everything that resonates with your higher self is not always reachable and sometimes left behind the noise of the everyday life. but isn't everyday life there our whole life? in this blog post i am going to touch on the importance of observing, forgiving and healing yourself.
of course, some people take notes of their behaviour, while others don't. they simply believe that "who they are" has nothing to do with their patterns and their impact on other people's lives. not everything is black and white, and obviously, your reality isn't everyone else's, but being in touch with yourself in the first place, in my value system, is of utmost importance. it says a lot about the person you are and how open minded your psyche is, cause the reality of things is we are changing and evolving as we grow older. therefore, how can you better something without studying it and its patterns, traumas and most importantly how it behaves on a daily basis.
in this line of thoughts, it's safe to say that every day life takes the best of you. and that can have both a negative, and a positive connotation behind it, depending on how you handle your personality. because it all comes down to you: if you either let the ordinary take or give your best.
how to start observing yourself
the good news is that none of these steps need to happen all at once. try one, sit with it, and add the next when you feel ready. it's a practice, not a performance.
morning reflection journal — spend five minutes each morning writing what you plan to do, and what your intentions are for the day and your behaviour
mindful pauses — take short breaks throughout the day to pay attention to your thoughts, body posture, and emotions.
habit tracker — use a simple chart or app to track small daily habits you're trying to build or change.
evaluate triggers and rewards — observe what triggers certain behaviours and what rewards or outcomes follow.
evening self-check — before bed, note three things you did well, and one thing you'd like to improve tomorrow.
gratitude or learning note — end the day with five things you're grateful for or a lesson you learned.
this may seem totally unrealistic to some people and i totally get it. my advice is — since i've gathered all these habits of tracking my behaviour gradually through time — try each step one at a time. try either the 1st, the 5th, or the 3rd, or whatever resonates with you first. it takes practice, but once you feel ready, even though sometimes we're never really ready, move into the next one. the most important thing: don't do all of them at once. it will be overwhelming and that's not the point.
practically, you can come up with your own template for daily journalling or habit tracking — and that is exactly the point. it doesn't need to look like mine. i’ve actually been working on something but you will be hearing about it soon, I hope.
then comes the forgiveness
the hardest part. i was wondering whether to include it in this post, but i feel like for me this is the most important step, because it is the one that kept me going. what i mean is: you may be motivated to do all of the above, then lose interest, then start again — and all because of the battle in your mind between fast and slow dopamine, the latter being derived from observing and fixing your mistakes.
in the end of the day you may ask for forgiveness from the universe, god, or whatever you choose to believe in — but before that, i feel like you have to forgive yourself.
i see it more as a practice that is about taking care of your inner child, which i have a separate blog post about that you can read here. meaning that you realise you do it all for that little version of you that still believes in you and your love for them. however, it is also the simple acceptance of one's actions and making peace with them, and trying to do your best afterwards.
let's say you haven't been as present, or have been spending too much time on your phone, and you want to change that. at the end of the day you feel bad about it. instead of feeling like that, try and see what that mindless habit had to replace — is it avoiding an uncomfortable thought? validate it. give yourself the space to realise that by blaming and hating on yourself, nothing good is going to come out of it. it was your ego playing for you, not your highest self. seek forgiveness from yourself and from the higher source. then comes peace, and the readiness to try and do.
and then — healing
for some people, that means therapy or working with a psychologist — something i’ve also done, but not extensively. at one point, especially around 2020, i found a different kind of support in simply observing my own thoughts and sitting with them. that shift alone created space for me to understand myself better.
that’s where shadow work comes in.
it’s the process of turning towards the parts of yourself that feel uncomfortable, hidden, or unfamiliar. it means asking yourself questions you’ve been avoiding and going into inner spaces you didn’t have the courage to explore before. you don’t need a perfect system to start — sometimes curiosity is enough.
journaling becomes one of the most accessible ways to do this. you let your thoughts flow freely — from your mind onto the page, without filtering or overthinking. whether the moment is intense or calm, something shifts once you write it down. there’s a sense of release and mental clarity that builds over time.
i don’t do it perfectly or every single day. but i keep a notebook where i write my intentions, my direction, and later reflect on how i showed up. that small structure helps me stay aware without feeling overwhelmed.
and somewhere in that process, something important happens. when you put your experiences into words — what happened, how you felt, how you reacted — you begin to see your reality more clearly. you start noticing patterns, gaps, and things you previously ignored. and naturally, one question follows:
is this reality actually working for me?
p.s. recently, i came across a bulgarian brand that creates leather notebooks with refillable inserts, and i honestly think it’s such a cool concept. instead of constantly switching notebooks, you keep the same one and just replace the inside, which makes the whole process feel more intentional and personal. and also you can add up to three different types of fillers in one journal.
