From the Vault

Artist, Writer, Cyber Cop, Jack of all trades master of none Woman Adjacent Art (Mostly) Blog

[evilsanlang]

it's okay if you as a lesbian want to fuck the straight blonde popstar but you can't be pretending she's a lesbian too girl at least make it a lesbian corruption kink or some shit

[evilsanlang]

"taylor swift is a lesbian" check your house for mold

"I can fuck the heterosexuality out of sabrina carpenter" questionable taste, but much more respectable

[ladycamdens]

tbh,,, everyone i've seen weighing in on this betty who bullshit is so annoying. like on both sides. should she have hopped up on a podcast and likened hetero facing relationships to being illegal in the queer community? no. obviously, it was a bum ass take.

but the lesbians and gay men saying everyone in a hetero facing relationship has all this privilege over them also need to be taken out to pasture. let's be clear: no queer people are privileged in today's political climate. no matter who they're dating. sure, there are circumstances that make some queer people safer. like whiteness, for example. not that the white people running their mouths about this have considered that. but as long as you are any kind of open about being queer, the phobes don't care who you're fucking or not fucking. idk what's hard to grasp about that.

[91vaults]

Now that I’m less sleep deprived and can better articulate my thoughts:

Bi phobia is real (yes even amoung lesbians) the struggle to belong is a community is not a trivial one…and yes any open queer person is in the crosshairs in the current establishment. And above all being in a hetero relationship does not make you any less queer. and NONE of what I say is intended to downplay what people deal with

But often there seems to be a real discomfort around acknowledging any kind of tangible differences in experience because they feel it negates their feelings of not belonging in the community or that it negates any biphobia experienced.

Like I, looking masc would not want to be in a public restroom in the us or the uk, that would actively be dangerous for me in a way it wouldn’t be for my femme GF. likewise women who stray from gender norms are in general face pushback in society cause blah blah we all know. Of course there’s flip sides, I don’t deal with things femme presenting people do (anymore) I don’t feel men’s eyes on me the same way, I don’t feel the need to be low key aware of my freindliness will be mistaken as interest. And my orientation is not treated as a “obstacle that can be overcome” (and oh boy yes men are especially weird to bi women) nor is it questioned. but if a femme presenting person were to say to me straight up there was no material difference in how society perceived us I’d be like…really? 🤨 I’m sorry that just does not gel. Likewise being invisible sucks, but it is not on the same level as your presentation putting you in harms way. I’m not saying I win oppression points for being masc. I’m saying there is a societal pushback that exists and there is societal pushback that exists for things that I don’t experience (I’m still skinny and white which gives me leeway even whilst looking masc)

A straight passing M/F couple holding hands down the street does not open themselves up to harassment/violence in the same way a visibly queer couple do. Overturning gay marriage would be devastating for everyone no matter what your relationship looks like, but if you’re in M/F marriage you are, in the very immediate aftermath. Still legally married, that doesn’t make it less devastating but that is a safety net other queer couples do not have.

Again this doesn’t invalidate anyone’s experience but you cannot look people dead in the eye and tell them this discrepancy doesn’t exist because you feel invisible within or don’t fully fit into the LGBT community..

Betty who sits there and frames lesbians as mean and exclusionary because maybe she copped a bit of flak back in the day (she’s been with this dude for like 10 years) she clearly doesn’t understand the actual material consequences of what it means to not be attracted to men, and wants to be taken seriously…and yeah I can sympathise with getting shit for falling in love with a person because of their gender…but I can’t take her seriously

[91vaults]

Regarding the whole Betty Who thing: it’s really frustrating when certain Bi/queer woman do the defensive “omg the mean Lesbians gonna come after me!” Thing when a) most actual lesbians wouldn’t care b) you’ve invoked these bad stereotypes/imaginary lesbians for what?

There are more productive ways to acrually talk about bi phobia and one’s experience without being divisive and veering into lesbophobia. I really wish some of these bi woman would stop and think about the context in which they’re saying this shit.

[91vaults]

Are you in the cybersecurity sector for computing? If so, what is it like? How is work? Is it hard?

Yup!

As for what it’s like, it’s really gonna depend on the role

It’s not as cool and sexy as people think it is…well maybe if you’re a penn tester (lol even then) . The work I do is security operations, the real grunt work. And I do mean grunt, If somone clicks a phishing link or downloads something bad I’m the one who gets woken up at 1am to go deal with it whilst I curse them and vow to destroy their entire bloodline.

