formerly anon

I like tennis.

[40lovedeuce]

attempting to be less anon

@alacants told me to make an intro post, so here it is. hello! i'm the anon bff who (lovingly) dragged her down into the tennis swamp with me. i love to talk about my ships, which are mainly sincaraz and novandy, but i also like sinnettini, erralini, matteoflavio, etc. mostly i just enjoy a good Narrative™ :)

i sometimes write fic, all my (completed) fic is linked below. and there's the fic tag, which also contains wips and abandoned drafts.

Series

like a river flows surely to the sea  1. free fall (or: twenty-four hours in umag) - Sincaraz, 8.5k, rated T - Jannik, Carlos, and a life-changing day in 2022. 2. someday soon - Sincaraz, 4k, rated T - After winning the US Open, Jannik reflects on his choices over the last six months.

eppur si muove  1. rhyme or reason - Sincaraz, 2.1k, rated E - A situationship, from Jannik’s POV. 2. checkmate - Sincaraz, 4.7k, rated E - The same situationship, from Carlos’ POV. 3. praxis - Sincaraz, 4.8k, rated E - Jannik has a theory.

Standalones

one is silver and the other gold - Sincaraz, Novandy, 5.6k, rated T - The day after the gold medal match, Carlos and Novak have an unexpected conversation about tennis, rivalry, and the ways people cope with heartbreak.

el café y la poesía - Sincaraz, 3k, rated T - After the 2024 Beijing final. (Pining. It’s just pining.)

the world goes on its wicked way - Novandy, Sincaraz, 6.7k, rated T - After the 2024 Shanghai final. Novak, Carlos, Jannik…and Roger Federer, who just can’t stop talking.

would that i’d loved long ago - Novandy, 3.8k, rated G - Andy, Novak, and a late-night conversation before Wimbledon 2024.

(re)ignite - Sincaraz, Sinnettini, Jacknik, past Sinnerskaya, 11.2k, rated T - Jannik finds his way back, with a little help from the people who love him.

wildernesses so intricate - Sincaraz, 2.4k, rated T - Regency AU. Jannik Sinner has a reputation. Miss Alcaraz doesn’t care.

an anatomy of pain management - Novandy, 5.6k, rated T - In which Novak tries to talk Andy into staying on as his coach.

[40lovedeuce]

welcome baaaack I've missed seeing your lovely thoughts and writing on my dash! it's been a rollercoaster of a few hours but seeing your username pop up was a little spark of joy!

hello and thank you! <3 haha i'll try to come up with something more fun than my crash outs which has been (check my own blog) the only thing i've posted for two months, oops. maybe some escapist fic to soothe the existential sunburn of tennis.

[40lovedeuce]

also, hi tumblr. i'm kind of back? i've been in intensive therapy after getting out of the hospital last month, so i'll just say 1) i am doing better but still have a long ways to go, and 2) turns out the things i've learned & practiced about grief, acceptance, effectiveness are also helpful for dealing with sports stress lol. right now i am upset and that is okay. i am still upset, on and off, about carlos injury, and i am also upset about jannik losing the way he did today. i am not going to try to rationalize or dismiss the hurt right now, even though i could - sport is sport, climate change is real, bad tournament policies are bad, he's played too much, he's already done so much, he will come back stronger, etc. - all that can wait, because right now i just need to be sad. and that's okay! the sadness will pass. all emotions will grow smaller again, like a tide coming in and out. acceptance is not the same as agreement; acceptance is the first part of two things that are simultaneously true: this is how it is, and it can be better.

[40lovedeuce]

lmao FUCK the french open honestly. this miserable cursed tournament has been the bane of my existence since i was a teenager and will continue to be until i am dust in the wind. casper nearly fainting in the heat wasn't enough. jakub collapsing in agony wasn't enough. jannik and his genetic predilection for heat intolerance sure as hell won't be enough for these assholes to change anything to protect players. someone will actually have to die on court, it now seems like a matter of when not if.

[40lovedeuce]

i've been doing a really good job of not crashing out about carlos injury and i think i deserve a little reward, for example, wallowing in abject misery for the next two months

[gamesetandmath]

we are ignoring reality, choose whatever option suits you more :

1) carlos made a deal with the devil for the cygs

2) juanki really hast let go of the voodoo doll , novak will provide a list of counter curses tonight

3) brace gimmick so feliciano will shut the fuck up and make other sportsmen coddle and baby him tonight

4) adversity farming to the highest degree

5) self inflicted auraloss so the spirit of roger federer will leave the other side of the net

[40lovedeuce]

real ones remember davis cup 2008 and know that rafa jodar is felifer son

[40lovedeuce]

why did they dress him like an orca

[40lovedeuce]

Do you have a favorite happy sincaraz au/fic thought that you haven’t shared yet?

i did have to pause for a moment to be like "well, what qualifies as happy?" a;sldkfj. ok, well! for explicitly happy without 10,000 words of suffering/yearning to get there - it would have to be umag timeline denouement.