they are called Note-it. And you can get them from here.
there’s something about having a physical object that stays with you over time, while everything inside it evolves with you. it makes journaling feel less like a task and more like a long-term relationship with yourself.
how to preserve your well-being by keeping your energy clear and protected — through awareness, intention, and simple rituals.
one of the lessons i recently had
was that no matter where you are or who you are with, the protection of your energy is one of the ways to preserve your overall well-being.
in this post, i’m going to tap into the topic of how you might unintentionally dilute your energy — and how to prevent that.
your energy and its clarity
is maybe what defines your most sincere version of your soul. at least that’s how i see it.
your energy is how you carry yourself when you are all alone and what you project onto life for yourself.
therefore, the goal of taking care of your energy is to take life into your own hands and explore the possibilities life has for you — possibilities you might not even know exist, because the structure of your belief system is shaped by your surroundings.
for me, life is all about navigating through it by learning — learning about yourself and about the world you create for yourself.
the world you create for yourself
i used the phrase “the world you create for yourself” because the idea of the world is different for each and every one of us.
for example, right now i’m writing this blog post on my way home in the tram on a rainy monday. for someone else, this ride home might be just the regular, while i’m here on my high-tide frequency, having thoughts about the beauty of life.
see — mine is over-romanticized, but way more fun. it’s like the meme with the two guys on the bus.
different projections and boundaries
my point is that each projection on life is different, and there’s always a moment of drawing mutual inspiration from our closest ones — which sometimes isn’t necessarily a good thing.
this moment, however, should have its healthy limits. boundaries are something you decide for yourself, when your intuition tells you so.
to connect with your intuition, you need to keep your energy clear, because your intuition is the vessel for the universe, god, or whatever higher power you recognize.
you can still have deep connections with people and know they’re vital to you — as long as both sides are aware they have their own interpretations of the world.
the morning practice
in the morning, after i meditate (if i’ve made time for it), i like to imagine my energy flowing through my body.
for me, it’s a flow of light that moves through the body and creates an aura or a shield. that image of a shield is crucial — once i associate protection with my energy, everything else aligns naturally.
a mantra or prayer before i step outside also helps. it could be something like:
“my energy is mine; it maintains a high frequency and is protected from any person, situation, place, or entity that holds bad intention.”
checking in throughout the day
throughout the day i check in with how i feel and where my energy is directed.
is it flowing toward something wholesome and meaningful, or toward something that doesn’t contribute to my growth or well-being?
(i’ll be writing a separate post soon about checking up on your energy through journaling.)
calling back your energy
whenever i feel provoked or energetically imbalanced, i like to
“call back all my energy that’s been taken away from different people, situations, places, and entities back to myself.”
that way i make sure i shift my focus to what’s valuable to me and avoid distractions.
i also repeat this before bed, adding:
“i give back all the energy and power that’s not mine to carry or does not belong to me, and i know that i am divinely protected and guided.”
the evening cleanse
another part of my evening energy cleanse happens in the shower — i imagine that all negative energy flows from the top of my head and is washed down the drain.
historically, in ancient greek religion, ritual cleansing with water (katharmos) was essential before any contact with the divine.
this wasn’t about hygiene — it was about removing miasma, a form of spiritual impurity or disruptive energy that could arise from sin, death, or contact with the impure.
water was not merely a physical cleanser but a medium believed to dissolve and neutralize spiritual imbalance, restoring harmony between the individual and the cosmic order.
final thoughts
these are the practices that work for me and keep me grounded in my well-being.
but i’m sure there’s more out there — so feel free to share your own rituals or reflections in my “ask” tab.
*a side note: recently, i had a conversation with a friend who shared a practical way to strengthen mantras or prayers — by connecting them to your main source of belief.
it may be god, jesus, allah, or simply the universe. it’s powerful to turn your affirmations into personal prayers directed to the source you resonate with most.
you can do that by adding “in the name of…” or speaking directly to them in your intention.
you are back in your hometown, you reminisce of the days you used to play on these streets as a child and smile. then u travel to another coastline to make nee memories.
late night talks, silk dress, martini breath and people who have nothing but love for each other. laughs, giggles and quiet music. yesterday’s flowers inhale the cigarette smoke, but they don’t mind. they like to listen.
or also mind hygiene is a habit that i feel like is perceived as something practised by only a few, time-consuming or too complicated. none of which should be the case. cause imo it’s an unique experience not only every single time you practice it but for every individual.
