kids on the slope

leetaemin / thebaby sax & dance spirit jazz club

[247tae-blog1]

honey

— replied here 

[247tae-blog1]

baby blossoms: does your muse have a favorite scent? what is it, and why?

— replied here

[247tae-blog1]

“ you think i care about you? cute. ”

phrases that really hit you where it hurts — accepting

In his mind, Taemin replied right away. He could imagine himself flawlessly spitting back something along the lines of I don’t need you to care about me, you blood-sucker asshole. or maybe something more classy like go choke on a dick. 

But everything he said could and would be used against him, so he went back to focusing on the coffee machine instead, spitting a thin line of black coffee into the styrofoam cup for what seemed like an eternity. For a place this fancy, one would expect a more efficient coffee machine. 

“You re-re-re-... really must have nothing to do to come annoy me in the middle of work.” The cup was only 1/3 full. “And your cof-f-ff- your coffee machine sucks.”

[247tae-blog1]

colorful — accepting

honey: when your muse loves someone (whether it be romantic, platonic, or familial love), how do they show it?

” for starters, taemin’s not even sure he ever loved someone in the way people expect him to. he often feels a sense of isolation when he thinks about love, like observing the world from the other side: people falling in love, people connecting with others, people having best friends or traveling together. confiding in each other. growing old side by side, like his parents.

his parents. taemin obviously loves his parents, or rather: he cherishes them, feels gratitude towards them, wishes them happiness. he wishes to see his mother happy the most, wishes his father patience, wishes they love each other, like people do, until the very end. taemin visits them whenever he can, but instead of bringing gifts he tries to take things from the house and create a little space. 

ever since he can remember, taemin was okay with being lonely. it’s not something he chose, but even if it felt like a heavy wet blanket in the beginning, now it just feels like a flimsy see-through veil he doesn’t feel like walking through. people just feel things differently than the way he feels, people touch in a different way, or eat in a different way, speak in the way people should speak. 

taemin is different from one end to the other, he’s never sure how to approach or speak or express if not through music, through dance.

his heart beats faster when he listens to love songs, and maybe a part of him wishes he could live those lyrics in real life, instead of only in his head, but he doesn’t know how. ”

[247tae-blog1]

colorful — accepting 

baby blossoms: does your muse have a favorite scent? what is it, and why?

” taemin likes wooden scents the best because it reminds him of being surrounded by musical instruments - most of them wooden. the smell of his grandfather’s shop, handmaking flutes. the slippery floors of dance studios. he is not a very homey person, with candles, plants or matching pillows, to him his apartment is merely a place where he can put his things, sleep, live. when he lived with his family the place was impossible to navigate if you didn't know your way through the labyrinth of music records, books, musical instruments, boxes of old mementos and family pictures. his mother couldn’t get out of the house, so it slowly turned into a museum of everything they were or have been.  his apartment has a bit of that, a quiet, slightly messy display of taemin’s interests and the things he loves. doesn’t take a genius to see, is right on the nose with at least three old saxophones hanging on the wall and a keyboard where the coffee table should be. ”

[247tae-blog1]

colorful headcanons.

( send me a copic color for a headcanon )

frost blue: does your muse enjoy the snow and cold? or are they the type to enjoy summer more?

peacock blue: is your muse honest? what sorts of lies do they tell, if not?

lapis lazuli: does your muse prefer the idea of exploring the depths of the oceans, or the boundless expanses of space more?

reddish brass: how likely is your muse to step up and take the role of a leader? are they willing to take the challenge, or are they more apt to being a follower?

burnt umber: how stable is your muse, mentally and/or emotionally?

champagne: does your muse drink (alcohol)? are they a heavy drinker, if so?

tea orange: what is something that your muse is fascinated with?

malachite: has your muse ever done anything that they winded up feeling incredibly guilty for in the end?

olive: is your muse prone to feeling envious of others? if yes, what is it that they typically feel envious over?

vermillion: is your muse courageous, or would they consider themselves to be more of a coward?

coral: what is your muse's romantic and sexual orientations?

bougainvillaea: would your muse consider themselves as blunt, or do they beat around the bush instead?

currant: what's something that absolutely disgusts your muse (can be a person, place, thing, ect)?

crimson: how passionate is your muse about the things they love most?

raspberry: what food and/or drink can your muse not get enough of? do they indulge in it often, or is it something reserved for special occasions?

baby blossoms: does your muse have a favorite scent? what is it, and why?

