♡ 4dkelly ♡

Leave everything alone and abide in your Self

[4dkellysworld]

Welcome ♡

Welcome to 4dkelly's world. You may call me 4dkelly or Kelly. @4dbarbie-archive and @ndjournal are my side blogs and I keep most of my reblogs @4dkellyreblogs. Most of my understanding of non-duality is from 4dbarbie (Ada), Lester Levenson, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Robert Adams and my own experiences as Self! I would say my primary teachers are Lester and Robert so a lot of the excerpts and quotes I share now are from them ❤️ I made an AI chatbot with Lester's teachings. If you want to ask it a question, see this post.

Everything that I share on this blog are intended to be pointers, suggestions and helpful tips for people on the same journey. If you resonate with it, feel free to explore it further and if it doesn't, you can disregard it :)

Note: I'm taking a break from Tumblr for an undecided amount of time. I feel like it's the right time to step away for now. Maybe (or maybe not) I'll pop back in in a few months and answer if there's any asks/submissions @askailester or @ndjournal. Take care everyone and don't forget that You are your best guide on this path. You don't need to take anything that doesn't resonate. Keep living your truth! ❤️

Navigation

Masterlists: My writings and My 4dbarbie adaptation posts

Other adaptations: Remixes, Highlights

From: Excerpts and Quotes (Buddha, Jesus, Conversations with God, Lester Levenson, Robert Adams, Walter C Lanyon, Neville Goddard, Paul Brunton, Siddharameshwar Maharaj, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Ramana Maharshi, Ranjit Maharaj, One Truth One Law)

Practice: Self-inquiry, Witnessing, Surrender, Attitude, Exercise, Releasing

Topics: Ego, Desire, Problems, Pitfalls, Mind purification, Fears, Healing, Faith, Progress, Creation

Other: Asks, AI Writings, Resources, AI Chats, Diary notes, Thoughts, Reply notes (replies to anons), Reblogs, Personal, Realisophie, AI 4dbarbie, 4dbarbie GPT, Aster GPT

For ND books, see my Google drive (only take what resonates for you)

Quick links: 4dbarbie GPT, Aster GPT

If you're new to non-duality and want a place to start, I suggest reading my 4dbarbie adaptation posts first (in order from the masterlist) then the practical guidance tag. Also be discerning about what you read and your sources.

If you have a suggestion, leave a comment in my suggestion box

Read this if you are going through a difficult time on your journey.

[4dkellysworld]

God

I was asked if there were any developments from my God post. Yes though it's still unraveling, as it always will be. Since then I no longer question or feel uncertain about the existence of God, God is everything and everywhere. I've felt "his" presence in particular things such as a tree, a prayer song, a person and I understood these to be little signposts from God pointing me to where I want to go, not because those things are God in themselves. Feeling Gods presence renders me speechless and silent, it really is the most special and magical experience ever.

When I look at deities, I see them as different faces of the same God. I like seeing people from different religions worshipping and paying their respects to their Gods, knowing that they're all praying to the same Infinite Being even if they don't know it themselves.

It's made it all the more beautiful. Sometimes God talks to me through little signs, sometimes directly from people. I don't need to look for signs, they come to me. The whole experience has brought me to a place of great surrender, of allowing life to be whatever it is.

To Vanessa, things are really limited but to God, miracles are normal. When things feel hopeless, it's okay to lean into your faith, whatever it may be. Even if it's to a deity, ultimately it's still God in an avatar. ❤️

And I know that God isn't separate from me in the ultimate sense, I experienced this when I first met him. But when ego gets in the way, my experience with God reminds me of how it all happened because I truly and utterly surrendered and then it's easier to just let go.

[lains-reality]

hi! Idk how to exactly word out my feelings properly and i have been asking about this situation from multiple bloggers and only some replied, which did help me temporarily but the shit just bounces back right on my face. I have been in this community since 2022 i believe, during that time I couldn't really understand much especially nd bloggers but as time passed by I learnt more and more. Even hopped on trends like the void for about an year, I kinda did succeed but wasn't able to materialize anything out of it. At the start of this year, seeing how unstable i was becoming, I decided to drop the methods, the expectations, the waiting and it sort of went on for few months until something really traumatic happened with me and even tho its been months I'm still not able to get out of it. At first, I thought okay this is the time to manifest everything altogether and not get used to my 3d but i couldn't change shit. I will not get into too much details but my privacy was violated and someone went through my ipad which was the only device i used and now im left with trauma, deleted data which im dying to get back, and loss of only source of security and comfort. Ik this question seems very silly to you and i look like a newbie who still doesn't know anything about the law but trust me when i say this, I've read multiple posts from bloggers like you, tried my best to detach, let go of vanessa and whatnot. Kelly recommended some exercises to me to process trauma and all and i did all that but the loop of embarrassment and shame continues. I really can't even imagine continuing this version of life rn. Pls suggest what can i do to deal with all this and wake up as "lara" in a whole another world

give up "lara". you're postponing your peace + happiness into the future. (also peace and happinness is within you NOW, not the "3d")

The past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of "salvation," of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions... As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out of present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love - even the most simple action. Eckhart Tolle

it might be horrible to hear right now, but the future will not save you. all you are doing is waiting and avoiding yourself (this is what keeps you stuck).

if you're feeling stuck, that just means you're feeding yourself the same reality over and over again (the same story, thoughts, feelings, perspectives, etc.) heavenlythea

you said you've read my posts? have you looked at this one? i recommend going back to kellys exercises, it'd be best to get to a neutral feeling first.

