welcome to my shitty blog ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ here's a shitty masterlist
ivy, 18, and i fucking love pineapple and leon kennedy.
do NOT interact with me if you're under 18 regarding my smut writing. i am 18 and i do not condone young minors interacting with authors about literal pornrotica and i am establishing this for your safety, so im separating my fluff and smut list.
i forgot to mention this but ig u can try talking to me through the ask thing???????? idk how ths works sorry bleh
requests r welcome :3
but do note that i rarely write sub!leon aqnd can mostly only write sub afab reader bc im a loser
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if you write "dead dove" (inc*st, r*pe, gr**ming, necrophilia and anything of the sorts) you are welcome to get trashed on on my blog
i loved hearing abt ur perspective on that matter 😭😭😭 not good with words but one thing i will say is most dead dove fics i see are from fandoms who preach abt problematic characters, its so rare to actually find any of them, like, this is just an example but everyone knows how famous hp is and ive read probably hundreds of fics (from ao3, which is kinda surprising since EVERYTHING is there, right?) and ive only ever come across one dead dove fic, which, again, i was startled bc i didnt even know what it meant so i think with warnings or none, it wont stop anyone from reading it. i guess i cant say anything abt how sa victims say its their own way to cope and it might be wrong to say this but i just think if a bad thing happened to me, why would i glorify it? and why would i ever want to influence people and make them think its normal and that they should want it too? its honestly just sad, especially, like u mentioned, when they say "a fictional character has no feelings" but theyre making leon an object of their sick fantasies, it sucks when all we get from them is "just block", followed by getting mocked, its just sad to see bc i feel like, how fucked up do you have to be to treat others like that? sure, maybe they have mental illnesses, but its like, theyre using it to justify their wrongdoings instead of actually trying to get better
anw... i dont know u much and i havent kept up with ur fics and stuff but i got to say i have a lot of respect for u and am looking forward to more of your works! or if not, i wanna say i admire u as a person 🫡
tw: mentions of dead dove, PTSD, mental stress disorders, trauma regarding SA.
i understand! and thank you but you really don't have to praise me for saying this <3
i won't go on a whole ramble trying to deeply psychoanalyze these kinds of writers but to (attempt) to sum it up shortly: PTSD, and a lot of other kinds of stress disorders tend to corrupt you throughout your growth; it forces you into a kind of regression and when you're unable to get help for multiple kinds of reasons, you tend to turn to the internet because well, it's just a click away. when you feel like your only strength is your writing you will tend to "weaponize" it (but not really per se), then the result becomes... that.
it's i guess, what people commonly testify it as, "trying to regain control". which i don't doubt for one moment, i genuinely do think that people who write this kind of "fiction" are victims who desire a taste of control again. they wanna be able to twist their perceptions and perceive their trauma differently because they've been enslaved by it mentally. perspective matters here: what an expressed fantasy is to the viewer, may actually be a vent from the writer. [i cannot stress this enough. but if you're going to publicize this kind of stuff, you are still bound to public morality. so please stop ignoring the fact that dead dove content that pampers the concept of sexual assault is genuinely harmful. no one should ever write that in a way that perceives sexual assault as "desirable" and "a want".]
otherwise, any kind of writer who glorifies and makes market-focused art out of sexual assault are sick and they know who they are, they just don't want to take accountability for it. i always think there's a better choice to be made.
BROOO u were literally probably the first author whose fic i read when i first searched up leon smuts last year 😭 ur works r so good n idk if u'll see this but it's nice to hear abt ur perspective, i feel like fics abt leon these days r so fucked up and scary, it reminds me of when i first read a fic of yours and it was nothing but normal and hot? i just mean it's like, what fanfiction should be, how smuts should be, just p in v and stuff without all that crazy shit, it sucks to see writers these days waste their talent on writing dead dove fics that are so horrendous that it really affected me mentally
helloo!! (im not dead mueheaheah)
WARNING : Mentions of dead dove content and the likes of its themes!
