please. dont raise your voice at me..

INFJ-T, yr 2000|| cw: sh, self loathing, mentions of su1s1d3, spiraling || mdni please, but take care.

[9ad5ea]

i would like to relapse just a little, as a treat

[9ad5ea]

psych wards are no place for help or recovery

at least none ive beento

it feels dehumanizing

[9ad5ea]

help i cant stop regurgitating

wait its like im a bird

nevermind

[9ad5ea]

the routes i see in my mind in panic mode include:

TW - SU1CID3, SH, IMPULSIVE THOUGHTS

wanting to sell everything i own > burning the money > jumping off a highway bridge

going sicko mode on my skin > regretting it when i shower because it fucking burns > no logner regretting it because its pretty

delete all social media > walk outside in one direction and eventually get hit

make a p1ll cocktail > call my ex as i drinnk it to ruin his fucking life !!

[9ad5ea]

compyuta

send search signals to other adult jirais so we can be moots

[belldandies]

[9ad5ea]

everything that could go wrong is going wrong

[angelic-femcel]

[9ad5ea]

i don’t see any use for my existence besides work, i work for a small startup and it feels like the only thing im good at is helping out there

i can feel my joy in things i used to like fading every day

i want to sell my dresses and my art supplies and my gaming pc

i cantfeel anything anymore

[9ad5ea]

i wish i’d get an incurable disease and die

or switch health with someone who actually wants to live and is fighting for their life

i’m sure they would appreciate living more than me

i don’t need to be here

no one needs me

sure thete are people who WANT me to be around but i dont think im needed

im easily replaceable

[9ad5ea]

i think i gotta find different tags, i havr a feeling the overwhelming majority of jirai on tumblr are teenagers with adolescent struggles i no longer relate to

am i even supposed to find community in my mental illness? or just continue to sulk in solitude

[9ad5ea]

ok yeah that’s fine i call out and no one answers

just comes with being and irrelevant nobody on tumblr

[9ad5ea]

people want me to stop sh because it would make THEM feel better knowing i stopped

it wouldn’t make ME feel better

it actually would make me miserable

do people want to help others to make themselves feel fulfilled and accomplished, not because they actually care?

i’m gonna throw up

[9ad5ea]

boyfriend says if i dont make better efforts to stop self harm then the relationship is at stake

advice please

i have nothing else, this is my only solace my only comfort

you can message me too

just anything

[9ad5ea]

sh-should i cut, smoke, and drink?!

that sounds

good

[9ad5ea]

gonna smoke for the first time

how do i do this

[severetunneldreadnought]