I imagine bumping into my internet friends on the street like āsor-YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOā
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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todays bird
Game of Thrones Daily
Jules of Nature

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$LAYYYTER
wallacepolsom

ellievsbear
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
I'd rather be in outer space šø
RMH
tumblr dot com

ā
KIROKAZE
hello vonnie

Origami Around
DEAR READER
Stranger Things
noise dept.

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@a-foool
I imagine bumping into my internet friends on the street like āsor-YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOā
heyā¦
ā¦got any grapes?
(Butler voice) Your coochie, sir
i got a rare condition
i got a glass dick and paper balls
every time i jump my dick just shatters and my nuts turn into origami paper cranes and fly away
and everytime we kiss i swear i could fly
Any animal: *sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sn
me when i have a cold lol!
Lol
now for my #1 hit cowboy single, āNow Why Would You Go On And Do Somethin So Foolish Like Fallin In Love With Me? (Yeehaw)ā
Tetris teaches kids that their accomplishments always disappears but their errors will pile up
no, it teaches kids to quickly visualize shapes and patterns, you edgy freak
@queer-gemini this is what I've always been talking about
Workers, when have you said āfuck this, I quitā?
I used to work at McDonalds (I know). Opening usually involved me at the front counter with a headset on so I could do drive-through orders and handle making coffee / putting orders together / taking money at the front from the little old people that came in at the crack of dawn every morning. We would also have a manager who was there to be important and one person in the kitchen. Weāre a small rural town so usually this is fine but we were on kind of a major highway so sometimes it would get busy out of nowhere.
Depending on the manager the amount of help we had would vary wildly. One morning we got super busy and I started cracking under the pressure. Iām a fantastic multi-tasker but my drive-through line was backing up since I was trying to juggle them and all the walk-in folks from my front registers and when it gets packedā¦well, itās fun. I glance around trying to find my manager for help. I see him on one of our cameras ā heās outside smoking a cigarette around the side of the building. Mind you, this is like his third trip out to smoke this morning. Iām absolutely dying trying to get caught up. Customers are being passive aggressive saying they will come behind the counter and get their own coffee and stuff. I have people yelling at me in my headset from the drive through. I end up having to remove the headset just to try to get the frontline sorted. I start making progress with the front but I basically had to sacrifice the drive-through customers for two minutes.
Apparently the cars outside start yelling at my manager and interrupt his smoke break so he comes in, sees me with my headset off and goes berserk. Heās like āWHOS TAKING THE DRIVE-THRU ORDERS?ā Iām in the middle of trying to get a fresh pot of coffee going so I sort of auto-respond āNo one. Hang on.ā as I continue to dash around behind our counter to grab a fruit & yogurt parfait for an order. He basically gets in my way and starts giving me shit. Loudly, talking to me like Iām a dog. I point to the camera and yell, loudly enough to disrupt the entire inside of the restaurant. āIām these two registers, first window, second window, and Iām bagging. Iām like FOUR PEOPLE and youāre out behind the building not doing SHIT!ā
His eyes go wide. I can tell he knows Iām holding on by my last thread. Heās sighs. And heās like āYouāre in a ton of trouble but we can talk about this later.ā No. Fuck him. Iām done. Iām all riled up from random customers yelling at me. I toss him the headset. āYou want to give me shit for not being able to run like four stations with no support? Run five. Iāll watch.ā I remove my name badge.
He went to say something to me. I turn away, facing the one girl working in the kitchen who is watching this all play out. I remember telling her āIām so sorry.ā and then I dropped my name badge, toss my hat on the counter, grab a water cup, put on (and zip) my jacket so my uniform is covered up. I go to the drink fountain, fill my water cup, and then I go sit on the far side of the seating area and watch him go down in flames. He ends up ALSO taking off the headset and picking up the phone so he can spam call the whole workforce one by one trying to call for help. Itās like 5AM so no one is going to accept a call from their work number. About ten minutes into his struggle he ends up very loudly pleading with me to come back from behind the counter. I canāt even see him on the other side of the sea of people swarming the counter at this point.
I call back āI need a smoke first!ā and I go outside.
I donāt smoke. Iāve never smoked. I drive home.
He ended up losing his job.
To All the Mutuals I Still Follow Even Though We Only Had That One Hyperfixation in Common Like Five Years Ago
ghost choir š»Ā šµ
(soundcloud!)
Me: hey wanna see a magic trick?
Them: yeah sure
Me: *takes out tarot deck*
Me: your wife is cheating on you
the party boy