before i talk : [HIIIIII HEHAHEH thank you for your support!! i'm glad you liked my (very subpar) work! now that i look back on it those themes did enter a somewhat gray line at some point because i lacked a lot of experience in writing. i do not condone ever letting your professor have sex with you nor do i promote any kind of hate-motivated sex, or dubcon! it was merely a bold attempt of expressing hormones (if you know 😭) like a lot of people my age commonly do and so i had (and still have to) reedit the tropes in my work a bit, also because i turned 18 now and i wanna readjust my boundaries! i hope you dont mind. regardless, i love that you like those themes. very good! love you!! /p]
anyway, leaning more towards the topic at hand. i don't doubt that your opinion is much different than a large part of the community under this tag. which is a very, very good thing! i'm pretty sure it was ever since @/gilfhub's posts started to quickly rise in the top pages that lead a lot of users to be influenced and begin to tear down a very, very important boundary. i'm very sorry to hear that being exposed to that affected you mentally, that's the entire reason why i absolutely abhor blogs that post and enable that content. you're not alone on that either <3
and i agree! people should ALWAYS write boundaries in mind.
i've lurked around the tag a lot and noticed a lot of "popular" writers who also have an alternative blog for dark content (this isn't just a specific account, there are a lot of these.)
warnings don't make things better, they don't fend witnesses away, and it doesn't make you any less insensitive. "dead dove content" itself (which is really just incestual/horribly taboo sexual assault fantasies, no need to sanitize it) should always be suppressed and private (or, well, NOT WRITTEN AT ALL). the moment you put it up on any kind of digital page, you are attracting ANY kind of viewer and none of that shit is cute, i'm sorry. projecting your trauma onto a character is one thing but writing them as someone who skips the morality line is just straight up trying to exercise your power through the wrong means. just as much as you have the power to express yourself, you also have the power to make someone very uncomfortable.
people don't think about these situations in the long run, that's why. they seem to really like using the "leon is just a character, i promise he won't care" argument which i also think is total bullshit cause this isn't even about leon, it just entirely reflects what your true values really are. they centralize around the need to express yourself at the expense of other people's comfort (because, for the nth time, it's a public space with an unpredictable demographic yet people seem to really like just doing the "bare minimum" on their part). whilst your perception of a traumatic experience may be valid, it doesn't give you any excuse. this is far from the idea of free individualistic expression, it is just as bad as some 4channer posting about wanting similar situations be inflicted onto them with even real, sentient people. because we all know why these themes allow themselves to be exposed to the audience and that's because it tries to appeal to a very specific group of people (which is very disgusting.)
they want to be so condescending, too. like "oh grow up, i'm all under ur skin and for what." it's blatant ignorance, you're not very smart!
and finally as ironic as it is, porn is to blame for enabling a lot of similar themes. it's so obvious, too, a lot of fictions like the ones you mentioned that are dead dove always have to mention pornography titles in it. (honestly doesn't have to be dead dove either). sanitization can be done in MANY ways, and a lot of the times I notice it's through the way of romanticizing or aestheticizing it. I'm talking about those who put up mini pinterest-board headers of like three whatevercore images and then putting lyrics at the bottom of it. it's like an attempt at writing a very bad fucking movie not gonna lie. for example, they end up trying to decorate their post with elements that fall under anything curated aesthetic. and guess what? we've all been there but NOT for writing about uncle!character and their kid reader thats just flat out WEIRD. trust me you are NOT anais nin, you do not have to write lyrical prose and try to beautify something that will always be ugly and demented to its very core. you cannot call dead dove content "artistic vents", either.
i also think i can understand that some people are victims who have failed to get help thus they try to cope through other means. but i will never applause someone for making the right choices. i think there's no excuse behind writing dead dove content other than to self mutilate your mental health in the long run for a temporary moment of "safe fun", and not even knowing that it is also in/directly harming the public eye.
it's rotten. it's disgusting. dead dove writers should not be welcomed in any fictional writing space. i've been triggered over and over again and it made me put off writing and reading for a very long time. i've experienced something similar before and i have gone crazy over it, and trust me, the things these people write so "generously" for their viewers are NOTHING but toxic waste.
tumblr is NOT your space, but everyone has a space in tumblr, so be conscious of yours.
i also encourage people to not stay silent on the matters if they want to speak up on it but are afraid of getting backlash. i've seen people delete their accounts over it (which, i guess is good on them since then they won't have to confront this kind of space anymore).