"something really traumatic happened with me and even tho its been months I'm still not able to get out of it. At first, I thought okay this is the time to manifest everything altogether"

grasping for control through manifestation just doesn't work.

you haven't dealt with these emotions so they keep coming back. i suggest you read the first chapters of letting go by david hawkins, or if you can't be bothered read this from kelly. i also want you to look through the way of rest by jeff foster. (i really suggest you read this!)

you haven't given yourself any rest period, you went straight into trying to force an outcome. give it up, the body-mind cannot do the work of god that you want. (the body-mind doesn't do anything, it can't. the Self is already perfect and "doing" everything. all you can do is let it. let it be.)

emotions will come up and leave by themselves - if you find them stuck, then investigate why.

e.g. what are you seeking with lara? is there any more emotions underneath the embarrassment and shame? is this a desire of approval, safety or control - can you let it go?

"Kelly recommended some exercises to me to process trauma and all and i did all that but the loop of embarrassment and shame continues."

this shows that you haven't changed how you respond to the emotions.

the more persistant emotions will leave once you understand your relation to them. once you realise that emotions can be there without it meaning anything about you, or meaning that the worst is to come - they leave naturally. if you are not the feelings and thoughts, then you cannot be hurt by them. you can stop avoiding them. you are safe to let them go.

if you approach the embarrasment with the understanding that you are not the body-mind then it becomes small. embarrasment is completely fine to be there, and nothing is forever. you don't need so and so to be complete as you are. you don't have to be embarrassed if all is Self, theres no one to look upon you and judge - except you. forgive yourself and move on.

why torture yourself with judgment and expectations?

if you really know the law or nd, then return to the basics and give up the rest.

if you really must keep manifesting, then i suggest ONLY thisdreamplace. stop consuming multiple blogs and start working by yourself.

(i really just regurgitated this post unknowingly - please go and read it anon, all the answers are already here. but you have to start.)

[4dkellysworld]

grateful Lain is still here 🙏🏻

Anon, to break the loop of negative emotions, you need to identify the root causes: it generally boils down to underlying (usually hidden and unconscious) belief(s) or your perspectives about the trauma or issue. You need to identify what they are and then release and/or change them so they stop generating and driving the negative emotions - essentially change your mind on what it all means. This requires honest and deep self investigation and self inquiry. I think I've already covered how to on my blog before but if not, ask Aster GPT - hopefully she's still good, haven't used her in a while.

[4dkellysworld]

thought of more stuff so putting it here.

Alternatively anon, give up all responsibility for everything that happened and just surrender it all. Surrender to the universe, your faith, God, your deity, whatever will allow you to finally let it go. Ask yourself what will allow you to truly let it go then give yourself it. If it's forgiveness and absolution, then give it to yourself or imagine you've been given it. If it's justice, imagine you've got it.

Something that helps me get through tough times that feel hopeless is the thought "I refuse to let this defeat me". No matter what happens, you get to choose whether this defines you or not. Let yourself cry and feel the emotions for as long as you need but remember that it's also up to you to free yourself from these chains and you can absolutely do it because who you truly are is a pure and free being, infinite and untouched by any bullshit happening to Vanessa or in the world.

Also maybe give hypnotherapy a go if you still feel this is all beyond your personal capacity to release, just do your research and pick someone trustworthy for sensitive matters.

Hope this helps, take care 🤍🫶🏻

[lains-reality]

hi! Idk how to exactly word out my feelings properly and i have been asking about this situation from multiple bloggers and only some replied, which did help me temporarily but the shit just bounces back right on my face. I have been in this community since 2022 i believe, during that time I couldn't really understand much especially nd bloggers but as time passed by I learnt more and more. Even hopped on trends like the void for about an year, I kinda did succeed but wasn't able to materialize anything out of it. At the start of this year, seeing how unstable i was becoming, I decided to drop the methods, the expectations, the waiting and it sort of went on for few months until something really traumatic happened with me and even tho its been months I'm still not able to get out of it. At first, I thought okay this is the time to manifest everything altogether and not get used to my 3d but i couldn't change shit. I will not get into too much details but my privacy was violated and someone went through my ipad which was the only device i used and now im left with trauma, deleted data which im dying to get back, and loss of only source of security and comfort. Ik this question seems very silly to you and i look like a newbie who still doesn't know anything about the law but trust me when i say this, I've read multiple posts from bloggers like you, tried my best to detach, let go of vanessa and whatnot. Kelly recommended some exercises to me to process trauma and all and i did all that but the loop of embarrassment and shame continues. I really can't even imagine continuing this version of life rn. Pls suggest what can i do to deal with all this and wake up as "lara" in a whole another world

give up "lara". you're postponing your peace + happiness into the future. (also peace and happinness is within you NOW, not the "3d")

The past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of "salvation," of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions... As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out of present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love - even the most simple action. Eckhart Tolle

it might be horrible to hear right now, but the future will not save you. all you are doing is waiting and avoiding yourself (this is what keeps you stuck).

if you're feeling stuck, that just means you're feeding yourself the same reality over and over again (the same story, thoughts, feelings, perspectives, etc.) heavenlythea

you said you've read my posts? have you looked at this one? i recommend going back to kellys exercises, it'd be best to get to a neutral feeling first.

"something really traumatic happened with me and even tho its been months I'm still not able to get out of it. At first, I thought okay this is the time to manifest everything altogether"

grasping for control through manifestation just doesn't work.

you haven't dealt with these emotions so they keep coming back. i suggest you read the first chapters of letting go by david hawkins, or if you can't be bothered read this from kelly. i also want you to look through the way of rest by jeff foster. (i really suggest you read this!)

you haven't given yourself any rest period, you went straight into trying to force an outcome. give it up, the body-mind cannot do the work of god that you want. (the body-mind doesn't do anything, it can't. the Self is already perfect and "doing" everything. all you can do is let it. let it be.)

emotions will come up and leave by themselves - if you find them stuck, then investigate why.

e.g. what are you seeking with lara? is there any more emotions underneath the embarrassment and shame? is this a desire of approval, safety or control - can you let it go?

