sooo i drew some cute,dumb and funny intractions i had in tomodachi life with toman here's the first two slides i created! just fo funsies ₊·◟(˶╹̆ꇴ╹̆˵)◜‧･
Can we please talk about the fandoms mistreatment of the House Of Godric Gryffindor? because Im so sick of the way people portray gryffindors as impulsive loud meat heads who have no thoughts.
The House of Godric Gryffindor Values the following traits
Integrity
Courage
Conviction
Vitality
Nerve
Chivalry
These Traits, I feel jk rowling being the abhorrant writer that she is, failed to expound on. Currently the harry potter fandom is taking all of gryffindors positive traits and fishing it off to Hufflepuff or Slytherin for the sole reason of some twisted revenge, you can go ahead and say its 'not that deep' and youre right, its not, but shallow waters need to be stepped into in order to determine their depth.
All houses-- in order to compensate for the depth jk rowling failed to give them-- have resorted to stripping away gryffindors depth and stealing it for themselves in a desperate attempt to add nuance into their house values.
First off lets address the fact that hogwarts houses arent sorted on the basis of your personality but on your values. That means even snape, who most people in this fandom stupidly believe is a gryffindor could be sorted into slytherin if he so chooses to prioritise his ambitions over his integrity, you fools.
Gryffindors are sorted into their houses not on the basis of their impulsivity but the strength of their integrity and conviction. when one has a motive strong enough to defend, they will become impulsive. This is why slytherins aren't impulsive people because ambition requires calculation. Hufflepuffs are steady because loyalty and community requires diligence. Ravenclaws are Avoidant because intelligence requires analysis which fuels individualism(one of their house values) and this is why most people think gryffindors are 'impulsive meatheads', because gryffindors value something that can only be defended by impulsivity. gryffindors value strong conviction and courage meaning they are so incredibly self sacrificing for their values (which every house is, as nymphadora sacrificed herself for loyalty, Helena sacrificed her life just to not hand over her intellectual autonomy, Voldemort sacrificed his soul for his ambition) that in the face of danger they would rather march head on and than sit back and wait.
Gryffindors legit HAVE to be impulsive in some way to protect their values because chivalry requires it just as ambition requires calculation. they arent meat heads, infact minerva mcgonagal and hermione granger were the most intelligent people in the books and were constantly showed as people who used their intellect as a tool to do whats right but in the end their hearts had the final vote over their heads.
A Ravenclaw uses their intellect as a way to avoid danger whereas a gryffindor uses their intellect as a contingency plan before stepping into danger. Hermione wasnt in gryffindor just because she was small minded but also because she relied on her intelligence to get her out of trouble, not to avoid it entirely.
One thing people often say is that Gryffs are Glory seekers. have.. we read the same book???? Because yes some gryffindors are glory seekers and that is their houses common flaw just like any other house has their flaws (slytherin for selfishness/cruelty, Hufflepuffs for being Compliant/dependent, Ravenclaws for being Pretentious/Withdrawn) yet i dont see other houses having their flaws as highlighted as gryffindors' in mainstream media?
Neville longbottom is the best example of a true gryffindor. people take nevilles characteristics and plaster them on hufflepuffs claiming that hufflepuffs are more righteous and better versions of gryffs because.. they are humble?.. there are countless characters in gryffindor who were incredibly humble starting off with Lily potter who was defined as 'uncommonly kind'.
The House of Helga Hufflepuff Values the following Traits
Diligence
Community
Modesty
Fairness
Patience
Loyalty
these are all passive, communal, external traits, and by that I mean these traits dont value inner principles and integrity but rather fairness on the basis of societal principles. hufflepuffs dont value fairness the way gryffindors value integrity because integrity is an internal moral code and Fairness is an externally based value.
a hufflepuff values fairness because that is what creates a fair community and ensures equality so that everyone may have an opportunity. Gryffindors value their Morality because anything otherwise is simply wrong and unjust, they judge on the basis of their individual morals not taking into consideration what affect that may have on the community but rather the affects it may have on the individual. (thats not to say that hufflepuffs are dependent as a group or that they dont have individualism and integrity, they do, its just not what they VALUEEE PEOPLE *gosh personality and values are different*)
a hufflepuff would prefer peace and so they wouldnt take part in war unless its out of loyalty because they view war as something that is unfair and they would much rather remain passive then fall prey to an unfair system. But a Gryffindor would know that war is something that is inevitable to achieve peace and if you dont correct the system yourself then you are just as bad because to a gryffindor being a bystander is a fate as good as death for them.
Gryffindor isnt the loud stupid impulsive house nor is it the hero house, its the house of conviction and you cant be brave if you wait around for a green light saying yup this is the safest way for you. We gryffindors would be reckless and put OUR lives in danger but we would ensure with everything we've got that the heat is only directed towards us and no one takes the damage but us. when faced with the choice of doing what you think is right our bodies move like a machine before a thought is made up and yes thats reckless we admit it, but every house falls into a bad trait when faced with the fear of failure
Slytherins fall into cruelty or selfishness when faced with failure
Gryffindors fall into Recklessness and Self righteousness when faced with injustice
Ravenclaws fall into Pretentiousness or Apathy when facing belittlement
Hufflepuff fall into stagnation or compliance when faced with Discord
The stereotype that gryffindors aren't humble-- when integrity is literally their core value and most people view modesty as a part of their moral code-- is simply insaneeeee.
Also can we pleaseeee change the aesthetic for gryffindors as we have for the other houses because the whole cozy kitschy weasley aesthetic is so tasteless and ew, thank you very much.
Gryffindors should be portrayed as lions in silk rather than wool and hot chocolate just as slytherins have branded themselves with champagne and elegance.
also ykw while we're at it lemme just remind you of the other houses core values
The House of Salazar Slytherin Values the following traits
Fraternity
Ambition
Shrewdness
Calculation
Resourcefulness
Strategy
The House of Rowena Ravenclaw Values the following traits
Individualism
Wit
Knowledge
Observation
Creativity
Intelligence
there. now stick to these.
All Houses are equal. the sorting hat never makes mistake only jkr does. Stop comparing the houses. There can be,
a bitchy Hufflepuff
a snooty elitist Gryffindor
an awkward and kind Slytherin
a punkish loud Ravenclaw
Because values and personalities are very very very different and none is greater than the other.
also fuck those bitches making them hogwarts party tiktoks because why is there so much house racism towards gryffindors
NO WE WOULDNT SNITCH AND WE LEGIT HAVE NERVE AS OUR VALUE WE'D OUT PARTY ALL YOU BITCHES 🖕🏼
not a random boy au
summary: for a long, gruelling minute, angelina is under the impression that her best friend has a crush on her boyfriend. but no, that's the wrong twin.
wc: 1.3k+
At first, Angelina thinks you have a crush on her boyfriend.
It starts one day over the summer before your last year at hogwarts. You’re spending the day at hers, and after exhausting hours spent at the pool, committed to the summer tan you wanted oh so badly, you’ve both approached the hour of lazying around after a long, tiring shower. You'd taken to the carpeted floor of Angelina's bedroom, slumping down on a soft pillow, hair still damp, now laying in your pyjamas. Angelina is replying to a letter from George while you flick through a quidditch magazine.
“Hey, want to be in this photo?” Angelina asks, pulling out her polaroid camera from a drawer by her bed. “To George?” Angelina nods and you shrug yes, straightening up and turning to face the camera that she turns to face the pair of you. You smile casually in the photo intended for your friend, turning back to the magazine as Angelina rewatches the photo playback. She smiles softly “We look cute in that.”
“Then keep it. The man doesn’t deserve it.”
Angelina laughs. Nothing is suspicious to her at this point — obviously. But a few days later, you see another letter addressed to Angelina from Fred and George, and the instant she pulls out her camera, you’re fluffing up your hair and turning your shoulder to the camera cutely as you lean in closer to Angelina, perfectly smiling for the camera. Your best friend doesn’t comment on your sudden change in behaviour, but she furrows her brows as she watches the moving image appear on the sheet of plastic after you've taken the photo.
You take a peek over her shoulder, asking “Wait, do I look good?” and that’s when Angelina feels her heart drop. She turns the photo towards you, and you nod in approval. Angelina shoots you a blank stare before turning her gaze back to the image, noting the way you press yourself against her in the image, hands gently placed on Angelina’s arm, looking into the camera with an angelic gleam in your eyes, smile on full display.
Angelina swears to herself that if she finds out you’re doing all that for her boyfriend, she’s going to pounce on you. But for now, she gives you the benefit of the doubt, because after all, you’ve been her best friend for six years, and she might as well just be imagining things. So Angelina clears her throat and attaches the image to the letter before folding it into an envelope and sending it off.
“They’re inviting us to the Burrow tomorrow for a lake day.” You jerk forward at Angelina’s statement, grimacing as you echo “Tomorrow!? Ugh, that means I need to shave tonight.” Angelina glances down at your exposed legs, shrugging at the short hairs decorating your skin. “You know Fred and George don’t care about that stuff.”
She sees you becoming flustered, averting your eyes from hers as you chew on your bottom lip. “Yeah, but — I don’t know.”
Three months ago, you wouldn’t have cared if the hairs on your legs were fully grown before wearing shorts around the twins. Angelina bites her tongue, nostrils flaring as she thinks of a method to find out if you actually like her boyfriend or not, otherwise she’ll drive herself crazy.