Hello, Sorry for the bad English. I am astounded at the lack of empathy this app has towards fanfiction which have many dark themes. Why are children writing fanfiction about r*pe and abuse and eating disorders? It disgusts me as it is practically grooming themself into thinking such fiction is acceptable.One account who I will not mention for their own sake is 19 and has a series that is three parts of only rape and abuse and it makes me sad that she the owner is writing this so young! It also offends Leon’s character because why would he do this to someone? Why is content such as this being widely posted it should not it is illegal and should be.
i agree, and as much as i understand that some dark themes or 'kinks' are written about as a coping mechanism to try to regain control in a situation, i simply think that incestual, necrophilic, nonconsensual, and other disturbing themes of erotica should NEVER have a space in public media. it is blatantly horrible fiction and does not promote or condone anything good. i dont like the 'just dont read it' argument either, this is a public space and as a participant of that space you are still obligated to post with responsibility. im not saying this out of my inability to empathize, either (because I can. And I've also been around tumblr for a long ass time.) I hope people can understand that things can fuck you up to the point of trying to recreate it again to take control for once but it should also be known that putting it up on a platform where thousands can see is harmful, especially knowing that young adolescents linger around here and can be susceptible to influence. i see that the disturbing content these writers create could also possibly be a form of vent where maybe some readers may even feel comforted that someone is able to understand the same experience, but please, for the love of God, do not write about incest and grooming or r_pe like its just another day in the office. keep your shit private.
Hello, Sorry for the bad English. I am astounded at the lack of empathy this app has towards fanfiction which have many dark themes. Why are children writing fanfiction about r*pe and abuse and eating disorders? It disgusts me as it is practically grooming themself into thinking such fiction is acceptable.One account who I will not mention for their own sake is 19 and has a series that is three parts of only rape and abuse and it makes me sad that she the owner is writing this so young! It also offends Leon’s character because why would he do this to someone? Why is content such as this being widely posted it should not it is illegal and should be.
cw: dom! ooc leon kennedy x sub afab reader | no specific leon | he's kinda weird here idk | creampie | praise | mild degradation | wee bit of size kink idk
[to clarify, i am a minor (17). anyone <17 and anyone >17 uncomfortable with interacting pls dni}
a/n bc i love rambling : so uhmmm when i was writing this there was an electric explosion right outside of our house so the power's out in our neighborhood and im back in this damn cafe LMAOOO
a/n : (update lol)i wrote this like monthssss ago (wtf this sucks).. so im back nd im gonna post this bc why the fuck not it's still rllyyyy bad and a lot of word repeating but yeah just felt like posting lol
synopsis : actor!leon kennedy has been in the gig too long to deal with nepotistic, wide-eyed girls like you. yet much to his exasperation, you're just too much of a greenhorn in the showbiz world.
‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ -you can fucking skip this part idc- ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵
you've only ever heard his name maybe once or twice in one of the magazines in your mother's bar. you must've read it over and over again, having to see his name and face habitually to endure the excruciating hours of working behind the bar with your phone in a locker. you weren't particularly enthusiastic about films or Hollywood or WASP families, either. but it was better than nothing.
it started like this. you were wiping the cedarwood slab that dewed with beer, when the woman who sat across you (having drunk maybe 4 pints) reached over with her veiny, grisly hands. the acrylics tapped at your temples when she held your awkward face.
said "woman" was your aunt who just got back from monaco. and she's been urging you to work with Pierce. whoever that was.
you were well content with the life you had right now. but sometimes—often in front of your vanity— you did find yourself fantasizing about the 'big city'. you caught yourself in a cliche dream but the idea was invigorating, the mere machinations of those opportunities dangled above your eyes like meat on a stick.
"..oh, but.. i don't think it's practical, you know?" you excused as you dismissed the billowing thoughts in your head. even if you had the physical assets that aligned with the director's vision, it would still feel wrong. some people go to literal schools for this stuff, don't they?
but she remained persistent. and after a low, lighthearted sigh, she continued her persuasion. "..y/n, you're a diamond in the rough." your aunt neared you, holding your hands together in a friendly hold. "..let me make it a reality for you."
‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ -♡- ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵
so. were you a natural? hell no.
you're wearing a costume that you can't even touch without the stylists getting mad at you. you got harped on and poked at for so long you were starting to get a migraine. the studio refused to let up on you, jabbing at you passive aggressively until you curled like a millipede. honestly, you were more pissed than sad!
and leon? god, he was a total fucking hottie. and he was totally cold.
the director announced an hour break to everyone just before they'd jump straight to the next scene. you remained sat on one of the props, hands clasped on your lap, contemplating the choices you've made over for the 7th time today. you were fidgeting like you were anxious. you forgot how breaks felt. the luxury was there, five star hotels, velvet cushions and robes and office gossip and dinners with imported wine and cheese. but it felt like hell. working with leon was the only thing that made it even ten percent worth everything, but even he doesn't seem to like you. why was everyone so mean? fucking fair enough, you were beginning to hate this place so much you might ask for a cigarette yourself.
the petrichor mellowed through the film set, nibbling her skin with chill. nights in raccoon are cold, you needed to keep mind of that in case you decide to open your front door without a jacket. the alleyways were diffused by vapor lighting and LED signs. you also had another superficial thought. what do people on set usually do when they're on break?
you whip your head up, legs swinging slightly as you scanned the area. most of them are either adjusting equipment, going through script, or smoking one. you turned your head to your right without expecting much.
you saw leon leaning against the wall, next to the director, sharing smoke (you're beginning to see this is a trend) and cheap laughs. you were mildly surprised, not realizing they were both adjacent behind you, and you felt goosebumps rise when your eyes landed on leon. you quickly looked forward again. you didn't want to move away.
you missed leon's subtle smirk to himself when his gaze flicked to the crown of your hair. he took a puff of his stick, still sounding like he was talking to the man beside him. his eyes didn't leave you and the way you sat there like you were going to spend the remainder of your break spacing out.
leon's voice was nonchalant behind you. to you, it was faint chatter. "...life will chew you up and spit you back out before too long, but that's..."
...
was he talking to you?
leon wasn't too nice on you while you guys were on set, but he wasn't so directly mean either—emphasis on directly.
he's earned word of you from both your aunt and the director, obviously. he doesn't look like the type, but sometimes he has a knack for gossip. that's just how the nature of stardom works, doesn't it? name number #1 did this that tto name number #2, someone divorced someone, someone slept with someone—and the whole world goes aflame. he could care less about where you came from, why you're really here or who you were connected to. but something about you was thought-provoking. contrasting you, he worked for where he was. you just sat there looking pretty and snagged the role right away. maybe that sort of incompetency and oblivious audacity made you stand out from the rest. he found it pathetically attractive. you're an artless girl.
your head swiveled over your shoulder, looking behind and up at leon.
leon's eyes met your gaze halfway. "aww. is this your first big time acting gig, baby? no need to be nervous, it'll be alright." a tinge of mockery sweetened the husk of his voice. the director, who you now know is 'pierce', snickered at leon's subtle sarcasm.
the director tells him he's going to announce everyone to continue, since he wanted the rain to 'sex things up'. heaven's dew tapped lightly on the concrete as the director mounted his back off the vandalized walls, leaving you and leon alone in the same space. oh god.
for a minute you sat there quietly, letting the tension sink in upon the director leaving. you tentatively take another glance at leon. he wasn't looking at you anymore, and his hands were out his pockets as he swipes the little box open. soft brown tufts wisped when he shook his head to get the rain off his hair.
you got off the table. you walked to leon. you'd say your feet were moving on its own.
his head shifts to your direction. his bangs falling over his face. a gust of wind breezes by, and he smells deep, musky. like cardamom. cedarwood.
" if anyone's givin' you trouble on set..." leon looks down as he slips a cigarette in his mouth, rummaging in his pocket for his lighter. "you come to leon... 'kay?"
his hush voice was honeyed whiskey when it wooed at you, applying simple emphasis to his two-syllable name. leon, leon, how that name would sound in bed. there's a slight tease to his eyes, before diverting his attention to his cigarette, casting an orange glow in his palms when he flicks the lighter on with his thumb. his presence was prodding, inviting you with every inch of his body language. this man was blazing and you were a fucking moth.
he likes the way you're looking at him right now. your eyes are batting at every subtle sculpt of him. you can look away but he knows you're still thinking about him.
such a sweet thing, this one.
he decides to be 'friendlier', pitying the fact that you're obviously having a hard time socializing with the crew. "what's your favorite movie, doll?"
"mm.. i liked kill bill. and pulp fiction." you converse casually.
a name rolls off his tongue. "quentin tarantino." he nodded in what seemed like approval, watching a puddle.
you blink. "what?"
he glances at you and he doesn't reply, before leaving that wall all to yourself.