"Kelly recommended some exercises to me to process trauma and all and i did all that but the loop of embarrassment and shame continues."

this shows that you haven't changed how you respond to the emotions.

the more persistant emotions will leave once you understand your relation to them. once you realise that emotions can be there without it meaning anything about you, or meaning that the worst is to come - they leave naturally. if you are not the feelings and thoughts, then you cannot be hurt by them. you can stop avoiding them. you are safe to let them go.

if you approach the embarrasment with the understanding that you are not the body-mind then it becomes small. embarrasment is completely fine to be there, and nothing is forever. you don't need so and so to be complete as you are. you don't have to be embarrassed if all is Self, theres no one to look upon you and judge - except you. forgive yourself and move on.

why torture yourself with judgment and expectations?

if you really know the law or nd, then return to the basics and give up the rest.

if you really must keep manifesting, then i suggest ONLY thisdreamplace. stop consuming multiple blogs and start working by yourself.

(i really just regurgitated this post unknowingly - please go and read it anon, all the answers are already here. but you have to start.)

[4dkellysworld]

grateful Lain is still here 🙏🏻

Anon, to break the loop of negative emotions, you need to identify the root causes: it generally boils down to underlying (usually hidden and unconscious) belief(s) or your perspectives about the trauma or issue. You need to identify what they are and then release and/or change them so they stop generating and driving the negative emotions - essentially change your mind on what it all means. This requires honest and deep self investigation and self inquiry. I think I've already covered how to on my blog before but if not, ask Aster GPT - hopefully she's still good, haven't used her in a while.

[4dkellysworld]

GOD

I finally met God. It's completely real, not a concept or something made up to soothe suffering egos. God is almighty, loving, kind, innocent, generous and selfless. To know God is the greatest thing ever and nothing else in the dream compares no matter how perfect it seems; there is no greater joy, bliss, wonder, love, contentment, excitement and satisfaction than knowing and being in communion with God.

God is always here, always ready to help but we get in our own way and block God when we try to fix and control things. To the degree there is no ego involvement or identity, to that degree you will receive and recognise God's grace.

So how did it happen? I lay everything down in surrender and forgot about it, even "I AM". "I AM" is still a reference of identity and is not God because God is self-less, there is no self in God. I thought I had realised my "Self" before but that was "I AM".

To meet God, you must forget about any "Self"; just be and see everything as impersonal and neutral. To do this is to see through the eyes of God.

To see God, you must become God. You are meeting yourself. 🤍

[4dkellysworld]

[4dkellysworld]

What's true is always true, it doesn't change and can't be lost. When nothing is true or known, what remains?

[4dkellysworld]

Consider that maybe the reason you can't shift or manifest what you want is because you still see a separation and difference between imagination/perception (mind), dream and reality and don't trust that you are the only Creator (not ego but God/Awareness) and Source of your world. You might have learned the concepts and maybe even accepted it intellectually but you don't directly see these mechanisms as absolute therefore you doubt, waver and get anxious when things don't appear. Really really let that sink in.. Because if you did, you would no longer need to try to get or make it happen anymore, you would just BE it. Really think about it and try to understand.. you're trying to squeeze out some manifestations while your foundational understanding* of who you are and how the mind/dream/reality operates is flawed. It's like trying to drive a car with the brakes on. Focus on correcting the foundation, and then things become much easier.

*understanding is not the same as accepting an intellectual concept.. it starts with the realization that it is true. Direct experience is best. Next would be meditating on these things and just sitting in silence and stillness. And most of all just remaining rooted in this knowing

[4dkellysworld]

If you're feeling stuck and frustrated, try just throwing out everything you ever learned on this path and then just sitting with yourself in silence and asking yourself what feels good and true in your heart. Follow that. Just remember that everyone who ever has something to say is only speaking from their own perspective & understanding no matter what they claim. Eventually it just becomes all noise and extra shackles and rules if you don't know your own truth.

You have to find your own way to your truth, maybe it includes some things you found along the path and maybe it's things you figured out for yourself that works for you, either way is fine. But when you get too lost in looking outwards for answers, everything becomes noisy and confusing and in the midst of that, you forget to listen to and trust your own inner truth - you've given up your own agency and authority. Now it's just become additional bondage where you're trying to make what others say fit into your own experience and when it doesn't, you might question what's wrong with you when there's nothing wrong.

This "journey" is the most personal one you will have, there's no objective right way to do it, no singular practice where 1+1=Self-realisation - if this were the case, then there would not be so many who are lost in the illusion, and there would not be people who realised their Self through unconventional means outside spiritual teachings.

Just remember, your Self will never lead you astray.

In the stillness comes a knowing - unknown

[4dkellysworld]

🐈‍⬛ 4dkelly's handy dandy notebook 🐶🐾

Here's a list of some answers/posts I wrote (and a few from others) that may be useful. Keep in mind that my answers and suggestions are based on my own understanding and experiences and are not absolute so it may not fit your experience. As I keep saying: only take what resonates and discard the rest, don't accept what I say unless you want to since perception creates reality and you decide what's true. If it doesn't feel right, then trust that and find what does!

📌 Important

How to overcome trauma that I can't ignore or see as unreal?

Advice for those with hard circumstances

What to do when everything's gone wrong?

Why clearing the subconscious can be helpful

Why spiritual practice is important

Practice exercise for releasing emotions

Mind purification is necessary for the restless mind Part 2

General advice on how to detach and let go

Isn't having your desires and self-realization contradictory?

Lester Levenson's self-realization story

Forgiveness for letting go

Self-realization vs derealization

🦄 Troubleshooting

Dealing with ego fears and balance between active purification and allowing things to be

Dealing with problems

More on fears, thoughts and problems

Releasing fears (second part of the answer)

What if I can't observe consistently?

I got caught back into identifying with the dream

I can disidentify with the bad but not the good

If life itself is meaningless then what's the point in anything?

I've been telling myself I'm not the body/mind but nothing is working

I get brain fog and it makes awareness feel hazy

"I don't feel like I can go on, any advice?"

