[1300dshawty]

[1300dshawty]

this film was so sexy she’s imprinted in the forefront of my mind. i love when a film/viewing experience is so good it sends me down a rabbit hole of cinephileism

[1300dshawty]

thinking about it now, ariana grande went through so much from like 2017 to 2019 that was an insane series of events for a 23 year old to be going through. the pain and guilt of the concert. losing a long term lover. the constant scrutiny she was under. age is such a necessary ingredient in the pot of perspective because now i know that must have been insanely intense and completely life and mind altering. you’re a child at 23. not sure why im feeling so much for her right now but i am

[1300dshawty]

i’m getting excited for kano, it really is another adventure and another opportunity to learn more about myself. i feel like i’ve even been in one place for too long im getting quite excited at the opportunity to consider myself a nomad again.

[1300dshawty]

and exhale!

[1300dshawty]

this might be the best love song ever made

[1300dshawty]

[1300dshawty]

they really did not lie, those who don’t hear will overly feel

[1300dshawty]

life is just joy and pain in varying degrees

[1300dshawty]

[1300dshawty]

felt so incredibly beautiful last night

[1300dshawty]

baby boy

[1300dshawty]

desperately need to be used and abused. to the point of pain and near suffering please anything to shut my brain off.

[1300dshawty]

my princess

[1300dshawty]

saw obsession last night and that broke the trance i was slipping into at once! they right love will infact make you beyond crazy.

[1300dshawty]

maybe i also kinda miss my brother

[1300dshawty]

sometimes i feel like i don’t know how to be alone or in the quiet when that used to be my favorite thing. very interesting and slightly strange the way my body/mind is so prone to over correcting. 2 years ago i felt really lonely and i really felt the effects of a special kind of loneliness in my psyche that i had no idea i have been trying to over correct since my move back home. it feels like every now and again i realise something whether positive or negative about my time away.

i also, and have always known, that i do not enjoy the person i become when the loneliness starts to creep into my psyche; hence the subconscious over correcting. what is even gagging me is that the realisation has kind of taken me on a merry go round that has led me back to the very beginning. a special kind of loneliness. this one is more personal though, more innate. feels more like the company i’m craving is myself but i no longer am in contact with the version of myself that today’s tamyra is cooing for and that is both beautiful and incredibly sad.