...
leon's tongue trickles with the taste of vouvray. you were art in the shadows, the honey lighting of the dimmed lamp doing nothing to illuminate leon's hotel room. your lips are glossed with his saliva, evidence of your breath went after he made out with you.
you're barely holding it, all while his big hands purchased at your flesh, drinking in the way you straddled his boner. the subtle friction where you were able to feel how big he really is intimidated you, blooming excited butterflies, your stomach fluttering at each soft push of your hips. you watched with your palms flat on his stomach, the soaked fabric of your panties collecting and staining all over his boxers as you stifled a needy whimper. "y'need it now, baby? oh, don't go soft on me now... i'll take care of you, just tell me."
his pretty baby, sitting on him and too shy to plead from the big shot. leon's hands languidly travel your skin, palms massaging up your sides. "...i-i wan' it.. i want you.. please.." you murmured hazily, leaning down to give him a soft kiss to compensate for the bashfulness that rode over your speech.
"is that right, sweetheart?" he bit his lip gently at the teasing sight, loving the way you sounded needier by the minute. "oh, baby, go on. it's all yours, yeah?.." he crooned, patting your thigh gently.
"easy, baby.. oh, there you go.. atta girl.." he groans prettily when he's muttering you through it, eyes delectably gazing at the way you sink on his length. it was cute to him seeing you not knowing what to do with your hands. but he watches you settle them on his built torso, and he could only look at you in adoration. god, he was so fucking thick and you were so highly strung..
leon's touch stroke at your knees. you aren't moving, and he looks almost amused seeing you try to render just how he feels inside you. "i can't.." he heard you murmur before you giggled quietly, to which made him chuckle as well. but the flustered laughter dies down. the actor groans, feeling your fluttering grip around his cock, making it his instinct to hold onto your waist.
it didn't take long before you started getting loud. your arousal lathered up and everytime you pump down a creamy squelch. "mhmmm... uhh, keep going.." leon whispers, and his eyes stared at where your bodies met. you could hear a soft whimper from him—vocally begging your sweet little self to go faster.
leon watches you trying to change the speed. poor girl, you looked like you were already starting to ragdoll. you resisted stopping, unable to with the way he'd rub into the right spots. leon took your small, depleted whine as a sign for him to initiate. he was just letting you have your fun. just until you'd get a bit frustrated. by this time he'd already lit another cigarette and the stick perches between his lips.
"..tiring, ain't it, sweetheart?" leon coos, feigning pity for you, fingers clutched at your hips like its his favorite thing to hold. he started to thrust up into your sopping little cunt, pulling a weak mewl out of you. there might be nothing he loves more than watching your supple frame as it bounces atop him.
"mmm.. aww 's okay, baby.. leon's got you.. mhm, that's right." he responds to every quaint sob you make. his stamina was stubborn as he gradually shifted his pace.
"nice and quiet, baby... don't want th't fucker 'pierce hearin' you..." leon almost feels like a sick fuck, pretty lips grinning slightly as he moans. "god, fuuuuck... mmmhh... uh- f-fuck!" leon almost whines before giving you a harsh thrust, as if he were desperately trying to make you his cocksleeve. if you were going to take it so well then you shouldn't be surprised at how he's gonna force you down, and keep you in place while he sluts you out.
you're murmuring something, and the words fall like blabber to his ears.
leon smiles endearingly, as if he isn't fucking you stupid right now. "mhhh.. wanna cum? you wanna cum?" leon asks as he tries to make sense of what you're saying.
and you gulp, gasping through your watering voice. "w-wanna cumm.. give it t'me-"
he tries not to laugh.
"c'mon, let me make you cum... i'll make it feel good.." leon murmurs before you could feel him pound into you, a whine dripping like syrup from your voice. your body barely keeps up. you feel tight and it's making leon's head tilt back a bit. "oh, there you go, sweetheart... atta girl.." he mumbles hazily as his mind starts to get messy.
"like that? uhuh? mmmh?~" leon moans back almost mockingly at each pleasured whine that spilled your voice. you're mindlessly pawing at whatever you can reach on leon, turning him on with your helplessness. "takin' me nice and well-..." he growls as he starts to piston up into your cunt brutally. you look cuter when you're stuffed with leon's thickness, when you're crying on what you begged for.