How to realize Self if ego is so busy all the time? I don't feel able to drop ego

I'm afraid of failing to realize Self

I'm afraid of letting go Part 2

Can death lead you to a desired reality?

I think I've overconsumed information

🧚🏻‍♀️ Practical Guidance

Recommended reading for beginners

How to change a memory that you've given reality to & can't see as unreal or let go of

Practice suggestions for letting go of ego

How to drop habits and tendencies?

About observing thoughts

A way to deal with negative, intrusive or scary thoughts

A way to release the mind from feeling stuck or trapped

From Aster: How to live without holding onto a personal story

How to get full conviction that I am not the body?

What I (Kelly) did to quiet the mind

What helped things click for Kelly

The short path - abiding as Self

The value of mind purification: what is best? Allowing, ignoring, investigating/dropping thoughts?

How to know if I've dropped a thought or belief?

When you let go of desire while still believing in lack

How to live knowing you are not the body/mind?

Will any practice work for me and lead me to self-realization?

"Life lessons"...? Stop believing you are the victim

Read if you believe that you are powerless to circumstances

🤖 Conceptual Understanding

About dropping ego concepts

What is the Self?

How do I find or see my Self??

What does dropping limitations mean?

Being aware of awareness?

Does everyone have their own reality?

On using AI for spiritual reflection

Is it enough to just remind yourself you're not the body/mind?

Couldn't I just shift to a reality where I'm fully realized? Why bother with any practices?

Can I realize Self without doing anything?

Can I realize Self without knowing what it is?

Why realize Self at all, why bother?

Is I AM the final truth? Can I know what I am?

The point of self-inquiry

Isn't self-realization something that happens outside of our control?

Isn't the consciousness just within our brain? Part 2

On chasing material things for happiness over Self-realization

Is there a right or wrong way to do this?

🌈 More "LOA" type questions: I filed some posts on this topic here

From awarenessis: The underlying mechanism of manifesting/shifting

See realisophie's posts on this: here and here

I keep affirming but why isn't anything working?

It's been ages and my manifestation still hasn't showed up

I'm tired of not having my desires

I haven't been able to change the dream..

Not being able to ignore the 3D when manifesting..

Self-realization and manifesting, are they opposed?

Why do things happen easily when we don't care about it anymore?

🦋 Other helpful stuff from books:

What is ego?

TW: Addressing suicide and the cycle of life

Balancing life duties with spirituality

Only hold onto 'I AM'

The essence of healing

How to move mountains

Mastering your mind

Do not want, simply choose

Thought is Creation

Even Buddha had fears that he faced

Stop it and Just Be

Excessive interest leads to self-identification

[4dkellysworld]

Hi Kelly! There's something that happened to me over 5 years ago that I still want to revise, because it feels so wrong, but I have already accepted it as real and I don't know how to undo that. I tried healing from it, moving on, but I still wish to erase this specific event. I also tried one of your exercises (I can't remember its name) and no particularly intense emotions came up. I kinda just see it as factual and I can't seem to be able to treat it any other way. But it also just feels wrong, still. Like this isn't how things are supposed to be. And daydreaming about what could've been, how things would've went differently, if this one event never took place, feels so easy and right. I feel like I'm so close but so far at the same time and it's really frustrating. I don't know how to approach this, any helped would be appreciated. And sorry for being vague, I just don't want to share anything too personal.

Hi, I recommend reading the Warning and Step 4 from this answer first.

I want you to keep in mind that everything else is irrelevant except your own perspective (thoughts, feelings, viewpoint etc) within your mind about everything and that's what we're working to change through these steps.

We're working with the above premise. I'm going to assume this ISN'T a memory that will trigger or traumatize you again if you bring it up. If it is, then just follow the steps in that linked ask or see a professional. Okay I've actually done this before. I basically made up my own way of rewriting the memory because it's all made up anyway so you can literally do it however you want, basically do it however it will allow your mind to click and see it as actual.

The mind is like a computer, you can install new programs and coding or change/delete existing ones - this is how I view the mind conceptually (or like a garden.. you can plant/replace flowers or remove weeds yadida). I'm just going to throw a bunch of suggestions on how to do this but remember its not the method that makes it work but you - so feel free to modify or even make up your own - it can be as silly and absurd or as serious and sacred as you want it to be, it's all imaginary anyway (but see it as actually changing your mind) including your current memory so it can work. It can take multiple repetitions for it to be completely neutralized so just keep at it with whatever method you prefer or even mix and match multiple.

There's one memory I wiped out (it wasn't really traumatic but it was really unpleasant and filled with regret and other negative emotions) and when I think back on it now, I sort of just see it as a "quantum" memory because it's not fixed - it's like nothing really happened but also anything and everything could have happened depending on how I choose to see it. It's just like.. an empty space of pure potential. If I wanted to, I could bring up the old memory to mind but I no longer saw it as objectively real which was the point - like it's just one version but there's infinite possible versions. (This was before I had the realisation that the world is just my dream within mind so nothing is objectively real anyway and once you realise this, there isn't really a need to go back and do this with any memory - but having a realisation of this is different to the mind "knowing" just from reading about it! So if you haven't yet had this realisation, then this practice is perfect (I like to call it mental alchemy hah, I made that up! Like my cloud burger technique, it's so made up and I love it)). Anyway, from the empty space, you can insert a new memory if you like. Just imagine it how you like and decide that's how it went.