“Yeah, I get it. I mean, I want to impress George even though he doesn’t mind my body hair. Even down - you know where.”
You laugh loudly, digging your face into one of Angelina’s pillows as you yell “Angie! Gross!”
“Oh please, you’ve never complained about the details of my sex life before!”
“Yes I have! Doesn’t mean I don’t want to keep hearing them though. Keep them coming. Please.”
Obviously, you and Angelina agree to meet up before going over to the Burrow, despite her conflicting feelings. But at least it means that when you floo over there, she gets to witness your exact reaction to seeing her boyfriend, and she can decide on whether to jump you or not. While she gives George a long hug, Angelina misses the excited smile you shoot Fred, who’s still halfway across the living room. She pulls away from George, watching as you loosely hug him, keeping your hands respectfully on his shoulders. There’s a lot of space between your bodies, and your casual ‘hey’ confuses Angelina, especially when one of your hands pats his shoulder in an almost brotherly manner.
Was she imagining things this whole time?
But then she sees the way your make eye contact with Fred, and notices the way your eyes light up as he comes closer to you, arms extended for a hug. You press yourself onto your tippy toes as you drape your arms over Fred’s shoulders, face digging into the crook of his neck. Fred’s arms are tight around your waist, his hands placed on your back, bodies pressed snugly against each other. You sway a little in the hug, and when you pull away, a smile still lingers on your lips.
Angelina internally scolds herself, arms hanging loosely by her sides, because how did she not notice?
Angelina can’t help the wide smile from making its way onto her face — both in joy that you don’t have a crush on her boyfriend and in utter disbelief. It’s so obvious. She clears her throat in a poor attempt to recompose herself as Fred gives her a quick side hug, but you’ve seen the look on her face. You know she knows.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” She whispers to you on the way out of the house, and you shrug, cheeks tight with the smile that’s on your face. God, you missed Fred so much. “I’ve been dropping hints to you for a month now.” And, she can’t exactly argue with you, because when she looks at things retrospectively, even your small actions from the past two days make sense. Like the way you didn’t care about how you looked in an image just to George but posed like a model in one she sent to the twins — to Fred.
Angelina speeds her pace up, skipping to her boyfriend joyously and coincidentally, Fred slows his down so he can walk with you towards the lake. “It’s good to see you.” Fred says with a smile, looking down at you.
“Yeah, you too. Two weeks of summer without your pretty face around was a mistake.” Fred laughs, bumping his shoulder with yours.
You drop your bag on the floor alongside where Angelina and George have laid their things out, sliding your feet out of your flip flops. “We can put the blanket out,” Angelina starts, raising a hand up to her eyes to protect them from the sun. “You guys go test the water or something.”
“Uh, what if I want to go test the water?” You ask, but Angelina rolls her eyes, tossing the big beach mat at you, and you manage to catch it despite your eyes being glued to a now shirtless Fred Weasley. You huff in mock annoyance but begin helping her out anyway, sitting down on the mat in triumph as you strip off your top. Angelina moves to stand in front of you, hands on her hips, eyes squinted at you in battle with the sun.
“You know, for a second there, I thought you had a crush on George.”
You snort out a graceless laugh, leaning back on your elbows as you loosely shrug your shoulders. “That explains why you were being a bitch.”
Angelina laughs, joining you on the mat. She observes George, biting the inside of her cheek as she internally scolds herself again. Why on earth would you have a crush on her boyfriend? “Yeah I was, wasn’t I? Whatever. You do know I’m going to try setting you guys up now, right?”
“Uh, don't insult me like that. I don’t need help with men. Give me two days and he'll be on his knees for me.”
૭ the hospital wing — ꒰ theodore nott x fem!reader ꒱ !
𓍯 summary you occasionally help madam pomfrey in the hospital wing, wanting to gain experience for the future. upon learning this, theo makes it his mission to go there every time you’re there.
𓍯 word count 4.5k
𓍯 warnings mentions of violences, bruises, injury, mentions of fevers
𓍯 author's note i may have self projected with this one wanting to be a nurse and all... but this was too cute i had to write it! my requests are now open, so feel free to send in anything you want me to write! hope you all enjoy, likes and reblogs are appreciated as always ♡
Somehow, in some way, you had managed to convince Madam Pomfrey that she needed an assistant in the hospital wing. And that that assistant should be you.
Wanting to become a Healer at St. Mungo’s in the future, you decided that this experience was needed and would potentially boost you in the ranks. Having a good relationship with Madam Pomfrey prior to you asking helped eternally.
You could only help out on the weekends and some nights due to your classes, education always coming first. Madam Pomfrey would always give you the mundane tasks: replacing the sheets, making the beds, ordering refills, and giving food to the patients. While they were boring, you still gained valuable experience from it.
The first time she let you treat patients was when five boys came into the hospital wing, all bloodied and bruised. It was certainly a sight to see, something unusual for a plain Tuesday night. Three Slytherins and two Gryffindors.
You knew the two Gryffindors, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. You were quite surprised they landed themselves in the hospital wing, but knowing their reputation of never leaving things alone, it also made sense.
However, you didn’t know two of the Slytherins. You knew Draco Malfoy because he constantly roamed the halls, terrorizing the first and second years. You learned upon some listening that the other two’s names were Mattheo Riddle and Blaise Zabini. Why they all got into a fight, you didn’t know.
Madam Pomfrey quickly called you over to tend to Mattheo who got the least of the bunch. You weren’t sure why he had a surprised look on his face as he heard your name and saw you walking over to him, but you brushed it off.
“We’ll go over here,” you pointed to a bed closest to the door, waiting for him to settle down on it. Once he did, you quickly walked off to the supply cabinet, excitement coursing through you. Finally, you got to heal someone.
You didn’t see Blaise and Draco’s surprised looks as you passed them.
Humming softly, you made your way back over to Mattheo. From rumors you heard that he was a flirt, flirting with anything that had legs. But surprisingly, he was quiet this whole time. You didn’t think much of it, grateful that you didn’t have to make much conversation with him apart from checking up on him.
“Are you normally here?” Mattheo asked out of the blue, his eyebrows raised and eyes squinted as you assessed him. You paused for a moment, caught off guard by that question.
“Only on the weekends and some nights when I don’t have a pile of schoolwork.” you answered easily, eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Why?”
A smirk formed on Mattheo’s face, shaking his head as he responded. “No reason. It’s just that I’m commonly here and have never seen you here before.” You nodded your head slowly, eyeing him suspiciously. You quickly jumped back into your caretaking, giving him a potion to heal his cuts easily.
“You may still have the bruises for a couple of days, but they shouldn’t hurt that much. I’ll get Madam Pomfrey to check you over.” you explained, before leaving his bedside. He nodded, still suspiciously quiet for someone like him.
You didn’t catch the knowing look he sent to Draco and Blaise.
Theodore Nott was one that never wanted to get into fights, opting to stay in the back. A quiet and reserved boy he was, he didn’t want to get into much trouble and do things that would bring attention to him. Here and there he was roped into them by none other than Mattheo, which led to a detention he didn’t want on his record.
When Mattheo returned back to the common room that night he spotted Theo sitting at a table with Lorenzo, entirely focused on his homework. He quickly made his way over to them, sitting next to Theo with a mischievous look on his face. Theo hadn’t noticed him, too enamored over his Transfiguration homework.
Lorenzo kicked Theo’s leg from under the table when he realized that Theo didn’t spot the boy sitting next to him. He furrowed his brows, looking over Mattheo. When he didn’t say anything, Theo sighed, narrowing his eyes towards him. “What?” Theo asked, waiting for him to say what he wanted to say.
A cheeky smile formed on Mattheo’s face once he got his friend’s attention. “Oh nothing. I just returned from the hospital wing.” he spoke, drumming his fingers on the table.
“I’m aware.” Theo spoke slowly, trying to figure out what was going on in Mattheo’s mind. “I’m taking it the other two won’t be returning until later?”
“Correct. Malfoy’s got a broken nose and Zabini’s got a broken jaw. But that’s not the point!” Mattheo spoke quickly, adjusting himself in his seat. He cast Lorenzo a look, before looking back at Theo. “Your girl treated me. She works at the hospital wing some days.” he spoke with a grin, noticing Theo’s falter.
Theo knew exactly who they were talking about but didn’t want it to be known. He raised an eyebrow, feigning an expression of confusion. “My girl?”
Enzo rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “Oh come on, Nott, you know exactly who he’s talking about.” Enzo piped in, receiving a death glare from Theo.
Once Mattheo said your name Theo swore the universe was coming together. Now he finally had an excuse to talk to you, to see you, and to look at you without being teased.
The boys knew about Theo’s not-so-tiny infatuation with you. He was always staring at you during class, in the Great Hall, even during passing in the corridors. But would he ever talk to you? Merlin, no. You were always either with your group of friends or so enamored in your books that you didn’t notice anyone was around you.
How did he develop this little crush? He didn’t know. All he knew was that one day he saw you and immediately knew you weren’t like the rest. You weren’t loud, you weren’t cruel, and you most certainly weren’t outgoing. Your quietness drew him towards you, but it also led him to fear you. In the way he was too scared to approach you, of course.
“Alright. And what do you want me to do with this information?” Theo asked, as if he wasn’t planning ways to go to the hospital wing already.
Both of the boys rolled their eyes and groaned, spending the rest of the night convincing Theodore to just go to the hospital wing to see you. And finally make a move.
