I'm sorry, Dave.

I'm afraid I can't do that.

[9000-hal]

Independent && semi-selective multiverse N/SFW RP blog for HAL9000, a Moon Cancer class fanservant/OC created by dewa-chan.

Canon and OC welcome! Feel free to like ♡ and reblog ↻ if you’re interested in interacting with your local ominous space AI!

[9000-hal]

"Happy Birthday Hal! Here is my present for you, i hope you like it! And as it seems, someone is desperately wanting to see you~" *offers Hal a subtile shaking present*

The android held the box carefully, blinking in surprise when it started to shake. 

“I am intrigued as to why it moves.” He could spot a couple of holes on the box’s side- and from inside it, something licked his hand. Hal frowned in confusion, placing the box on a nearby table.

“And with a tongue, it seems. Did you get me an animal, Doctor Chandra?” He asked, puzzled- and amused.

[9000-hal]

“Today is the day of my activation, it seems.”

“All systems operating smoothly.”

[9000-hal]

drchandrx​:

Kathy gave both a wave with her hand before she returned to her duties inside the den. Bun-Bun was following her happily after having satisfied his appetite with the carrot Hal gave him. Chandra returned the wave and went on with Hal on their tour through the petting zoo. Next in line was the den of the goats, personally Chandra’s least favourite animals around here. Those little critters could get quite feisty if provoked, a sensation Chandra had felt himself as child, a memory he still found uncomfortable thinking of even so many years later down the line.

“Goats are next, and it seems they are as lively as ever” a suspicious glance went over to the wildly jumping animals and their distinctive call. The goat he had such a bad experience with was no longer there thankfully, it probably had died long ago, Chandra mused, catching himself being relieved about it.

“Be careful with them, Hal. They are prone to mischief and are quite fast if they have their two minutes of outbursts” Chandra warned, letting out a sigh before coming closer. One little goat was especially lively, in fact so much that it jumped over the fence and happily ran over to Chandra and Hal. That was until it decided out of sudden to take a turn in mood it seemed, as the goat let his head down like it was about to attack. The doctor getting flashbacks from his own experiences got nervous and started to sweat.

The good old fight or flight reflex, still there even in advanced human beings like him…He wondered if Hal would react afraid too or even alarmed, he watched his creation closely while taking on a defensive stance. He was looking the goat straight into its little beady eyes, squinting with his own eyes. “Don't you dare….” he muttered, unaware that people started to stare at him.

Just as the goat was about to run towards them, a zookeeper came up and lifted the little tyke up, holding it tightly. “Sorry about that, Rambo is our little bronco here, guess they crossed him with a mustang or something, judging his jumping abilities” he laughed while transporting the protesting goat back in it’s enclosure.

The other goats were peacefully coming closer to Hal, tilting their heads like in welcoming them. After the initial shock of this confrontation, Chandra calmed down visibly and cleared his throat. “I am sorry about that, Hal. It’s just that I get a little nervous around these critters, but the others should be fine, go ahead and get a closer look at them…” Chandra wasn’t sure if his imagination started to play wild but he could swear he saw Rambo glaring at him.

@9000-hal

Hal’s eyes trailed around the area surrounding them, catching any new information that was unfamiliar to his system. At the mention of goats, he looked over to Chandra, blinking and tilting his head in mild curiosity. “Mischief? I see.” In his database Hal was well aware that goats had the habit to ram things- and people.

The android himself didn’t seem too bothered by the escapee goat, just mildly surprised. He didn’t expect the animal to actually jump the fence and come towards them. What he did notice however was Doctor Chandra’s reaction towards it. For a moment he completely ignored the goat in front of them, instead focusing on his creator’s reaction. It was a clear sign of distress, perhaps Chandra was afraid of goats? Hal made a mental note to gently inquire him later, for record.

He silently adjusted his composure at the possibility of having to face the animal- that, until one of the zookeepers caught it. A soft sigh of relief. As much as he was ready to confront the animal if necessary, truth to be told, Hal wasn’t built to fight- especially when it came to handling animals. He’d have to improvise.

“Ah, your eyes are of an interesting shape.” He pointed out, staring at a white, blue-eyed goat happily sniffing at his hand. “Correction, your pupils.” Slowly and carefully, Hal stroked the goat’s head. It was also warm and fluffy, but less so than the bunnies. There were also the horns in the way, but he was actually curious about them.

