99 Problems of an Ennagram One

[99problemsofanennagramone]

How Enneagram types approach a game of Tetris

1) There is a single, perfect way in which all of these blocks go together to form a solid, perfect piece. I will find it.

2) Oh, no, really, you take another turn. I’m fine just watching.

3) That high score is mine.

4) This game is basic. It’s putting boxes inside of other boxes. I hate that.

5) [during player 1’s turn] Ohhh. Interesting strategy.   [during player 2’s turn] Ohhh. Interesting strategy.

6) It’s not my fault the pieces they gave me don’t fit in the spaces I made.

7) A game! How fun!

8) Ok, no, just, oh my god. Give me the controller! Don’t tell me where to put the pieces. I know where to put the fucking pieces.

9) Is there a multiplayer option or???

[99problemsofanennagramone]

Me: What’s the best web browser?

Co-worker: There isn’t one. 

Me: I can’t handle that. 

[99problemsofanennagramone]

Truth.

[99problemsofanennagramone]

2-8s: 

Me: 

[99problemsofanennagramone]

“The first episode I watched was the series finale”

[99problemsofanennagramone]

When someone says, “how are you?”

[99problemsofanennagramone]

When someone says they need to “fit in”

[99problemsofanennagramone]

Dear god. My waking nightmare.