her eyes, picking up her gun and racing down the hallway to try and find you.
———-
Natasha kicks down a set of double doors and shoots the people inside, scanning the room for any sign of you. They've gone through 95% percent of the compound and haven't found you yet, Natasha getting more and more anxious as time goes on. "I heard her, I swear." She tells Steve each time they clear an area and come up empty.
It isn't until she sees you strapped to the chair that she lets out a breath of relief, you seemingly normal accept for the cuts and bruises. "Y/n, oh god you're okay." She breathes out as she reaches you, seeing the dazed look in your eyes as she undoes your restraints.
"I'm sorry." You whisper out in a last-ditch attempt to warn her before your chip clicks on. "Sorry? You're sorry for what?" Natasha asks but doesn't get a chance to reply before you knock her backwards, tearing out of the remaining restraints as you stand up.
The wind gets knocked out of Natasha and Steve gets into a fighting stance, you not even giving him a glance as you head towards Natasha. Steve quickly intervenes and throws his shield at you, your hand sticking out to grab it before tossing it to the floor. "That's all you've got, Capitan?" You sneer teasingly as you grab a knife from the table, getting a swing on him and clipping him in the cheek.
The super soldier quickly hits back though, kicking you in the stomach and making you stumble back. You quickly grab one of the cords that was attached to a computer and you wrap it around the Avenger's neck, maneuvering yourself so that you're behind him and pulling tight.
Stumbling backwards, he throws himself up against the wall, successfully breaking your grip as you get pinned between the wall and the Avenger. Steve quickly turns and pins you up against the wall by your neck, pulling his fist back to punch you. "Steve!" Natasha hisses out his name harshly and he turns to look at her, temporarily forgetting that you're brainwashed. He groans and tosses you to the floor, seeing the glowing chip on the back of your neck. You quickly get back up and go for Natasha, the redhead dodging your swing and making your fist go through the wall. "Y/n. Stop it." Natasha grits out as she grabs your arm and twists it behind your back, a hiss leaving your lips as you feel your muscles pop.
"Who. the fuck. is y/n?" You spit out as you maneuver yourself around and hit Natasha back, grabbing her throat and tossing her up against the wall. "They want me to kill you, so that's what I'm going to do." You say as you grab a beaker besides you, breaking it to create a shattered edge. You're about to swing the bottle when Steve comes up behind you and hits the back of your neck with his shield (and you swear later on that if he did it any harder your neck would have snapped). A cry of pain leaves your lips as the chip sparks and you stumble forward, your head bowing into Natasha's shoulder as pain surges through your body. Natasha freezes as she sees your shoulder slump, a small whimper of "Natasha." leaving your lips as the chip short circuits. "Y/n?" She asks and she sees your hand come up to grip at the back of your neck, your other hand dropping the shattered beaker. "Nat. The chip." You breathe out as you feel it starting to take hold again, pushing yourself away from her as your mind clouds over again.
"Steve, hit the chip again." Natasha commands and Steve nods his head, watching as your shoulders tense up again as you attack Natasha. She quickly blocks all of your hits and flips you over onto the floor, you quickly gripping onto her arm and pulling her down onto the floor with you.
The chip sparks again and for a second you regain control, scrambling up to the control panel and enabling the emergency demolition program. "What are you doing?" Steve asks and your jaw tenses, shutting all of the Hydra officers inside by locking all the exits except one. "I'm blowing this place up." You mumble, jaw tensing as the chip revs up once again. "I've locked all of them in, if you go to exit c9 that'll be the only one unlocked so you can escape." You say as you lock all of the doors inside of the compound, keeping all of them in place so they can't run.
"What about you?" Natasha asks as she gets up from the floor, looking at the chip flicker on and off. "The chip will take over sooner or later, I'd rather die in this explosion than let them use my body again." You say as you grip the side of the table, everything in your body being split in two with each side fighting to take control. "No you're not, we're getting you out of here." Steve says and it genuinely surprises the both of you, the man in stars grabbing your arm as you slam the button down to activate the explosion.
T-minus: two minutes
"I don't deserve to get out of here." You shake your head as you look at Natasha's neck, now bruised with your handprint as you wince. "I've hurt you, I've hurt her, I've hurt so many people. All of it is on my hands." You say and Natasha shakes her head, grabbing your hand and kissing the back of it gently. "I've left you once, Y/n, I'm not letting you go again." She says and you think for a moment, alarms blaring around you as you see the pleading look on her face. "Alright." You whisper, allowing Natasha to pull you out of the room as Steve follows close behind you.
You run down the hallway as you guide the two other Avengers towards the exit, quickly taking out any Hydra agents that gets in your way.
"There! There it is." You call out as you see exit c9, all three of you running towards it as the speakers count down.