mallow: what sorts of things might remind your muse of those close to them? any scents, objects, sounds?

aubergine: does your muse prefer the day, or are they more of a night-owl?

acacia: how much does it take for your muse to hate someone?

cadmium yellow: what subjects or topics does your muse avoid, because they bring up harmful / painful memories?

honey: when your muse loves someone (whether it be romantic, platonic, or familial love), how do they show it?

chartreuse: if you had to describe your muse with a color, what color would it be and why?

anise: when it comes to self-care, what does your muse do to take care of themselves? do they take care to spend time on it, or do they feel they don't deserve it?

new leaf: what message would your muse send to their past self, if any?

moss: how easily does your muse adapt to any new situations they're thrust into?

silk: does your muse care about appearances much? do they spend a lot of time on their own appearance, or do they just go with the flow each day?

sanguine: does your muse typically have an optimistic, pessimistic, or some middle ground outlook on life?

atoll: if your muse could go anywhere, without any restrictions whatsoever, where would they go? why would they go there?

cool grey: if your muse could ensure one thing for certain in their future to come, what would it be?

black: does your muse have a 'bucket list?' list some things your muse wants to accomplish before they die.

[kitaecat]

[247tae-blog1]

“ no, you ARE strong. ”

phrases that really hit you where it hurts — accepting

Taemin laughs in a mocking way, hugging his groceries closer to his body. Perhaps it seemed heavy because he was carrying a paper bag full of green tea and sparkling water bottles, plus three small plain yogurt cups. A Herculean task at hand indeed.  

At least it made the way up on the elevator more organic. Taemin was used to going through his chores and to-do lits with laser focus concentration, leaving little oxygen for things to survive in-between. He unconsciously shuts the world out, and by then his floor neighbors or actually neighbors only greet him with a nod instead of saying anything, because Taemin is hardly ever paying attention. 

It took an incident with mysterious underwear to break that ice, and now he seems to bump in Junhoe sshi from 203, just one door away, everywhere. One face he recognizes out of a bunch of blurry ones. “Don’t wo-worry.” Taemin adjusts his grip to make sure he won’t drop anything. “I only look th-th-in and weak, but this isn’t my final form.” 

[247tae-blog1]

This entire absurd wasn’t even poem-worthy but volume-worthy. If he was specialized at writing utter grotesque, that one situation alone would give him loads of material. Who knew, maybe it was a sign from above that it was high time for him to change things up a little, ditch his typical melancholy belles-lettres for the sake of aberrant graphomania. After seeing how many not too high-flown pieces can be found on the shelves in bookstores, jockstrap poetry could sell well… But he needed to stop dwelling on that, unless he wanted to maniacally laugh out loud in front of his neighbor.

It went better than he expected. Not like he was expecting anything at all before he knocked on the man’s door, but he feared it would quickly turn into an unbearable perplexity.

And not knowing why, the firmness of Taemin’s grip was weirdly allaying (intriguing, also). “It seems so… Always could’ve been worse, right?” Junhoe chuckled in a light manner, feeling the ease wash over him bit by bit. Because it could’ve been horrible. “Uhm– Could I thank you for this favor with a cup of tea? If you’re not busy, of course…”

The invitation seems to surprise Taemin more than a hot pink butt-less underwear if the way his eyebrows shoot up but his eyes squint like a myopic person without their glasses are anything to go by. 

It comes as a shock because he’s not usually invited to things outside the realm of work-related meetings, dancing workshops, and oka, the eventual after party following a night of playing at the jazz club that he politely refuses every time. Drinking at loud bars is a little too much for someone who’s not always comfortable speaking in public - if he was with his close friends it would be one thing, assuming he had any, but being surrounded by people he barely knew shouting and getting piss drunk never sounded like a good deal. 

“You mean, now?” He clarifies, just to be sure. It’s just tea, one part of his rational mind says, trying to force Taemin’s safety switches off in light of having some social interaction other than talking to his musical instruments. He’s sure he can’t mask the zip of nervousness tightening up his face. It’s just tea, Taemin reasons again with more parts of his brain joining the party this time.

His apartment was empty and quiet as usual. When he listens to music he uses his headphones. There was the drying rack with some towels in the middle of the living room, his couch occupied by music theory books, plastic containers filled with records and CDs, the lonely plastic plant on top of his counter to create the illusion he could take care of a plant, the small, untouched kitchen. Clean, and hardly ever used. 

A sad picture, depending on who sees it.