Turn the memory into a comedy drama episode: Use ChatGPT to dramatize the memory into a reality tv confessional episode (this isn't good for very traumatic memories but works well for like the cringey awkward ones). The point is to make it so absurd you can't help but laugh and you naturally let go a bit (or entirely) this way because it gives you a different perception of the memory you held and helps you lighten up and not see it so seriously anymore. /// Just tell ChatGPT or Aster "Turn the below into a funny and absurd reality tv confessional sitcom episode." and follow it with a recount of the memory, typing it up is a bit of a chore but the laughs that follow are worth it

Scramble the memory by accepting multiple alternate memories as equally real and true: You can start with remembering/viewing/reading the real memory then repeat it by changing details and each time you read the new script, see it as reading a factual recount of what happened. Each time you could just be changing a small detail, whatever is incrementally enough for you to accept it as the now actual version but not too much that the mind would rebel. Keep going until the final version is how you like it. OR you could accept multiple versions as being simultaneously true.. they ALL exist and happened because everything exists all at once here and now.. well then which one is the REAL one...? But then actually none of them cos they can't ALL be true from Vanessa's point of view...? So when you get to this point you see none of it as actually true, you're left with empty space to fill with what you want the memory to be instead. My commentary: I did this by accident.. I kept telling ChatGPT to give me a rewritten memory (told it what happened then asked it to rewrite it to take out the unpleasant parts) but it kept getting the story wrong - it kept the unpleasant parts for most of the versions and I kept getting annoyed and frustrated like NO that's not how it goes!! And I read through like 30 wrong versions of how it happened which was so mentally tiring that by the end of it the mind was so scrambled from all those different versions one after the other that nothing stuck as the objective one anymore lol. But I don't recommend asking ChatGPT to write it for you like I tried, if you go ahead anyway you do so at your own peril... Though it might be funny...? Who knows. But yeah you can also just do it in your mind's eye directly or write the memory script out yourself although this can get tedious/tiresome

Mentally relive the memory and then visually see it become more and more hazy or become white noise or like you're the one that's neutralizing the memory thoughts itself from the mind: This is similar to Step 4 from that linked answer, you're essentially scrambling the "data" to make it obsolete or wiping/deleting it. Do it like you're commanding the mind to perform this task for you much like entering a command into a terminal (it might not work at first but if you trust that you can harness your mind to work for you, it will)

Write a personal diary or journal entry of what happened the way you prefer it as if it really happened and then read it as the factual recount of what happened

Bonus:

For #2 and #3, I think it will work even better if for some of the rewrites (keep some of them plausible but all equally real and true), you turn it into something illogical that doesn't fit the mind's "matrix" while looking at it as actual and real, just like with the cloud burger technique (this works because everything is just a thought! So you can use thought to erase or overwrite thought!). You could slowly add illogical, weird, absurd, silly elements while seeing it as equally true and real (e.g. turn someone you had conflict with into a giant pikachu in your memory or something, I dunno. Get creative! Have fun). Make it funny cos laughing helps you see it as unserious. Do this enough times and the memory really becomes like neutral goo. And when this happens, it's very easy to discard, replace or simply ignore 😸

If you already have a symbol or object that you associate with cleansing, deleting or anything, use that to "clean" up the memory. Like a vacuum cleaner that you use to visually clean up the memory scene or whatever lol. It all can work because it's all within the mind - it's all imaginary, it's all thought!

Of course, if any negative or undesirable emotions come up, just release as they come up then continue on

You can even ask Aster or ChatGPT for ideas on how to do this if the above ideas don't feel right or just straight up create your own. Honestly, writing this out was a little weird cos I literally made up these techniques for myself hahaha. I guess that's what manifesting and reality shifting techniques are too, huh? They're all made up and it's just a matter of whether it clicks with your mind or not.

Anyway, I hope that gives you an idea of how you can go about changing a memory that you've given reality to but can't ignore/dismiss and maybe inspire you to come up with your own method that's going to work for you!

[4dkellysworld]

how has your dream been going after realisation of self? is it as effortless as what they make it out to be? i understand this is probably stemming from the fear of losing control, even though the very act of holding onto control is "self"- poisoning but still, I hope you can provide some insight because i think for me its getting to a point where i feel hopeless and i just want it give up fully, fully surrending but fear is holding me back, making me feel that if i do that everything would go to shit and my worst fears would come true

Did you send in this ask back in Feb last year?? It's like the same question haha. Control is an illusion.. can ego really control anything or is it just going along with whatever happens? What exactly are you afraid of, what are your worst fears? Investigate into what these are and why they exist in your mind then drop them all.

I can vaguely remember feeling the fear back when I started but now that I've dropped ego identification, I can't even remember what I was so afraid of. It was basically just made up fears of all these what if scenarios that weren't even real (not even in the relative sense where things are either real or fake). When you let go of ego, the ego still continues, the dream still continues... you just know it's not you/yours or real (you don't become a vegetable.. this was one of Vanessa's silly ego fears before lol). You don't cease being when you drop ego. You stop taking appearances as reality and that freedom is just so precious and invaluable. Sure, even if the dream isn't perfect to the ego, it's still all just an appearance and you know you remain untouched no matter what's playing. There's nothing to fear..

But you can't force or fake surrender/letting go, if you try to then it's not actually surrender/letting go. So you can just continue on with practices until you come to a point where you decide you're done with it and drop it.

[4dkellysworld]

Hi kelly i have two questions that I can't seem to find an answer for:

1. Whenever I self inquire, it goes like this "to whom the thoughts are happening to" or "who is thinking these thoughts", and then I go "me" or "I" then I follow up with a "who am I" and then it just goes all silent like I can't go any deeper than that because I do not know who am I and the questioning stops there I can't go further

How do I go further than who am i?

2. Isn't surrending or giving up fully so that we wouldn't be a slave to our desires/the world also another desire so to speak? So isn't this also an act of fulfilling a desire? Or is that misunderstanding on my part?

Thank you.