T-minus: thirty seconds
The chip fully kicks back into gear as your eyes widen, your strides slowing down as it feels like someone wraps restraints around your body. "No, no no no. Please not now." You beg to yourself as both Steve and Nat notice, your eyes turning dead as your legs start to carry you away from the exit. "Oh no you don't." Natasha grits out as she tackles you, dragging you towards the exit as you fight against her.
Twenty five..
"Let go of me!" You hiss as you tear from her grip and Steve lingers near the exit, watching the interaction happen as a metal curtain starts to descend over the only open exit. "I'm taking you home, Y/n." Natasha says as she grabs onto your body, Steve moving to keep the door open as he calls the two of you to move.
Nineteen..
"Steve! Go!" Natasha yells out as she drags you towards the exit, blocking each hit you try and swing at her. Steve shakes his head and calls out over the alarms, "I'm not leaving you two!"
Natasha looks at him and shakes her head, being only ten feet from the exit. "Just go! I'm right behind you." She says and Steve reluctantly steps through the exit, the now dented metal sheet continuing to close on the two of you.
fifteen..
fourteen..
"Y/n please, stop fighting me." Natasha begs as you tear out of her grip again, heart-pounding as the alarms fill her head. "Why should I listen to you? You left me. You were everything to me and then you just left me!" You ask harshly as you see the tears in her eyes, Natasha seeing the real you starting to break through. "I didn't want to leave you, Y/n! I'm sorry!" Natasha's voice raises a bit in volume. "I wanted you to come but you were stubborn and stayed behind for me! You stayed behind and when I went back to you..you were already gone." She says and the gears turn in your head. "Then why are you here? Why are you going through so much trouble for me when you have a perfectly good life out there?" You ask, your body still tense as Natasha looks at you with an open mouth. "Because.."
Five..
Four..
"Because.."
Three..
Two..
"Fuck." Natasha doesn't finish her thought as she grabs you and holds you close to her chest, turning you so that your body isn't the closest one to the blast.
One.
The explosion shakes the ground as the two of you get tossed through the air, your body hitting the metal door with a thud. The ground shakes above you as the base comes apart, Steve pulling the metal curtain open and dragging the two of you out into the snow.
Natasha is coughing fiercely as the smoke and dust enters her lungs, gripping onto you for dear life as she feels Steve dragging the two of you out. Your blood stains the snow as Natasha sits up, heart dropping to her stomach as she sees your head loll back limply.
"Shit, Y/n!" She says as she taps on your cheek, blood running down her temple as she checks for signs of life. Your heartbeat is slow and your breathing is labored but you're alive, that final hit allowing the chip to fully break in half on the back of your neck. "It's because I love you, you idiot." Natasha whispers as she gently kisses your temple, Steves's jaw setting as he sees the little interaction.
------
The next time you wake up, you're in a sterile white room, your heart rate spiking as you think you're back in the Hydra lab again. Trying to push yourself up, your hands get stopped by restrains, the same straps tying down your legs. Swallowing thickly, you look around the room, the atmosphere making you feel vulnerable as you try and undo the restraints. A door opens to the right of you and panic seeps into your bones, thinking that it's a doctor coming in to run experiments on you again.
"Hey, it's okay." Natasha's soft voice reaches your ears as she comes over and undoes the restraints, gently freeing your legs and wrists before looking up at you. "I'm sorry, Bruce put them on for precaution." She says with a soft smile, taking a knee beside your bed so she's at eye level with you. You don't say anything as you move to hug her, your head immediately finding residence in the crook of your neck as you take a shaky breath. Your body aches and you're pretty sure you look like shit but you're so fucking happy that Natasha's here.
"Nat." You whisper softly as Natasha's arms quickly wrap around you, being careful to not hurt you as she closes her eyes. "I'm here, moy golub', I'm here." She whispers and you almost break down at that nickname, your arms tightening around her. "You're safe Y/n, you're free." She whispers and your mind can't even process her words, your only thoughts being how nice it feels to be wrapped up in Tasha's arms again.
When you pull away, there are tears in your eyes, Natasha gently wiping them away and kissing your cheeks.
"YA lyublyu tebya."
I love you.
The words slip from your lips before you could even process it, your eyes widening as you see the unreadable look on Natasha's face. "N-Nat, I'm so sorry, I didn't-" Natasha cuts you off with a kiss, gently pressing her lips to hers as she grins.
"ya tozhe tebya lyublyu."
I love you too.
---
"Should we do something about that?" Tony asks as the team looks through the one-way mirror they placed in your room, seeing Natasha climb into your bed and pull you into her chest. Your eyes close as you contently settle yourself into her, Natasha's hand rubbing circles along your back.
"Give them a break Tony, it's not like she's going or hurt anyone." Steve says as Bruce holds up the chip implant, "Yep, no more brainwashing for her." He says as the rest of them look at the two of you, never seeing Natasha this content until now.