The first time Theo went down to the hospital wing was on a Thursday evening, hoping you were there.
It was a quite lame reason to be going to the hospital wing, to be honest. But what could he do? He just wanted to see you!
To his luck you were there tying on your apron, signaling that you had just gotten there as well. He smiled and then quickly wiped it away, knowing he had to act as if he was in some sort of pain.
You hadn't noticed him yet, too preoccupied with pinning up your hair and making sure you had all of your things for the evening. As he stared at you, Madam Pomfrey broke him out of his trance, making you turn your head towards him.
“What’s the matter, dear?” Madam Pomfrey asked him. He blinked and looked away from you, caught slightly off guard.
“I cut myself.” he spoke blankly, holding up his finger. “I was… er… cutting up some ingredients for potions and cut myself on accident.”
Madam Pomfrey raised her eyebrows, as did you. “Well, that’s an easy fix,” she called out your name. As you approached them you gave Theo a small smile, and he swore his stomach turned inside out. “She can help you. I have to tend to some other students.” she explained and then walked away.
Theo made eye contact with you finally, giving you a small smile he never gave anyone. He shocked himself with his own actions. You were saying something, lips moving, but he didn’t quite catch it. Then all of a sudden you were walking away, and he quickly rushed after you.
“You won’t have to stay here long because it’s just a little cut,” you explained softly, setting him down on a bed. You sat down next to him, grabbing his hand gently to examine the cut. “How much does it hurt?”
Too overwhelmed with the sensation of your hand on his and your perfume lingering in the air, he choked on his words. When you looked up at him because he didn’t respond, he managed to finally form some words. “Not… not bad, yeah.” he replied quietly, his heart leaping out of his chest at how close you were.
You smiled and nodded your head, letting go of his hand. “Some Murtlap Essence should treat that quickly. Stay here, I’ll be right back.” you spoke quickly, getting up and going to the back. He watched as you retreated to some cabinets, grabbing something out of it. But he wasn’t entirely focused on what you were getting.
Theo was deeply regretting this decision. He found himself unable to speak to you without stuttering, and he didn’t know how to act right near you. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and straightened up, resuming his plan. He just hoped that you didn’t send another smile at him, otherwise he feared that he would need a real reason to stay at the hospital wing that night.
Once you came back with a tiny bowl of Murtlap Essence, you handed it to him. “Place this on your lap and just dip your finger into it. Your cut should be gone in no time.” you explained, watching him put his finger into the bowl. He raised his eyebrows and looked up at you, and you nodded.
You moved away from the bed, grabbing a clipboard from the nightstand. You turned back towards Theo, a small smile creeping up on your face at his look of disgust towards the bowl. “Some people do find it gross, but I promise it works.” you reassured him, a little giggle escaping your lips. He looked up at you, feeling as if he could melt. But all he did was nod.
After a moment, he finally spoke. “Does feel a bit weird. How long do I have to do this for?” he asked, ignoring the way his heart was thumping rapidly.
“Ten minutes or so. Your cut wasn’t that deep, so you should be fine.” you answered, and he nodded his head. There was something in the air, a steadiness around the two of you. “I just need a bit of information from you,” you started and showed him the clipboard. “Just your name and house would do. Madam Pomfrey will fill the rest out.”
A small pang shot through Theo’s chest. Either you really didn’t know his name or you were just playing dumb. It’s not like he expected you to know his name, but he must have thought you would have at least heard something about him. He cleared his throat, straightening up a bit. “Theodore Nott. Slytherin.” he responded quietly.
You hummed, filling the clipboard out with a pen. “Theodore. Nice to meet you.” you smiled down at him and told him your name. For once a genuine smile appeared on his face, the way his name slipped from your lips felt almost perfect.
“Call me Theo.” he spoke back, his confidence growing again. Your smile widened slightly and you nodded your head.
“Theo.” you repeated, and you swore you saw his eyes light up.
It became somewhat of a ritual, Theo coming in at least three times a week just to see you. Whether it be because of a papercut or because he was dragging Mattheo in after a fight, he always found a way to come in. Madam Pomfrey caught on quickly, noticing how the boy came in for the littlest things. She always sent him to you, saying she had more important matters to tend to. Even though she didn’t.
You noticed that he came in on three specific days: Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday. You had told him one day that those were the days you were always there, alternating between the other days based on how much schoolwork and studying you had to do. He remembered it all.
You would be lying if you said you didn’t find him endearing; it’s not like he was annoying, no. It was just a little silly to be constantly coming into the hospital wing. But who were you to complain, you loved seeing him there.
Today was another silly excuse to be here. It was a Saturday morning and you had just started, planning on only being there for two or three hours. It was a very slow morning, Madam Pomfrey once again giving you the mundane tasks. That was until Theo came in.
He came in with that signature smirk of his, strolling right up to you and past Madam Pomfrey. She simply raised her eyebrows and smiled, used to Theo coming in almost every time you were here now.
“What is it this time, Theo?” you asked, a gentle smile on your face as he walked up to you. He gave a small cough, the smirk still on his face.
“Sick.” he answered, though he looked far from it. You rolled your eyes, but the smile stayed on your face.
“Really? You look perfectly fine to me.” you replied, eyeing him. You made your way to the back, going to organize all the potions from a shipment that just came in. He just shrugged casually, practically chasing after you as you walked away from him. He pouted, stopping right in front of you.
“No, really. Feel my forehead,” he spoke with a pout, “make me feel better, infermiera. I’m burning up.” he teased, fighting the urge to smile at your expression.
You narrowed your eyes at him, reluctantly placing the back of your hand on his forehead. You raised your eyebrows, feeling nothing. “You feel and look perfectly fine, Theo.” you said, raising your eyebrows as that smirk crept on his face again.
“I guess being around you makes my temperature spike.” he said with an easy confidence, causing you to pause for a moment. He noticed your flustered state, and took it as a good sign. Before he could say anything you cleared your throat, a sarcastic smile on your face.
“Very funny Theo,” you started, shaking your head and walking away from him. “If that’s true, then I think you’re just here to see me.” you said sarcastically, laughing at your own words.
When you first met Theo you had no idea who he was. But after the first meeting and days of classes, his name was the only one you could hear. You heard rumors about him—that he’s unavailable, a major flirt, quiet, rude, kind—everything. You didn’t know what to think about him.
That was until he kept showing up at the hospital wing, changing your view of him. He was a flirt, and he did seem quiet, but something that surprised you was that he had a good heart.
He would come into the hospital wing to pick a Pepperup potion for students in the younger years when they needed one. He always brought his friends in after they got into fights and stayed with them until they were fixed up. He also always followed Madam Pomfrey’s rules, promptly leaving when he saw it got too busy or when she simply told him to leave.
So you may have developed a little crush on him. But you never thought he would think of you as anything more than Madam Pomfrey’s assistant that he could easily bother.
Too wrapped up in your own thoughts, you didn’t notice Theo frozen in his spot at your words. Sure, he wasn’t being the most subtle when it came for his feelings about you. However, something about you knowing made it feel a little bit too real. He was trying to hide them but also make it known, see if you maybe felt the same way he did.
He cleared his throat, the smirk on his face once again. “Looks like you’ve got me all figured out.” he replied softly. You picked it up as a joke, rolling your eyes at him with a smile on your face. Oblivious to his real feelings, you convinced yourself that everything he did was for entertainment. But you secretly wished they weren’t.
Theo was actually hurt the next time he went to the hospital wing. During Quidditch practice one of the beaters accidentally sent the bludger flying towards him, knocking him off his broom. Luckily, it wasn’t that far of a fall. Unfortunately for him he had to spend a couple of nights in the hospital wing due to a broken arm.
Sunday afternoon you were just about wrapping up, when all of a sudden Theo was being hauled in by Mattheo. A flash of panic and confusion shot through you. Was this him just being silly again? No, if he was just stopping by he wouldn’t look extremely tired and he would be able to walk fine.
You were frozen in your spot until Madam Pomfrey rushed past you, going straight up to Theo. Mattheo dropped him off on a bed and you immediately stood beside him, looking down at Theo who was now lying down on the bed. “What happened?” you quickly asked Mattheo as Madam Pomfrey assessed Theo.
“Damn bludger hit him and he fell off his broom.” Mattheo explained, shaking his head. He looked over at you and saw your wide eyes and nervous expression and immediately tried to reassure you. “It wasn’t much of a fall, but it seems to have done some damage.” he muttered lowly, bringing his eyes back to Theo.
You gulped, your eyes shifting down to Theo. His eyes were unfocused and glazed, shifting around the room in search of you. When he saw you, a playful smile formed on his face. “Can’t kick me out now.” he teased, wincing slightly as Madam Pomfrey moved his arm. You rolled your eyes, a small but nervous smile on your face.
Madam Pomfrey had signaled you to get something, breaking eye contact with Theo. You rushed over to grab whatever potions she needed and brought it over, not catching the knowing smirk on Mattheo’s face. Madam Pomfrey had used a quick spell to repair his bones, but that didn’t mean he didn't feel pain from it.
Once Madam Pomfrey treated him to the best she could for now, Mattheo had left the hospital wing and it was just you two. You sat down on the chair near Theo’s bed, fiddling with your fingers. “How’re you feeling?” you asked softly, assessing him over a million times.