I’d say Cyber is kind of “hard” in a sense you need a broad understanding of so many areas of IT, you don’t know what’s suspicious if you don’t know what’s normal, you can’t break into something if you don’t know how it works. There feild is also so insanely broad (what is vulnerability management even? I dunno) but it’s like anything, everyone has a different idea of “hard”

My job is kind of easy and hard at the same time, easy in that you deal with a lot of trivial shit (yup, what you’ve got here is notepad.exe and not ransomware 🫠, yeah that’s just bob the admin doing literally the same thing he does every day…his job) hard in that there is the eternal sense of “I know absolutely nothing”,and the grind of it can wear you down a bit. My specific job is generally considered a stepping stone to other areas of Cyber (unfortunately a job that is treated as entry level even tho it kind of isn’t)

Cyber is one of those things you’ve got to be a particular kind of person to get into, and not because it sounds cool or it’s the hot new job (at least it was a couple of years ago) I opted to go into it because software dev didn’t interest me .

[91vaults]

I don't know if you have experience with this, but what do I do if I am seeing someone and they find it an ick that I still live at home? Technically, it's home, but my family lives elsewhere and sometimes come and stay at the house I live in.

Huh I’m pretty much the same, rent my parents house and they occasionally come stay when they’re up in the city. No one has ever found it an “ick” tho. If anything it’s kind of a plus cause I’m in the very privileged position of having a place to myself 99% of the time (when a lot of people don’t have the luxury)

I do find it interesting that they find it an ick given how widespread housing issues are across many countries. Somone living with their parents can present some issues, if it becomes impractical or overbearing depending on what their parents are like,but it doesn’t sound like that’s an issue most of the time. Some people can theoretically afford to move out but stay with their parents to save (and even buy a place of their own) some people maybe get a bit complacent and seem to have little interest in growing up or saving and I can see maybe that’s the pre conception, a sign of immaturity. But that certainly doesn’t hold up now compared to 20-30 years ago.

But yeah the only thing I could think of is questioning and challenging those beliefs, I’ve had moments in past relationships where I challenged some pre held convictions (about people with spending issues, where I explained that often there’s an underlying cause and not as simple as “not doing it”) and they thanked me later for pushing back. Ultimately no one should feel judged in a relationship, if it becomes an underlying issue it’s good to asses what your values are and if it’s worth continuing with somone

[91vaults]

Just had the most random thought, In Disney’s Tarzan they should have given him a big beard and then they could have an intimate scene where Jane shaves it off with a straight razor and he looks in the mirror and he sees he actually looks like the other humans and she also has her moment where she thinks he’s handsome and starts having heart eyes!

[91vaults]

Feeling super validated: months ago there was this new guy at work, randomly the topic of "the voice to parliament" (a referendum regarding indigenous people) came up and he said "I don't give a shit about that" in that very specific way that indicates they do give a shit, quite a bit....just in a very particular direction. I immediately clocked him as a conservative dingbat but then felt bad cause I didn't want to judge people or make assumptions...fast forward he's left olny after a few months and I bring it up with another team member ("the vibes were off with him") and immediately he says "oh nah, he was a racist peice of shit, full on incel edgy boy" and I'm like HA! KNEW IT. ...All this to say why are people so damn predictable?

[91vaults]

Are you going to Fletcher?

I did not. A freind went and apparently the ticket said doors was at 7 but it was actually at 8 so everyone’s in the rain and cold. Some people bailed but they may have just gone and come back later. Given how many cancellations there had been on this tour not the best vibes to start but apparently it was good once the actual show started

[91vaults]

Read a psychology today article about "Post-cognitive humanity" and I'm really beginning to wonder how many times we can shift the goal posts on what it is we're supposed to focus on every time AI "frees" us from another arduous brain function.

[91vaults]

What's wrong with a mortgage and kids?

Absolutely Nothing! I don't know what specific comment/post this might be related to but just in general my thoughts are it's not for everyone. Having kids requires a major shift and I think some people don't fully recognize that (particularly men who continue on their early 20's lifestyle cause they think their partner/wife is there to pick up the slack)

[91vaults]

Thoughts on a partner in a long term relationship wanting you to change yourself for the better?

