Out of my desire to know You

A Year filled with devotions from God's Holy word

[365daysdevotions2019-blog]

Philippians 2

His before my

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

I think the natural way to read this is reject such perfect way of living. Because as we walk through we know how hard it is to keep the person in front of you as important as yourself. Easy to say, but hard to live it out. But Christ showed us, He showed us that true service for the gospel is not one that is only about yourself and your self growth and that’s it. Gospel is good news. And good news need to be share(either by words or by action or both). But to be true, it is hard to both live it out and at the same time constantly sharing it. You own fire will only bring you that far, but together, in a same mind, maybe the good news spread to those that are around us.

12 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

I think it is very important to keep in mind why Apostle Paul would say of this. Because when he learned Jesus’ ministry, he did not learn a passive Christ, He learned that Our Christ is active, Our Christ is constantly working and resting, Our Christ is always looking out for His Father’s mission for Him on earth.

I therefore can assure that Apostle Paul said that as obedience Christ followers, we can go through our seasons with joy or with sadness, but one thing we must remember, we will have to allow Our Father to work in us(with humility & surrender) with fear and trembling.

Fear & Trembling looks like He is the only One matter. Fear & Trembling looks like when everything shakes and falls off, we hold onto Him. Fear & Trembling looks like idols & selfish mindsets are exposed and we repent and turn away from them. How does your working in your own salvation with fear & trembling looks like?

[365daysdevotions2019-blog]

Philippians 1

My imprisonment is for Christ

your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, 10 so that you may approve what is excellent, sand so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God

When Paul said this, he is not talking about a romantic love to a love one. He is tackling the love we carry for those that need our help, those around us that are still in darkness, that in God’s wisdom(knowledge & discernment) that we can share the good news the glorious suffering and the victory that Jesus overcame for us in our lives to our surroundings. 

Only let your manner of life be worthyGreek Only behave as citizens worthy">8 of the gospel of Christ

Apostle Paul ended Philippians 1 after talking about how 

to live is Christ, and to die is gain

and his sufferings is for the glory of God. Leaving and be with Christ would be better, but he sees his own suffering and endurance as his ministry to spread Christ to those who don’t know Jesus. He displayed Christ by living his life out with assurance and confidence that the glory of God is better. It shows a glimpse of Job’s life over here as well. Naked I came, naked I will go. But yet, God has yet taken me to Him, so I will be faithful to His plans because His thoughts are higher than mine.

Crazy just to see how Apostle Paul living and writing this letter in such pain and suffering and yet have joy in suffering.

He ended by commanding us, Let your manner of life be worthy of the Gospel of Christ. What does that mean? That means live a life that mirrors Christ, that is so different from the world but yet able to display His glory side to them. It means when you track down your days, weeks, months, you can find traces of God’s fingerprints in the people that are surrounding you. You can see that your life truly impacted your love ones, your friends & family, coworkers and more. 

Jensen, being able to live and love is a gift, so live in Christ, but even when you are taken away, or you are left by yourself, know that you are not because He is there and in Christ, there’s no lost but only gain. You gain Christ. 

[365daysdevotions2019-blog]

Genesis 33

Enough

“I have enough, my brother; keep what you have for yourself.”

Jacob is continuously experiencing God’s grace and blessings. He went back to Canaan with this fear of his brother will kill him. Even after wrestling with God, he still was going through fear that his brother was able to kill him. I think this shows how the old testaments are not just stories but real life events that are recorded to display our emotions and feelings, doubts and sins so that we not only learn from it but read and learn how God heals, listens and deliver us from them.

I know and I still want to be a part of this. Lord, when I am weak, I know You are listening to me. 

Amen

[365daysdevotions2019-blog]

Genesis 32

He strived with God

“Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.”

“Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him.

Jacob knew the man is God but he still asked the man what his name is. This shows me that Jacob was in a place desperation for the help of God, so that Esau, his brother will not kill him and his families. 

