dancing in darkness

<3

[6dancing-in-darkness6]

i chose to become your friend, but falling in love with you was something i had no control over

[6dancing-in-darkness6]

living without you;

[6dancing-in-darkness6]

at least in one point in time i was the girl you were waiting for.

[pol-ar-ity]

There wasn’t yelling. There wasn’t fighting. There wasn’t “fuck you” and “I never loved you” and “I’m not going to miss you.”

There were two tired hearts. Still beating, but no longer in sync. Four eyes that never seemed to meet at the same time. Twenty fingers that no longer entwined. Two pairs of lips that hadn’t met in months.

So we said goodbye. We said we’d keep in touch. We said “good luck,” and we meant it. And it hit me:

I spent so long being mad at you, that I forgot you were human, too. That we were both flawed. That I loved you, I loved you, I loved you.

I still do.

“i’m sorry for not realizing you were doing your best”

[6dancing-in-darkness6]

to all the things we said we’d do.

rest in peace to what we could have been. our love feels incomplete.

[6dancing-in-darkness6]

listening to the song that used to fill me with joy as i thought about how much i loved you now brings me deep pain and twisted nostalgia

[catarinehancock]

instagram: @evanescent.love

[6dancing-in-darkness6]

im sad what we had is over, but i dont want it back again.

i want a grounded healthy peaceful love. no more confusion and obsession and lies and tears. no more questioning everything. no more uncertainties. no more feeling worthless. no more extreme highs and lows.

im done.

[6dancing-in-darkness6]

what if he hates me the way i hate myself

[iguanamouth]

[destroymylife]

[6dancing-in-darkness6]

ive been too blinded by my own pain all these years to truly enjoy and appreciate life.

i am now beginning to feel life’s beauty.

[6dancing-in-darkness6]

sometimes, what feels like home is not where we should stay.

[6dancing-in-darkness6]

[6dancing-in-darkness6]

a glimpse of bliss

my mind is mainly chaos. i am always chasing and running and searching and falling. i am always in panic and pain.

but sometimes my mind becomes clear and the stillness within my existence is found, and for a moment i feel home again.

[6dancing-in-darkness6]

im used to hiding deep inside myself. to building walls around me and never letting anyone close. exposing my true self means possibly getting hurt. it means i could feel how i felt in my childhood. i was rejected, laughed at, not taken seriously, invalidated.

i protect that part of me now.

to never feel that way again.

i crave deep meaningful connections with others, but i dont give anyone a chance.

i am terrified of the thing i need most.

[6dancing-in-darkness6]

tangled in words with empty meaning