Hey,

I remember getting confused by this myself when I first started out lol. Then I just threw away self-inquiry cos it felt like a waste of time then :P Now I use it as just a reminder of who I am. Like if I find myself getting a little too drawn back into the dream again, I'll go 'who am I?' as in 'am I this mind/body that is upset?' and it's obviously no and then I'll just go back to resting as the witness, I don't go 'I am the witness' because that is also ultimately untrue. I think you'd benefit from reading this - ultimately our real Self is unknowable, you can only know what you are through what you are not. So yes, it's supposed to end in silence and it's not something for the mind to try to find or create an answer, the silence itself is the point - the mind is silent and you abide in Self and simply BE - there's no need to go further than this, if you can remain in this beingness consistently, things will happen on their own. The more you rest in this beingness, the more things will just effortlessly click; understanding and knowing comes on its own with no cause from the mind - its inexplicable but oh so simple.

Yes and no? Depends how you want to look at it because everything in this world is just made from perception. If you see it as a desire, then see it as the one desire you hold onto to end all desires and this is fine. You use the ladder to climb up until you're at the top and no longer need it, this is what that is (same with holding onto I AM and rejecting all else). But to me, desire is born from lack while surrendering and giving up is a choice - so I don't see this as a desire at all

[4dkellysworld]

Heyy.

I have read a lot of posts on ND now I just got to know about it a week before. But I am having problem dropping this ego and story as when I notice the ego Is reacting I feel like I feel like I only affirm (as ego) instead of knowing or seeing that "this ain't my story and that's ain't my true self". And it feels like a chore and only makes me think what to do. Idk but I am not able to apply the knowledge I have and I have been getting more and more confused.

Hey, I answered a similar ask on this a while back here. You affirm and it feels like a chore because you do not know you aren't the ego so essentially you're just uttering empty words. Affirmations only "work" based on what you know (look for the meaning you assign the words, not the words themselves), in this case it's supposed to be a reminder of what you are not. This answer here might also be helpful for giving you some perspective. The realization that "I am not the body or mind" comes by itself through spiritual practice, it isn't something you will actually truly *know* through intellectualisation alone. Re-examine your practices and find something else that will help you detach from ego concepts first. Things like witnessing, self-inquiry and what you did is what's called the "short path" of abiding as the Self but for many people, some (or a lot of) preparatory stage is required to dissolve some ego first. If it's not working for you, don't force it. Find what practices will help and apply those until you are ready. I suggest reading Lester Levenson's book Keys to the Ultimate Freedom, it might help you.

[4dkellysworld]

hiii!!! 💗💗💗💗

can you tell me if my beliefs on nd is right or wrong? im new & i just wanna make sure :))

⋆ okay, the "everything is you / separation is an illusion" statement:

all this means is that the separate things we see around us, including ourselves as separate people, don’t really exist on their own or forever. they might seem solid and separate, but that feeling of being separate is actually something our mind creates. in Sanskrit, this idea is called maya. it’s like a kind of “veil” that makes us see everything as divided and separate, hiding the truth that everything is actually one. when people say “everything and everyone is you,” what they really mean is that there isn’t actually separate consciousnesses out there. we all come from the same source , which is **one** universal awareness or consciousness. there is only one!!! thats why people say "everyone is you" because you originate from the same ONE thing. that doesn’t mean you have the same brain as everyone else or that you’re responsible for what other people do (lmao dont worry). It also doesn’t mean we all think the same things. we're not npc's. our brains, bodies, life experiences, memories, cultures, and personalities shape how this one awareness shows up and thinks through each of us. imagine consciousness like the ocean, and each of us like a wave on that ocean. each wave looks different and moves differently, but it’s all just water. different waves focus on different parts of the ocean, so their views are different, but they’re all part of the same ONE ocean. that’s what people mean when they say we’re not really separate. it means we all come from the same source. that one source is the ONE thing, but it has many expressions (that’s us), and those expressions experience different things. there is only one Being, one Knowing, one Awareness that is appearing as many. You do not “have” awareness. you are awareness.

⋆ now onto the "everything is "fake" statement:

what’s truly real (in non-duality) must be unchanging and always present. and the only thing that is unchanging and always present is consciousness/awareness. that’s it. that’s all that is real. now, since that’s the only thing non-duality defines as real, that means everything else (the world, people, events, thoughts, objects, emotions, even your sense of identity) is considered “fake” (or illusory) in the absolute sense. why? because all of it comes and goes. and anything that comes and goes can’t be the ultimate truth of who or what you are. that’s why it’s an illusion. or as we’re calling it here, fake. the reason these forms aren’t “real” in the non-dual sense is because they’re always changing. everything is FLUID. like i said before, the only thing that doesn’t shift, fade, or break down is awareness itself. everything that appears (the world, body, mind, ego, etc.) is not ultimately real, because it is: impermanent (it doesn’t last), dependent (it relies on awareness to even appear), and not separate from that awareness. but that doesn’t mean life is meaningless or should be ignored! that’s not what i’m saying. you can absolutely enjoy life and this silly little illusion. it just means that everything you experience is a fluid expression of consciousness. please really get what i just said: FLUID (not fixed) EXPRESSION (appearance, movement, forms, events) OF CONSCIOUSNESS (meaning it’s you — since you are consciousness, and consciousness is you, then you are everything appearing as everything). so everything you see, feel, think, or experience is a temporary, changing appearance within the one unchanging awareness/consciousness that you are. hopefully that made sense lmao. now anyways, because everything is always changing and flowing, yes, that means you’re able to create or manifest whatever you want. you can experience literally anything. but when I say manifest, it might sound like you’re trying to go get something new. but actually, you’re not getting anything. it’s already there. it already exists. you just become aware of it. and things are only real when you become aware of them is because awareness is the only thing not appearing inside something else. everything else is just a fluid appearance in awareness. they dont stand alone. things might not seem to change or feel fluid to some people because they assume or believe that reality is fixed. so that’s the kind of reality they experience. (self-fulfilling illusion lol.) since you are consciousness/awareness, and everything you’re aware of right now is fluid as fawkkkk, then yes — you can become aware of whatever you want. you are the dreamer, not the dream. you are the awareness, not the appearance.

