Garden Mint @10poundqueencrown - Tumblr Blog

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

universeleads

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

overwhelmedfernfrond

I explained the “x before gta6” meme to my immigrant father and he, in turn, explained to me how back in his day in Romania, they had the same type of joke, except instead of it being gta6, it was about the imminent death of a singer named Gică Petrescu, who everyone was continuously shocked by because he refused to die. Every time a momentous event happened people would say, in essence: “This happened and Gică Petrescu hasn’t even died yet?!?”

So. He understood the gta6 meme immediately because they apparently had the same thing in Romania when he was young, except way, way more morbid

strawberry-crocodile

Pokemon has never had a generation where all three starter pokemon are mammals. Two generations- gens 1 and 3- have had zero mammals, and from gens 5-8 there've been two mammals to pick from, but none have had three mammals. I think this is an important part of the franchise's brand.

strawberry-crocodile

Back when gen 8 got leaked someone pointed out that you can generally tell a real GameFreak Pokedex from a fakemon dex by the amount of "ugly" pokemon and the number of invertebrates and inanimate objects, and I think there's a similar thing going on here- Pokemon genuinely makes an effort to make its monsters varied.

The last 15ish years have seen so much ink spilled on the Vanillish line, on gen 1 designs, etc etc, but I think it bears repeating how easy it is for a Mons game to stick to charismatic animals like mammals and birds and dinosaurs and pets. And pokemon does have that (we have, what, six cat lines? more if you count regional meowths) but it also makes sure to add, like. A crinoid. A bagworm. A bell. Creepy humanoid mushrooms, a sand castle, a big iceberg.

Something would be lost if every single pokemon was as cool as Haxorus or as cute as Snom or as furrybait as Goodra. Pokemon succeeds because it lets you be best friends with shit that's just weird.

strawberry-crocodile

"ohhh op is telling on herself for calling goodra furrybait" idk maybe you're telling on yourself for how you have no furry friends. do better.

yuve2625

Skeb commission

sanguine-squid

look at my biology headcanons boy

sanguine-squid

sick-ada

hiroshotreplica-deactivated20250

gojinka

Happy Easter!

prokopetz

If ever you get tired of responding to questions about "rp-forward" games with verbosity and pedantry (which, to be clear, heaven forfend you do, I love reading those posts) may I humbly suggest the (in my opinion highly entertaining) alternative of telling people "Good Society will probably work for you" and refusing to elaborate?

You know for a fact that if I ever resorted to a bit like that it would be Chuubo's Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine.

prokopetz

#I am only vaguely familiar with the game #why would recommending Chuubo's be a bit in this case? (via @moltensludeinbrainattack)

The structure of the game manages to hit a remarkable number of features that folks who think "RP forward" actually means something and isn't just a marketing phrase would typically regard as categorically excluding a system from being "RP forward", while looking nothing like the kind of game you'd tend to picture based on those features.

You don't want the mechanics sticking their nose into every little thing? Chuubo's is so intensely preoccupied with mechanising the mundane that forming intentions to do things is a rules-mediated action. There are specific target numbers for stuff like "do it correctly", "look like you actually know what you're doing", and "be happy with the result", and without a relevant skill or resource expenditure, the best outcome you can ordinarily achieve is "make everything worse".

You want to do stuff because it "makes sense for your character", and not because it gives the most points? As far as Chuubo's is concerned, those are the same thing. Just living your everyday life is framed as a kind of quest, with milestones and XP triggers and whatnot; this is a game where you might actively look for excuses to "have a conversation in a poorly lit place" or "gaze contemplatively over a large body of water" because your personal quest line awards XP for doing that.

You want a game that will let you make up whatever character you want and doesn't expect you to faff about with "classes" and "levels" and such? Not only does Chuubo's effectively have both of those things, it's so strongly opinionated about what sorts of characters are appropriate that it recommends you use pregenerated characters until you get a good feel for the milieu. One of those pregens has a character sheet that's twenty pages long – and you might assume that means most of it is just a big tedious lore dump, but it's not.

And on top of all that, it's not combat focused (because it has no formal combat system) and doesn't ask in you to roll dice all the time (by dint of the technicality that it's a diceless system), so it can't readily be dismissed as "not RP forward" on any of the usual grounds. It's a slice of life game about adolescent gods attending high school. The kid who owns the titular Wish-Granting Engine can turn into a giant snake.

cerastes

Average Reimu Experience During An Incident

Reimu: "Uoooh the weather is so good to laze about and sip tea, I am confident today will be a fine, calm day."

Yukari: "Think again. You are the brown and white Shrine Maiden now, in case you didn't notice."

Reimu: "What in the world are you talking abo--

Reimu: "--oooh, yeah, huh? Actually, where did the color Red go?"

Yukari: "That's what you will be figuring out today, Reimu dearest. This is an Incident, the missing color Red. Remilia is having an existential crisis now that Sakuya started calling her Reimilia Beige. Reisen's kinda bummed out that she has Brown Eyes of Mild Irritation now. You yourself will only be known as the Brown And White Shrine Maiden of Paradise if we let this go on."

Reimu: "Which is. Not terrible? I actually kind of like this. But, sure, it does hurt my marketing in the Human Village. What's my gear gimmick this time?"

Yukari: "Take these glasses, they temporarily return Red to the world around you when you wear them, letting you see things as you normally would... But maybe they will obscure other things only visible while Red does not exist."

Reimu: "Sounds conveniently geared towards danmaku trickery! Well, do we have any leads?"

Yukari, with a smile so bright that it could make the sun burst green with envy: "Absolutely none."

Reimu: "Standard procedure, then! See you later."