first and foremost i need to clarify that there is no right or wrong way to meditate, as long as you get to just be present or aware. in this post im going to go through the steps that i guide my mind to go through when i meditate.
i regard meditation as a habit because, in my opinion, it is like taking a shower, flowering the garden of your thoughts, or just a good way to start your day. it also strengthens your intuition and your connection with your spiritual guide/ higher self/ guardian angel or whatever you want to call it. which overall means that you could feel more connected and conscious if you allow yourself to. and it could take as much time as you want to, but even a meditation of 5 minutes a day, is enough. and if you think about it, you take more than 5 minutes scrolling on your phone for no reason… so you have really no excuse to exclude it from your list of habits, really other than it being out of your comfort zone.
step 1:breathing
you probably have heard about all the health benefits of breathing exercises, but apart from those, just two minutes of practicing conscious breathing can be beneficial for your mental health. so just the first step of the meditation practice that i follow can be enough if you think you don’t have time. what exactly conscious breathing is just paying attention to every breath you take in and out. the sensations of the air filling up your chest, your upper stomach or wherever you feel the air in your body. i like to imagine all the good new energy coming with every fresh breath and all old, negative one leaving it with each exhale. imagine how the new energy goes through all of your body and up to your toes.
step 2:focusing on the present moment
the next step of what i do when i meditate is fixating on the present moment. how i do that is imagining where exactly my body has contact with the surfaces beneath it. i try to feel the heaviness of my body and how its material surroundings affect it. things like sounds, wind, light just pass by me but they are noticed. this step is necessary because for me in order to look inwards i have to be able to be conscious enough of the outside world. and just when you do that. try to imagine yourself from a pov that is not yours. how are you sitting and what does it feel like to be in this space.
step 3:focusing on your physical sensations and emotions
look at this step as if you are doing a full body scan. notice any pains, tightness or stuck energy in your body and also pay attention to where you feel light or warm. just notice any sensations that resonate with your material body. ask yourself how you feel today? and where do you store that feeling? hold your attention on the part of your body that holds this energy and try to embrace it and let it go. as i have previously stated emotions are usually not ours they are a projection of our ego so with this step you are stepping away from your ego by making peace with whatever is going on inside your body.
step 4:cleansing your energy field/aura/your own air
then comes my favourite step. as we all know we are a source of energy. therefore there is a certain way that the non-material part of us or our higher version that is inhabiting this body is flowing. give it its recognition and imagine how it flows. if it helps look up on pinterest for energy flow pictures or see the one that i will add to the blogpost.
step 5:observing your thoughts
this step has been explained to me in many different ways. but it’s the one where you start to observe your mind and your thoughts from above. let your mind roam freely and just observe what comes up and let it go. e.g.: think of your thoughts as a notebook that you go through and each thought is a new page turned. or maybe you see your mind as a street and every thought passes like a car but your pov does not change. at first just letting go of control is enough. just observe and let go. with time you will be able to calm your mind that way and then get to the next step.
step 6:my favourite step.
it takes time as i have said before, but perceive it as something easy and achievable and it will be. the last page with nothing on it, the empty road with no cars - this is the part of your practice where you let go of any rational or irrational thoughts. it is like entering what many call “the void”. it is the most natural state of your highest truest version. it’s the place where you feel content, grateful, light and at home. it is where you are no more connected to the 3d world and there is nothing unusual about it. in this place your the frequency is not measured because it is just yours. many use their access to that state to visualise and manifest, but i feel like the best part about it is just to enjoy it and do nothing. feel the energies and the bliss and stay there. if something is to be-it will be.
step 7:back to reality.
in this final step i just go back by finishing with what i started but with a twist. with every breath i take i imagine all the good fresh new energy that i intake as rays of light entering my body, and i exhale all the useless dark low frequency energy that i may have stored subconsciously.
remember that this is just my own way of doing things and this is what is working for me and you may have a better way of meditating that meets your needs in a different way. also, i know there is a lot of posts about meditation, but i feel like when information is systematised it is consumed better.
p.s.i hope i helped or inspired someone to try meditating and also if remembering all this stuff is hard, try guided meditations on youtube or the headspace app.
in this post i will lead you through the steps that i have used before and that have served me best, but keep in mind that this is just a method and everyone has a different way of doing that like simply eating grapes under the table(WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE).
LETTING GO
write down all the people, situations and energies that do not define you anymore and you have the intuition of letting go in the past.
they could have helped you transform, but that doesn’t mean they should stick with you. it’s good to think about what they helped you learn about yourself and how they have let you grow.
in order for that to be translated into the physical world you can either burn the paper sheet, throw it somewhere, or just tear it to little pieces. it may seem a bit off and weird but making sure that you physically let go of everything written down on that paper could have an impact on your psyche and help you overcome everything that is drawing you back from being your best self.
thus you are entering the new year, having a clear space for what is to come. making sure you declutter your energy opens space for everything that is meant for you to experience. a good tip is embracing not knowing what is it to come and trying to see where you can work in order to make peace with what is in store for you.