Jacob wrestled with the man(God) right after sending his families away. And he was alone, in the place wrestling with God. He was not letting go until the very end, because that’s how much he needs the blessing in his situation and he knows it.

God, in this time and season, I know that I’m wrestling a lot in me. Am I doing the right thing? I don’t know, honestly God. Should I have taken all the offers and leave this company when I had the chances? Should I be looking for jobs right now and find a place to grow? Should I stay but work on my own things? How can I trust anyone anymore? Who is telling me the truth and who is not? Why is everyone lying in here? Why is everyone turning against each other like this? Why can’t we create a space and system of trust and believe? Why does it have to end this way? 

All these questions, all this debates going on again and again in my head. All I know is that I’m in desperate need of You, Lord. Help me to see Your ways in where I am right now. Help me to push through this and help this place to be a company that has true leaderships, right vision and culture for a better workplace for everyone. I need You, Lord. Guide me through this, Jesus. My heart aches when I see my close coworkers leaving every single week. Comfort my heart, Lord.

Amen

[365daysdevotions2019-blog]

Genesis 31

Day & Night

I bore the loss of it myself. From my hand you required it, whether stolen by day or stolen by night. There I was: by day the heat consumed me, and the cold by night, and my sleep fled from my eyes.

Jacob was abused through power, being controlled by Laban but he still faithfully finish his works with integrity. God sees it, every single day, day and night, when Jacob labored and was treated with injustice, he was able to stand firm at where he was and wait on to the Lord.

I pray that Lord, even during this trial period of my workplace. People are leaving the company with anger, with sadness, with hatred, with unforgiveness, I pray that on behalf of them, healing and comfort over them Lord. I know it wasn’t easy for all of them, including myself. But I pray we will all able to move on, and for me, I’m able to fix my eyes on You, and not what’s happening physically towards me that I can’t control. You are in control of this situation, and I know You see everything, all the injustices, all the misunderstanding, all the backstabbing and lies. You see them and I pray for healing even right now in my heart as I’m lifting this prayer up to You, Lord. I pray that I will continue this route until You call me to the next one. I put my trust onto You, Lord. Lead me.

Amen

[365daysdevotions2019-blog]

Genesis 30

God blessed Jacob abundantly.

God alone gives children. He causes babies to be born. He even determines what color baby sheep and goats will be. Genesis 30 describes the urgent desire of Rachel and Leah to have sons for Jacob and how God hears and grants their prayers in His own time. In addition, God blesses Jacob's unusual breeding practices with Laban's flocks to finally allow Jacob to overcome his father-in-law's schemes to keep Jacob under his service.

Even though Jacob was on the losing side, nothing is going to work for him to get what he deserved, God used Jacob wisdom to multiple the sheep and make it strong so that Jacob and take them with him.

Our God is a God that is powerful and capable to change everything for our good. I believe and pray that we will not lose sight of His power and understand that it’s more than suffering He is showing us when it’s hard for us. I’m sure that He is teaching us something very important during those seasons.

Amen

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Genesis 29

Jacob the deceiver

As the Lord is teaching Jacob the deceiver what it is like to be deceived by using Laban and tricked Jacob into working and married Leah before Rachel. Of course Jacob was angry, but because of his love towards Rachel. He moved on and worked for another 7 years.

Yet Leah, too, must learn that it is only through the Lord that her identity can be truly established. As she bears Jacob one son after another, she seeks to use her childbearing as a way to get Jacob to love her—“Now this time,” she says, “my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons” (29:34). She is building her identity on her husband’s love for her instead of on the Lord’s love for her. With the fourth son, however, divine grace breaks through: “This time I will praise the LORD” (29:35). Her fundamental affection has been redirected. And the name of the fourth son? Judah—the one through whom the covenant promises will finally be fulfilled.

A place of praise and worship is always a place we learn that not us but God is in control. He is the Alpha and Omega in our lives, our situation, our story, our universe.