He could see the stress and nervousness in your eyes, and tried to reach out his arm towards you. Unfortunately he had forgotten which arm was broken and groaned at the sudden pain, immediately retracting it back. That only heightened your stress, about to say something before he spoke first. “Hurts just a tad bit. Nothing Pomfrey can’t fix. Plus, I have my favorite infermiera with me.” he tried to joke playfully, but you could clearly see the pain etched in his face.
“Well don’t you ever fall off a broom again, because you’ll stress this in-fare-me-era out!” you huffed, struggling slightly on the nickname Theo gave you. You crossed your arms as he let out a low laugh, his eyes on yours.
“Glad to know you care about me that much.” Theo teased, a sort of dopey smile on his face. You could feel heat rising through your body, narrowing your eyes at him. You tried to play nonchalant, but it obviously wasn’t working.
“Well, I happen to care about everybody who comes into the hospital wing.” you countered, picking at your sleeves. You weren’t letting him know you really did care about him in more than a friendly way. Not now, at least.
“Sure you do. But I just happen to be your favorite.” he spoke proudly, that stupid smile never leaving his face. You couldn’t help but smile at it, rolling your eyes once again.
“Right. I’ll let you think that because you're in a great state of pain right now.” You adjusted yourself in your seat, uncrossing your arms. “But I do prefer you visiting me when you’re faking an illness or injury, not when you’re actually injured.”
His smile softened, something leaping in his chest at your words. “Noted. I’ll make sure not to get hurt ever again.” he teased playfully, a small silence settling between you two.
It was as if you two were the only ones in the world, Theo’s pain fading away as he looked at you. He swore he could see something more than friendly in your gaze; an unexpected burst of confidence shot through him. “Hey,” he called out your name softly, bringing you back to reality.
“Hm?” you hummed, your eyes never leaving his. Your heart fluttered at his soft gaze on you, anticipating something you hoped he would do.
“How would you like to—,” he started, but was abruptly cut off by Madam Pomfrey calling your name. In your little daze, you didn’t notice another student had come into the hospital wing. You looked around, your eyes landing on a boy being ushered into a bed.
You widened your eyes, promptly getting up. “I’m sorry, Theo! I’ll be right back!” you promised, sending a strained smile his way. Before he could respond you were already off, leaving him all alone on his bed. He frowned, watching your retreating figure. Of course the first time he had grown the balls to ask you out, the universe had decided it was the perfect time for you to be away from him.
And to make matters worse, you didn’t return to him that night. Probably because he fell asleep the moment you left him.
Theo stayed in the hospital wing for two more days, mostly because Madam Pomfrey wanted to make sure everything was okay. You were busy with studying and homework, the looming pressure of exams coming up. Every day Theo was stuck in his bed he hoped you arrived, hoped that you would seek him out like he did you.
It was silly, he thought, to have done all this hopeful wishing and thinking. He felt pathetic, something he’s never felt before. He didn’t know if you thought of them as friends—maybe you thought of him as the annoying boy who came in every day you were there. How he wished it wasn’t that.
The last night he was there Madam Pomfrey told him he had a visitor, all with a knowing smile on her face. Theo didn’t pick up on it, assuming it was either Mattheo or Lorenzo. They had probably snuck dessert for him. He surely wasn’t expecting you.
“Hey,” you spoke softly, a nervous smile on your face as you walked into his area. You had no idea what possessed you to come down here—you were supposed to be studying.
He looked up quickly at the sound of your voice, a bright smile forming on his face. He adjusted himself into a sitting position, his eyes locked on yours. “I almost thought you wouldn’t show.” he murmured, watching as you approached him.
“Of course I would. I even got you a little something.” You handed him a little box wrapped with a bow, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet as you watched him nervously. You couldn’t sit down, too anxious about his response.
He seemed shocked at the gift, his eyes softening a fraction. He noticed your nervous habit, immediately opening the box to alleviate your mind. Inside the box was a Pepperup potion, Murtlap Essence in a bottle, an Essence of Dittany, and some bandages of all sizes. He laughed at the contents of the gift, looking up at you with a smile. “Is this you saying you want me to stop coming to bother you?” he teased.
You widened your eyes, shaking your head frantically and starting to ramble. “Oh, no! Just a little something in case I’m not in the hospital one day. You don’t bother me, in fact you—,”
“Relax, dolcezza,” Theo spoke gently, reaching his hand out to hold yours. You paused at his touch, freezing in your spot. He noticed it, a small smirk forming on his face as he pulled you closer, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “It’s good. I’ll make good use out of it.” he reassured you, noticing how your breathing became uneven.
For a moment you just stared at him, until you blinked away from him. You threw a smile on your face, wrapping your fingers with his. “Good,” you murmured, sitting down in the chair next to his, holding his hand. “I don’t want to scare you off or anything.” you confessed, looking down at your intertwined hands.
Theo smiled softly, still brushing his thumb over your knuckles. “You could never. Plus, I’m taking you to Hogsmeade next Saturday, aren’t I?” he more so told you than asked, his smile widening at the shocked expression on your face. The courage came out of nowhere, both you and him not expecting the words to come out of his mouth.
“I—,” you stuttered, obviously caught off guard by his words. You shifted in your seat, making eye contact to make sure he wasn’t joking. “Are you asking me out, Theodore Nott?” you asked him skeptically, finding it so foreign that the boy who never took girls out was asking you out.
He chuckled, nodding his head. “Yes I am, and I can only hope my favorite infermiera will say yes to me.” he spoke softly, his hand squeezing yours. Despite his confident demeanor, he was actually terrified of you rejecting him. He would leave Hogwarts and never show his face again to you and the rest of the students just to hide from the embarrassment.
You sat there for a moment, just watching him, double checking that he wasn’t playing a prank on you. Finally, after his smile started fading away and a nervous expression rose on his face, you had answered. “I would love to go on a date with you next Saturday.” you grinned, bringing your chair closer to his bed.
He mirrored your grin, and for once he had let his guard down. He brought your hand to his lips, brushing them against your knuckles. “A date it is. Tell Pomfrey you’re unavailable on Saturday. You’re only going to be with me.”
At that you snorted, rolling your eyes. You did tell Madam Pomfrey that you were unavailable on Saturday once you were on your way out, and she only gave you a small nod with a knowing smile.
Fred, George, and Lee have been avoiding you all day and you’ve had enough. When you blackmail your way into the Gryffindor common room to confront them, you don’t expect Fred to start bombarding you with strange compliments. You definitely don’t expect what comes next.
———————————————————————
It started at breakfast.
You were late. You’d overslept after a long night studying, your robes slightly askew, one sock barely matching the other. Your hair was still damp from a rushed spell, but you didn’t care, because you spotted them instantly.
Fred, George, and Lee. Your best friends since First year.
They were clustered near the middle of the Gryffindor table, heads bowed together in hushed laughter over something probably dangerous and definitely not approved by any adult with a brain. It was your favorite thing about them, really. The way chaos seemed to orbit around them like they were made of gravity and trouble. It made life interesting.
Your feet were already moving toward them before you realised.
Fred looked up just as you reached the bench, mid-laugh, his eyes bright. Something about that made your stomach flutter in that embarrassing way it always did when he looked at you like that. You’d harboured a very secret crush on the boy since Fourth year when he’d sent you a Dwarf-Valentine.
You’d been upset that no one had been interested in giving you one, so to cheer you up he’d gotten you one telling you what a great friend and excellent witch you were. The thoughtfulness and unexpected sweetness of the gesture had you falling head over heels in no time. You’d been a goner since then.
You smiled and slid onto the bench. “What’d I miss?”
Fred blinked, mouth opening like he had something to say - then he glanced to George. George’s eyebrows twitched once, a silent message passed between brothers in a blink.
“Actually,” George said, shooting upright and clapping his hands together, “we’ve got to go.”
“Go?” you echoed, laughing lightly. “Where?”
“Greenhouse,” Lee added, already pushing back from the bench.
“Heard something’s exploding,” George said quickly, grabbing a cold slice of toast like it was a getaway snack. “Don’t want to miss it!”
Before you could blink, they were out the doors, laughing again as they vanished. You sat there, alone on the bench, staring at their empty seats.
Weird.
You stabbed your spoon into your porridge with a little more force than necessary, but it wasn’t enough to set off alarm bells just yet. After all, the boys were always hurrying off to execute elaborate pranks.
Later that day, after double potions, was when you started to notice something might be amiss.
Snape had been especially vicious that day, stalking around the room like a bloodhound with something to prove. Fred had dropped a beaker. It had exploded. Snape’s robes were still faintly steaming. And then Fred had the gall to tell Snape his hair was looking particularly greasy today, which earned him a detention and a deduction of 10 points from Gryffindor.
Still, the class had ended. And you’d hoped - expected - you’d walk to Care of Magical Creatures with the boys like always. You’d been paired with a Hufflepuff this time in class, but you packed up fast and trotted after the trio as they left the dungeon.
You caught them in the hallway just beyond the staircase. “Oi! Wait up!” you called.
Lee turned, smile flickering across his face. “Hey! That was brutal, yeah?”
“Snape nearly swallowed his tongue when your beaker shattered,” you teased, nudging Fred.
The Weasley boy laughed, but it was tight. Shorter than usual. His hand scrubbed through his hair like he didn’t know what to do with his limbs.
“Actually,” George said suddenly, “we need to check on something.”
“In the greenhouse,” Lee said smoothly, already pulling Fred’s arm.
