Time Isn't Real, Relax

Does it matter? No Will I obsess over it? Of course

[delavegaaaaa]

“You can’t fix him” I don’t wanna fix him! I wanna FUCK him! I’m a pervert not a psychologist!

[mctreeleth]

they need to make a menstrual cup with a tap on the end. vampire fratboys should be able to do a keg stand off my vagina.

[mctreeleth]

thanks for the advice tumblr but this post doesn't actually need to be seen i'm just trying to unburden my soul of it like it's some sort of dark passenger i need to exorcise out

[ringmodulation-deactivated20250]

i dont have any "tinnitus" i have an angel who lives in my blood and she likes to sing songs for me. ok

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[fudamnshi]

”time heals all wounds” WRONG. it merely allows for infection.. it is Too late for me

[podcastwizard]

sorry boss can't come in today i was on my way to work and then a gentle spring breeze kissed my cheek and reminded me it is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world

[yandere-angela]

[segamascott]

[ozempicofficial]

[enjoloras-deactivated20220821]

Okay so Victorian erotica is literally the most heinous, morally bankrupt, horrific shit I've ever read - but I've read a fair bit, partly from historical interest but also because a while back I helped a friend with a university project she was doing about censorship and pornography in 19th century England.

Anyway I need to share with you all the most hilarious line that has ever been written, circa 1887:

[prokopetz]

I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.

[kingarniestar-deactivated202509]

me when im a flea

[cannibalchicken]

[mawofthemagnetar]

What do you mean “chat” is now referring to ChatGPT and not twitch chat? What? What? What the fuck? No?

When I address chat I am speaking to a presumed Greek chorus of real human people shitposting on their lunch break, not a machine that devours lakes to covert electricity into slop.

[rottencore]

This post keeps making me cry laughingg

[bunnying-182]

🔆

[monchursouls]

🌾🌾🌾

Harvesting my wheat

[rat-in-the-grain]

Hehehehehe

[monchursouls]

Can I fucking help you?

[sasuke-offical]

my senior english teacher told me that any scene with a woman in a cornfield in every piece of literature ever is about her journey to womanhood/pleasuring herself in the field and i just.... believed her

[monchursouls]

What

[rat-in-the-grain]

What

[endofalltim]

[eaytazy]

[wtf-scientific-papers]

Wang and Lai (2014)

[gemstone-gynoid]