I Am But A Traveller Of Life

[3llah]

I am not okay this past few weeks, months. Life seems to be difficult and a struggle for me. Yes, there were moments that I drunk myself more than my body could take. My mind is a messed and chaotic that I’m having evil thoughts. But I keep on fighting my own demon. I noticed that the more I drunk, the more I get so depressed and troubled by my anxieties afterwards. I need healing, I need saving. So every night I cried myself out. I went to church and have a quiet time with God. I asked Him why. I have so many questions that needed an answer. Every morning and every night I watched inspirational videos hoping that I could find the answers. I get high with God.

I didn’t say that I’m already healed. Healing is a continuous process and takes a lot of time. I’m actually planning on getting professional help and will also locked myself up in retreat house for days so I can reflect and reconnect with Him.

What I’m trying to say is we all have our own battle. We just know how fight wisely. Don’t beat yourself up instead beat the one that troubles you.

[3llah]

THE PROPOSAL

I’ve been dreaming of this moment for so long. Holding your hand while I’m down on my knees. Saying my perfect speech before I ask you this one question that made me sleepless and excited by just thinking about how you gonna answer me.

I’ve been rehearsing this day for a thousand times just to make sure I perfected every words and emotions that goes with it.

But looking at your face and in your eyes make me lose all my thoughts as I get mesmerised by your charm and beauty.

You’re so undeniably wonderful and I can’t think of any other person that made my soul feels so warmth. I used to be with someone that makes me feel so alive, but finding you gives me the desire to wake up each day and live life longer.

With all these, I want to know “Will you live happily ever after with me?”

- elya -

[3llah]

In silence I find solace.

In silence I dream of things far from reality - full of bliss, full of love.

In silence I can say whatever I wanted to say - no hesitations, no pretensions.

But sometimes silence is so loud, full of deafening thoughts that buried you alive.

- elya -

[3llah]

Coffee, doodle and my thoughts, day before Christmas

[3llah]

When Having Episode

1. Temper rise. Get easily annoyed over petty things and feels like about to explode. Then followed by

2. Deep sadness. Morale become so low and tears suddenly keeps pouring without any reasons. Then leads to

3. Emptiness. Feel nothing, see nothing, hear nothing. Numbness in greater aspect. Senses stop working, heart retire from beating. It’s like floating in a deep black hole.

[3llah]

I can stare at your face all day long. Like no one else exist in this world but you and I. That every blink of an eye gives me a glimpse of the future that awaits us.

But right now all I have is this very moment, you and I sitting together. For tomorrow is yet to come and so I want to cherish every second as I held you in my arms.

- elya -

[3llah]

I wanted to fall in love so deep, making me unable to breathe. Where my feelings are overflowing making everything I see appears so amazing. I hear music everywhere that soothes my heart but sometimes racing to the beat of the drum. And my lips that never ceases to grin as your face keeps flashing in my head.

-elya

[3llah]

Things not always turn out the way we want them to be. Thus, we must learn to let go to understand.

[wnq-writers]

“I know you come home with the same worry that clouds your mind every night. I know you are aching, and breaking, trying to hold onto the little hope that remains. I know you’re lost and confused, the doubt flooding your veins. But my darling, you weren’t born to be sure. You weren’t born to have it all figured out. You weren’t born to fit a mould. You were born to explore, to seek and to find. You are here to love, to hurt, to heal, not to be confined. You are here to create your own life, to not conform to a timeline. You are here to be 18, and dancing under the moonlight, drunk on cheap wine. You are here to be 25, to climb mountains and to swim oceans. You are here to be 40, to wake up rich in love, and be comforted by this through the everyday commotion. And you are here to be 60, to tell your story of a wild life lived. You are here for so much more than a job, a relationship or a degree. You are here to appreciate the wonders of the world and to make memories. You cannot tell me that age is important when the atoms that made you have taken billions of years to form you. So, to Hell with anyone who restricts you with their timelines. You are here, breathe in, and breathe out. You will figure it out and you will be fine.”

— a reminder to my 18 year old self, and anyone else who is lost and unsure.

[3llah]

You are here for one reason...that's is to live.

Dive in to every emotions but also learn to let go.

Always be at the moment, make peace with your past and do not live for tomorrow. For things will unfold on its perfect timing.

It's okay to get lost so you can discover or create new direction towards your own path.

Be strong for you will never be alone.

[3llah]

Silent Killer

When you're fighting your own demon, trying your very best to silence the voice in your head. You resort to physical exhaustion, numbing every part of your body just like your heart does. Hoping that by doing so you can awaken your inner self, someone who's greater and more stronger than your physical being. But the voice just gets louder and louder each day. Depression starts eating you up. Shutting everyone out, for isolation gives you certain sense of comfort.

- elya -

[3llah]

What’s the use of being on top if everyday you hate what you’re doing? If you have no time for your family or even for yourself. If you can’t travel because deadlines never end. If you still work at home after spending 10 to 12 hours in the office, instead of catching up with your favorite series.

It’s not always about money and pride. But more of finding your own space in life. I’m not asking you to be complacent nor settling for something less. Instead be reminded of your priorities, of your passion, of your dreams. Find self-fulfillment by doing what you love and loving what you do. Climb your own mountain and reach your summit. #notetoself

[3llah]

So much hate in this world that it's easy to be a critic than to give credit. Everyone has their own story, a reason in every action and a secret feelings that we're trying to conceal. Don't be easily fooled by what you see. Life has a bright and dark side, for the world of relativity is composed of light and shadows. Not everyone will love you, but you can love everyone. And that's our purpose.

[3llah]

The heart that has been broken is the heart that loved

[3llah]

Clouds and Mountains

[3llah]

You're meant to create more memories everyday

-elya

[3llah]

I'm not sure how you're feeling right now, But remember that you are loved ❣

[3llah]

Love is like a fart If you force it, then it comes with a shit.

-elya-