REVISIT
1.HABITS
start with what you think is best for getting closer to that best version of yourself, whilst being realistic about what you can really give your time to in your day to day life.
2.PRINCIPLES
is your value system still serving you?, has your previous year tried to show you where it lacks or where it needs to be worked on? try to establish a connection with your truths without blaming yourself for your mistakes.
3.GOALS
this one is self-explanatory. there are multiple sources from where you can create vision boards or mood boards. but my advice is to make everything personal based on the previous bullet points try to assemble your goals list, without trying to stick some kind of aesthetic like “clean boy/girl”, “sigma male”, “dark femme” or etc. try to see what your personal beliefs about life show you…
SIDE NOTE:
in all those three bullet points i have revisited those four spheres of my life:
1.personal growth
2.health
3.relationships
4.career
NOTHING IS CERTAIN
of course you should have a clear mindset about where you are headed, but keep in mind that we are not always the ones who know what’s best is best for us. the divine sometimes has something different in store for us in order to help us grow and prepare us for the best. therefore, always remind yourself that what you are going through is the best, because it teaches you. embrace it and try to be present. all your goals can wait until you are ready.
you and your character are a product not only of what happened to you, but also of the first truest version of you that your conscience has a memory of - this being the inner child. by incorporating many practices and noticing that part of myself i have been feeling safer and more at peace than ever.
what could stem from not recognising your inner child?
many many “states of the psyche” like anxiety, fear of abandonment, overthinking and other products of the mind that are connected with the nonexistent future and past (as i have stated the only real time is the present for me). this could happen because of neglect of this inner child of yours and its needs.
what are its needs?
is a question that is personal, but it usually originates from childhood trauma or unspoken yearnings. let’s say you have always felt like you were never enough as a child, therefore you can’t expect to people to value your time and energy in the present. what your inner child needs is recognition and a simple “bravo! good job! ” that it never had - that way it wouldn’t speak through your present version.
how to get in touch with your inner child?
this is process that involves a lot of visualisation so there is no wrong or right way, but this is how i have visualised it for myself and works the best.
1.create the image of your most vulnerable inner child version - you can play with your imagination and exaggerate some of its features because later on you will have to heal it and they will have ti go. for example you can see yourself as this extremely weak and crying child or this fat and angry kid. the important thing is to note the characteristics that you don’t like about yourself
2.visualise this child in front of you and hear what it has to say - try to imagine what bothers it or what makes them the way they are , what does it need
3.accept this child as your own- the moment you love this child as unconditionally as possible and accept them for who they are , a connection will be made - a connection for a lifetime that you will have to revisit
4.hear it out and listen to what they have to say - that way you can be prepared for the last step
5.validate its needs and comfort it- simply by giving it what it needs. it may be a big hug a motivational speech or just presence
6.leave them be and make sure you realise that this is not you anymore and try to take care and of this version of you - so next time you come to visit it it is in a better state
other ways to validate your inner child but not give it the power to act through you are:
* buying your favourite childhood snack
* tell it to calm down whenever you see that you are acting through your past
* giving it compliments
* do what you used to love doing as a little kid
* skip through the park
* be cringe and yourself as often as possible
* seek good be prepared for bad with a smile
* be present
to sum up
your connection with your inner child is of utmost importance when it comes to healing. knowing that you’ve got your own back and all your wishes could be met from within, makes everything around you feel healthier. you are not projecting your subconscious needs and are available to act from your true self and not from ego, which is connected to your inner child and what it has been taught through the years. again the conclusion is to be present and observe yourself and that inner child of yours, while giving it love as if it’s your own child(which practically is)
being a bad bitch, or being a meanie i feel like is in the past. it’s washed, yk what i mean. if you think about it: being genuinely nice with no hidden agenda does take a lot of practice, but it becomes almost as easy as being mean and careless.
in my explanation of how things work. i feel like there is always good and bad and there is balance. the idea of good and bad is definitely subjective. however, i feel like all people are born good, it’s just that they let their lives define them. which i know sounds controversial and irrational, knowing how many people who have done bad things there are. but they thrive on being defined as “bad”, when in fact it’s just their traumas. their “ego minds” have taken over their lives and that’s their own journey. obviously there should be consequences for those people, but it is what it is and their actions are definitely self-explanatory.