Amen

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Genesis 28

Bethel, house of God

And he dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it! And behold, the LORD stood above it and said, “I am the LORD, theGod of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac. The land on which you lie I will give to you and to your offspring. Your offspring shall belike the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the we stand to the east and to the north and to the south, and in you and your offspring shall all the families of the earth be blessed. Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

Jacob dreamed and say that the angels were ascending and descending from heaven through the ladder. God immediately spoke to Jacob and blessed him with the same promise He spoke over Abraham & Isaac. Even though Jacob was on his way leaving the land, God promised that He will bring Jacob back again.

For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.

God says He will not leave us until He is done with what He promised us. God say, Jensen, I’m not done with you yet. The promises I gave you, the dreams you had, I’m still not done. And He is with me, in me, and He is leading and guiding towards what He called me to.

God, I know You are with me, I know You with us. I pray for my girlfriend, Sohjeong, and I lift her up to you. God I know You have given her lots of dreams, lots of promises and I know You are still reminding her about them. I pray that Sohjeong will not be discouraged by what she is going through right now. You are the God of Jacob, You are also the God of Sohjeong. And I pray this over her, For You will not Sohjeong until You have done what You’ve promised Sohjeong. All the dreams to be in the creative, and also be strong and bold in her work, with her ministry and also with her friends. That she will be like Jacob, putting up her pillow(her resting place) and worship You and find boldness in You. That she can cut through all the discouragements, all the circumstances and be who You called her to be. A princess in Your kingdom, A warrior in her spirit, the light in this world. In Your name, 

Amen

[365daysdevotions2019-blog]

Genesis 27

“Here I am. Who are you, my son?”

Jacob like, and Isaac suspected it at first till he smelled Esau’s clothes, and believed Jacob that he was Esau and prayed the prayer of blessings over Jacob. 

God worked even within lies and sins, and showed mercy and grace towards both Rebekah and Jacob, knowing that both of them lied, in order to obtain and get the prayer blessing from Esau. 

God works in mysterious ways, and this is one of them, why couldn’t it be Esau? Why does it need to be Jacob? Esau, is probably strong by judging on the text describing him as a hunter, on the other hand, Jacob, said it with his own word, that he is more of a quiet person. Not really the one that hunts animal around with spears or arrow. 

When we just read the text, yea, it makes sense that Esau should’ve been the one that got his inheritance, and I do feel bad from Esau. But we need to know that Esau is the one that placed himself in that position at first. He forfeit his birthright because he was hungry. He treated his own inheritance, his identity as something light. He believes that with his God-given talent, he is the one that deserves his father’s blessings. And because of pride and ego, he can see but yet blind. 

Jacob, was quiet and may seem weak, but yet he is ready. He is ready to receive the inheritance, and also he was ready to even go to extremes for God’s promises in his own life. 

We are both Esau and Jacob. We are sinners but yet carrying God’s promises in our daily lives. We all are like Esau, knowing that yes we deserve His blessings, His promises because of our skills, our gifts, our talents and etc. But yet, other side of us desire to be like Jacob, knowing that we are weak and we can’t get it unless we listen and follow on God’s voice because indeed, we don’t deserve His promises at the first place.

I pray, that I will not let myself be like Esau, treating God’s words and promises as something light, but also know that He is my good good father that desires me to see and believe that He is leading me to my promise land.

Amen

[365daysdevotions2019-blog]

Genesis 26

Room for us

For now the LORD has made room for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land.

Isaac dug 3 times, first two was successful but yet was taken away. And then at the 3rd time, no one came and took it away from him. God’s blessings is really surrounding Isaac and wherever he goes. But I think Isaac’s faith is also the main objective of this story as well. 

How many we dug our own well, and someone take it away from us? How many times, we poured out our time, our finance or even our feelings, and all we got is betrayal. But Isaac kept on with the second one, and then the third till he got where God wants him to be at and no one bother him for it. 

I pray that we will not be discouraged and stop at what God called us to be at, or be to do. Continue not because of blind faith or stubborn at what we think what’s right. But continue to believe from the promises and the little signs that God placed around us. I pray that we will not find vision and wisdom in Him and Him only.