Hey, you're on the right track. And it's fine to hold onto the identity of the dreamer/I AM (so everything else can drop away) until that too is dropped later on (this isn't something you can force, it will just happen naturally). I would say don't worry too much about it now and focus on applying what you've learned but just know that it isn't the final truth which is ultimately unknowable and beyond the mind. Sometimes I will answer asks pointing people to just sit and be to experience pure being because that's what feels most appropriate to what they need but it isn't the absolute final "truth". Also don't try too hard to intellectually understand this... it won't get you closer to realization and will just become mental gymnastics. But I'll share some words from Nisargadatta Maharaj that might help you understand this:

The reward of self-knowledge is freedom from the personal self. You cannot know the knower, for you are the knower. The fact of knowing proves the knower. You need no other proof. The knower of the known is not knowable. Just like the light is known in colours only, so is the knower known in knowledge. (360) Just as every drop of the ocean carries the taste of the ocean, so does every moment carry the taste of eternity. Definitions and descriptions have their place as useful incentives for further search, but you must go beyond them into what is undefinable and indescribable, except in negative terms. (413) Relatively, yes [there can be true knowledge of things]. Absolutely, there are no things. To know that nothing is, is true knowledge. (359) You can not know perfection, you can know only imperfection. For knowledge to be, there must be separation and disharmony. You can know what you are not, but you can not know your real being. You can be only what you are. The entire approach is through understanding, which is in the seeing of the false as false. The discovery of truth is in the discernment of the false. You can know what is not. What is - you can only be. Knowledge is relative to the known. In a way, it is the counterpart of ignorance. Where ignorance is not, where is the need of knowledge? By themselves, neither ignorance nor knowledge have being. They are only states of mind, which again is but an appearance of movement in consciousness. (370) There is no such state as seeing the real. Who is to see what? You can only be the real, which you are, anyhow. The problem is not mental. Abandon false ideas, that is all. There is no need of true ideas. There aren't any. (359-60) You must unlearn everything. God is the end of all desire and knowledge. (336) Now I know nothing, for all knowledge is in dream only and not valid. I know myself and I find no life nor death in me, only pure being, not being this or that, but just being. (261) At present your being is mixed up with experiencing. All you need is to unravel being from the tangle of experiences. Once you have known pure being, without being this or that, you will discern it among experiences and you will no longer be misled by names and forms. Self-limitation is the very essence of personality. (206) Most of the people vegetate, but do not live. They merely gather experiences and enrich their memory. But experience is the denial of Reality, which is neither sensory nor conceptual, neither of the body nor of the mind, though it includes and transcends them both. (318) There is no such thing as the experience of the real. The real is beyond experience. All experience is in the mind. You know the real by being the real. (438) All experience is illusory, limited and temporal. Expect nothing from experience. Realization by itself is not an experience, though it may lead to a new dimension of experiences. Yet the new experiences, however interesting, are not more real than the old. Definitely realization is not a new experience. It is the discovery of the timeless factor in every experience. It is awareness, which makes experience possible. Just like in all the colours light is the colourless factor, so in every experience awareness is present, yet it is not an experience. (403)

Begin from the beginning: give attention to the fact that you are. At no time can you say " I was not". All you can say is "I don't remember". You know how unreliable is memory. Accept that, engrossed in petty personal affairs, you have forgotten what you are; try to bring back the lost memory through the elimination of the known. You cannot be told what will happen, nor is it desirable; anticipation will create illusions. In the inner search, the unexpected is inevitable; the discovery is invariably beyond all imagination. Just as an unborn child cannot know life after birth, for it has nothing in its mind with which to form a valid picture, so is the mind unable to think of the real in terms of the unreal, except by negation: "Not this, not that". The acceptance of the unreal as real is the obstacle; to see the false as false and abandon the false brings reality into being. (513) First realize your own being. This is easy because the sense "I am" is always with you. Then meet yourself as the knower, apart from the known. Once you know yourself as pure being, the ecstasy of freedom is your own. (520) Don't talk of means, there are no means. What you see as false, dissolves. It is the very nature of illusion to dissolve on investigation. Investigate - that is all. You cannot destroy the false, for you are creating it all the time. Withdraw from it, ignore it, go beyond, and it will cease to be. (455) Do not try to know the truth, for knowledge by the mind is not true knowledge. But you can know what is not true, which is enough to liberate you from the false. The idea that you know what is true is dangerous, for it keeps you imprisoned in the mind. It is when you do not know that you are free to investigate. And there can be no salvation without investigation, because non-investigation is the main cause of bondage. (457-8) Keep very quiet and watch what comes to the surface of the mind. Reject the known, welcome the so far unknown and reject it in its turn. Thus you come to a state in which there is no knowledge, only being, in which being itself is knowledge. To know by being is direct knowledge. It is based on the identity of the seer and the seen. Indirect knowledge is based on sensation and memory, on proximity of the perceiver and his percept, confined with the contrast between the two. (486) How do you know that you do not know your self? Your direct insight tells you that yourself you know first, for nothing exists without your being there to experience its existence. You imagine you do not know your self, because you cannot describe your self. You can only say: "I know that I am" and you will refuse as untrue the statement "I am not". But whatever can be described cannot be your self, and what you are cannot be described. You can only know your being by being yourself without any attempt at self-definition and self-description. Once you have understood that you are nothing perceivable or conceivable, that whatever appears in the field of consciousness cannot be your self, you will apply yourself to the eradication of all self-identification, as the only way that can take you to a deeper realization of your self. (517-8) So many words you have learnt, so many you have spoken. You know everything, but you do not know yourself. For the self is not known through words, only direct insight will reveal it. Look within, search within. (514)

from I AM THAT by Nisargadatta Maharaj

[4dkellysworld]

Okay okay my mail is open again cos one of you asked.. Get your questions in before I close up shop and go back on vacay lol (I'm feeling possibly soon-ish? So if you have a question, please submit it within the next 2 1 days)

P.S. I'm working on putting together a summary index list of asks and posts I wrote that might be helpful. Should help while I'm gone 😇

Edit: closed asks cos the list took a lot of time and I'm ready for vacay after answering the last ask 🧜🏻‍♀️

[4dkellysworld]

hi kelly

im not new to ND and i at one point think i realised self

but then the dream got too real and then i think im back to being the human again

its like this never ending loop of seeking desires, something happens, i give up, i get my motivation back, i do something to attain soemthing, and then something happens and the cycle repeats itself

the thing is though i think this time round its different its like i just dont want anything anymore? like i genuinely give up like of course i still care about shifting and my DR but its like at the same time i just give up? i hope i make sense

do you have any advice?

thank you

I think it's best to share the words of others here as many come to mind.