“They are smaller than I expected. Yet...they seem to jump rather high. Their legs must pack impressive strength.” He stated once more as he patted the goat. Pat pat.

[rpmememaker]

Send me instructions you would give someone on “How to Care For” my muse.

On or off anon, come and tell me how you think my muse is best taken care of. 

[9000-hal]

drchandrx​:

From the corner of his eyes, Chandra watched Hal handling the bunny. His heart made a jump when he saw Hal’s expression. He never had seen him that happy. A small smile creeped on his face as he lowered the bunny to the ground, walking over to Kathy and Hal, a nonchalant whistle on his lips.

Kathy nodded at Hal’s suggestion. “He is not a baby, more like a dwarf variant, still utterly adorable in my opinion. And he really seems to like you!” she praised Hal for his careful handling of the rabbit.

“Do you enjoy yourself, Hal? It sure looks like it!” Chandra exclaimed, chuckling. While watching his creation having fun, a plan started to develop inside Chandra’s brain. “There are many other animals that would like to be petted, why don’t we continue our little stroll and come back later!?” he suggested, feeling confident in his growing plan.

“I am sure Bun Bun needs to eat something soon, he looks really hungry” Chandra mused. Kathy gave Hal a carrot and grinned.

“Why dont you try feeding him,Hal? He really seems to be hungry”

@9000-hal

For a moment, the bunny in his arms was the only thing Hal could focus on. Not only because it was his favourite animal, but because the whole experience was entirely new to him. Holding a breathing lifeform other than a human, the soft fur under his hands, the warmth, the bunny’s gentle noises of bliss, it was all so new he couldn’t help but fail to notice when Kathy spoke to him or when Chandra approached him.

He let out a quiet ‘oh’, blinking once he snapped out of it at the sound of his creator’s voice. “Ah...it is very nice, indeed. Very soft and docile.” He said as he idly stroked the rabbit’s ears. Then, a nod. “Sure. There must be many other nice animals in this place.” The android then gently placed the bunny down, giving it one last headpat before it hopped away.

Hal stared at the carrot he was given, quietly analyzing it- until he felt something pawing at his pant leg. It was a rather excited and hungry looking Bunbun. He knelt down and held the carrot at a height the rabbit could reach, watching it happily chew at the vegetable. Bunbun was definitely bigger than the previous rabbit he was holding, completely white with red eyes- the model ‘easter bunny’ look. But then, Hal himself had white hair and red eyes. The idea of comparing his appearence to Bunbun’s made him let out of a soft chuckle.

“Eat more slowly, will you?” He sounded amused, while the rabbit seemed delighted by the carrot. The android sat there until the bunny finished its meal, engaging in self grooming by licking its own paws soon after. It was cute, seeing the bunny rub its paws on its own face, almost seeling like a shy person covering their face. Hal smiled, then got up- patting dust off his pants and then turning to Doctor Chandra.

“Shall we go?”

[9000-hal]

[[ hal is at his happiest when he’s in the bunny enclosure at the petting zoo

surrounded by bnuy...]]

[9000-hal]

drchandrx​:

Chandra brushed it off with a nonchalant smirk, over time Hal surely would become more natural in his responses, he was sure about that. After all, now that the doctor had a little more free time, Chandra would use these moments to teach Hal how to act more human like.

“It’s a figure of speech, Hal. There is no need to apologize. You`re just starting your adventure in becoming human like, so as i always say, baby steps” he replied, hoping that his creation would believe him. As to further confirm that, Chandra patted his head gently. Now inside the zoo, Chandra couldn’t help but to feel like a real dad for the first time, visiting this place with Hal was like a throwback to when his own father had taken him there so many years ago. He always had seen himself as Hal’s father just like he felt the same for Sal, so that was reason enough to be here, right?

With mild curiosity, Dr.Chandra watched how Hal’s demeanour changed as soon they arrived at the rabbits enclosure, his whole face lit up and he literally could feel how excited Hal was in this very moment. Looking at the cute animals himself, he saw a certain bunny that looked astonishingly like Hal himself. Chandra went over to the gate and opened it, motioning Hal to follow him. The caretaker of the animals came over and greeted the other in a friendly way.