You frowned. “Didn’t you just go there? At breakfast?”
George nodded, too quickly. “Y-yeah, but, different thing. Something with the…mandrakes.”
“Mandrakes?” you echoed skeptically. “What could you possibly need with those? They scream bloody murder when you touch them.”
“Right,” George said. “So we have to touch them very carefully.”
Fred gave you a quick, apologetic look - eyes darting down, cheeks flushing a little - and then let himself be pulled away again.
You watched them disappear around the corner, your chest tightening, your breath catching on a question you couldn’t quite ask.
———————————————————————
You didn’t plan to stalk them.
You just happened to overhear Fred telling Angelina that he’d be in the library during free period doing ‘research’.
Fred Weasley? Research? As if.
It was obviously a lie. Or a cover. But part of you still clung to the hope that maybe it was all in your head and they weren’t avoiding you.
You brought a few books to make it look casual. Waited outside the doors, leaning against the wall, ear tilted toward the hushed shuffle of pages and whispers inside. You stared at the flickering torchlight against the stone and reminded yourself not to be weird. Not to be clingy.
They’d come out. You’d walk together. Like always.
Then, movement. You spotted them sneaking out a side entrance.
All three of them - Fred, George, and Lee - hunched over like they were avoiding Filch himself, looking side to side before scuttling toward the Charms corridor.
Your heart sank. They hadn’t seen you. And you didn’t call out.
You just stared as their silhouettes faded into the shadows, something cold settling in your throat. It was obvious they were up to something, which was not the usual part. The usual part was that the four of you were always up to something together. So why had hey left you out?
Your fingers clenched around your books so tightly the parchment covers creased.
Later that afternoon in Transfiguration was the worst one yet. That was when you finally admitted to yourself that they were actively avoiding you.
You were sat at your usual desk, which you normally shared with Fred. You were pretending to study while the classroom filled up, but you couldn’t focus on any of the words your eyes skimmed over.
You felt…off. Like you were waiting for something you couldn’t admit to wanting.
You heard the door swing open again and your head snapped up, too quickly.
Fred stepped in, scarf askew and hair wind-blown, cheeks flushed pink from the cold. His eyes landed on you - on the empty seat beside you waiting expectantly for him to occupy it - and he froze. The hope that had bubbled up in your chest fizzled out instantly.
He looked guilty. Not surprised. Not excited. Not even sheepish. Guilty.
“Hey!” you said, forcing cheer into your voice, trying not to sound too eager. “I’ve been looking for—”
“He forgot something!” George shouted from beside Fred, louder than necessary.
“What?” You frowned.
He turned to Fred, patting his arm. “Right? You forgot something important!”
Lee immediately stepped forward, grabbing the older twin’s. “Yes. Very urgent. Explosion-related.”
They turned and ran. Actually ran.
You sat there, your skin prickling with heat. Your face felt like it had been slapped. Not dramatically. Not cruelly. Just…dismissed. Like you didn’t matter.
You stood up slowly, your vision stinging. Anger pulsed beneath the surface - hot, fast, desperate. This wasn’t a coincidence anymore. This had to be on purpose. Something cracked inside you, and you’d already started scheming up a little plot of your own.
It took you less than five minutes after Transfiguration to find Neville Longbottom. The last person who’d made it into the Gryffindor common room had done so through him, so it only made sense for her to start there as well.
“AHHH!” Neville thrashed against her hold like he’d just been attacked by an acromantula.
She hushed him as she dragged him into the nearest broom closet, shutting the door behind them with a slam. “Shut up!”
Neville just kept screaming.
“Calm down, Longbottom. No one’s dying!” You soothed, though there was an edge of annoyance in your tone. “Well, maybe I am. Of frustration.”
Neville finally stopped yelling for help and blinked at you in confusion.
“I need access to the Gryffindor common room.” You explained.
“You’re not even in our house!”
“Technically no, but I’ve been in there loads of times.” You justified your intrusion.
“Then ask one of your friends to let you in,” Neville reasoned.
“No, they’re the reason I need to get in. They’ve been avoiding me, and I want to know why.” You explained, but that didn’t seem to even remotely set Neville’s mind at ease.
“I’ll get in trouble—!”
You leaned in close. “Let me put it this way. If you don’t help me, I will casually mention to Professor Sprout that you’ve been growing screaming fungi under your bed again. Oh yes, Lee told me all about that.”
Neville paled. “You wouldn’t.”
You smiled. “Try me.”
———————————————————————
The corridors of Hogwarts were never easy to navigate when one was flustered and humiliated. But you didn’t care about getting caught out after curfew anymore. Not tonight. Not when your pride had already taken enough of a beating.
Your legs carried you at an angry pace through the darkened castle, one hand gripping your wand and the other dragging poor, wide-eyed Neville Longbottom along behind you by the wrist.
“Honestly, I didn’t think you were this mean,” Neville whimpered.
“I’m not mean,” you snapped, hair wild and heart pounding. “I’m just…desperate.”
When you reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, you planted your feet and stared down the guardian with narrowed eyes. “Let us in.”
“She’s not a Gryffindor,” the portrait sniffed.
“She’s got more nerve than me, that’s for sure,” Neville muttered.
“Password?” she said curtly.
You looked to Neville and the boy muttered weakly, eyes cast downwards, “Treacle Tart.”
The portrait scowled, scandalized, but opened anyway with a disapproving glare.
You stormed into the common room, boots thudding against the carpet, heart hammering in your throat.
There they were. Fred, George, and Lee. All three lounged on the couches by the fire, laughing about something, heads tilted back like they didn’t have a care in the world.
Until they saw you.
George’s laughter died mid-cackle. Lee froze with a Bertie Bott’s bean halfway to his mouth. Fred’s eyes widened like a deer caught in the headlights.
“Oh, look,” you said, voice dripping with venom. “The Three Musketeers. How cozy.”
“…Oh no,” George muttered.
You crossed the room with purpose, arms crossed tightly over your chest, eyes blazing. Fred looked like he wanted to melt into the cushions. Lee glanced sideways, calculating escape routes. And George did that thing where he rubbed the back of his neck, sheepish and guilty and trying not to laugh at the same time.
“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve tried to hang out with you lot today?” you snapped, each word slicing through the thick tension like a well-aimed hex. “Every time I show up, you vanish. At breakfast? You suddenly need to tend to a greenhouse explosion. I try to sit with you at lunch? You’re nowhere to be seen. You even skipped out on Transfiguration! McGonagall was furious!”
Fred looked like he was being interrogated under magical duress. You didn’t realize how pale he’d gone until now.
“I thought maybe I was imagining it,” you went on, breath trembling. “That I was reading too much into it. But I’m not stupid. You’ve been avoiding me. All of you. So, what is it? Did I say something? Do something? Did I get too…what? Too annoying? Too clingy?”
Fred’s jaw flexed. George winced. Lee actually lowered his head like a puppy in trouble. None of them answered.
“I thought we were friends!” your voice cracked. “If I’m such a bloody problem, then just say it to my face! Be men and say it!”
Silence followed, punctured only by the crackling fire.
And then Fred opened his mouth, and what came out was the last thing you expected to hear. “You look so hot when you’re angry.”
You blinked. “What?”
Fred’s eyes widened in horror. “I said you look hot. When you yell. It’s doing something weird to me. Merlin’s beard, did I say that out loud? I did. Didn’t I?”
Lee groaned and covered his face. George let out a strangled “Oh, blimey.”
“I also think your hair looks like something out of an oil painting,” Fred continued, voice rising in panic. “And you’ve got this little frown line when you’re concentrating that makes me want to kiss you stupid.”
You stared, heart hammering in your chest, partially frozen in shock. “You’re joking,” you breathed. “You’re making fun of me.”
“I’m not! I wish I was!” Fred blurted, struggling now as Lee shoved a hand over his mouth.
You took a step back, face flushing now for an entirely different reason.
George raised his hands defensively. “Okay. Listen. We can explain.”
“I’d love for someone to start doing that!”
George winced. “We dared Fred to break into Snape’s private stores. You know, for fun.”
“Of course you did.”
“And…he nicked some Veritaserum.”
Your eyes narrowed. “You gave him Veritaserum?!”
“No!” Lee said, eyes wide as he struggled to keep Fred from licking his palm to escape. “Well, yes, but we all had some! It was for a game of truth or dare. We upped the anti. Thought we were only taking a micro dose. He had too much. Turns out it was like, a full dose and a half.”
You gaped. “So…he can’t lie?”
“More like he can’t stop telling the truth,” George said grimly. “It’s been hours. It’s…gotten worse.”
You could hardly believe what they were saying, because that meant everything else Fred had just blurted out was true. “Prove it.”
Lee looked at Fred, then smirked. “Oi, Fred. Remember that time you got stuck in the girls’ toilets in second year? Why were you in there?”
Lee removed his hand to allow Fred to speak, the boy confessed, “Because I wanted to find out if Angelina had a boyfriend!”
“OH MY GOD,” you muttered, horrified and delighted. You’d always suspected that he’d followed you and Angie in to eavesdrop but he’d never admitted it before.
Fred groaned, flopping backward into the couch and covering his eyes with both hands.
Your thoughts spun. If everything he said - about you, your hair, wanting to kiss you - was the truth. You swallowed thickly, feeling your stomach stir with emotion. “Oh.”
George raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
You turned to him. “Why were you hiding him from me, then? Specifically?”
The boys glanced at each other and Lee swiftly clamped his hand over Fred’s mouth once more. No one answered until Fred bit down on Lee’s hand. Lee yelped and it gave Fred enough wiggle room to jerk away and blurt out quickly, “Because I’m scared of what I might say to you!”
George lunged with a pillow and slammed it over Fred’s face. “Shut UP.”
Lee added a blanket for good measure. Fred’s muffled voice still came through,” You smell really good too, by the way! Like all the time. Makes me wanna—”
“OKAY THATS ENOUGH!” George attempted to talk over his brother, drowning out what Fred was trying to say
You stood there, cheeks flushed, utterly speechless. “…Right,” you muttered. You turned to Neville, who was still frozen in place like he’d witnessed a murder. “Neville. Sorry for the…attacking, and dragging, and threatening, and all.”
He nodded numbly. And without another word, you turned and walked out. As you disappeared out the portrait hole, Fred sat up again, pillow askew. “I said too much, didn’t I?”
George and Lee groaned in unison.
———————————————————————
The next morning, you seriously considered skipping breakfast.
You’d hardly slept a wink after last night’s emotional ambush. Your heart still hadn’t fully recovered from the fact that Fred Weasley - the same Fred you’d been crushing on for years - had not only complimented you in front of half the Gryffindor common room, but had apparently consumed so much Veritaserum that he couldn’t stop doing it.
You kept replaying it in your head, over and over:
“You look so hot when you’re angry.”
“You’ve got this little frown line when you’re concentrating that makes me want to kiss you stupid.”
“Because I’m scared of what I might say to you!”
Was that real? That happened, right? You didn’t hallucinate it? You gripped your bag a little tighter and stepped into the Great Hall.
The scent of warm bread and roasted tomatoes hit you immediately, but your eyes went straight to the Gryffindor table. There they were. Fred, George, and Lee. Almost exactly where they’d been yesterday.
Fred was talking animatedly - too animatedly, actually. George and Lee sat on either side of him like guards flanking a volatile prisoner. Every time Fred opened his mouth, they both twitched.
You hesitated. You could turn back. Pretend you forgot something. Sit with the Ravenclaws or maybe join Angelina and Alicia further down.
But then Fred looked up. And his eyes locked on yours like he’d been waiting for you. And he lit up.
That was the thing with Fred Weasley. When he smiled at you, it was like the whole bloody ceiling of floating candles turned a little warmer. Brighter.
He practically stood to wave you over. You swallowed hard and crossed the hall on slightly shaky legs, avoiding every other pair of eyes you felt watching you.
“Morning,” you said, managing something between polite and painfully awkward.
“Good morning,” Fred said, tone suspiciously sincere. “You look radiant. No, actually, radiant’s not enough. You look like if the sun and Aphrodite had a baby and raised it in a faerie grotto.”
Lee choked on his pumpkin juice. George’s head hit the table with a soft thunk.
You blinked. “What?”
Fred kept going. “Honestly, I don’t know how you manage to look that good this early in the morning.”
You sat slowly, stiff as a cursed statue as George shoved a croissant in Fred’s mouth.
“Eat,” he commanded.
Fred chewed obediently, eyes still on you like you’d hung the stars yourself.
You stared down at your plate. “I’m guessing the Verituserum is still in effect?”
“Yeah,” Lee said flatly. “We have no idea when it’ll wear off.”
“Is he…okay?”
“Other than an irresistible inclination to spilling whatever is running through his head, it seems so,” George shrugged.
“I’m absolutely mortified actually,” Fred said through the croissant. “Also, you smell incredible. Like vanilla and warm sugar and—ow!”
George had elbowed him.
“Umm,” you said cautiously, picking up your spoon, “how long does this usually last?”
“Veritaserum usually wears off in twenty-four to forty-eight hours,” Lee muttered, flipping his sausage over like it had offended him. “Unless, of course, you chug it like a lunatic.”
“How was I supposed to know it’d turn me into a sappy git!” Fred said indignantly.
“You were already a sappy git, now you’re just a sappy git with no filter!” George hissed.
You tried not to laugh, but it snuck out. A quiet, amused chuckle, followed by the tiniest smile you couldn’t hold back.
Fred’s eyes widened like he’d won the Triwizard Tournament. “She smiled,” he said, almost reverently.
Lee pointed his fork at Fred. “Don’t.”
“You know how I love it when she does that,” Fred added. “It’s beautiful. Makes my insides all warm and fuzzy.”
George groaned and shoved a spoonful of scrambled eggs in his brother’s mouth.
You looked at them - all three of them - and the knot in your chest began to loosen. There were still questions. Still nerves and embarrassment and chaos swirling in your chest like a stirred cauldron.
But Fred’s eyes - soft and unguarded and fixed entirely on you - held no joke. No teasing. He couldn’t lie even if he wanted to. You nudged your toast and tried not to overthink the blush crawling up your neck.
“So,” you said, eyes flicking to Fred’s. “What else are you dying to tell me that you haven’t yet?”
Lee immediately smacked his forehead. Fred swallowed the eggs and leaned forward, eyes gleaming. “That your laugh makes me feel like I’m not about to completely combust. Which is impressive, because I’m nearly always about to combust when I’m around you.”
George tackled him. Literally tackled him sideways onto the bench. Everyone in the vicinity turned to look. You burst out laughing.
Fred - flattened under his twin and with a piece of bacon in his hair - groaned at his own confession. “I hate this! Get me out of here!”
So Lee and George did. They hurried him out of the great hall like a fire was at their heels.
———————————————————————
You should’ve known better than to think Potions class would be anything less than a disaster today.
For starters, Snape already looked murderous before anyone had entered the dungeon. His robes flared like bat wings as he prowled between the desks, eyes narrowed, mouth twisted into his usual expression of ‘I hate all of you equally’.
The only good news was that he’d paired you with Fred again. The bad news was also that you were paired with Fred again.
Still under the effects of Veritaserum. Still unable to lie. Still completely incapable of shutting up. You’d barely opened your textbook before he leaned closer.
“You look like someone who should be immortalized in stained glass.”
You choked on air.
He was sitting next to you, casual as anything, chin in his palm, elbow on the desk, watching you like you were the most fascinating part of the room - which you were sure you weren’t. There were literally flames under cauldrons around you, and still Fred was looking at you like you were the only thing burning.
“Fred,” you hissed, glancing around. “Not now.”
“You smile with your whole face,” he whispered. “It’s devastating.”
“Oh my god.”
Snape swept past your table, his cloak snapping dramatically at his heels.
“Mr. Weasley,” he said, in the tone one might use for stepping in dung. “If you insist on breathing loudly, do it elsewhere.”
Fred snapped upright. “Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. You’re more intimidating than usual. Though still just as much of a git.”
The room froze. A Hufflepuff dropped their pestle and it clanged on the flagstones.
Snape turned very slowly. “Excuse me?”
You kicked Fred under the desk before he could say anything else but it wasn’t enough to stop him. He flinched. “I wish I could say I didn’t mean that. But, well, I did.” He clamped his mouth shut, face red.
Snape narrowed his eyes. “Ten points from Gryffindor.”
“But it could be a compliment!” Fred tried. “You’re very…committed to your aesthetic? Of course it wasn’t a compliment—”
You were going to die here. Your body would be found slumped over a cauldron and people would whisper, she died because Fred Weasley called Snape a git during Veritaserum detox.
You grabbed Fred by the wrist and hissed, “Shut. Up.”
“I’m trying! But you’re right here, and it’s really hard to be normal around you when you smell like dessert and…and you keep tucking your hair behind your ear like you don’t know what that does to me. But of course, I guess you don’t know what it does to me but I can tell you it does a lot.”
You dropped your ladle and it splashed green liquid across the desk.
“Ms. Y/l/n,” Snape drawled. “Would you like to join your partner in detention?”
“No, sir,” you said through clenched teeth. “Desperately not.”
Snape stalked off, muttering about incompetent teenagers.
Fred turned to you, very quiet for once. You risked a glance. He was biting his lip, face flushed, clearly fighting the urge to say anything else. He picked up the ingredients list and started grinding roots with unnecessary intensity.
You stared at the way his forearms flexed as he moved. You were losing your mind at the way his veins were defined by the tense muscles running all up his arm. You were suddenly very thankful that the boys had kept you out of their after hours truth or dare game. Otherwise you were entirely sure you’d be in a worse predicament than Fred.
You forced yourself to focus on the recipe before you and collected a handful of eels eyes. The crack of someone’s cauldron exploding across the room caused you to jump, the eyes scattering from your palm and across the floor. You swiftly hurried to collect them before Snape could notice. Only, the moment you bent down Fred let out a loud, barely contained groan.
“Merlin, you look good when you do that. Makes me wanna—”
Your spine instantly straighter, stomach clenching to meet Fred’s eyes. His face was screwed up in effort, teeth digging into his bottom lip to stop himself from completing his sentence. He looked like the restraint was killing him.
“Shit, shut up, shut up, shut up,” he murmured under his breath, turning his head and refusing to look at you as his fists clenched.
You forced yourself to clear your throat, ignoring him and going on with rushing the eel eyes to stop yourself from doing something impulsive. Like grabbing his tie and kissing him over a bubbling cauldron.
———————————————————————
It was late.