when you realise that we are controlled by our ego and it feeds on using all your defensive mechanisms it just makes it easier to observe yourself. and everything starts by observing yourself. i feel like when i do that even if im being impulsive and react in a negative way i step back and i take a note, which is a big step. in that way you detach from your ego mind and start feeling better, because your frequency, “the air” around you, everything you do is so much more than that. therefore you attract likewise.
it does take a lot of practice to be vibrating at a higher frequency. and it does not happen in a straight line. obviously the next step after observing is taking action whenever it is needed, not being afraid to make mistakes. moulding one’s behaviour to the principles that define your highest self.
cause what do we get from being careless and thinking:” just because i know i am better than everyone, no one deserves my energy and time”? we probably do get a lot, but for me the whole way of achieving that would be so boring, that the achievement itself looses its value. i would change this paradigm for myself in that way : “ i know i am the best version of myself, in my own movie that i direct, but everyone is equal here “. cause really it is nice to have self-esteem and confidence. but we don’t like extremities on this blog. cause if you’re on a plane with someone you evaluate as “not as important” as you and the plane crashes. the same things go through our heads and we all die. you are not more in this situation(the situation representing the human species living on our planet collectively🤭).
i like to believe that mistakes and suffering should not be romanticised but regarded as something that is part of everyone’s journey and is beautiful. because we do learn from those two and we do grow from them. so what’s keeping you back from understanding people and realising that judging them for current or past mistakes would do nothing but take away from your time and energy? don’t you have more self-respect to value those two resources and watch out where you give them away? it is hard to be understanding and empathetic and i know that not everyone is wired that way, but not judging also makes your life and the one of people around you better.
however, i’m not saying that life should be all rainbows and flowers and we should perceive everyone as good. because people do bad things consciously or unconsciously, mostly under the pressure of their ego. in order to protect your energy from those people and situations all you can do is just set healthy boundaries. it is hard to balance being nice and protecting yourself. and i myself am still learning to do so. because you can’t be giving your good energy to entities and people that are just designed to take. your energy is endless - of course. but your time isn’t. it’s okay to see the good in people and sometimes to be naive, as long as you know your limits and don’t let yourself hurt.
another thing there is to note is that the line between being genuinely kind and unhealthily good to everyone is thin. you should be aware what deserves your time and effort…
here are a few steps that helped me to be kind to people and also maintain high frequency and healthy boundaries
1.establish your values and boundaries- make sure you observe yourself and your behaviour and try not to think from the perspective of the ego while doing that
2.forgive yourself and forgive others- now that you know that it all stems from ego-let go
3. always remind yourself that we are all connected- despite each and every one of us having our own unique paths
4. be forgiving, but not forgetting- you can always understand from what place someone has taken certain actions, but that doesn’t mean to let them stay in your life
5. be conscious with your behaviour- always keep track of your reactions. i do make mistakes myself sometimes but i hold myself accountable for them afterwards
chai latte with two pumps pumpkin spice syrup, rolled ciggarette, an imortel perfume, scrolling through pinterest, then journaling, while loving being alone is what this playlist sounds like.
trying so hard not to sound like everyone being all into wellness out of nowhere and pretentiously advocating healthy habits. but i feel like i’m going to get into that lane… a tad bit.
i have realised that i have built those habits for myself and unconsciously try and do them every day, but we are all human beings and let’s face it: not every day is what we expect it to be and that’s the beauty of it.
so here is my list of habits that could inspire sb to make time for themselves throughout their day to day life.
1.tumeric, black pepper, honey and lemon hot water. first thing you put into your stomach is actually pretty decisive for how it’s gonna work throughout the day. that’s where the acid from the lemon comes in hand and balances your ph or sth like that. tumeric is anti inflammatory and is a natural antioxidant.honey is just sweet and nice and really healthy.
2.stretching in the morning or having some kind of movement regime. i like to do push ups. also yoga, squats, jumping jacks whatever works as long as it makes u feel better.
3.cold showers.they boost circulation, reduce muscle soreness,strengthen the immune system by stimulating blood flow and it just wakes you up! which is in general good for ur mental health.
4.loots of water and consuming salt with it. the minerals(which is salt) are used by our body to help our body absorb the water better. i know we hear this a lot but i cannot tell u the difference hydration makes to how i function and how i feel!60% of your whole body is water.
5.meditate. and i'm not talking in a way of like 1 hour meditation, but however little or lots of time you have. try and do it. enough info on the web about how to do it. all starts with breathing. might do a lil blogpost about what works for me.
6.breathing excercises. taking 30 sudden deep breaths and 3 sets of 5 repetitions where you breath in for x amount of time, hold for 3x time and breathe out for 2x time. but look it up on youtube also to see more types of excercises.