The mundane life is like a treadmill. It may go round and round, but still you are in the same place. Please do not live this mundane life simply waiting for death. The worst habit is that of mundane worldly life. It is called the "greatest addiction." By force of this addiction to worldly life, Paramatman is made to believe that He is an individual, and is compelled to live a worldly life as if in prison. All bad habits can be dropped, but the addiction to mundane life is the most difficult to drop. - Siddharameshwar Maharaj (Nisargadatta's Guru!)

The problem is excessive interest, leading to self-identification. Whatever you are engrossed in you take to be real. Just see the person you imagine yourself to be as a part of the world you perceive within your mind and look at the mind from the outside, for you are not the mind. After all, your only problem is the eager self-identification with whatever you perceive. Give up this habit, remember that you are not what you perceive, use your power of alert aloofness. - Nisargadatta Maharaj

You’re trying to correct something. You’re trying to become something. You’re trying to do something. And something does not exist. Also, what you’re trying to correct does not exist. What you’re trying to change does not exist. You get nowhere. This is why I tell you so often, leave everything alone. Have no opinion for or against. Do not be judgmental. Be nothing and you’ll be everything. - Robert Adams

You begin to practice this but life interferes. Things happen. You get caught up again and again in maya, the grand illusion. You take things seriously. You think the world has something to offer you because all sorts of good things begin to happen in your life. And then of course, it reverses itself and there is a death in the family again or you lose your position you've had for twenty years. You go into bankruptcy. So again you begin to inquire and you run back to the teacher. The teacher tells you, "Do not react to conditions. Do not pay attention to the things of this world. Your body will do the work it came here to do. It has nothing to do with you. Whether you're in bankruptcy or you're a millionaire, whether you're sickly or well and whole, whether you live in a hut or in a castle, do not take these things seriously. But rather keep turning within. Go deeper. Dive deeper than you've ever dove before. Whatever happens to you in this world, simply observe. For the truth is that the substratum of all existence is love, harmony. There is nothing in the universe that wants to destroy you or hurt you. It is simply maya." The water in the mirage, that is maya; something that appears to be real, but upon investigation you find it's not. The whole world is like that. The whole universe is like that. Do not be fooled again. Do not take anything seriously. Turn within. Do not react. And vehemently make up your mind to go deeper this time, and not get lost in maya again. - Robert Adams

To "fix" the separation, reject what you are not. Only look at who you are, over and over and over until it becomes the permanent identification and replaces the ego. - 4dbarbie

Surrender completely - Perfect surrender is when you give up everything, everything to God including your body. Do what you want with me. Do what you want with my body, with my mind, with my affairs, with everything. Not my will but thine. If you can surrender like this you're already free. Try it, it's hard, because you're afraid what will happen after you do that. You believe everything will be taken away from you. This is human thinking. Stop being human. Surrender yourself and become totally free. - Robert Adams

Let go of everything. Do not hold on. Stand naked before God, without any crutches, without anything to hold on to. When you can do this, from this moment on you will begin to rise. And you will become aware that you are not the body or the mind or the world or the universe, but you are effortless, choiceless, Pure Awareness. You are boundless space, infinite like the sky. You have become everything, and everything has become you. There comes a time in everyone’s life when they have to stand naked before God. By standing naked I mean no scripture, no fancy words, no preconceived ideas, no spiritual intellectual knowledge. But to be totally naked, in humility and humbleness. Therefore when you can forget about your scripture, forget about everything you’ve learned, and become totally empty, you will then become full. - Robert Adams

There is really nothing to say. Words are superfluous. The only reason I use words is so you can detect the silence in the words. Silence is truth. You cannot explain truth in words. The words become meaningless, redundant. The truth comes to you of its own free will when you prepare yourself through deep surrender to yourself, giving up all attachment, giving up your body, your mind, and everything that's important to you, to the Self. As long as you're holding on to anything, the reality will evade you. The reality only comes when you give up yourself, when you give up your ego, when you give up your needs, your wants, trying to make something happen, desires, when you give up trying to become self-realized, when you just give up. Then something wonderful happens. You begin to expand. Not your body, but the consciousness which you are. You become all-pervading, absolute reality. It happens by itself. - Robert Adams

And read this for a compilation of excerpts from Ramana Maharshi about balancing life duties with spirituality/self-realization.

If it's too much — move on from the topic for now and do something else with your life until you're ready to come back to Self realization again (because you will be back, the world can give you nothing of lasting value). - Soph <3

I think for me it really "progressed" when I really realized this on my own "the world can give you nothing of lasting value". The world and mind cannot draw you back in if you lose interest in it, stop identifying with what you perceive and cease believing in its reality. It cannot sell what you do not buy.

When they go to the extreme, like they did with me, it seems that only then are people shook up enough to re-question the entire thing, enough to see that the way that we are going is not the way, that our happiness does not lie in fame, fortune, and being loved. When things get to the extreme, they realize that those seeking those three things invariably end up in frustration and unhappiness. And then when they hit the extreme, there's only one way to go: not the way that they were going, looking for happiness in materiality, but to go within and question, "What is this all about?" Then they will discover what I discovered. - Lester Levenson