i started writing a third fic in this universe in 2024. the third fic skips ahead a few years to carlos/jannik's late-twenties, when the two of them elope during the off-season. they've been together nearly ten years. they've been planning to get married. they've been talking about actually doing it. but the details keep tripping them up: carlos wants to invite everyone they know; jannik wants to invite basically no one. after what feels like a thousand rounds of back and forth on the very concept of a guest list, jannik puts his foot down: "no, i want this to be private, i want it to be our day. we can have a party later but the wedding should be just for us." and carlos is like, "…ok, so you want to elope?" jannik: what, right now? no—i mean— carlos: we could, you know :) next thing you know they have the whole thing planned and done. the only people invited to the ceremony are alvaro and mark. good luck to both of them when their mothers find out that not only did carlos and jannik elope, but they were aided and abetted by their own older brothers who should have known better than to enable this nonsense, mark full-name sinner and alvaro full-name alcaraz garfia! because ofc virginia and siglinde have been looking forward to planning this wedding for years!!

digression to say: the original fic idea also starred juanki who 1) i thought would survive longer as coach, rip, and 2) in the fic timeline, has been fully dismissing this "relationship" that's been going on under his nose for a literal decade. carlos has tried to tell him that it's serious, that he's very serious about jannik, and juanki is just like (eyeroll) "ok yes you can go take a few days off to visit monaco, just be back by monday." because to juanki's old school, repressed way of thinking, this is just a fling! sometimes it happens. but it doesn't mean anything. you can't actually have feelings for a rival, a fellow competitor, because that simply Is Not Done. i mean, sure, one day you're all buddy-buddy but the next day you might have to play each other in a final! it would be completely unprofessional to be involved.

somewhere in the background, david ferrer is :) totally :) fine :) with :) this :) because he's over it, you see! it's been twenty years and he's totally over the part where he once tried to confess his feelings to juan carlos. and got firmly shoved back into the friendzone before he could even get two words out. ah, well. sometimes the magic of davis cup makes you do strange things. anyway, it's nice that he and juanki managed to stay friends despite his error all those years ago! (in the background of the background, feli lopez thinks juanki is a stone cold bitch for doing that to his friend >:( and mostly the rest of their friends agree.)

the juankiferru in this fic is a direct contrast to jannik and carlos who have actually TALKED about their feelings and made themselves very clear to one another: they want a life together, with each other, a life full of tennis and rivalry and compassion and love and joy. even when it gets hard. especially when it gets hard, because the things that matter most are the things that you have to fight for. not just against other people, or the world, but yourself and your own weaknesses and doubts. carlos has doubts. so does jannik. but the one thing neither will ever question is what they mean to one another. even when they're breaking each other's heart on a tennis court time and again. after the ups and downs of 2025 - after jannik's taken the atp finals trophy and carlos has the year-end number 1 - while media and sponsors are still waiting for the both of them to go say all the right things while smiling for the cameras - jannik asks his team for a moment, and goes to the locker room down the hall. carlos shoos his team out of the room. they have maybe five minutes. jannik smiles at him. carlos smiles back. he's tired, hurting, still processing the loss, and jannik knows what that feels like, because carlos has been teaching him how to lose since jannik was eighteen. carlos has taught him over and over again, and will continue to do so, certainly, for as long as they both play. and of all the lessons he's learned, the most important will have been this: in those stolen five minutes, in a barely-private turin locker room, jannik takes carlos by the hand and goes down on one knee.

…and that's the real and true story of a long-ass mushy sincaraz proposal + elopement that i will never write because juanki got fired.

[40lovedeuce]

but also spiritually im still trapped in your janiil + carlos winner's room wip....... carlos coming face-to-face with the fact his fated rival had other, more foundational rivalships!

i totally forgot to answer this and then remembered as i was like "huh maybe i should work on my janiil wip tonight" so - i'm also still here! i've also been entertaining myself with the extended universe of that fic aka the monte carlo winner's room aka carlos is definitely not still jealous or anything! and yeah it's totally cool if jannik postpones a couple hours - carlos isn't leaving that early in the morning after all, haha! - because jannik has to go call matteo and wish him happy bday wtf. it's cool! because, once again, carlos Is Totally Fine And Normal About All This. and he is definitely not going to murder daniil on a tennis court the next time they meet.

[40lovedeuce]

Praxis

Jannik Sinner/Carlos Alcaraz, 4.8k, rated E // part 3 of eppur si muove

He knows what Carlos really wants on nights like these: to be told what to do, and praised for how well he does it. Often, it coincides with times when Carlos isn't in a mood to talk. Simple enough to get away with when his mouth is full of cock. Jannik isn't letting him off that easily this time.

Read on AO3

[blans]

and WHY do you need to know when he is leaving? 🤨

[damnrightyouare]

- Charles Bukowski

[40lovedeuce]

Doha 2017 Final: Djokovic d. Murray 6-3, 5-7, 6-4

[janniksreturn]

lowkey musinner thesis💀

[tieheartbreaker]

toddler and baby

[40lovedeuce]

snippet from a wip, because @islandbetweenrivers asked what my futurefic is about.