7.reducing screen time. being present. being around nature. i am struggling sometimes with this one. but there are many ways in which u can reduce ur screen time: charging your phone in an unconventional spot in your room, turning off noftification, downloading "screenzen" and just realising that time is valuable and you kinda don't wanna spend it on your phone, while you can go to the nearest park and enjoy everything there is.
8.walking when you have the option to do so. just enjoy a walk, stare at trees, sky, buildings people. don't listen to music or do. just try to romanticise it and it could easily become a habit.
9.tea.hard to keep up with this habit espescially in the summer, but the difference on your overall health when you have at least one green tea a day, or whatever you like, is just there. tummy feels great, hence skin gets better. mentally it could also have some benefits, but you can look that up on pinterest in terms of what each tea brings to the table.
for the record : i do smoke cigarettes and have my green tea with them. but balance is everything.. dur.
i looooove being cringe. it’s the most freeing thing someone could do in nowadays culture. and i’m not talking about being annoying and desperate of attention kind of cringe but in a more being yourself and dgaf nuance.
what about being “cool”?
what about it? as i have said in my “about” post “cool” actually doesn’t exist imo. it’s just a projection of that we praise and we don’t think we have enough of in ourselves. it’s like glorifying someone. but for example what if you meet that someone you perceive as “cool” and they are actually bitchy; or what if they also have anxiety or are just shy in general. people are just people and just bc you think someone looks or acts in a manner that you don’t evaluate as “cool” doesn’t mean that they aren’t actually a good, nice and interesting human being.
someone who actually matches your vibe or your frequency is way more valuable than someone who has all the things that you think you need. therefore, being yourself is the best option you have and having the balls to be cringe is just great. that way you filtrate the people surrounding you. you just attract people that are here because of what you actually bring to the table not bc of some facade.
i’m not saying that acting cringe is always the way.
thus our society is built in a way that sometimes you have to put a facade. for example being professional, or being aware of people not reciprocating that kind of vibe is also a must, because in that scenario you just don’t give them that very open version of yourself. at the end of the day you should be protecting your energy and be mindful about where you invest it in.
nobody cares about you that much, actually.
everybody lives in their own reality so why bother to conform with everyone else’s in a way that is not beneficial for either parts. if you think about it, we are all directors of our own movies- meaning lives. therefore all the power you have is over yourself and how you perceive yourself, every other perception of you is none of your business. not to be extreme in that opinion, because of course reality check is needed and usually should be heard from those who love us. but generally speaking i feel like we should realise that no one cares so much about us as us. so i for myself like to act on my own terms whenever i feel like it’s appropriate.
think about all the things and experiences that you are stopping yourself from just because you think something is cringe…
just like this blog.
am i aware that this whole blog thing may come off as cringe? hell yeah. that’s what i’m betting on, so i can have the readers that actually enjoy it to stay.
am i gonna think that it’s silly in a couple of years? prly but i have time, i’m in my twenties and i will most definitely be laughing at my own thoughts on here in a couple of years. but who cares. that is the natural coarse of things. it would be kind of scary if we didn’t do things out of fear and then just wonder why did we not do them…
then why do i not allow myself to be cringe on instagram or other platforms? as i have explained, i do care about when i show my truest self and on this blog i’m doing it bc i think a few other people would care to read it. and tbh i see my instagram profile as a portfolio/business card. and i also love creating something aesthetically pleasing out of some ransom pictures. bc SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOT REAL LIFE and it’s just a place where you show your best version, so why would i care for another 1300 people, 80% of which i don’t know, to actually know who i am.
how to let go and be cringe?
to be completely honest i don’t think i’m the one to give you any kind of advice on being yourself because that is just your own thing. however,… i feel like these steps have worked for me:
1. get to know yourself by journaling, exploring and seeing what is your own way of doing things. e.g. think about what things you used to looove doing as a child
2. try to attune your surroundings by what feels good and peaceful for you. whoever and whatever causes anxiety or stress should be considered. obviously don’t take extreme decisions and always have conversations especially when other people are involved.
3.get out of your comfort zone so you can broaden it. new things always feel weird at first, but that doesn’t mean they are bad for you.
4.do little things that boost your confidence, but not your ego. smile to a random person or give them a compliment. read some affirmations on pinterest and all little nice things.
