\m/

[4pedz]

There are just some things that you thought are turning out to be okay but they are all coming back from time to time. Not in a pleasant way.

Do I blame myself for forgiving too soon?

Didn’t I have have enough time to heal for myself?

I want to let everything go, but these things seem to be always just around the corner to hit me hard and put me on the ground.

Why do simple things keep me worrying and suspecting?

I don’t want to look naive but I want the whole truth.

I feel so pathetic everytime I check your phone.

How did I turn from someone who does not want to invade someone’s privacy into someone who is nosy?

I still keep tracing events from July until September when everything was still going great between the two of you. Or are still things great between you?

I gave you your freedom in those months or even more, but why can’t I have my solitude? Why can’t I have the time to think things through?

You might think that I am just overreacting, but I need to heal too!

I need time for myself. Just me.

Please let me go for now and let’s hope that this “alone time” would turn out to be for the better of the both of us, but if not, may God guide us.

[4pedz]

It still haunts me. Though, I know part of it was my fault, do I really have the right to be hurt and complain?

What’s the cure? How can I get out of this?

I could have just supported your decisions and let you both be happy, but it stings. The sting stinks.

Everytime we’re together everything just goes away. But at night and when we’re apart, everything comes back.

I hate this and I want to break free from this.

Could I be just pretending when I’m around you? Am I fooling myself, or am I fooling you?

All of it now stays in my head. Is this my punishment? Is this my unbiblical purgatory?

Could you tell me how I can recover?

I still got no directions. I have no clear path.

I’m still in pieces.  Do I really need help building up or should I do it all by myself? 

What if being away is the only way for me?

[4pedz]

King of the house

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[4pedz]

Kainis yung dating tumatawag sa’yo ng “kuya” supporter pala ni bibiboy hahahaha

Gaano pa kadami fans ng love team nila?

Tapos may Ivan pa?

[4pedz]

Some people say that sorry isn’t enough. The damage has been done and no words can take it all back. “Sorry” can’t erase the memories and these memories will linger from time to time if not forever.

Some people also say that those who forgive are too weak. Some say that those who forgive are stronger.

I am at loss, I cannot think straight, I do not know where to go, and some part of me don’t want to let go.

I can forgive but can I go back? What if I go back and things start to come back and haunt me again?

What is my assurance that this will not happen again? What if I am the fool?

No words can currently heal what I’m feeling right now. Would I ever be enough? Will I be really the only one?

Will I ever be able to bring my old self to the way who I was?

Could the same person who hurt me be the cure?

What if these memories continue to come back after I forgive? Could I be the same person? Will I ever be able to treat you the same way as before?

I know you want to help me but will that ever be enough? I also want to help you but will I ever be enough?

I’m at loss. I can’t think straight. I have got no direction.