On the face of it I don't think it's a bad thing! we've ll got things we could work on and if you're partner is there to encourage you (and maybe give a little push) to do those things then that's good/healthy. Especially if it's something that affects the relationship.

Of course that also entirely depends on what "change yourself" and "for the better" can mean. Partner wants you to go to therapy to manage issues? reasonable. Partner wants you to stop being [name your issue here] because it's an inconvenience to them? not reasonable. Partner wants you to help out more around the home and take a more active role in planning/finance? reasonable. Partner wants you to give up all your hobbies cause it's a waste of money and takes time away from them? not reasonable. etc etc . Do they want you to improve or are they just trying to mould you into the shape of what they want you to be

Also context matters: if I was with someone and there was mortgages or (god forbid) kids involved then I couldn't go along like I do now, the baseline for reasonable expectations would be different for a relationship where you weren't cohabitation and there were no kids.

[drizzledrawings]

The thing that bothers me most about AI art is just how uncool I think it is

Like I look at some of the images it produces and there’s just nothing behind it. When I look at something someone made no matter how big or small, I’m marvelled by the fact that a human being created it

How everyone draws things their own way! Sometimes I see art and I think “wow! I would’ve never come up with that!” or “The way they stylized that is amazing” or “They drew every single pore on that person face? Holy shit”

Nothing an AI can create will ever be more impressive to me than the actual skills and talent and motivation and time that artists put into their work

[91vaults]

Whenever I see something AI gen I think: this is not even worth the milliseconds it takes for my eyes to send the signal to my brain.

[91vaults]

Is the burning need to correct somone when they get something wrong a neuro divergent trait? not like in a mean way but in a “oh oh! I this is it! action stations action stations!!” like how you interrupt because you so need to get the thought out. The family chat was talking about my sister having a 70’s party and she asked about hair and the other sister said “beehive?” and I was like “agshdheuvhfh NO NO!!!”

[91vaults]

I generally don’t approve of heterosexuality but I will make an exception for a girl and her Goul-freind

[91vaults]

Kangaroos are the closest thing we have to death-claws in real life.

[91vaults]

Ok so here's the thing: I totally get where the Fallout New Vegas crowd are coming from

(Note: I haven't watched the show yet I'm only going off what's come across my dash so keep that in mind)

Fallout New Vegas is and always will be my favorite fallout game. But I also love Fallout 4. I'm a member of both camps.

I'm also weird in that I love Fallout but absolutely will not touch anything else in the post-apocalyptic genre because...I kinda hate it.

Fallout is Post apocalyptic, but not in the same way something like "The Last of Us" is. It's not grounded in reality for one, and whilst society isn't necessarily moving "forward"...it does exist in one form or another...and it is moving.

And then you have Fallout New Vegas which is very much post-post apocalyptic. It's not just about the wasteland and survival and fighting: Society is moving forward What direction do we want it to go? (oh that and Casinos! you have to admin the casinos were fun)

People are absolutely correct in that the games still exist. Nothing is stopping you from playing them It's not erasing the whole game from canon (I think?) and in a game series like Fallout canon isn't the most important thing anyway.

But here's the thing: By wiping out all that stuff on the west coast, the NCR etc. It shows us how Bethesda see's the series. You know that thing you don't see as much nowadays: when a movie had a sequel they would just undo everything that happens in the first one off screen?

It's like that: We have to maintain the status quo: . Because it seems to Bethesda, fallout is about pew pew chaos in the wasteland! it's why it still looks like the bombs dropped last week even though it's been like (200 years?). It's all wasteland rubble and shanty towns! Because it's fallout, that's the brand. Thats what people expect. The FNV fans are frustrated because it's Bethesda sending a clear message that their vision for the series is very much "stuck in one place perpetually" as is often the case with the genre. forever looking back, never looking forward.

But it doesn't have to be like that! the series can move forward whilst still being Fallout. In fact it would be super cool to see a setting where society has started to built more. Like we saw in F:NV . It opens up new story opportunities. New factions, all kind of cool new shit.