5.remind yourself that not everyone thinks about you the way you think they do.
anyways, BE WILLING TO BE CRINGE. it’s sm fun, cause nothing is really that serious.
a subject that i recently have been having conversations about with a few of my friends. so decided to put it on here bc what i have to say may or may not be of help to somebody.
what is validation?
validation is the affirmation of our own truth and the recognition that who and how we are is of worth. it is basically what makes us sure or unsure. depressed or happy. pick-me or shy. annoying or amusing. and many more. all depending on where we seek our validation from. don’t get me wrong, tho. all positive characteristics can also be derived from unhealthy validation source which if you think about it comes down to being one - that from the outside and not within.
external sources of validation
it is maybe what defines most of today’s world actions and situations that we adapt for ourselves in day to day basis. validation is supposed to make us feel relevant in this day and age. it’s also what drives us to develop bad relationship patterns and low self-esteem. those sound extreme but it is a fact. i don’t like extremities so i’m not a big fan of validation from the outside.
social media
ask yourself-why would we post pictures of ourselves if there were no likes or comments? at the end of the day we live in the era of being validated 24/7. liked or disliked. popular or not. travelling or not. successful or not. all posted just because we want to assert ourselves in order for people who we barely know give us attention… and that’s a small flaw of validation. think about changes that you have done to yourself in order to be validated or fit in. and if you do believe that people collectively live in their own realities why would you care to be judgemental towards anyone. we aren’t living by the same standards because we are not the same. our lives are different, our needs are different. and that’s perfectly fine.
significant other or friend group
i do remember the amount of times i went out of my own way to be liked or accepted by someone in my life, that i needed validation from because of behavioral patterns, and this has nothing to do with compromising for the ones you love. because those who love you will love you for the way you are in the beginning of any form of relationship. they will be inspired and interested even in the small aspects of your character, so you don't need to add or remove anything unless you are not inspired and motivated by them and see how you can grow as a person from those changes further on. if you otherwise think you have to change because of seeking validation and being liked by them, maybe they aren't the right people for you. there could be love and still no need to validate each other, but just simply accept that you are who you are.
academic or professional validation
of course we are talking about something way more logical in its core and validation here does play a role, but in my opinion it could be regarded as healthy in circumstances that it complies with your own personal beliefs and goals in life. however, sometimes our vision can be narrowed down and the potenitial of our abilities could be shadowed by the opinion of authority that does not neccessarily have our best interest. if someone or something wants you to grow they could give you hard time and everything, but they would not make you feel uninspired.
your ego
as i have mentioned in the post "NOW." we are not our ego. meeting this part of ourselves' standarts is sometimes impossible. i put "ego" as an external source of validation because in a sense ego is created from the outside and works inside of us. it makes us overthink and it could feel tiring complying with its validation.
the internal source of validation
this is simply your higher most present self. it is that part of you that has reached it's fullest pottential and would never judge you. this source of validation could be described as the feeling that you are doing something good for your soul; the feeling of making a decision that is with unknown results, but still feels right for you; it is that spark that no matter who and what comes against or along your way, you have the assurance that you are always gonna make it. validating your routine, decisions, appearance and whatever there is in th physical and non-physical world leads to the healthiest form of detachment, without of course leaning into extremities. being detached doesn't mean experiencing everything just for yourself, but being able to connect with the world without giving in to the ego.
when you create standarts for yourself and live by them you will start to feel more at peace. of course before that you should invest time to create your inner value system. (pinterest can be helpful here with its journal prompts)
validating your thoughts and decisions and even your manifestations can make you go through life in a confident way. you will see that when you believe that everything you do is enough and keep striving for more at the same time, you will not feel inadequacy, or if you do you will register it as a passing thought.
how to seek validation from the inside and not outside?
1.try to find out where your validation stems out of. - sit alone. no distractions. meditate and journal. see if you have been externally influenced throughout your life.
2.establish an inner value system and write it down.
3.practice self-affirmation.- pinterest and tumblr could be helpful once again if you look up for such affirmations
4.turn journaling and meditating into a habit.- change comes with supervision and when you keep track of yourself, progress does follow.
5.accept your flaws.- embracing this past version of yourself with its flaws as long as they are unharmful for your overall beeing could be the way of overcoming them.
6.set little goals and reward yourself in the physical world. - go on a date with yourself, buy yourself a present and try not to share this achievement with anyone.
7.catch yourself when you want to share something in order to be validated.- do you actually need it? is this really what you need in order for your goal to have purpose?
I feel like this should be my first post in terms of self-care, spirituality etc. bc I have recently all of those topics that I feel like tapping into on this blog are leading back to this one.
So basically recently I started reading this book that just feels like an affirmation for all of the things that i have learned through experiences and different ways of thinking that i have adopted. The book is called “The power of now” and is written by Eckhart Tolle. At first I thought it was one of those self-help books that is going to end up on my shelf. And the thing is it was even gifted so, I didn’t touch it for months. But I guess divine timing.