"leon, c-cumming" you lolled out in a low moan, head leaning slightly. "i'm gonna cum.."
he responds with a groan, hips rocking upward as he feels you clenching around him. "go on, baby, give it to me. 'm right here,"
he has you shuddering when you cum, the vibrating sensation jolting to your brain as it reeled in pleasure. it takes a few shallow thrusts to keep you satisfied but it's hard to tell when you're already sniffling and twitching on top of him. you wipe your face as you draw a few breaths. leon reaches to warmly take your wrist, thumb pressing onto your skin, feeling your heartbeat.
he watches you gather your bearings before generously caressing your hair once. you help yourself off leon's shaft and a heavy-sounding breathe escapes him in wonder.
leon whispers something once he leans into you and chucks his half-dead cigarette into the ashtray. "c'mere.." his one arm tucked around your back and eventually the other to your leg as he makes you lie down. he treats you with some sort of delicacy, at least until he doesn't.
leon tugs you closer with his arm hooked loosely under your knee, pulling your princess body in for a few intimate kisses to calm the both of you. he tastes mildly bitter. you hummed in his mouth when your lips lock together, eyes fluttering while you felt weak. leon starts muttering as he asks if anything hurts, if you're okay, if you're gonna stay here for the night. for a moment he doesn't say anything and he's just gazing down at you languorously while he breathes. he kisses one of your eyelids before he shifts.
maybe leon liked you better like this, on your fours, limping against the satin bedding as you cried and panted in a way that seemed like suffocation. his thick fingers tug at your hair once, your only teary view being the couch and the TV that dimly mirrored a reflection of you being held down be leon as he rammed into your dribbling hole tenderly. your legs occasionally kicking up against him, hitting him with your ankles as you found it hard to not writhe. he watches you peek over your shoulder, the expression in your eyes instigating struggle. "what?" leon tugs at your hair again, fighting the toothy smile from his face as he fucked you brainless. "didn't think i could make a whore out of you?"
leon lets go of your hair to rut into you with urgency. the bed was starting to jut out small squeaks from leon's rhythm. he leans closer, chewing on his lip as his eyes narrowed in pleasure. a soft growl emanates from behind you, skin on skin, breathing near your ear. the rough hands that were once planted near yours on the mattress start to grip your forearms like handles. he watches your back contort.
you jolt up as leon yielded you to his body, impaling you with his girth in a routinely fashion, urging you to cry louder. "oh, baby.." he whimpers lowly as he starts to feel himself lose control again.
"fuck, i can't.." you wail out, head hanging low briefly. he notices.
"ready to pass out, honey?" he pants softly.
you weakly shook your head.
"good girl." leon bit his bottom lip, whispering out a needy 'fuck' as he slammed into you while pulling you back. he felt satisfied by the way you yelped. his brows furrow, expression tainted with a lustful and crude color as he almost began to drool. brown strands started to get in the way of his vision. his breath is suddenly hitched, water lining his eyes as his voice turned up a note. he hisses, head tilting to the side. "fuck, fuck,-" his gruff words start to match with his thrusts. "take it- all-, yes, baby, that's a good- fucking- mnnnghh..."
it takes leon a while to recover, moaning lowly and riding his orgasm, watching you spasm beneath him while he spills inside you without much restraint. he tiredly fucks his load in you before he gives out and huffs a spent whine. he catches a glimpse of it. you're leaking white.
you're breathless, fatigued, sweating, and almost thoughtless as you catch some oxygen back in your lungs. you could feel yourself pulsating around his twitching shaft as waves of pleasure traveled your burning body. his arms loosen of their sensual hold before they catch you, pulling your weary form down to spoon with you momentarily. you can feel each other inhaling. exhaling.
a phone rang. it wasn't yours, you could tell by the ringtone. your eyes flit to see pierce's name on a default iphone screen. "i need a drink." leon exhales roughly, leaning over to kiss the shell of your ear before he reached for the bedside table to grab for his phone. he slipped out of the sheets with his phone on his ear.
i literally cant stop thjnking abt joji ever since i got tickets to his concert so ... can i request an angst that's based on his song glimpse of us :') leon and reader are dating and all leon can think of is ada ( OR VICE VERSA IDEK )
okay flexing on me i see u anon.......... /stares condescendingly/ jk
and sure let me just put the song on repeat until i start convulsing and oh wow an actual title that is only mildly shitty? go me.
also, i received this request like probably over a month ago im sooo sorry about that TT
cw; angst, depressed re4remake!leon x gn!reader. shitty toxic relationship, super fucking short bc im uncreative.
blind glances
synopsis :
deep down, leon aches for his ex-girlfriend. you're the gauze of a heart that does not bleed for you. you're looking at him but his affection does not rouse at the sound of your name.
it's eating at him. he'll never escape the realization that even a lifetime of getting used to you won't ever amount to having a brief glimpse of ada wong.
‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵
if guilt is a penalty then leon is a man for the guillotine. he wakes up beside you, warm skin on just skin when he reaches over to gently kiss you on the forehead for a love-empty greeting. does he like doing it?
no.
leon has a blurry count of how long it has been since he last felt the high of love.
he will never deny it. leon is a fool for tying tight strings for a woman that kissed him with lies but you just don't know anything. you don't know the raw care that lingers on ada's face, her stoic tendencies, her slender shoulders that carry the burden of a past he'll never know of. he's a fucking idiot for keeping scores with a bossy woman and finding love in her during a citywide bloodshed.
but because of the wrong of it all, shit, he felt the most human in the fucking world. leon deserving a healthy relationship after the incident in raccoon? bullshit, he doesn't deserve that; not when he's just going to end up hurting you with his pain. it won't ever change the fact that a part of him shudders at the sheer thought of ada.
and the naive look on your face will always remind him where it hurts.
during the first few weeks of trying to rehabilitate from a forsaken and true love, leon has already told you his issues and tendencies. you came with the guess that "it's most likely the trauma, leon.. you know i'm here. and let's hope ada is okay." and he nods quietly, kissing your cheek in mechanical reflex.
so you've had this discussion with him before—you were so open, so warm. but leon does not let himself relax around you. you're both a manifestation of his culpability and a cognitive drug to him— it drives him insane sometimes he cries at night and he doesn't even tell you why, just nuzzling into your skin and staining it wet with the depression that seeps in his nerves.
leon's never the smoker but you're a cigarette to him—he needs you when he feels like you're all he's got and he needs you to disconnect from a world that won't give him his ada back, even if it's just for a little while.
you wanted to be so mature but no, you're just a fucking human being as well. you desperately wanted to help leon but what if this is it? what if this is all you might be?
so, you both try to reconcile.
he's blind to the eager light in your eyes when you ramble about your day. he's smiling and playing with his straw while your words go from one ear out the other; because when he locks eyes with you he doesn't see you. he only sees a reflection of himself using you to his mending. and it's anything but your fault.
he somehow still has the audacity to feel some sort of affection towards you; but who will ever tell him he's just guilty and sympathetic? or, no. he just thinks that way.
is it possible? god, is it possible to care for someone you don't love? perhaps, but was that the care you needed?
you needed leon to care for you.
you wished ada was just here to whisk him away and maybe you wouldn't find yourself here. you know it, deep in your stomach. but you are bittersweet, you love to fucking convince yourself leon loves you. he loves you, doesn't he?
he felt like dying that night he saw your face drop when he opened his wallet to pay. he still had a picture of ada in his wallet. why was he so blind? why was he so careless?
...
"...i think i left the faucet open."
you utter begrudgingly after you stood up, calculating your share quickly and dumping it on the table with a rush. he stares at the table with horror gorging at his heart, watching his 'love' walk away from him with tear-blurring eyes. the faucet doesn't stop running when you reach the car. leon knew this, your heart was just too big for your own good.
you felt like a fool; you're the one trying to prove that leon loves you. how stupid does that fucking sound?
so later that night he's at home, inebriated out of his fucking mental while he's hunched over the sink. slightly sunken eyes stare back at him blurrily.
leon tries to rinse the guilt off his face but when he sees himself it's hard to even look—he doesn't know himself anymore, he's just the husk of a man that has his love taken away from him and stuffed in an abyss that stares back. and you don't have to guess which 'love' he's thinking of.
love. the word is so simply ridiculous, isn't it? one minute it's warm and gentle but it feels like a whole war when you try to conquer it. love always wins, it wins over him when he tries his fucking best to just be a better boyfriend for you.
it's like that one quote from that one book. "love is the only rational act."
what leon feels for you is right. he cares for you enough not to bring your hopes up anymore. he should just leave, but he doesn't want to abandon you. but what good is leon if he stays? if there was a god up there, leon pleas, tell me what to do to make it hurt less for them.
temptation is non-existent. his heart belonged to ada. ada ada ada. he's sorry but he can only think of her. even the name sounds right to him. it's a poisonous solace, the way his sombers connect with ada's.
he sleeps before you. you both stopped having the innocent intimacy before bed and now it's just restless individuals sharing the same comforters, desperately finding a warmth in the cold room you both soak in. it's so cold. you reach over to hold him. leon feels so cold.
it gnaws at your heart when you're constantly visualizing a scenario of him choosing whether to save you or ada if it ever came down to it. and you know who he would pick.
