Accept

That is the first step.

[a-withered-leaf]

I been through a few near death experiences, but the most traumatic was when you left

[blessedexpressions]

It was said to Hasan Al-Basri رحمه الله:

‎"Are we not ashamed when we constantly repent from a sin and then go back to it?”

He replied:

“How Shaytaan loves to win over you! (by making you think like this), never become tired/impatient of repenting.”

‎[جامع العلوم والحكم]

‎

[a-withered-leaf]

I don’t understand why God had to ruin the best thing that happened to me. It was all so perfect, I knew it was too good to be true.

I’m just going to go off path cos this path has brought me nothing but pain.

[a-withered-leaf]

I really don’t want to be living anymore man.

So many people say “ oh I’m grateful for another day” but I swear to God. I want out. I hate this world. I hate this life. I don’t want to be living a second longer.

[a-withered-leaf]

I guess I use tumblr as a source of outlet. I’m not usually so soppy. But when I look at my page I genuinely just think everything I post looks like it could be from a 16 yr old. And then it just reaffirms how sad it is. I mean, how genuinely upsetting it is, that you could have your heart ripped to pieces just by loving someone a little too hard and no one can help at all.

[a-withered-leaf]

It’s been just over a year and a half since we parted.I’m still in so much agony. So much pain. I can’t even really speak about it with anyone anymore because I know deep down they think I should be over it, that I need to move on. But how, how do you move on from someone you loved so much. Someone you were so certain was going to be yours. So you just have to turn another leaf and forgot they even exist. How can I simply come to terms with the one whom I loved now altogether a complete stranger.

My heart continues to ache.

[a-withered-leaf]

Memories will never fade

[a-withered-leaf]

How can I ever have hope again

[a-withered-leaf]

How can I ever forgive myself when someone so beautiful left so suddenly

[a-withered-leaf]

When I say I love you.

What I mean is I can live without you.

But I wish I didn’t have to.

[a-withered-leaf]

Healing is a killer, but your growth is worth it.

[a-withered-leaf]

Waking up thinking.. will the grass be greener on the other side?

[a-withered-leaf]

And what if you love the one who has forgotten about you

[a-withered-leaf]

I loved so much, I lost

[muhtesemz]

Everyone says you shouldn't rely on another person to fill the empty spaces in your heart. They tell you you are just as strong on your own. But the way I see it, some of those empty spaces are only shaped for another person to fill. It doesn't matter how much I love myself or how confident I am. In the end I can't hold myself while I'm crying. I can't roll over and hug myself to fall back to sleep after a bad dream. Life is about love and love is meant to be shared.

[a-withered-leaf]

I wish I could actually conversate with Allah.

I just need answers and reassurance.

[a-withered-leaf]

Sometimes I just want to be held, comforted and most of all loved. I want that to stay forever. But idk if this dunya has that in store for me.