Amen

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Genesis 25

Sell me your birthright now

Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright now.”  Esau said, “I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me?” Jacob said,“Swear to me now.” So he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he ate and drank and rose and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright.

Jacob cheated his way out from this world. He was holding Esau heel when he was born. But even when he was painted and described as this weak brother. And by the way, Isaac loves Esau. But Jacob’s understanding of his inheritance and also his situation is way clearer than Esau. Sell me what your birthright, said Jacob. Because he knows it, he wants it, he is willing to get it, he was given the inheritance. 

I know my identity! I know my birthright! I know I’m called to be lover of Christ, to be man for other men, to be displaying Christ’s love to everyone around me. I don’t need to be in a successful company, or be in my dream to these. I’m able to do so, because I know who I am. Humble and teach me every single day, Lord. I know what I need You, Lord. I put my trust in You, Lord. My inheritance, my promises are all from You.

Amen

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Genesis 24

Gazed at God’s promises 

The man gazed at her in silence to learn whether the LORD had prospered his journey or not.

The servant was gazing at Rebekah in silence, in full attention, see and learn whether she is the one that he had called to come for. To see and learn the ways we are in, is it from God or not. You might think you can’t do it, but when you are focus with what God has promised you, and know that He is with you, you will learn to discern, in another word, gaze the ways infront of you to learn from each road, whether God had prospered it for you or not.

I know my company is going through a rough time. At the end of it, we are all not perfect. We are all sinners. There’s no perfect workplace in this world. We all fall short in some way or not. But still, we stay true with our identity in Christ. I shall not move according the temptations around me. Instead, God will teach me to gaze, to put down what I’m currently doing, thinking, and worrying, and simply gaze into the situation and see whether God had prospered it or not. And I will know when to leave or when to move on. Because He is with me no matter where I go, what I do. I don’t need to strive to be known, I’m already known by the King of kings, Lord of lords.

Amen

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Genesis 23

Sojourner and Foreigner

“I am a sojourner and foreigner among you; give me property among you for a burying place, that I may bury my dead out of my sight.”

The New Testament then picks up the language of sojourning and exile to describe what it means to live as a disciple of Christ before our own final restoration. “Beloved,” writes Peter, “I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul” (1 Pet. 2:11; cf. 1:1). “Our citizenship is in heaven,” says Paul (Phil. 3:20).

We are on this earth but not from this earth. My citizenship is in heaven the second I accepted Jesus into my heart. Even though, earth is where I am right now, a place, where it God sent me, to go through life on earth, so that through grace, I’m able to have a relationship with Him and get to know who He is, get to be in His presence. Do not be attached to this world, use my time to be with Him and get to know Him and worship Him.

Amen

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Genesis 22

Jesus is that lamb

And Isaac said to his father Abraham, “My father!”And he said, “Here I am, my son.” He said, “Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?” 8 Abraham said, “God will provide for himself the lamb for a burnt offering, my son.”So they went both of them together.

This is a very significant story and image for us as believers. We can ask all sorts of questions about why was God testing Abraham when He gave Abraham his son after such a long wait in the desert, and then after coming out from the wilderness, and entered into God’s promises. God tested Abraham not because God simply enjoyed making Abraham suffered. He tested him, because He knows at the end, God Himself, will stop it, and replace it with His own son. God so love us, He couldn’t see His sons and daughter being the one that pays for our own sin, so instead, He sent His one and only Son, and died on the cross for us.

Abraham understands that God will provide. Even if he killed Isaac, in him, he believes that God will resurrect Isaac because he loves Isaac, and he believes in God’s promises.