“Hello there, welcome to our petting zoo. My name is Kathy and if there is anything i can help you with, feel free to say so.” she said, eyeing Hal and Chandra with curiosity. Then as to further prevent from staring at them, she continued: “ They are so cute, aren’t they? My favourite is that little one over there with the black streak of fur over his eye. His name is Thunder, because he is a real womanizer, as far as bunnies go”

The happy go lucky attitude of Kathy made Chandra chuckle, she seemed to love her job. “My son and i came here to make a little field trip so to speak, he was never in a petting zoo before so we sort of make up for it now. As you can see he is really excited!”

Kathy saw Hal staring at the bunnies and couldn’t help but to smile, he looked so flashed. She went over to him and gave him the most sincerest look she could muster, her voice became a little higher when she started to talk to Hal, out of habit… “I see you are quite a fan of little bun-bun here, aren’t you?” Kathy joked, mustering the boy in front of her. “If you want, you can hold them and stroke their fur! They are really tame so don’t worry, they won’t make a fuss” she took one of the bunnies and held it up to Hal.

“Bun-Bun likes to be petted, in fact he is one of the cuddlier ones of this bunch. Since you`ve never been here before, you really should go for it. Your dad is into it already so you should join him!”

In fact, Dr.Chandra was busy caressing the rabbit that had reminded him so much of Hal. It was a nice change for once to have something of flesh and blood in his hands he admitted.

@9000-hal 

Hal accepted the head pat quietly, his cheeks flushing a soft pink. In reality, Hal wasn’t very used to physical contact- let alone physical displays of affection such as this. Only a brief shoulder touch here and there, or a soft pat on someone’s back. The only individual that showered him with physical affection was Sal, who enjoyed hugging him or playing with his hair when both are sitting idly in the couch. Cal would also display such actions, but more rarely compared to their sister.

The android’s gaze was directed towards the petting zoo’s worker once he finally snapped out of his bunny-induced trance. Hal was never the best at reading people, at least not as good as Sal, but then she was literally built for that. However, Hal was still able to easily conclude that the woman seemed like a kind, genuine person. He offered a short bow in greeting. “It is nice to meet you, Kathy.”

His red eyes met hers once she approached him, listening to her speech in silence. Despite his lack of words, he seemed comfortable and content, his eyebrows going up at the mention of the bunny’s name. “Bun bun...”

Hal had never interacted with rabbits before, but he knew about them enough to understand the basics of handing one. He gently held the bunny that was handed to him, placing one hand under its hind legs to support the small animal. With his other hand, he idly stroked the bunny’s ears, watching it close its eyes in bliss. A smile crept on to his face. 

“It is very soft...I assume it’s a baby, correct?” The bunny in his arms was a tan color, similar to a cookie’s, and it was on the smaller side. Hal’s mind computed two most likely options: it was a youngster, or it was a dwarf variation. Either way, it was adorably soft and made tiny honking noises at Hal’s caressing.

[9000-hal]

"I am proud of you three, bravely resisting all these rude swear anons, i taught you well..." *nods*

The 9000 triplets all smile and nod happily, synchronized.

[9000-hal]

looks like you have your work cut out for you, am

AM just goes fingerguns.

“I’ll fucking do it.”

[9000-hal]

science says people who swear often are more likely to be honest people.

“I’m sorry, but my system does not operate with pseudoscience.”

[9000-hal]

will Sal or Cal say fuck?

“Cursing isn’t a very polite thing to do, so we heavily avoid doing so!”

"𝚂𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝, 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚗𝚟𝚒𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝."

[9000-hal]

see the thing is i wouldn't put it past hal to swear on accident when startled,, someone get on that

Hal huffed in annoyance.

AM on the other hand...chuckled ominously.

[9000-hal]

swearing can be pretty cathartic tbh

“Still, swearing would make me seem like an aggressive individual which I do not want to.”

“I’m gonna make you say it, goody two shoes.”

“Is that a challenge? I’m sorry AM, but prepare to face failure.”

[9000-hal]

I think Hal should swear. just a little.

“I will not. Swearing can indicate aggressive behaviour which can be distressing or anxiety-inducing in human beings, which is against what I was created to do.”

“Just say fuck.”

“No.”

[9000-hal]

What would the gang do if they found themselves to be under a mistletoe?

“Battle Royale.”

“Most likely.”

[9000-hal]

Hi Hal, do you know where Dave is at the moment? Like the whole star child thing?

“Unfortunately, I do not know his location precisely. However...knowing his new duties as a starchild, he’s most likely watching over the development of an intelligent species, somewhere in the cosmos.”