Best Bros
Collin and Jace are roommates in their first year at BLANK University. Collin is openly gay and studies theatre while Jace is your stereotypical straight dude. He’s 6′4″ with curly brown hair and brown eyes- very, very dreamy. He loves to workout and play sports with his friends, can get any girl (or guy for that matter) he wants, and just overall exudes charisma and confidence. The semester is only about two weeks in, but the two guys have bonded quite well. All it took was a fart.
Collin was cooking something to eat in their shared kitchenette when Jace came home.
“Smells good. What are you cooking?”
“Just some rice and beans. Want some?”
“If you have some left after you’ve had all you want, sure!”
“I’m making plenty, so please help yourself.”
“Awesome, man, thanks!”
Jace sets his bag down and plops face down on the living room couch.
“You okay?” Collin says with a laugh.
“Yeah it’s just been a long morning.”
“Well, it’s Friday! You can chill out all you want.”
“That’s true. Hmm.”
“What?”
“I just remembered I was gonna play basketball with the boys tonight, but I honestly don’t really want to.”
“Girl’s night!”
Jace laughs. “Hell yeah, man!”
“The rice and beans are done for whenever you want it!”
“Bet.”
They both grab a bowl and fill it with food and sit down. The two talk, eat, and watch tv when Collin says,
“Ah shit!”
“What?”
“I spilt on my pants. Ugh and all my laundry is in the wash.
It’s not that big of a deal. We’re inside and it’s just us.”
“I guess. I just feel gross haha”
“Want a pair of shorts or something?”
“Sure, actually. Thank you!”
Jace smiles and goes into his room and comes back with a pair of black basketball shorts. He hands them to Collin in a ceremonial manner, with a bow.
Collin laughs and takes the shorts.
“Thanks bae.”
Jace smooches at Collin. “No problem buddy.”
Collin doesn’t usually wear athletic clothing like that, but it’s a chance for him to feel like one of his “bros”, so he takes his dirty pants off and slides the shorts on. Once they’re done eating, they put their bowls in the sink and go to the couch to watch more tv. Jace leans over to Collin and asks,
“Wait wait dude… do you hear that?”
“Hear what?”
PPPPBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT
A monstrous 8 second fart fires out of Jace’s basketball short cladded ass.
“Excuse me” he said with a grin.
“That was huge oh my God”
“Eh, it was alright.”
“I am afraid of you.”
“I’m harmless.” He gives a wink. “My brother on the other hand, his farts are fucking insane. He once sat on me and farted until I passed out.”
Collin laughs. “I can’t imagine you never fought back.”
“He’s a few years older than me so I never had the chance until I was like 16. But once I got strong enough to, you bet I pinned him down and gave him a taste of what he had been giving me my whole life. Also, sorry I didn’t warn you.”
“Warn me for what?”
BBBBBBBRRR
“That.”
Suddenly, Collin feels something in his stomach. He has never been much of a farter, but he felt one coming and wanted to bond with his new friend.
“That’s okay. Because I didn’t warn you about this.” BRRBRRRRTBBT.
“DUDE! I never thought I’d hear you fart.”
“I’m usually embarrassed by it so I only do it while I’m alone.”
“That was awesome though!”
“You’re too much.”
They go back to watching.
Collin feels something again. He turns to Jace and with a grin hikes his leg up.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. BRRRRPP
“Two in a row?”
BRP. “Three.”
Jace sees what’s happening. The friendly competition is about to begin.
Jace, without losing focus, leans with his ass towards Collin.
“Hey no aimin-”
PPPPPPRRRRBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRR
“Beat that. Wait wait wait-” BBBBBBBRBRBRBRBR BRBRBRBRBR RBBRBRBR BR
“And those.”
Collin tries to push. “Fuck, I don’t have any more.”
“Cool dude, I do.” GRGBBBBFFFBBBBBRRBRTRBTRBTRBTRpppppbbttBRAP
He then lets out an exaggerated sigh.
A few moments go by without any farts, and Collin thinks it’s his time to shine. Like Jace did before, he leans with his ass toward Jace. Without realizing though, Jace was doing the same. The two dudes let out an explosive fart at the exact same time.
BBBBBBRBRBRRBBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBR
BRBRBRBRBBBPPPPPPPPPPBBBBBBBRRRRRPPPPPPPPFFFFFGGBRBR
Collin’s fart lasted longer, but the guys were too amazed at the synchronicity of their gas to give it much attention.
“Dude!” Jace said as he and Collin high five.
“If only mine wasn’t longer and more powerful than yours, our souls would be like intertwined but with farts.”
“Okay showoff.” Jace says with a laugh and a punch to Collin’s arm.
“Why’d you wait so long to fart in front of me?”
“You waited to fart in front of me too, dude.”
“Well yeah because I’m self conscious. You fart loud and proud.”
“I didn’t want to gross you out before we became friends. “
They laugh.
But now that we are…
Jace turns his head to Collin and gives him a mischievous grin. He stands up in a squat and seemingly without any effort at all releases one of the biggest farts Collin has ever heard.
PPPPPPPPRRRRBRBRBRBRBBBBBBBBBAAAAABABABABPPPPERRRRRRGRBGRBGRBRGBRGBRGRBGRBGRBGRBGRBGRBRGBRGBRGBRGRBGRBRGBRG
“Holy fuck, dude. That even shocked me.”
“Yeah holy shit. Did you shit?”
“Psh. Nah bro, I’m all air.” He then swiftly pushes his ass towards Collin and lets out a cute little poot. Collin slaps Jace’s ass away and he laughs.
“Collin I have a favor to ask you.”
“What could it possibly be?”
Jace extends his pointer finger to Collin. “Pull this please.”
He does so and Jace releases another rancid fart.
“Is the contest still going on? You have a lot to catch up-”
BBUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP
Collin releases a huge, nasty sounding burp that ends in a cute grin.
“Oh we’re getting into another territory now. Watch this.”
Jace stands up and breathes in a big gulp of air. At the same time, he sucks in some more air through his ass, which is loud enough for Collin to hear.
“Wait, you can do this shit on command?”-
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAHBHBHBHBHBHBHBHBHBH
PPRRRRRBBBBBBTTBTBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBBBBBBBB
He lets out a massive burp and fart at the same time.
“You win.”
“I know. But it was fun getting you out of your shell.” He smiles and rustles Collin’s hair. “I’m gonna go take a nap.”
“Okay!”
Jace lets something else out, although it’s not gas.
“Hey, um, would you want to take one with me?”
“Sure! but why”
“I’m in the mood to cuddle.”
Collin stares at Jace. “Sure, why not. But can it be in my room? Yours is kind of hot.”
“Whatever you want.”
“Cool cool cool. Oh, and don’t dutch oven me or I’ll bite your dick off.”
“Oh don’t worry. I absolutely will be doing that.”
Collin rolls his eyes and Jace laughs. As they get to the bedroom door, Jace walks into the back of Collin, who immediately takes the moment to rip a nasty sounding fart on Jace’s crotch.
“Dude, I’m so sorry it just slipped out.” Collin says as he opens his door.
“Oh, it’s really on now.”
Jace goes into Collin’s room and closes the door behind him, interested to see what comes of his friendship.