On second thought, he looks at Junhoe again, smiling. “Sure, why not. I’ll j-just grab my... My st-stuff.” Put some shoes on, keys, phone, and just fluff his hair a bit on the mirror. Taemin is very protective of his hair.  

[shineemoon]

[247tae-blog1]

- ; phrases that really hit you where it hurts

“ did you really have to be that honest? ” “ every time i see you i just feel more alone. ” “ you changed me. ” “ was this all just a joke to you? ” “ i don’t want to know. ” “ can we start over? ” “ you make me feel so insecure. ” “ i don’t know if i can love you. ” “ every time i wake up i’m reaching for you … but you’re never there. ” “ of course it meant something! ” “ stop yelling! ” “ i gave up on you a long time ago. ” “ you think i care about you? cute. ” “ did you just forget about me or something? ” “ i still need you. ” “ i wanna say that there’s still hope but sometimes things just don’t go your way. ” “ you said you would keep trying! ” “ no, you ARE strong. ” “ you promised me! ” “ fine. you’ll never see me again, okay? ” “ i gave you everything i had. ” “ your eyes can be so cruel … ” “ i can never do anything right can i !? ” “ i want my life back. ” “ stop crying. ” “ you should go. ” “ don’t come back. ” “ does hurting me make you feel good or something? ” “ just stop it. ” “ i was never in love with you now leave me alone! ”

[247hope-deactivated20190101]

[Dancing Feet]

[247tae-blog1]

He watched the sighed, chuckling as he shook his head.  Honestly, the man was so kind. He honestly felt bad about the other’s speech impairment; since he could sense how easy of a bully target he could have been growing up, but also found it incredible adorable.  He could see slightly improvements from the time they first met. However he kind of hopped it never went away.

He watched the man go over his words; knowing were its going but it was important to him that he didn’t interrupt and let the male flow through it. He grinned happily. “It is! And its all because of your hard work. Thank you for doing this…I know I say it every time but….It honestly, from my heart means so much to me”

It's nice to hear compliments on doing something he loves so much. Taemin never imagined himself being a teacher, passing knowledge. It was a pretty huge turn of events in his life, but now he can’t picture himself doing anything but. It is hard work, it is nerve-wracking, it is all the things dealing with kids, students, parents, schedules, recitals and what not would be, but he doesn’t regret it. Taemin and Hoseok seem to share this love for that place. 

Someone forgot a dinosaur sock in one of the lockers and Taemin smiled at it. It was probably Yoogeum, always forgetting his things behind. He will keep it in the lost and found box before leaving. 

“I should be the one thanking you, s-sunbae. I really love this job.”

[247jiyong]

— One More Time

[247tae-blog1]

Jiyong’s eyes kept drilling into Taemin, the mischief sewn into his grin magnifying more and more. He doesn’t want to overlook a single telling twitch, and it really doesn’t take a genius to know that sooner or later the other’s tongue will start stumbling over the letters like a limping stray dog. What’s even more satisfying is the thought that Taemin might be painfully aware of that as well. That should be fun.

Intertwining his fingers in anticipation, he rests his hands on his stomach. Too bad there isn’t a ticking clock adding to this perhaps bothersome white noise. The first verbal mischance of Taemin gets a prompt sneer from Jiyong. When it comes to amusing him, his old friend indeed does not disappoint.

“Su-sure,” he mocks him on autopilot, nourishing the triumphant smirk settled in his face. Heaving a sigh, Jiyong straightens up and inches towards the man to put his hand on his shoulder. “You’ve never changed. That’s good to know.”

Taemin would do anything not to give people like Jiyong the satisfaction. It shouldn’t be that big of a deal: when it comes to new people he meets, they don’t mind his stutter. When it comes to nice people, Taemin feels safe and unbothered. He grew out most of the annoyance and self-loathing not being able to get better and speak better - his life is pretty much normal. It shouldn’t be a big deal. 

The thing is, Jiyong is like a tractor digging a giant hole on hard soil, bringing out those old, buried feelings that used to crawl up Taemin’s spine in school, making him feel small and stupid. It feels like shit to go back to that place again with a simple word of someone you don't like.  

The kick in the balls is that Taemin has no one else to blame but himself, not because of his condition but because he accepted that job. He could be cleaning the bathroom down the convenience store two blocks from his place instead. He knew about the chances of running into Jiyong, and he said yes anyway. 

