uhhhhh??

I don't know how to human. i don't like to human. i spend more time on Ao3 than I spend interacting with people.

[a-totally-reasonable-username]

I'm shadows, they/them. I'm disabled and chronically ill and mostly post about that but i'm also a writer and fibre artist so sometimes i'll post about that. Weirdly enough i have to say this but i don't live in the usa?

I will not hesitate to block anyone who's trying to start fights. I will delete your comments and asks. I do not have the energy for that bullshit. (That said, if i didn't reply to an ask, it probably wasn't because i deleted it, but because i forgot)

There's a good chance i'll post about something multiple times without ever realising my memory is shit and i can never remember if i said the same exact thing five times already.

If you see me posting or reblogging something discriminatory, please let me know. I speak english fluently but i'm not a native speaker and chances are, i genuinely didn't know. If that wasn't the case, i'm always willing to learn and i'd appreciate it if you'd let me know.

I tag trigger and content warnings as well as i can but if you want me to tag specific things, you can send an ask and i'll gladly do my best to tag it in the future. (even just anon with nothing but the tags is perfectly alright)

If you notice me posting or reblogging an image or video without an image description, i'd appreciate if you'd let me know so i can add it

Asks are always welcome but i can't guarantee i'll answer. Anon is always open.

Do not tell me to talk to my doctor. Don't try to "remind me" to check in with a doctor before making medical decisions.

[crabussy]

I don't understand how cis people obsessed with gender norms think trans people are the weird ones. they're going around believing that your name has to correlate to your genitals. your fashion has to correlate to your genitals. your behaviours have to correlate to your genitals. your hobbies have to correlate to your genitals. who you date has to correlate to your genitals. whether you can put sparkles on your eyelids or not has to correlate to your genitals. and then people like me go "hmm. I might not do that. maybe I'll just do what feels fun and okay instead" and they LOSE their MINDS

[tankie-transfeminist]

If you hate narcissistic people you need to unfollow me. Only people who love and support narcissists are allowed on this blog.

For anyone who's still around and wants to be educated, "narcissism" is a personality disorder, which is a fancy way of saying that it's a way of existing, which has real disadvantages, but which has also been effectively criminalized by the medicarceral system. If you hate narcissists, you are complicit in the ongoing social processes which deny them bodily autonomy, human connection, and basic dignity.

Narcissism/being narcissistic/having NPD is not a moral failing. Treating narcissistic people like shit is.

[tankie-transfeminist]

If you don't have NPD it's actually more important you reblog this. It's been really great seeing a lot of people with NPD react to this really positively, but I need everyone who does not have NPD to enforce this for their own blogs too.

[voredere]

friendly reminder to ppl who don't have NPD

-NPD has one of the highest suicide rates of any mood related disorder; slightly less impulsivity based attempts than BPD, but NPD sufferers are more likely to succeed in their attempts.

-NPD, like most cluster B disorders, is generally traumagenic, meaning it usually develops as a means of coping with childhood trauma, abuse, or neglect.

-"Narc abuse" is pop psychology with no real basis in reality. NPD sufferers are infinitely more likely to be abused than become abusers, and are typically more prone to self destructive than anything.

-If your parents sucked shit, it's because they *chose* to treat you like shit, not because they had a magic version of NPD that makes them a Bad Person. sorry you had to find out this way.

-Random people online with NPD aren't your parents and it's really creepy to project your trauma onto them.

treat the NPD sufferers in your life like people or die trying.

[cartoonofmilk]

yknow, as counterintuitive as it may seem, helping a suicidal friend isn't a matter of stopping them from dying. it's about helping to make their world one that's worth living in.

it's important to make that distinction, lest we make people's quality of life worse in the name of "protecting" them.

[chemicalsplatter-crafts]

After much struggle, I finally got a good picture of my pride quilt!!! The quilt top is an 86-inch (218 cm) square.

I really love how the quilt top came together! I didn't have a solid vision about which blocks I would use to complete this project. The binding fabric is going to the same batik used to frame out the LeMoyne Star blocks in each corner.

The majority of the border is made up of 12 inch Friendship Star blocks. I really fell in love with the Friendship Star block and will definitely use it again!

I will definitely be longarm quilting this project and just need to schedule a time to quilt it.

