the first thing Morgan did when she saw me was call me a baby back bitch, mom can you come pick me up??
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$LAYYYTER
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@171xo
the first thing Morgan did when she saw me was call me a baby back bitch, mom can you come pick me up??
hey tumblr maybe stop showing me ads about eczema? my skin is already whack
ah yes another day of Oliver yelling at me
been watching south park all day, if you’re wondering why I’m this way
you wanna hunt me for sport so bad it makes you look stupid
hi Oliver :)
I’m Jake and yes that is adult acne at almost 27, thanks for noticing. every day I regret cutting my hair, but at least I look like I can be within 50 yards of another person again. anyway, most of the time you can catch me playing bass in a band and being yelled at by our drummer, but if you’re in the DFW area lately you can come see me while eating mediocre fondue. you can also find me at paralyzingcell on gh, show me pictures of your pets so I know the friendship is real
trying to find an intro pic is hard when you look like actual dog shit with facial hair
*ominous bong bubbling from the dark at 2am*
i cant ever find her…..but she always seems to find me
Y'all wanna know the… Best feeling- maybe of all time- definitely of all time! The best feeling of all time… Is when, okay… You know the blant you smoked this morning- the one you woked up to roll..? that one okay and then, but you only smoked half of it okay? Then you work all day long, you go to fucking work, you do the fucking job real fucking good you’re like you’re the best, you do everything your boss ask of you, you- you’re really fucking couture with your coworkers, all the customers love you- all the custies come in and they just like- they think you’re the greatest. You’re the greatest of all time. You worked all day long.. And then..! You come home… And you smoke the other half of that blynt! That’s the greatest feeling ever- cause it’s just like, so.. It’s.. This is some old hash shid too,like, I’m a grown as woman I’m un adult. And this is my life! that’s- tha- that’s the break down of my everyday life for tall my fat… My fat fabulous life, oh’m bouta get so fucking high, so high that blent like.. Should I light it on camera? SHOULD SHE LIGHT IT ON CAMERA!? Hail yeah she should light it on camera! Actually I can’t, because I gotta I’m- Ima use botha my hands- I’m using my hands to hold the phone, ok though. Oh my god that’s not- eha that’s not me I’m not that fat. Speaking of that, I need to fucking work out.. But the thing is… I feel like I walk so much like living here.. You know? Like, I just can’t I can’t- I don’t want to work out, I wanna like- oh shit- I wanna like get back active(?) like maybe like, nobody wanna be in a .. No one wanna do..no one wanna play with me, no one wanna play volleyball with me, no one wanna play fucking nerd shit with me, everybody just- everybody I know just wanna get fucked up. I need some better friends, I need people who… Wanna do shit, you know? Like I don’t wanna fucking get fucked up all the time, I think… … That’s a waste of your life like I wanna be active, I wanna snowboard or whateva, oh my g- I’m so high already you guys. That’s-this is the perks of life
reminder that i dont have a single art class but go down to the AP class 3x a day and either do nothing or use ¼ cup of paint to make these horrible orangutan paintings and i plan to make more
Straight men who always joke about hating their girlfriend are so fucking weird like imagine having a girlfriend and not treasuring and loving her every day smh grow up