2dayno

🌝🌝🌝

[pixelated-trashcan]

Sam: Hey, Sebastian, what are you looking for?

Sebastian: My will to live.

Sam:

Sebastian:

Sam:

Farmer: *enters the room*

Sebastian: Oh wait, there it is.

[awayinthevalley]

Farmer: ok, truth or dare?

Elliot: truth

Farmer: how many hours have you slept this week?

Elliot: .. dare

Farmer: go to bed

Elliot: I don’t like this game

[sebby-and-abby]

Abigail: Did you hear that? It sounded like despair.

Shane: It was probably me.

Abigail: No, no, not bitterness. Despair.

[sebby-and-abby]

Sebastian: You… have a face.

Farmer: Yes. Yes I do.

Sebastian: I mean… it’s nice. You have a very nice face.

Farmer: Thank-you?

Sebastian, blushing: Please accept my awkward attempts at flirting. I don’t know what I’m doing.

[awayinthevalley]

Shane: I accidentally stepped on Sam’s foot and couldn’t decide to say ‘I’m so sorry’ or ‘Are you fucking ok’

Shane: I panicked and yelled ‘ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY’ at him

Shane: he’s still crying in the bathroom

[txtposts]

hongjoong: [gets a paper cut] OW! Son of a bi-

seonghwa: Hongjoong! [gestures wildly to ‘99 line + Jongho] CHILDREN!

hongjoong: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiis-cuit....Son of a biscuit....that's it.

jongho: nice save

hongjoong: haha yeah, fuckin’ nailed it

seonghwa: Wh-? Hongjoong!!!!

[stark-strange-love]

Peter: Hi!

Peter:

Peter: Everyone’s bones are wet

Tony: Oh GOD-

Stephen: Why would you say that?

Peter: no one said hi back

[stark-strange-love]

Peter: Waffle is just a pancake with abs

Harley: Sometimes I worry about how your brain works

Tony: Sometimes I worry if it works at all

Stephen: Sometimes I worry if you have one

[doona-baes]

they all had such a crush on teacher bonus:

[susiephone]

my favorite, oddly specific trope is when both the hero and the villain know each other’s secret identities and they wind up bumping into each other when they’re in civilian mode, but they can’t throw down (even though they both REALLY want to) because surprise! they have a mutual friend. so they’re just sitting across from each other at the dinner table awkwardly avoiding eye contact and desperately trying to dodge Oblivious Friend’s questions about what they did over the weekend because they can’t very well sit there and be like “oh yeah this weekend was fun, i went to the movies and then i threw a truck at this asshole’s head” or “not great, there was an issue at the bank and before i could make off with the money, THIS asshole threw a truck at my head”

[69420angrycrabs]

bonus points if their mutual friend mistakes their awkwardness for attraction and keeps trying to set them up

[gaylettucewoman]

more bonus points if it actually fucking WORKS 

[potter-loves-malfoy]

Hi hello someone please write this

[kataly07]

Tony & Stephen *to Pepper*: I would die for you!

Pepper: DO I NEED THAT, ASSHOLES? BECOME A WIDOW WITH A MULTI-BILLION COMPANY AND A BUNCH OF KIDS?!

Tony & Stephen *sweating heavily*: I would…live…for you…?

Pepper *patting their head*: That’s better. Good boys.

[totally-real-bts-quotes]

taehyung as a farmer

yoongi: isn't naming all your animals after famous rappers a little... childish?

taehyung: how dare you say that in front of kendrick llama, chance the rabbit, childish lambino, beaky minaj, the notorious P.I.G, quacklemore, Dr. Neigh...

taehyung: and Agoose D!

yoongi: i... apologize.

[totally-real-bts-quotes]

hoseok as a lawyer

judge: and who will you be representing?

hoseok: [throwing gang sign] the streets your honor.

[totally-real-bts-quotes]

jungkook as a detective

jungkook: the victim is a caucasian male, around 180 pounds, 6'1". his body… has already turned into a ghost.

cop: sir, that’s just the sheet we covered the body with.

-

cop: he probably drowned-

jungkook: looks like he died trying to drink this entire swimming pool.

cop:

cop: alright who tf gave this guy a badge

-

cop: detective, this is a crime scene!

jungkook, stealing ice cream from the victim’s freezer: what? is this the murder weapon? get off my dick!

[daisy-jeon]

Mark, a trainee: *praying* Hey, it’s me again. I need a friend here. I need someone who understands me, possibly the same age? Someone cool though. Please? It’s all I ask for. I just want a sweet friend in my age range. Please…

Lucas, walking into SM: 🤘🏻😉YOOOOO WHAT’S GOOD HAHA🤪😎IM LUCAS😛🤣HONG KONG BORN🤓😆SOUTH KOREA RAISED😗😱LEZ GIDDIT🤩😏MY BROSKIS😍😅

Mark: *praying and sobbing* Jesus, what the fuck-

[incorrectlybts]

[totally-real-bts-quotes]

murderer: come out wherever you are.

taehyung:

murderer: come out or i’ll kill your friends.

taehyung:

murderer: damn what an ugly dog.

taehyung: oh you son of a bitch how fucking dare you his name is tannie and if you’re gonna talk shit about my dog be ready to catch these hands motherfucker show some fucking respect what did he ever do to you-