A Mid 20’s Hellscape

Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville and welcome to Jackass

[literallyaflame]

how do conservatives think talking to children works? if a four year old came up to me and said “i’m a cat!!” i would say “really? what makes you a cat?” and they’d say some shit like “i have claws >:)” and i’d be like “oh wow, you do have claws. but wait, i thought cats had pointed ears!” and they’d say “they DO!!!” and then i’d pull up a picture of an elf and ask “is THIS a cat?” and they’d yell “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

u wouldn’t say “fucking hell, Emily, get it together. this is the real world”

[firefox-official]

i dont think a lobotomy would fix me i just think it would be fun

[firefox-official]

i go into the lobotomy room i come back out hours later zero change but i seem like i had a pretty good time

[thedankmemes]

[forkswashington]

[heartshapedbasil]

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

[maplebungus-deactivated20221118]

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

[dadbodbobby]

Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?

Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

[fuckdamn]

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

[vexwerewolf]

your man thinks caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

[10000bc]

if something is avoidable then you can bet your sweet ass that i’ll avoid it

[keow]

Realistically I could never get rid of tumblr because it gives me the illusion of a community of strange young women all around my same age, all slowly figuring out how to live too

[tilthat]

TIL that the Hoover Dam is expected to be one of the last remaining visible structures from our species, and it contains a star map that if no other means were available, could be used to determine the exact date on which Hoover Dam was completed.

via reddit.com

[daco-broman]

we could’ve just chisled in the fuckin date on it it’s not some stone age creation

[armedandgayngerous]

yhea because the squid people that inherit the earth will know when Christ was born

[skelegun]

They 👏 Will 👏 Be 👏 Catholic

[itznarcotic]

[astudyincontrasts]

[cockmcstuffins]

bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent

[wineyrose]

happy 3 yr anniversary to the post that singlehandedly launched the twilight renaissance

[swordshapedleaves]

Happy 5 year anniversary to the effervescent snail post

[reputayswift]

Is there a word for that like, “bright darkness” you get in winter?? When it’s been snowing or it’s supposed to snow past sunset and the sky isn’t Dark Enough. One of my favorite things

[reputayswift]

Thanks to @raindropwindow and a handful of articles, it’s called snow albedo, skyglow, snowglow, or just light scattering! It’s the result of moon- or artificial light reflecting off ground snow, low clouds, or ice crystals.

[ailurinae]

that nsfw snow…

[ashes2caches]

[heritageposts]

so how did it go? did crab day save tumblr or do we need to do a bake sale or something

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[thegirlwiththemooglehat]

this post aged like a fine wine

[huffylemon]

[nat-20s]

"what's your dream job??" Uhh to have 17 weird little hobbies that I don't have to be good at and hang out with friends. I get money via being the world's specialist little princess