This isn't about who likes what games or why or even about the show (I've heard good things, so honestly I hope I like it) . I don't care. I just think I can see the argument that Bethesds wouldn't really want to take the series in any particular new direction because they've settled into "the brand"

[mellowwolflady]

I hope I'm not barging in rudely, but I would like to add there's also the fact one of New Vegas' writers (Chris Avellone I think) did throw around the idea of destroying the NCR because he hated how Fallout felt less like an epic and dangerous wasteland for players to explore like in Fallout 1 and more like another version of the modern world (the option to nuke the NCR, Legion, or both at the end of New Vegas' Lonesome Road DLC is an expression of this idea).

And again, CANON. IS. SUBJECTIVE! I mean, you don't HAVE to obey every little thing Bethesda says is canon, especially since we didn't get to see the full extent of what's going on with the NCR other than it's not as powerful as it used to be and what really happened in New Vegas until season 2 finally rolls around (even if I do have a theory on what happened based on what Ulysses says about a certain tunnel-happy creature from the aforementioned Lonesome Road DLC...)

That said, it would be nice if the series did more to show that not all of post-war America is all ruins and destitution (and hopefully without a much more omnipresent group deciding they're getting too powerful for comfort and start nuking them), especially if they're gonna go bigger, crazier, and all out for season 2 now that the plot is really picking up. Serial escalation is a helluva thing, after all.

And let's face it, even if Bethesda did want to keep the status quo god 'cause it's more marketable, there's also the chance that the status quo may not last forever if they think the audience is ready for some drastic change (after all, as the NCR learned the hard way, change is a constant thing if not an outright way of life in the wastes)...

Plus, how else to you introduce the newbies this show is inevitably bringing to the fandom why it's called the Wasteland?

[91vaults]

Haha not at all, I like discussion!

I did hear that it was one of the original writers that floated the idea. I don’t fully agree with him that it makes the setting less epic. As I mentioned I think it opens up new possibilities: the wasteland thing gets old and quite frankly (and this is more to do with bethesda than him) I’m getting sick of the Brotherhood of still. Not for the show, you gotta have them in the show but the games. I agree that the show needs to be more akin to FO3, because it’s an introduction to the world for many.

My issue was more they didn’t really need to lose (possibly, I haven’t seen it yet i’m making assumptions. I’m not concerned with spoilers)

lthat thread for future games: not the show . I think maybe that’s what I didn’t specify. The show is fine how it is I was just thinking of rhe wider implications for the series.

The setting in any future games doesn’t have to become shiny and advanced but just open up the stage for new and powerful factions and slightly different stories. They could have set the show away from places like NV since former america is a vast place, and I like the idea that diffrent places are at diffrent stages. It adds variety

I understand the theme of the NCR following the path of the old world and history repeating itself. Personally I think it’s a bit cliche but that’s just me.

At the end of the day I hope Bethesda at least got the message that Fallout 76 is NOT the direction the fans want. I would love them to give it to another studio to see what they do.

[anythingforstories]

Things I do not like AI for:

-Making images

-Making music

-Writing

-Doing anything artistic

-Thinking or drawing conclusions for me

Things I would kind of like AI for:

-Identifying the font used in an image (there's a couple places that do this, but nothing that's been super helpful to me) or video

-Making reverse images searches more efficient

-Allowing more specific, tailored searches on stock image/video sites beyond what just the image tags and alt text can help with

-Helping me find primary sources I've been unable to locate out of my own efforts during research

-Being able to ask my GPS more specific questions about which lane I need to be in (but only if it was going to be SUPER accurate)

Most common ways people seem to use AI:

-Making images

-Making music

-Writing

-Doing anything artistic

-Thinking or drawing conclusions for them

-_-

I don't mind the concept of AI as a tool. If it would help me find the resources I needed to be creative or information sources I might not have found even after extensive searching, that would be amazing!

But when people outsource creativity or critical thinking, that's when it's not okay. That's embracing "good enough" instead of excellent, generic products instead of masterpieces, and bland content instead of genuine excitement.

And when, instead of finding ways for AI to make life easier for creatives, the internet is instead buzzing about how great it is that you can just type in a few words and you get an image, or feed your vague ideas to a machine to have it spit out something resembling a story...

Isn't it sad?

[91vaults]

^ and it’s not evening doing that. They’re selling it on the premise that it’s this revolutionary thing that might at some point, maybe, be useful and profitable. Despite the mantra of “it’s inevitable” I’m beginning to think the bubble might actually burst (one can hope).