my head is a jumble gym

personal sideblog for stupid shit and venting (nah just drunk bullshit tbh)

[benobikenobie]

tried writing soulmates and i misspelt it as soilmates. is that anything

[demon-nerd]

If you're between the ages of 21-35, how many prescription medications do you take in a day?

Just individual prescriptions, not counting how many times you take it per day

1

2

3-5

5-7

8+

None

I'm not in the age range

Results

Voting ended onFeb 15, 2024

[191-proof]

sometimes i spend time with my mom and it's chill but sometimes i spend times with my mom and it ends up being an hour long vent about drug addiction, motherhood, and how difficult her mom's death was for her. just to be clear this is not a complaint but it can be a but much to talk about when you think you're just gonna watch a fun scary movie together lol

[191-proof]

why am i apersob? why am i a person? why ami a person ? why am j asperson? wjy am i a perso,

[4x01]

really big fan of men in shows who have one extra special little guy and as soon as their buddy isn’t around they cry so hard they throw up

[4x01]

everyone who isnt this user shut the fuck up

[191-proof]

im a little drunk so please ignore me if i dont make sense but

ive been thinking about acting

mostly because two of my cousins have started taking acting classes and are seriously considering careers in acting

honestly they've been doing the classes for awhile and mostly i thought it was a fun thing. like taking guitar classes despite not wanting to actually play guitar professionally or start a band

but they both genuinely want to pursue acting as a career choice! which is cool and everything but it also made me think about what it really takes to be a good actor/actress

i love both of these cousins of mine but (and i feel bad admitting this) i dont feel like they'd be particularly good at acting?

i guess not for any really reason so much as ive known them all my life and i cant really picture them lying well. i know lying isn't the same as acting but it's still there, i think, and these are people i've seen lie and lie badly. like they can't even hide how much they dislike family gatherings (sad but we all have to! at least here. oops)

sooo i started wondering about doing acting classes myself, and how i think itd be fun even tho i dont think id be good at it

and why i wouldn't be good at it

the thing is. i dont think id necessarily be bad at the average kind of acting (what is average? idk) but id definitely have an issue with emotional acting

and okay yes that would just make me a bad actor

but i think the hardest part id struggle with isnt the actual acting so much as the shame/embarrassment of openly showing emotion. like. i can scream and cry and act 'crazy' when im alone and no one has to see me but if i know someone is looking at me i get so mortified i cant even think.

maybe this is an average thing for ppl idk. but since i was little ive always struggled with genuinely expressing my emotions to other people, not because i dont experience them but because it feels like its some kind of social taboo to let people know im not okay.

once again, drinking. i think it's rsd but its not like ive ever been diagnosed so :/

[191-proof]

got very high last night and don't remember going to bed 🙃 heres hoping i didnt do any weird shit and then immediately forget about it (like usual). yes this also counts as a prayer.

[191-proof]

i dunno if anyone else will get this but like. u got black out drunk last wednesday and remember next to nothing. then someone who was with u is like 'you did this' and you have no memory of that. but u can imagine it to the point where it almost IS a memory. is there a word for this or am i insane???

[191-proof]

nothing that i am is acknowledged by anyone i know

[191-proof]

me: knows full well that drinking too much makes me depressed and irritable

also me: "im fine i'll just have a couple beers!!"

*has more than a couple beers, becomes depressed and irritable*

me: O_O WHO COULD HAVE POSSIBLY SEEN THIS COMING

[191-proof]

worst nightmare ive ever had lmao: last night i dreamt i met someone and we got along well, but next time i saw her i went in for a hug and it was too soon! i made her uncomfortable by assuming we were closer than we are and trying to give her a friendly hug!! and then our shared friends talking about how awkward it was!!! it was way too real thats not something that happens in dreams thats some irl bullshit cmon brain be creative

[flower-and-thorn-deactivated202]

[memecucker]

dude posts a vid of himself dancing in a skirt to a song and suddenly people are lashing out against it and this is supposedly woke or something

[dingdongyouarewrong]

‘gender nonconforming people are more likely to be predators and we should strictly adhere to gender norms and distrust anyone who likes GNC people’ but make it woke

[loumandliker]

i’m going to lose my goddamned mind at twitter for AGAIN making hot takes about how ~men~ on tiktok wearing skirts or fem clothing are just doing it to prey on girls with SUCH confidence in the ideas that 1. the people making the tiktoks ARE cis men and 2. if the people ARE cis men they’re straight and 3. men dress fem to prey on women as if that isn’t an ancient transmisogynistic talking point

[loumandliker]

and then they’re slapping on “cishet men are celebrated for breaking gender norms while trans ppl are attacked” WHERE?? WHERE ARE THEY CELEBRATED? WHERE are these cishet men who are getting praise for dressing fem from people who ALSO attack trans people? people are accusing them of using fem aesthetics to prey on (cis) women and calling them slurs for one! what fucking reality is this? and what is the basis you have for instantly clocking anyone you perceive to be amab in fem clothing as a cis man? as if amab nb people don’t exist? as if fem trans men and transmasc enbies don’t exist? as if gnc trans women don’t exist????

[loumandliker]

it’s all “nonbinary people can look like anything!” until you see a person with Masculine Features, short hair, and facial hair wearing feminine clothes and then suddenly anyone that doesn’t solidly stick to the gender norms of a single gender is actually just the gender you think they look the most like except they’re also transphobic and appropriating transness..... By Being What You Perceive To Be GNC

[191-proof]

i Hate my Unfortunate Boness

[191-proof]

i'm gonna go on a liquid diet but the liquids will be like. coffee and alcohol only

[191-proof]

anyone else ever feel life biting off their own fingers like a hate-filled parrot