Okay I’m sick of this. Please listen up.
1) no I would never put a spike trap on my blog. I don’t want to catch any of you in my spike traps. Even if you are on the left hand path and trying to break into my base. That would be cruel of me, and I don’t want any of you getting hurt. You can expect no spike traps from me, and it will ALWAYS be like that. Not even on national spike trap day, the day that gets passed around in secret between villains.
2) I don’t even own spike traps. And if I did, I wouldn’t be placing them up on my blog. They’re very very expensive, and villains who own spike traps usually keep them far away from their evil blogs entry if heroes are entering anyway. Villains who DO leave spike traps right at the start of their blogs are usually involved in heavier crime than petty drama with their significant hero.
3) The most you’ll see from me are pitfall traps, but the variation with NO SPIKES. YES, there’s a NO SPIKE TRAP variation. No one ever seems to look for it, but it’s there. You can purchase them at the evil Walgreens for an even cheaper price! It keeps your rivals and heroes safe and allows them to continue traversing your puzzles safely. A mattress isn’t that expensive, and you can get one from a junkyard if you can’t afford it. IF YOU CANT PROVIDE A SAFE TRAP FOR YOUR HERO/RIVAL, THEN DON’T BE A VILLAIN.
4) STOP NORMALIZING putting ONLY spike traps around your ask box. STOP NORMALIZING teaming up on villains who don’t use the harsher variation of base traps. Stop calling them stupid soft guys! We are not stupid soft guys! It’s not a bad thing! We just don’t want our heroes and rivals to get seriously injured.
Thanks for reading. Continue evil posting.
Feel free to reblog this no matter what side you’re on.
Juice, spike traps are the only thing keeping the hero population down
Everybody wants to be a hero but most lack the skills- sure they have the supplies but the skill is what you need, we need to normalize spike traps so people know that heroing is hard and not some hobby like bird watching
No Jesus Christ this is exactly what the issue is. Some heroes were born to be heroes - it’s in their blood. They don’t have a choice. They were born into a family of good leaning people who are already heroes and they’re just living out their plot. We are actively making it harder for them to feel safe entering our puzzle fortresses for the first time. When fighting a hero, there has to be even ground. What’s the point if you strike down your hero right away? Do you think that will earn you villain points? NO. The evil starboard stickers get updated by the dark council monthly. They’re not even going to notice the amount of heroes you KILL. Only the ones you outwit.
OUTWITTING IS NOT KILLING.
Do you think another hero will just come around after that to stop your evil posting? After you showed such distaste with your spike traps??? I don’t care if this makes me “good leaning” or “soft hearted” or whatever political term other villains are going to pull in the comments today. I don’t lean any direction. I’m just myself. This isn’t about evil and good politics. This is about our lives. Heroes are seriously dying a LOT MORE now, and you all want to put on spiky red and black outfits and laugh at it? They chose YOU as their significant villain and you’re trying to seriously harm them.
That’s not villainy! That’s monstrous behavior.
“But I want to see my hero suffer” THERE’S LITERALLY 1000 OTHER WAYS TO DO THIS. IT’S LITERALLY IN THE VILLAIN HANDBOOK WE ALL GOT.
Hey, on the subject of the handbook...
Look, I realize we're villains and all, but do we have to restrict its availability to Microsoft OneDrive sharing? My AI minions all run on Linux and emulation gives them the hiccups.
Dear Undercaffeinated the Woeful,
Microsoft Onedrive was voted in the annual evil meetup as the most useful way to share the file. We don’t want any heroes getting their hands on it, everyone knows heroes only use Google docs. If you want your minions to work better may I suggest not using fucking Linux
Cav J. Doesthings, You are incorrect. The Evil Rulebook is now accessible on Google Docs. The council decided to update it do to the exact reason above your rude commentary. None of us are even close to heroes, no matter what accessibility we may require. Get your head out of your ass. Please keep updated. If this keeps up, you could be responsible for a level 2 violation. You are not in charge of giving directions authorized by the Evil Council. Direct your asks to me if you have further questions. I am verified. Cav is not. Link to the Evil Council Handbook for Google Docs:
VILLAINS ONLY.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oef0jbDVln0I0d4HKOM5MNrkgAEuvG2Qdp4knY9TWbQ/edit?usp=sharing