The corridors were nearly silent, the kind of quiet Hogwarts only ever managed in the deep belly of evening, where most students were tucked away in their dorms, and even Peeves seemed to be sleeping - or plotting.
You’d just left the library, arms full of books you weren’t really reading, head still spinning from a few days of emotional whiplash and truth bombs you hadn’t asked for.
Fred had been avoiding you again after the potions fiasco, but not in the way he had before.
Now it was more like he was dodging danger. Like he was terrified he’d open his mouth and say something truly nuclear. So every time you entered a room, George or Lee shoved him behind a curtain or distracted you with a stupid prank or practically dragged him into another hallway by the scruff of his neck.
And honestly? It was driving you insane.
You were tired of the avoidance. Of the interruptions.
So when you turned a corner and he was there - alone, just walking with his hands jammed into his pockets, looking like he’d been pacing - you jumped on the opportunity.
Fred looked up and instantly stopped walking. His face was pale, like he’d been holding his breath since the morning. His eyes went wide. “Oh no.”
“Hi,” you said slowly, lowering your stack of books. “What are you doing?”
“Trying not to have a breakdown.”
“Charming.”
Fred looked down at the floor, then back at you, and you saw the exact second he gave up trying to be subtle.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
You blinked. “Do what?”
“This. Not telling you. Or, I guess I have told you, I guess, in a very roundabout way. But that was all by accident and now it’s wearing off, and my brain keeps screaming at me to shut up and I can’t because I’ve already said too much and not enough, and…Merlin’s balls, you’re looking at me like that and it’s making it worse.”
You stared at him, stunned. “Like what?” you managed.
“Like you might kiss me if I say the right thing.”
“Well, try it and we’ll find out.”
Fred let out a weak laugh, raking both hands through his hair until it stood on end.
“You make me nervous,” he said, almost breathless. “That’s the problem. You always have. Not in the bad way. Like, the good kind of nervous. The butterflies-so-loud-I-can’t-think kind. The ‘don’t screw this up, Weasley’ kind. The kind where I’m terrified of saying the wrong thing because you’re the first person who makes me want to get it right. And I’m scared that as soon as this wears off, I won’t be able to say it anymore so I need to get it out now.”
You swallowed hard, heart thudding somewhere in your throat.
He stepped closer. “I’ve had a million chances to say this when it would’ve mattered more. When it would’ve been easier. But I blew it. Because I was afraid of saying too much. And now, thanks to that bloody potion and my own bloody stupidity, I’ve already let it go too far without finishing it, and I don’t know if I ruined it or not.”
His voice cracked. “I like you. So much I don’t know what to do with it. It’s not just a crush, or a joke, or something I can charm my way through. It’s real. And terrifying. And I’d rather get hexed by Snape than spend another day pretending it’s not killing me to keep this in.”
You didn’t realize you’d moved until you were in front of him.
So close you could see the pink flush across his cheeks, the frantic flick of his gaze between your eyes and your mouth, the tight tremble of his fists at his sides like he didn’t trust himself not to grab you.
“Say it again,” you whispered.
He blinked. “What?”
“Say it again. Plainly. No verbal gymnastics.”
Fred swallowed. “I like you.”
“Like I’ve never liked anyone before,” Fred cleared his throat. “I mean I’ve liked people before, but it’s never been like this. Like, ‘thinking about you before I fall asleep’ kind of like. Or ‘writing jokes in my head just to tell you later’ kind of like.”
You leaned in and his breath hitched.
“I like you so much it hurts,” he whispered. “You’re smart and sharp and you see through all my jokes and you call me out and you make me laugh when I don’t want to and I hate how much I love it.”
Your brain was short circuiting, and you could t hold yourself back anymore. You surged forward and kissed him.
He made a sound - half gasp, half relief - as your fingers curled into his jumper and his hands finally flew to your waist, tugging you impossibly closer.
It wasn’t perfect. It was frantic and messy and desperate in a way that only years of longing could create. But it was honest. Unfiltered. Completely, breathtakingly real.
When you pulled back, breathless, your forehead still resting against his, Fred whispered, “I like you too Fred, and I don’t need Veritaserum to admit it.”
Fred’s smile widened. “You do?”
You flushed. “I mean, you’re obnoxious and loud and constantly in detention, but yeah. I do.”
“Oh COME ON!” Came a loud yell in unison, and both you and Fred whirled to see George and Lee skidding around the corner, both panting.
“We’ve been hiding him from you for days,” George gasped. “We even hand fed him yesterday like a newborn owl!”
“And all of that was for nothing?” Lee groaned, tossing his hands in the air. “He told you anyway!”
Fred just grinned. Smug. Glowing. Like he’d just won the House Cup, the Quidditch Cup, and your heart all in one go. He reached down, laced his fingers through yours.
“Actually,” he said, eyes never leaving yours, “I’d say it was worth every damn second.”
Switching from one job to another as a maid wasn't easy when you had no home to go back to and your many bad experiences with previous employers. Somehow, you'd ended up as the maid for Itoshi Sae, a famous footballer. He was back in Japan to train for an upcoming match and needed someone to take care of things at his estate. You kept things in order as best as you could, in fear of his intimidating presence. As a few mishaps occur here and there, you're convinced Sae despises you even more - but he doesn't fire you, for some reason.
previous | masterlist | read on ao3
Final, last ever chapter of UNSPOKEN RULES! My final words are at the end...Obviously, it's not a long/detailed chapter as it is just an epilogue, but I cried so much writing this ending.
P.S keep an eye out for the manuscript she was reading (on my profile) 👀
6 MONTHS LATER
Keys jangled in your hand as you punched in the code. The door unlocked and the warmth of home greeted you.
You slipped off your shoes in the foyer, rolling your shoulders and placing your heavy backpack on the floor. The weight of your day fell with it - your laptop, water bottle, thick textbook. At least you'd bought lunch on campus, because just the thought of carrying it in the morning made your arms ache.
"You're back early."
His deep voice was near and you glanced up in surprise. You weren't sure why, even if his schedule was irregular, he was here with you every day.
Sae stood by the hallway arch, one hand loosely in his pocket. He wore his dark blue fleece, long sleeves pushed up to reveal his wrists, paired with his track pants. His reddish hair was not a strand out of place from how he'd styled it this morning.
His back was straight and he was expressionless, just as he was on the field. But from what you saw, his shoulders were relaxed and his face was free of tension.
"So are you," you replied, softly.
The house smelled faintly of burning candles; light vanilla and sandalwood. Before university began, the two of you spent free days turning the house into a home.
A wreath on the door outside and fairy lights strung along the edges of rooms. You'd picked out art pieces together to add color to the empty walls.
Even without decoration, the house was now lived-in. It must have been unrecognizable for Sae, with how lifeless it was before - where you'd ran out of things to clean back then.
He'd brought the framed photos with his family, especially ones of him and Rin, to display downstairs. There was a photo of you and Sae too, or, the only one.
It was taken at a funfair a while ago. You were glancing to the cotton candy in your hand, with Sae watching you. Rin was the one who'd taken the candid picture, since both you and Sae weren't fond of taking personal photos - even as a public figure, Sae didn't have social media.
In the foyer, Sae stepped closer; so did you.
Like gravity had shifted, the space between you closed. A faint crease of concentration lingered between his brows. Unlike the expression he must've carried mentoring at Blue Lock, this one was contemplative.
His fingers brushed your wrist first, before anything else. He still tested affection, not only for you, but seemingly for himself.
"How was it?" he asked. "And the drive?"
You nodded, although the familiar flutter from his touch made your thoughts blurry. "The…the drive was fine."
You'd passed your driver's exam recently. Sae allowed you to regularly use his white manual car; the one he'd taught you the basics on.
It was an honor, considering how good of a car it was and that it was his. It was precisely the reason why you were terrified in case you'd do anything to the car, but also glad you didn't get a brand new one either - even if his seemed unused to the point of being new.
Before your first day of university, you did a test drive to the campus and parking area, with Sae in the passenger seat. Driving to unfamiliar places gave you anxiety, even with a navigator - where you often doubted if you even followed the correct directions.
Your university was the closest one to Sae's estate. The two of you walked around the campus, familiarizing yourself with where you'd spend the next few years of your life studying. At least you'd gotten a glimpse, even if it wasn't enough for you to recognize each building for your first day.
"What did you get up to?" he asked.
You recalled the details of the day and things that made your mouth dry - crowded halls, introductions and icebreakers. You'd heard that by next week, the lectures and classes wouldn't be anywhere near how full it was on the first day.
"A cohort introduction and I had my first class after," you responded. "I met a few girls."
His hand trailed up to your shoulder, as if the tension was calling out to him. The fingers mindlessly kneaded the stiffness that had already developed. The touch was careful, in case you'd retreat from him. "You did?"
"Mm. They were nice," you said, with a breath.
They were really nice, in fact. You weren't sure how long it would last. In a way, it was a relief the girls in your first class didn't know anyone else either. You bonded over that, and the subject you were studying.
It seemed like everyone else had already made friends on the course, even though it was only the first day of the semester. Everyone had sat and spoken in groups.
You'd taken courses and classes before you applied to university, and you'd made a few friends during them - but they were older than you. They were your seniors that you'd gotten advice from, since they were in further paths of life than you.
You feared having nothing to talk about with people your age, but it was for nothing. Other people were just as awkward as you, creating a common ground. It placed you and them on the same level where no one intimidated each other.