*Reimu heroically picks a random direction, rolls up her detached sleeve, and starts beating the tar out of absolutely everyone in the way, including Brown Sekibanki who was the midboss for some reason*

Minor Youkai: "Hiiii! Whatcha doing around these parts?"

Reimu: "I'm trying to find out where Red went. Do you know anything?"

Minor Youkai: "Ah! You are on her trail, I see! I see a lot of people pass through here, given my ability is to detect movement flawlessly in a large radius and poison it conceptually so that my target's movement quite literally dies, so long as we have eye contact. I'm told... Not to let anyone go after her for today!"

Reimu: "I see. But I don't know who 'her' is, and that doesn't really help me, so,"

Minor Youkai: "Hah! You can't fool me! Wait, what those long and cruel needles for?"

*Reimu beats the absolute tar out of this youkai with a suspiciously insane ability by dragging her face across every single surface in a 40 meter radius*

Minor Youkai: "Owwww ok ok I don't know where Red is but I heard the lake west to the Human Village has some weird stuff going on!"

Reimu: "Good enough!"

Obscure Youkai: "Not so fast, Brown and White Shrine Maiden."

Reimu: "Not my name, but who are you?"

Obscure Youkai: "I heard from the people you've been ragdolling that you are looking for my mistress."

Reimu: "No, seriously, who the hell is your mistress, I have no idea--"

Obscure Youkai: "A deft attempt at subterfuge, Brown and White! But a futile one, as well! I will never give away my mistress' location! You know too much, and for her sake, you must DIE."

Reimu: "I don't know a damn thing, my girl, also not my name."

Obscure Youkai: "My ability is that I always know exactly how many steps there are on a staircase or a ladder! Now, have at you!"

Reimu: "Psh, that sounds silly."

*Reimu barely survives an outrageously difficult battle against the most nothingburger ability in the world with a well placed Yin Yang Orb Concussion*

Reimu with a purple brown eye: "Ok! Maybe not so silly! Holy hell."

Mastermind: "I should've known you'd figure out my ploy, Brown and White... Heh. Well played!"

Reimu: "Where. Did you come from. I have no idea who you are. And not my name."

Mastermind: "Hah...! Playing the bumbling fool until the end! Formidable! My name is Ishihara, As In, The Color Blindness Test!"

Reimu: "Hold up, are you the one that stole Red?"

Ishihara: "Indeed!" *the absolute hardest and most climatic track you've heard in your life starts playing* "And no one, not even the STINKY Brown and White Shrine Maiden of Paradise, can take it back!"

Reimu: "Not my name! And that changes things!"

*Ishihara launches an entire arsenal of spellcards with an optometrism and color blindness theme danmaku, like Deceit Sign "Green Blind Perdition - Deuteranopia"*

*But Reimu picks her up by the legs and slams her left and right like Bamm-Bamm in the Flintstones until she explodes and the screen goes white*

*Cut to Ishihara, Obscure Youkai, Reimu, and Komachi for some reason sipping tea at the Hakurei Shrine; the color Red is back if you 1cc'd*

Reimu: "So you are telling me you stole Red because of apples?"

Ishihara: "Indeed! I love the taste of red apples, but I like green apples more aesthetically, so I was wondering, huh, if I seal away the color red, then delicious red apples will look more like beautiful green apples!"

Reimu: "Right, that's pretty reasonable. But never do it again."

Ishihara: "Even though you wear a lot of red, you are pretty interesting, Shrine Maiden... Maybe I ought to pay a visit more often."

Reimu, knowing full well she has no say in this matter: "Don't."

Komachi: "I, too, am in this episode."

Aunn: "Aunn."

Marisa in her route: *Made at least one new girlfriend with the Stage 3 or 4 boss.*

Obscure Youkai, the Stage 5 boss: *doesn't become playable for years.*

Minor Youkai: *Outright kills Reimu in real life with an unreasonably difficult Stage 1 Lunatic spellcard on the next run.*

sleepdeprivedsurgeon

funniest thing to ever happen was when my boyfriend put on the first episode of columbo (which i'd never seen) but he wouldn't tell me what show it was he would only say "you'll get it when he shows up." but a fun fact about the first episode of columbo is that he doesn't show up for 32 minutes and when he does, he silently walks into the room with a cigar and does a little pose and goes "hi i'm columbo."

ponett

prokopetz

Horses exist in zoos, you're pretty sure. That's where they, more or less, belong. It's not like there's a stable next to the auto shop or something. Are there… wild horses? In… nature? Presumably, at some point, there must have been. Probably not, anymore. Oh, the race tracks, though. Duh. They probably have stables. Couldn't lose twenty thousand wen a day if there weren't losing horses to bet on. Horses don't belong at the gas station, but there's one here anyways. Its rider is wearing a leather jacket studded with old military medals; what looks like a torso-sized cogwheel, slung over her back like a shield; a broadsword, underneath the cog-shield; and a pair of holo-screen shades. She dismounts. She slides her card through the machine. The pumps start pumping. The horse sticks out its neck, dips its snout, and begins drinking gasoline directly from the nozzle. The rider holds the spout up to the horse's mouth, at a bit of an awkward angle. She meets your eyes, and shrugs. You know how it is. You don't know how it is. Later, you will see her on the news, clotheslining a police officer on horseback at seventy miles per hour. You will understand even less, and also, so much more.

— Emily Zhu, Ten Thousand Days For the Sword

ballgame

Direct...

ballgame

Deltarune... tomorrow? 🥹

not-the-conversation-starter

jynxedshapeshifter

I started laughing at this and ended up with a bloody nose

dogpuppy

creepycrag

Needlessly poetic in a way that draws your credibility into question. The whimsical typography also reduces the gravity of the statement. Please see the revised edition attached below.