The main point is we don’t realise that there is no future or past - they are just projections aaand ik it sounds super nerdy and spiritual, but keep up w me. We are experiencing life only here and now and there is no other time. It’s our brains that produce the concepts of time that also are the sources like fear and anxiety or sadness. Because if you think about it anxiety and fear are connected with the future while sadness comes with reminiscing.
Our emotions therefore are derived from these patterns of our brains.
Am I saying that they are invalid? No they are going through us for a reason - they teach us so much.
Am I saying that one should not go through them? Absolutely NOT. I feel like holding something and not experiencing it to its fullest height (unless it’s harmful) is the healthiest way to go.
Am I saying that happiness and love are also illusions ? No! As long it’s coming from within but not from an outside source that is deciding of your state and are not connected to your brain patterns…
All I am saying is that they (emotions) are not supposed to affect your state in the sense of your highest state/higher self/best version of you(whatever you wanna call it).
Of course this is how we come to the BINGO of this lil post. Our higher self that is connected to God/Universe/Multiverse/Simulation boss(whatever you wanna call it) is actually a state. This state makes you feel whole and cannot be really described with words(obv bc they are production of our silly little minds).
What comes close to describing is that you are connected to something in yourself that makes you believe that everything is just as great and that nothing can really take away your power of you. It brings you peace.
Sooo this is where the current moment comes in handy. By focusing on now you actually connect with your energetic inner body and realise that it is actually not that deep.lol
Try practicing now by fully committing to what is happening now. What do u hear? How is your body feeling in each and every part of it. Does it feel heavier on the surface that you are sitting/standing on? idk
Just look at your surroundings and experience everything as if there is no tmrw… and at some point you kind of feel like your worries are not valid. Now think about what would happen if you start practicing now more and just using logic when you need it.
Am I saying that ppl should just become bimbos and himbos and be silly and mindless all the time? Maybe :p but kind of the opposite. Cause you are not dumbing yourself down. You kinda step it up by knowing how to be smartass and deciding when to use it and when to center your consciousness in what is really important - your life in the current moment.
p.s. I hope i didn’t bring more confusion, but I hope with future self-care related posts i will be able to tap into manifesting, negative thoughts and sm more topics that derive from this one
is going to be a place where i share all stuff self-care, wellness, art, architecture, today’s topics, culture-related content and yada yada yada.
basically it will be an online archive of me and my thoughts here and now. this is a space where people can recognise themselves or just scroll by and cringe. but at the end of the day i'm doing it for me and the people that could relate.
and who am i?
my name is Boris and i'm a junior architect in his 20's that also is really interested in growing and learning not only professionally, but soulwise. i also do art; love spending time with friends, family and food; excited about culture, design, art and life in general. a thing that inspires me everyday is that in life you can learn until you die and maybe that's the whole point of 111t.
why itblog(111tblog)?
the 111 is something that keeps following me ever since my first home address which included 111 as the number of the street that I lived on. so apart from all the angelic number bs, this number is like an anchor and keeps reminding me where i’m headed and that im on the right path.
the “it” part came as a reference to all the it-girls and it-boys and the definition behind their titles. usually an it-girl/boy is associated with the presence of the coolest young person that walks down the street and is known or unknown, yet important at the same time for no exact reason. however, there is no such thing as cool. cool people exist only in people’s heads and not in reality and it (the adj. “cool”) is a synthesis of our perspectives. therefore the it-girl/it-boy lacks definition. so here is my own definition of an it-girl/boy :
it-girl/it-boy is a young person that cares about expanding as a person and as a soul and has prioritised being the best version of themselves, whilst bettering themselves with the ups and downs that follow growth. they are usually confident, kind and perceived as delusional. :)
what made me do it?
the fact that there is so much information on tumblr and other platforms that could help you and turn social media into a helpful tool is amazing.
i’ve always loved helping friends with advice or book recommendations or make them believe that they are the best person on earth.
so i decided to combine those two factors and the idea of a personal idea archive, which i’m gonna probably cringe at, that i could go back to in years… and there goes 111tblog.
is it going to be goop, poosh or every other tumblr self-help blog?
inspired, but not really. the difference is that it comes from my perspective and i love reading content like that so i thought i could share my experience, give my references, and reflect on my terms.
is it going to be consistent?
not sure tbh. quality over quantity. whenever i feel like i need to post - a new post will be out. consumerism is tiring, and i’m trying to break the loop for myself.
anyways, this was the introduction to what is to come. and i can’t wait to share what i have to share even if it’s me and 2 other readers.🤭
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