[cheese-whiz-barber]

Can this be the disability month we finally stop talking about iq

[decompose1]

this disability pride month i wanna shout out my fellow level 3 autistics, people with severe mobility impairments, people with cognitive and/or intellectual disabilities, and others who need full time care from a caregiver. sometimes it feels like a taboo to talk about not being able to do essential daily living tasks by yourself, or needing someone to take care of you because you can't, but i think there's beauty in the way people care for one another and there isn't any shame in needing help, even if you need that help lifelong, or for a lot of "basic" seeming things!

[revizyonist]

med people are so annoying "This family's 8 year old child who was about to go through a major surgery and kept crying that she was hungry so they pitied her and gave her food, she then had a heart attack in the surgery. They're so stupid 😒" girl they didn't know that could happen or why it happens. it takes so little time to explain to them that will happen instead of telling them "no food" with no explanation 10 times

[revizyonist]

"Before surgery, your body’s reflexes that protect your airway are relaxed by anesthesia. If there’s food or liquid in your stomach, it will near certainly come back up and go into your lungs, which can cause choking, a severe lung / heart infection or even a heart attack. That’s called aspiration, and it is life-threatening. It's hard, but it's only a single day to prevent near certain death. Not eating or drinking beforehand massively lowers the risk and helps prevent these life threatening situations under anesthesia." <- TIP: patients have brains which allows them to receive information just like you

[ancelineonline]

I have four kids. I’ve had one or another of them need some kind of surgical procedure that requires anesthesia four or five times over the past 15 years.

This Tumblr post is the first time someone has explained to me *why* I couldn’t feed them before those instances.

I’m not stupid. I understood that just fine. Hell, my kids would have understood that just fine. But no one bothered to tell us.

[bowditch]

i did know this before having kids (i have six). we have a kid that's needed multiple procedures requiring anesthesia. and every single time, i am asked multiple times if i'm sure he was not given any food or water after a certain point.

every single time i have had to say, "i understand that if he had food or water, he could aspirate it into his lungs under anesthesia. i am not lying to you." THEN someone would make a little note and i would stop being repeatedly asked.

not a single time was that risk explained to me. the only reason it came up was because i already knew. i still don't understand why it isn't standard pre-op counseling or pre-op check information, when me as a parent acknowledging the actual risk also put THE MEDICAL STAFF at ease because i conveyed that i had informed understanding as reason to not lie about giving my kid food.

"maybe some people will get nervous and refuse surgery" okay so they need more counseling about risks and anxiety, not less information in a way that actually does endanger their child or themselves!

[arctic-turtle-cassiopeia]

Reblogging to save a life and teach medical professionals basic communication skills

[scribefindegil]

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

[troublepunk-ldn]

me as a teenager: man it sucks to have no privacy or autonomy but i guess its for a good reason. when i turn 18 i will realise how young i was and understand why they did all that.

me as an adult: teenagers are an oppressed class, their abuse is normalised and systemic and they need to start killing people

[apatheistlesbian]

Anyway this disability pride month I would like to shoutout disabled folks whose creativity has suffered because of their condition. I’m talking people with hand tremors and pain that stop them from drawing, knitting, and playing instruments. People whose thinking has become so disorganized that nothing they write makes sense to other people. People with chronic pain who can no longer dance. People so over medicated in a fruitless attempt to maintain stability that the wells of their imagination have run dry.

I see you and I love you. You are more than your creative output. You are not a shell of what you used to be. You are a whole, complete person, regardless of what your creativity has been, is now, or will be in the future.

[uwillneverknowwho]

Literally always take headphones with you. If you decide that you probably won't need them today, that's the devil talking. You will. You will

[manourfi]

Being a crafty person and making a bunch of things often prompts people to ask "oh wow did you make that?" And like, the short answer is: yes I did, but the long answer is: well, no, the pattern isn't mine, but I did choose and buy the fabric/yarn and sewed it together/crocheted it/knitted it myself. I used a reference for that drawing/painting, I didn't come up with it myself. That ceramic piece was insired by a poem and a painting made by different people. What I'm trying to say is, everything I make requires other people to make their own thing first, and then I get inspired by them to do my own thing. So I can't really call anything truly mine, because really it's just a bunch of inspirations and experiences of others (and me) put together by my hands. Does that answer your question

[bean-pronounced-bawn]

I can't find the post but there's this one post that's like "aging is less than 1% as terrifying as whatever the fuck is going on with people desperately trying not to age"

That but with weight.

