You know, this would explain why Picard, the most English person ever to walk aboard a starship, continues to claim he’s French.
The older this post gets and GB is still in the EU, the funnier it gets.
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
almost home

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Show & Tell

#extradirty
Sade Olutola
occasionally subtle
todays bird

Janaina Medeiros

@theartofmadeline
dirt enthusiast
Stranger Things
Three Goblin Art
Claire Keane
Not today Justin
RMH
hello vonnie
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

titsay
Mike Driver

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@1tinyhannah
You know, this would explain why Picard, the most English person ever to walk aboard a starship, continues to claim he’s French.
The older this post gets and GB is still in the EU, the funnier it gets.
sometimes i feel like only a cold still life that fell down here to lay beside you
when you’re reading that good motherfucking poetry
@stabrielle
If your girl has:
green-ish eyes
long silver hair
a beautiful smile
likes to wear black leather and high waisted cargo pants
and has big tiddies
I’m sorry, but that’s not your girl.
That’s Sephiroth.
“I’m so sorry, my son, I wish I could be the father that you deserve… from the moment you were born, I was foolish to abandon you, to seeking absolute power for what I believe that it would protect you, I was wrong. You growing up fought through many hardships alone with such a frail body. I realize that what keeps you fighting is the same power that our mother used to protect us, me and Dante… is the power of love.”
Thank you so much
@bettybattaglia
for this amazing commission that squeezed all of my tears ;;;A;;; , it was magical to work on it, and the only coffee commission I have after sooooo long time.
ARTIST FRIENDS ARE DANGEROUS
Halp 😂😂😂
My contribution to the FFVII Fandom
Bonus: How Sephiroth talks to small people
𝔗𝔬𝔰𝔰 𝔞 𝔠𝔬𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔬 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔯
𝔒𝔥, 𝔳𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔶 𝔬𝔣 𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔶,
𝔒𝔥, 𝔳𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔶 𝔬𝔣 𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔶, 𝔬𝔥𝔥𝔥
𝔗𝔬𝔰𝔰 𝔞 𝔠𝔬𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔬 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔯,
𝔒𝔥, 𝔳𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔶 𝔬𝔣 𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔶
uncensored version on Patreon: patreon.com/posts/34980913
@1tinyhannah
@itszyrielle canon.
*punches the wall* so how’s it going friends?
@stabrielle
my friend and i were arguing about soup
@1tinyhannah somehow I imagine this as an argument between Pels and Tredd…
Or Noct and Iggy
@septembre-rain omg. This.
What’s day to day life with Noct? Dialogue please!
Sup. [warning: ...mature language?]
—-
Noctis: [arguing with a councilman] why don’t you take the biig clown nose and shove it up my cunt like the clown from that porno I saw when I was seven.
Nyx: ...oh my fuck...?
S-seven?
Kid started younger than me.
[smack]
OW!
Cor: [twitches] What?
Regis: Clarus...
Regis, don’t you-
Regis: How did he get into your stash?
UGH!!!!
OOOH MY GOD!!!!!!
DAD YOU’RE A SICK FREAK!!
S-Son-!!
Noctis: [suddenly shouting] He’s not denying it! KICK HIM!!
[chaos]
—-
Noctis: [flirting with a random guest] Now how about you take that big no no thing between your legs and put it in my taco spot.
Everyone: ...
Random Crownsguard: [mildly disturbed]...what the fuck...?
—-
Cor: [breaks watermelon with thighs]
Audience: [silence]
“...”
Noctis: ...giggity.
Gladiolus: [immediately pissed] NOCT!
—-
Noctis: Is this what being ‘consumed by the horn dog’ mean?
Clarus: [twitches]
Noctis: If so, it is quite an experience.
—
Noctis: Why would anyone get used sex toys? If they did, that would mean that they would willingly put things with other people’s cunt juice and butt stuff inside them.
Everyone: ...
Noctis: ...
Everyone: ...
Noctis: “...[annoyed] What?”
Drautos: “I’m both shocked, and disturbed how you can say the word cunt freely but you censored the word ass.”
Noctis: [shrugging] Ass is a shit word.”
—
Random assassin: I shot you 6 times, HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!
Noctis: Bro, this is insomnia. We’re like raccoons trapped in a city.
Random assassin:
Noctis: Check for a pulse next time bud.
—
Noctis: The chu-pe-Kae-bro.
Gladiolus: The what?
Noctis: The goat fucker thing.
Gladiolus: Why did I even ask?
—-
Noctis: Why does everyone think the word Cock is a really sexy?
Gladiolus: [annoyed] Noct-
Noctis: I mean, everyone says it? So it’s not something that’s taboo.
Gladiolus: Noct, I don’t think-
Noctis: Porn writers should use other words, or be better writers-
Gladiolus: [screaming] NOCT WE’RE IN A GRADE SCHOOL!
[silence]
Noctis: ...is that why people don’t like asking about cock in public places?
Gladiolus: ARRGH- [chaos]
—
Noctis: Hey dad, the high school wants you to come for a conference tomorrow. I bit a little kid.