God will test me, and you, and those that follows Him, because He wants us to know at the end of all these, is it God over everything, or just God over a part of it. This test provides us a clear picture on our believes, if it’s just a convenient belief, then you will definitely see that during the test. But if I’m truly believe that God really provides, I know I’m safe in Him, in His providence. Even with my relationship with Sohjeong, I know there’s no one in this world and thing can break us apart other than God. But if God says so, I will place my relationship on the altar and surrender it to Christ. Because if I don’t, then I do not believe that God provided this love and relationship for us. And I can even say if I couldn’t do it, I’m truly lack of understanding God. I’ll be heartbroken but I still need to believe only God can give and if He chooses to take it away from me, He definitely has His reasons.

Sohjeong, I love you. but my love for Christ is always going to be more than what I can give you. I believe and trust in every step that He leads me, I will do everything to cherish and love on you. I will continue to pray that both of us will not idolize each other, that both of us will not idolize this relationship, we will continue to pursue Godliness and be mold into Christ-likeness in this relationship together. Even when we fail, even when we fall, even when we feel like we are weak, we must know that God is with us, and in Him, even when we go through all these, we can say we are strong and victorious, not because of us, but because of Him.

Amen

[365daysdevotions2019-blog]

Genesis 21

Laughter, Pain

“ Such is the way God works out his promises in the lives of his people. Pain is normally the channel through which divine blessing and favor flows. For it is pain that brings us to truly trust in the Lord. It is adversity that convinces us of the emptiness of the things the world runs after. Suffering is God’s fatherly way of drawing us to himself. ”

For all the promises of God were achieved not through a victorious military campaign or sufficient human obedience or any other humanly generated strategy but through a cross.

Thank you God, that my life is not painted with a journey I chose for myself, but one that is constantly painful and confused and lost, but it is You that guided me, led me, spoke to me from the beginning and even till this moment right now. Lord, through Your cross, I see pain, but at the same time I see victory. I’ve felt more free than living a life You have given me, to trust You, to know I’m known by You and also a life that is constantly wanting to know You. 

Amen

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Genesis 20

God did miracles before my eyes, but not mine, why?

Then Abraham prayed to God, and God healed Abimelech, and also healed his wife and female slaves so that they bore children. 18 For the LORD had closed all the wombs of the house of Abimelech because of Sarah, Abraham's wife.

Abraham lied, Sarah lied as well, and it almost cost a nation’s death, but God intervened and spoke to Abimelech about it. What’s interesting is that God closed all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, and it was until Abraham prayed, God healed their wombs. But not Sarah’s? They waited and waited, probably gave up a few times by laughing at God when He reminded them that He would provide them a child. 

What I learned from this passage is that, when God’s promises in our lives are not physically or mentally reflected before us, we are tend to discourage and continue to live the same way of unbelief just like before.

God again and again promised and reminded Abraham and Sarah that He would give them a child and nations will come out from them, but even when they prayed, God somehow showed them that people around them are going to get it before the physically experience it.

1. God is teaching us about trust and greater dependance on Him even when people are experiencing it and we are not. It takes even more courage and faith to say, God, I know and I trust in You, Lord, Your timing is perfect.

2. God is teaching us about how His promises is not for our desires and dreams. Maybe Abaraham & Sarah dreamed for more an early pregnancy life, comfortable environment. But God chose them, to experience constant faith in trusting that only He can provide, only He can lead them to life, only He can save, only He can give, only He can love, but we can’t do it back at all. Our ways are always leading us towards death, and even effects those around us, but God comes, and saves us from it, so that with Him, our first body is dead, and now we are reborn and is called His sons and daughters.

Amen

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Genesis 19

Merciful God

But he lingered. So the men seized him and his wife and his two daughters by the hand, the LORD being merciful to him, and they brought him out and set him outside the city. And as they brought them out, one said, “Escape for your life. fDo not look back or stop anywhere in the valley. Escape to the hills, lest you be swept away.”

The Lord is a merciful God and He spared Lot’s and Lot’s family lives because He remembers what He promised Abraham. He shown mercy towards Lot even though the sin and darkness in Sodom and Gomorrah was massive.

This passage shows me that our God is merciful and at the same time powerful and He hates sin.

Amen