Getting or being fat is less than 1% as terrifying as whatever the fuck is going on with people desperately trying to not be fat.

[wifegideonnav]

genuinely the concept of a ‘personality disorder’ is one of the most evil ideas the field of psychiatry has come up with. once you pathologize someone’s Self like that it is very very hard for them to convince either themselves or the people around them that anything they think, do, or want is acceptable

[wifegideonnav]

at a certain point - and this is true for all mental illnesses/neurodivergencies, but in my experience it especially impacts pwPDs - it becomes clear that even the most supportive network and care team are not on your side. they are on the side of the person they want you to be, and they make sure to continuously let you know that you are not that person. pwPDs eventually learn that people will not like, support, or accept them unless they get rid of all the pieces of themselves others find difficult. so they either end up ostracized and angry, or with an unsustainable tendency to desperately people please. and both, of course, are seen as further proof that their personality is diseased and must be corrected. they must accept an excoriating analysis of their Self without a single objection and bow their head to any imposed ministrations.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

I don't need the chatgpt random algorithm to write emails for me because I already have a custom and 100% flawless algorithm called "writing the exact same three emails with the names changed"

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

#1: "hi [landlord], hope you're doing well! [apartment thing] is [broken/a problem]. we need it [fixed/replaced/handled] by [date]. let us know when you'll send someone over so we can be here to let them in. thanks so much, [op]"

#2: "hi [professor], hope you're doing well! unfortunately, I'm [sick/stuck at work/dead] and won't be able to submit [assignment] by [due date]. could I please have an extension? if not, is there anything else I could do to make up this credit? thanks so much, [op]"

#3: "hi [customer service person], hope you're doing well! unfortunately, [product] [didn't arrive/is broken/wrong color/gave me a rash/poisoned my crops] and I'd like to receive a [refund/replacement]. here is the documentation of the order and photos of [broken thing/wrong thing/my rash/dead crops]. thanks so much, [op]"

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

"but op I work in an office I have to write way more emails than you" well that's your fault for working in an office i got nothing to do with that

[perpetualsarcasmmachine]

Writing an email is so easy and I will tell you how it's done. This is the advice is for everyone with an email job, but you can apply it to normal human interaction.

The FIRST SENTENCE is the thing you want the recipient to do. Do not make them guess.

I want to let you know about ... (This email is to inform someone of something not to ask them to do anything)

Could you please do ... (This is a request. You want them to do something).

I'm looking into x and wondering if you can help me (this is also a request but for information instead of an action).

People do not want to read an email and even if they do read it, most people are skimming and not interested. Tell them what you want first, then provide context or other information (when you need a thing is often key). If the email is informational, you can even add "you don't need to do anything, this is just to keep you informed!" People will appreciate not having to figure out what you want from them.

If you can't articulate what you want the recipient to do with the message, you are not ready to email them. I read too many emails where I have no idea what the person wants from me.

Put the most important thing first and everyone will be impressed! AI cannot do this for you because it can't tell what's important! Only you know that, which is why you must write your own emails.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

to everyone who wants help with emails: go through the notes of this post. there are ideas I've never thought of and plenty of scripts for all kinds of situations/jobs

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

happy disability pride month to mean cripples, nasty addicts, people with down syndrome who arent nice and talk constant shit, wheelchair users that WILL run you over, autists that dont care and arent about to pretend to, people who lie to their psychiatrists, people that sit on the floor in public places with no benches, amputees that lie profusely about "what happened", ; to the "noncompliant", the "drug seeking", the "mean", the "difficult" and the "undeserving", and so on and so forth, i love us all and we deserve the world actually mwah mwah

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

to people that hide contraband in their assistive devices. to people that do party tricks they arent supposed to and people who will spit on you if you ask them to do party tricks. to people that weaponise the infantalisation of disabled people for their own purposes (theft et. al.). to the people who "misuse" their medication and people who dont take it at all. to my mother, who takes out her hearing aids when she doesnt want to hear shit anymore but will still pretend to be listening so you dont catch on. to people who sleep all the time and to people with "abnormal" circadian rhythms who are unwilling to alter their sleep/wake cycle to best appeal to societal (and moral) expectations. to people that complain loudly about inaccessibility and refuse to try and "make it work". to people that charge money for invasive questions and people that pretend not to understand the question at all.