Regis: Sweet Bahamut where did you go wrong?
Noctis: I blame the education system.
Regis: [sighs]
Noctis: So can I stay home?
Regis: [without hesitation] No.
—
Just another day....
@1tinyhannah I’m sobbing. These are great!
@septembre-rain AAAAAAAAAAAAA 😂😂
Drunk Noctis being....just drunk Noctis.
(Scene): -Ballroom completely trashed after random watermelon magic bomb project caused by Drunk Noctis and Drunk Prompto backfired.-
Ignis: *arriving and shaking Noctis awake* Noct, are you alright?
Prompto: *stuck to the ceiling* I’m fine!
Ignis: *brief glance to the ceiling* that’s nice.
Noctis: ...
Ignis: *shakes more firmly* Noct, say something.
Noctis: *Clenches eyes shut.*
Ignis: Noct-
Noctis: *Pushes Ignis away and tries to drown in watermelon.* Leave me BE! I don’t to LIVE if I have to clean this mess!
Prompto: *still stuck to the ceiling* ...same!
———
Noctis: *drunk* I’m gonna kill everyone until there’s no one left in Lucis.
Regis: *deadpan* including yourself my son?
Noctis: *eyes narrowing* I’m the FIRST to go...
Regis: *raises eyebrow*
Noctis: *lowers voice* I’m had it too good for too long.
Regis: I feel like I should protest?
Cor/Clarus: *both look constipated* please protest.
——
Drunk and pissed Noctis: (completely drunk) IGNIS, time to inact our EVIL plot to upthrow my father and take Lucis by midnight!
Ignis: Yes Noct.
Noctis: it has to be by midnight or else the magic will wear off.
Ignis: of course.
Noctis:
Noctis: Good. (Passes out)
Prompto: *raises eyebrows* You’re agreeing to this?
Ignis: he won’t remember when he wakes.
Prompto: and if he does?
Ignis: *sensually strokes kitchen knife* Death...
Prompto: oh...
@1tinyhannah
@septembre-rain HALP 😂
@thwippersnapple you need to see this
THE BROS: If the Royal Tombs had been left in better condition, we’d have more weapons for the Armiger.
THAT 2,000 YEAR OLD FUCKER WITH HIS 117 WEAPONS ARSENAL: Yes…too bad…(kicks walls)…the old kings…(tears down a pillar)…didn’t know…(pours gasoline)…how to build things…(lights a match)…to last.
WHAT A PITY. “Natural” decay. Pff.
Now I can’t get the image of Ardyn, like, painting lewd graffiti all over some of the tombs.
And then the Chocobros finding it and just being like ????.
NOCTIS: I wish I knew what these inscriptions said…
IGNIS: (with a pained expression) This is actually a very clever pun…
NOCTIS: So, what does it mean?
IGNIS: (with a heavy sigh) It can mean either “Somnus is a dick” or Somnus likes dick".
NOCTIS: …
GLADIO: …
IGNIS: (under his breath) Learn Old Lucian they said. It’ll be fun, the said…
PROMPTO: Which symbol is “dick”–
NOCTIS/GLADIO: Prompto, NO.
Prompto, YES
@1tinyhannah
@septembre-rain
Prom: ...I have an idea for a new tattoo...
one of my absolute favorite things about fanfiction is the the way it just “i will take this shamelessly self-indulgent/ridiculous as absolute crack concept and i will treat it seriously.”
because my god it lets you explore those really insane contrived ideas, or the ones that 14 year old you would have sighed about but been embarrassed by, but in a way that really examines it all, lets it have depth and nuance, lets you turn it over at every angle to find the surprises and the touching moments and the painful parts and the ways it both is and isn’t silly or exactly what you want it to be.
it takes all those ideas and just lets them have dignity.
fanfiction will let you write or read about two dudes accidentally raising a baby while running their coffee shop which one of them uses as a front for their assassin side gig all while they slowly fall in love, or about a woman who is just like you and so many like you, even in the embarrassing, not-cute-quirky ways, who survives an apocalypse and has to do so at the side of the actor she loved so much but would never have looked twice at her before the end of the world.
and it lets you do all that while plumbing the emotional, moral, philosophical depths, and the ways the dream holds up and where it wrinkles, how you can let realism in, but not in a way that ruins the fantasy, instead only enhancing it.
mainstream literature and published genre fiction has been doing a lot of this kind of thing for straight, white, cis men for a long, long time now, and it has strongly boxed out everyone else and fostered a culture that ridiculed anyone else for wanting to have that for themselves.
but fanfiction lets us all have that, and it doesn’t ask us to present it with a wince, with a shy mumble; it never asks us to be embarrassed by what we love or what we want.
just take it seriously, fanfiction offers. because you deserve to.
A new section called:
Hannibal Lecter has a problem with boundaries
Otherwise said:
Boundaries will always be subject to negotiation.
Or:
The many times Hannibal would have wanted to hit on Will.
100% completed Nero DT 🤟🏻 I added glow in the dark in his demonic arms, so do you like how it turned out??
DMC Sparda’s Shenanigans # 12
Just another day in the Sparda household where Dante is messing with Vergil again and the one with the smart brain cell isn’t there to keep them in line
No, That’s it. There’s no other context
I REGRET NOTHING
@stabrielle