It’s not something he can control, as much as he wants to, mas humiliating as it feels. Sometimes, when he feels the stutter coming, he just cuts himself and shuts up. Staying quiet is his shield. He grabs the pen that has been resting near his notes, holding it tight in his hand, like an anchor, letting the amusement in Jiyong’s voice pierce through him in complete silence. He’s too on the edge to say anything, and he’s stutter even more: exactly what Jiyong wants. 

So he’s sitting between silent resignation and conscient humiliation. What a day. Taemin’s forehead falls on the palm of his hand, hiding from Jiyong as much as he can, trying to focus all his energy on not doing something stupid. He needs the money. His apartment, his rent, his bills, food, transportation, emergencies. He needs the money.  

But not like this. 

“Don’t you- don’t you have some t-track you should be plaaa-pla-giarizing now? I’m wor-wor-working.”

[baekhyuntella]

[247hope-deactivated20190101]

[Dancing Feet]

[247tae-blog1]

Smiling happily he wave over as the male approached him, whistling playfully. “It is indeed, but I like it like that. I hate it when it’s bare. makes me feel like I’m not working hard enough.” he sighed but shook his head with a chuckle. “Now i know why is so hetic now” He pointed over to the girls trying to sneak photos of their instructor.

Though it could be seen as a problem, Hoseok thought it was cute. He couldn’t blame them either. Hoseok would have never learned any of this with a sweaty Taemin around, or any attractive man. Lucky he learned stuff better alone, and then could teach others. 

“Kids are still kids, but they have approved so much since last time. You should be so proud”

It’s an easy-to-relate feeling. That studio was always full of life and music, people coming and going, having fun, recording videos. It’s an alien aura when closing time comes, the lights are off and the rehearsal rooms are empty, too quiet. 

Taemin hid his laugh under the towel around his neck for a second, but then he offered the older girls some light fanservice by pushing his hair back - somehow, that seemed to work all the time, even with sweaty hair and a sweaty instructor. Go figure.

“I def... Def-d-” — Fucking big words. — “Def... definitely am.” Counting steps and teaching the choreography with simple sounds it’s so easy, it comes so naturally to him. He wishes he could do everything in his life following a beat. As usual, Taemin smiles his stuttering off, still playing with his hair, fluffing it on the top of his head. “They improve with every class. It’s aaa-amazing to watch.”

[247jiyong]

— One More Time

[247tae-blog1]

No matter how tenaciously he tried, it was impossible to cut the cord permanently linking him with his past, and Cheongnam was a chunky part of it, despite the experience itself lasting only three years. Some would call high school the best part of their life and maybe after subtracting the not mention-worthy facets he could find himself in that lucky inner circle. He joyously let the memories fade, but certain events and faces burned an unerasable mark. However, Taemin’s existence was one of those he almost left go of. The boy cropped up here and there back in the day, Jiyong even bestowed him with some attention by proffering him a handful of derisive digs.

He almost forgot about him, but now it all comes back to him like a sweeping tidal wave. For a moment Jiyong thought he would soon get his daily dose of taunting he cannot do without, yet not hearing Taemin stumble over a single syllable does make him a tad disappointed. Has he finally met an efficient speech pathologist? Anyhow, details aside.

At the sight of him turning in the chair, to the mental image Jiyong’s mind adds a furry cat sitting on his lap. Now all that’s missing is The Godfather’s theme building up in the background, or The Lonely Shepherd. 

“Don’t be so callous.” Muffling a chuckle, he grabs a free rolling chair and plops down next to Taemin. “In that case… What brings you here?” Actually, he isn’t really expecting an answer — if you don’t know what the deal is, then the deal is money. He reckons it’s one of the reasons.

The coincidence that Taemin was also imagining a furry cat on his lap himself would maybe never be shared between them. And sadly enough, he knows he’s not seen as relevant enough to be the grand villain to Jiyong’s Bond side. So much for trying to stay under the radar. 

Taemin was biting the tip of his tongue inside his mouth because it’s only a matter of time before it betrays him and gives Jiyong the satisfaction. 

Since high school, Taemin grew a little more confident about his speech, figuring out that if he treats it as something normal and unbothered, people tend to do the same, but when it comes to people from his past that doesn’t always work. They have that image of Taemin already imprinted and it’s pointless to try and change certain things as they are. 

He looks at Jiyong like the answer isn’t obvious, but siles anyway. “Yu-your charming personality of co-urse.” He over-blinks when he talks, so it’s time to go back to looking straight ahead to the empty room on the other side of the glass. “G-gotta pay rent.” 

[lcveball]