~

At the 2032 Brisbane Olympic Games, Alex de Minaur defeated Carlos Alcaraz 6-4, 6-7(2), 7-5 in the men's singles final to capture a historic gold for Australia on home soil.

During preparations for the medal ceremony, De Minaur was seen ducking around staff and volunteers to seek out his opponent. Alcaraz was notably less distraught than he'd been after losing to Djokovic in the gold medal match at the 2024 Paris Olympics. He exchanged a few words with De Minaur, and the two embraced. Lip readers soon identified the words De Minaur had spoken to Alcaraz. 

Translated from Spanish: "Couldn't catch you all week with the craziness. You lunatic. Congratulations, man. Congratulations. Wish you both a lifetime of happiness."

The night before the men's singles event started, a post had gone up on Carlos Alcaraz's Instagram account. The black and white photograph showed two hands overlapping, matching bands on each ring finger. Nails clean but unmanicured. Cuff links on dress shirt sleeves. The caption: A beautiful day.

The media storm already brewing around Alcaraz promptly took a turn for the apocalyptic.

Following Alcaraz's first-round win, the on-court interview began with the expected question. "Carlos, congratulations on the win. Though it looks like we owe you another congratulations, am I right? You just got married?"

Earlier, the cameras had honed in on the wedding ring tied to his shoelaces as soon as he stepped out onto court. The ring was now back on his finger, and Alcaraz smiled as he replied, "First of all, it was a great match today. Appreciate all the support. And yes, ah, I'm married. Yes, thank you. We had a simple ceremony with family. It was a really beautiful day."

Scattered murmurs and applause from the crowd. Chris Eubanks forged ahead. "I know you like to keep that side of things separate from the tennis, your private life and relationships, so we've never discussed significant others during your years on tour. But I think the question everyone's dying to ask is, well, is your spouse here with you? Are we finally going to meet them?"

Eubanks' carefully worded question had the opposite of its intended effect. The crowd rewarded this display of tact and circumspection with boos from all sides. The broadcast failed to censor at least one audible faggot screamed from the stands. Eubanks visibly tensed. Alcaraz's expression didn't change. 

"No, unfortunately," Alcaraz said. "My husband isn't here. He's a very private person and doesn't want to be in the news, so I ask everyone to respect our privacy. We are very happy. But right now I'm focused on the tournament, on the next match. Thank you all."

The collective gasp that began at husband had escalated into minor pandemonium by the time Eubanks spoke into the mic again. "Well, we wish you the very best." He had to raise his voice to be heard over the noise of the crowd. "Once again, ladies and gentlemen, Carlos Alcaraz of Spain!"

Questions swirled as speculation ran wild.

On court and in the press room, Alcaraz gave the same responses again and again. Yes, I got married. No, it did not come out of nowhere. We've been together a long time. No, I've never lied or mislead anyone. No, I don't think I owe you an explanation for my private life. Because it's private. Of course I advocate for gender and sexual equality because it's personal to me. If I married a woman, it would still be personal to me.

Dozens of names were floated as possible candidates for Alcaraz's secret spouse. Every player in the tournament was grilled on whether they had known, whether they had suspected, whether they felt betrayed. Most knew better than to even entertain gossip and innuendo. Responses ranged from unconditional support for Alcaraz to barely-concealed disgust, but as a whole, players held the line. Only Italian no.1 Lorenzo Musetti, driven beyond endurance after three straight days of this line of questioning, snapped at a reporter that, "He could be dating Djokovic for all I care. What does that have to do with my win today?"

Five days later Musetti would pose politely for podium photos with Alcaraz and De Minaur, having collected the second Olympic bronze of his career.

By the time De Minaur sat down for his post-final press conference, his incriminating exchange with Alcaraz had gone viral on social media. The interrogation that followed nearly overshadowed the Australian press' exhilaration at their heroic, home-grown gold medalist.

You seem to be familiar with Alcaraz and his spouse. Were you invited to his wedding? Can you tell us more about their relationship? Do you think it's right he kept this secret for so long while championing LGBT equality? Do you think the situation is distracting from his poor performance this week?

De Minaur stared hard at the reporter who asked that last question, before reminding the room that he'd needed nearly four hours today to claim a narrow victory over one of the greatest players tennis had ever seen. And no, he had not been invited to Carlos' wedding, because he was in no way related to Carlos or his spouse. No, he did not know the identity of Carlos' spouse. He hadn't known Carlos was dating anyone until the Instagram post, same as you all. You're quibbling with a choice of words. It's customary to wish both halves of the couple well, when you're congratulating a friend who's married the person he loves.

A transcript of the follow-up exchange subsequently also went viral: 

Q: Alex, is it difficult for you to accept that Alcaraz is gay and has been hiding it this whole time?" De Minaur: I beg your pardon?  Q: You said 'person', but we know now that Alcaraz married a man.  De Minaur: Seriously? I call Katie my favorite person in the world. You think that's because I find it difficult to accept she's a woman? Next question.