"..." leon turns over.
"bad dream?" he whispers but his voice is empty of projected care. but he still cares. he still fucking cares. but why should he?
you answer anyway.
"yeah."
you answer anyway because you still want to be wrapped in his safety. you find yourself pressed to his heart, the back of his hand on your head. soak in the comfort all you want,
i just know that Leon is the type that would fuck you against the mattress holding his shirt up between his teeth
HII mid-writing when i saw this n yeah :3 and tbh he also does it when he's frustratedd
do u want a snippet? ^^ (this is fem reader maybe i should write a m reader one)
[to clarify, i am a minor (17). anyone <17 and anyone >17 uncomfortable with interacting pls dni]
fuck. leon cursed in his head mid-thrust. he was blabbering and slurring his words behind you, and his mind geared with the venereal urge to just fuck you messy. leon's cheeks flushed warmly while you took his cock on all-fours, the man between your legs just inches away from just frantically rutting into your cunt. my, you deserved a reward for handling such a desperate boy ♡
you were plush against his mattress, fingers finding refuge in gripping the comforters so you can still feel yourself intact, at least.
it took one emphatic thrust to go through with his urges, just unable to resist your little hole as it milked him. "o-ohh, fuck-... mmm please..." he whimpered weakly, feeling himself shudder at the mere thought of going harder on you. call him greedy but his shirt becomes a hindrance into seeing more of you, as if you're not full on naked right now. but he's too into it to take the modest 4 seconds out of his time to take his shirt off.
outside of his own senses, he finds the black fabric of his shirt between his teeth before his hands traced to find hold on your waist, his right hand holding your hips still.
he arches you further downward into his bed. the flesh between the gaps of his fingers spill while his grip tightens. his hips snap harder, and his angle changes. it has you crying out. it has him blathering in muffled, frustrated whines because he hits it all good inside you, the spots that make your squelching cunny clench deliciously around him. leon is unable to talk, and lets the both of you feel good because he'll do anything for a sweet baby like you.
"hhh..ngghhh.." leon growls softly, cold breathes dissolving into the lust-laden air. he wants to call your name so bad, call you his good little thing and tell you how much he needs to cum inside you— but he's so annoyed with the fabric lodged between his teeth that he just has to fuck you harder.
a/n : hi guys smut production is slow because OH MY GOD IM GETTING MY ASS BEAT BY SCHOOL WITH A WOODEN SPOON AND A LADLE but dont worry guys!! but i dont like getting hopes up either bc im super slow and im just too much of a chad to be horny 24/7 yk
BUT GUYS I SWEAR I HAVE SOME DRAFTS DONE IM JUST SO BUSYYYYYYYGRRRRRR ARFARFARFAARFARF GUYS I HATE IT HERE
hiaiiaaiiaiaiaii anon MY NIGHT IS GOOD TYVM im trying to tend to requests rn but i need to get some schoolwork out of the way... and my pineapple went bad oops
hope u have/had a good night too grrrnjngsjdjdkskkd
uh.. im still not sure what you mean by it—whether i have my own kinks (which i will not be delving into for thats a very personal question) or if i can write certain kinks
i guess i should establish some boundaries huh (maintaining an account is so hard)
i am REALLY stupid when it comes to 'BDSM'
im not used to writing anything considered not-vanilla, but i try, and i might try if the request is smth i am comfortable with. and this isnt my first time writing smut (my works were horrible and they still are), but the last time i did for a certain fandom someone asked me to write PETPLAY and i was like ???? What the fuck is petplay and my friends suggested that reader drinks milk out of a bowl or smth like WTF HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WRITE THAT
i do not write anything noncon, zoophilic, gorey, anything super dark like necrophilia or some shit. i also don't like writing anything super ageplay DDLG/MMLB (coding the reader doing childlike activities like wearing diapers or drinking formula for example). and PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME TO WRITE PISS KINK STUFF IVE HAD ENOUGH 😭😭😭
the scope of kinks is just too big in general, like drowning ur partner is literally considered a kink. but anyway, the point is, i'll write it if i feel comfortable writing it or if i even have an ounce of confidence that i can execute that concept.