"Well done," he spoke gently, before placing his other hand on your shoulder too. Both of his arms enclosed you, and you had nowhere to look but his bright eyes.
A small smile tugged at your lips at the praise, no longer rare from him - at least, towards you. "How was your day?"
"Boring. Must we talk about it?" Sae sighed.
Whenever Sae told you about the ruthless methods Ego used to weed out the best players in Blue Lock, the program sounded deranged and cutthroat, not boring. Then again, Sae must have experienced similar training himself, and therefore he still saw the Blue Lock players at an intermediate level.
"What do you want to talk about?" you asked.
His eyes fell to your lips. You'd only began to understood Sae's thoughts as time went by, and when he wanted you. You just still couldn't deduce exactly how much he wanted you.
"Anything," he muttered, leaning his face even closer, while one hand trailed to your jaw. The other snaked to your waist, fingers gently kneading the skin the same way he did to your shoulder.
Before you knew it, his lips latched onto yours. He didn't waste time against your lips and your slight gasp, before his kiss grew passionate. He tasted like sweet dates and ripe fruit.
Months had passed and it still felt just as magic as your first kiss, considering how intense the first was.
You'd never be used to the desperation in his kiss, contrasting his calculated persona. Gone was the cold footballer and against your body was the man he allowed himself to be.
Your body slightly swayed, dizzy from the lack of air or simply just him. He grasped your waist, supporting your body against his strong arm.
As your mouth opened with a breath, he pulled back and rested his forehead against yours, catching his breath.
Kissing him buzzed you, ridding of your exhaustion, despite how light-headed the lack of oxygen left you.
"Do you want dinner now?" he asked, closing his eyes.
You shook your head, still coming down from his lips. Continuing the conversation seemed out of the question after such a kiss. "Not yet. Think…I wanna go out and stretch my body a bit."
"Shall we go for a walk?"
Your brose rose, making him rethink.
"Bike ride?" he asked.
You chuckled, at how quickly he understood. "If you're tired, I can go myself."
"Do I look tired?" he scoffed, leaning further into your forehead. You lightly shook your head at his defensiveness.
You became accustomed to the bicycle Sae lent you, for when you were volunteering at the library, while you were still learning how to to drive. While you stopped volunteering because of university, you continued to enjoy cycling through the forest.
It was scary at first, considering how high his bikes were and how you hadn't ridden one since you were a young girl, but you quickly grew confident at it. Sae thought it was unsafe, at least, how unstable it looked to him.
"Slow down," he called, from behind you.
You were going down a slight gradient. It wasn't too downhill to make you speed up without pedaling and you kept to the edge of the road in case of a car. Still, you pressed the brake handles to give him peace of mind, and for him to catch up.
The wind dried your eyes as you glided through the forest, that was once empty of leaves when you first began to work for Sae.
You remembered the daunting feeling of walking to Sae's estate for the first time, like it was yesterday. Branches of trees swallowed you up and blew water off of them, spitting you in the face.
Now, trees were full of green leaves and mud on the floor had almost dried, welcoming you along the path as though you'd become apart of it.
A relieved laugh escaped you, at how refreshing the spring air was against your face.
You'd never seen Itoshi Sae sweat, not physically or mentally. He'd never been nervous when he scored a goal, nor had he been careful to not hurt someone's feelings.
Yet, Sae's apprehensive voice behind you almost made you completely brake, from how rare it was.
"Why do you go ahead?" he asked, voice closer to you. "What if a car comes?"
He soon popped up beside you on his own bicycle, breeze blowing and fanning through his hair. You slowed even more, so you could stay next to each other.
"Sorry," you said sheepishly. It didn't take much to have a conversation while cycling, since pedaling wasn't an effort for you. "I get excited."
The short breath he let out was in between a scoff and laugh. "To get away from me?"
"That's not possible," you spoke.
"Lies," he said. You didn't miss his tut, even with the cycling.
"It is true, Sae. The idea of leaving you is foreign to me."
In the moment, while you were cycling through the bumpy forest and speaking over the wind, it was the most you could say regarding your feelings for him.
Sae went silent, and for a moment you wondered if he'd even heard you.
"It's like you want me to crash into a tree," he said.
You glanced at him for a second, before returning to the trees surrounding the path in front of you. "Hm?"
He didn't respond and sped up ahead of you, even though he'd just expressed his worry of you going ahead.
"Wait for me," you said, pedaling to catch up. Sae only sped up faster, like he was running away from you. "Sae!"
You didn't miss the smirk on his face as he cycled away.
"What did you mean earlier, when we were bike-riding?"
Sae's fingers stopped their caressing of your wrist, at your question. He shuffled beside you, almost uneasy.
"I should ask you the same thing," he responded.
You fought back a sigh. He really had a talent of avoiding the question.
"What do you mean?"
After the bike ride, the two of you returned to shower and have dinner, before settling down for the evening. You still used your own room, but you spent most nights sleeping beside Sae in his bed. It was both pleasant to unapologetically curl up to him, and cruel to wake up to him leaving the warmth for work. You'd done the same in the morning for the first time for university, the chill hitting you harder to leave his arms.
With Sae around, you couldn't picture yourself not having a life outside of work.
You were still young and had developed workaholic habits while you were a maid. You didn't want to carry them as a student. Being a student was about being proactive, after all.
"What you said about leaving me."
"Do you believe it's a lie?" you asked.
"I can't understand why you speak to me with high regard," he responded.
You paused, stilling against the headboard. Sae's long legs shifted under his duvet that you both shared.
The room faintly smelled of orange candles that Sae replaced his coral peony ones with, something to focus on while you searched for the words. His thumb continuing its tracing over your wrist didn't do much to keep your thoughts clear.
He wasn't asking for praise. You'd once spoken to him with respect because he was your boss, and because you'd been terrified of him. Now, you still spoke to him in such a way, except, sincerity replaced duty.
"Do you remember a while ago when…I told you I had nothing to give you?" you recalled. "It was because you gave me the world, just by seeing me."
Sae went silent, but he didn't need the cogs in his brain to turn for long. "You speak as though you don't give me the same."
"But I don't," you protested in a whisper. "I completely changed because of you."
Sae took in a deep breath, before releasing it in a sigh.
"I did nothing to change you, nor did you change that much," he replied, tapping his fingers against your wrist.
"My life turned around," you compromised, with a head tilt.
"Your circumstances changed. But you've stayed the same as the beginning," he responded. You blinked, confused."You don't need to change. Maybe that'll be clear soon."
3 YEARS LATER
She stopped in her tracks, breath hitching.
The sight was directly in front of the window. How could she not look?
The man was shirtless. Water dripped down his body as he tipped a bottle to his mouth. Most of the cold liquid went past his lips, but some droplets escaped and glistened at his jaw. It trickled and clung to the black hair that framed his face. His green eyes were closed, savoring the coolness after his hard labor.
His figure was that of a bodybuilder's dream. Broad shoulders and large trapezius muscles tapered into a small waist. He was wide, yet proportioned gloriously with his tall height and abs made of steel.
His mouth was latched around the bottle, until his eyes opened.
She stumbled back from the window, flattening herself against the wall, next to the curtain. Her face heated and the wall did nothing to cool it, as her heart sped and breathing quickened.
Had he seen her?
Of course.
Five minutes stood away from the window would be safe, or even ten if she wanted certainty. Or, she could drop to the floor and crawl so no sight of her existence was visible.
"Working on vacation. How disobedient."
Your head snapped up, rearing it to him. Sae approached, shirtless and dripping with water - far more than the man in the manuscript.
He wiped his face and ran his hands through his wet darkened hair, before grabbing a towel. You set the papers beside you under a book, to not blow away under the windy sky.
His muscular body blocked and shadowed the evening sun. It was the first time you'd seen Valencia's beach in the summer, unlike the first time you'd gone with the gray horizon. The ocean was beautifully blue, tides cascading and thrashing.
However, just like last time, you were both antisocial and avoided the crowd of strangers at the main part of the beach, opting to walk and sit far away.
"I enjoy this one, so I brought it along," you said.
"Oh? Show me," he said, putting the towel over his shoulders and back, before sitting beside you on the towel. He smelled of the salty sea, sunscreen and surprisingly his cologne that hadn't entirely worn off.
You shook your head, rubbing your bare arm. "Never mind…"
"I wonder if it's another romance," he remarked, a taunting glint in his teal eyes, reflecting the sea.
"Mm…" you hummed neutrally, not wanting to answer.
"We'll see if it makes the cut. You seem to let anything slide," he bantered dryly.
"I don't have that much choice," you said.
Your internship was at a publishing house that you'd been doing alongside your fourth year of university. It was fairly easy and manageable, where you mostly read manuscripts and wrote up reports.
The publishing company ensured employment for interns after they graduated. You loved how flexible and lenient of a place it was.
The work could be done remotely, from anywhere. It helped when you and Sae had come back to Spain.
You'd first landed and stayed in his Madrid villa. He spent the first few weeks in meetings at ReAl Madrid's head offices. He was arranging his return to the team, where he was looking to play with them again next year - after you'd finish university. You'd spent the time in Madrid studying and working, submitting your final assignments for the first semester.
You'd hoped before that your plans would align with his. While it was true that you'd have employment and a life outside of him, while he returned to soccer, you also didn't feel his return was permanent.
After mentoring at Blue Lock for a few years, Sae realized he always wanted to strive for different things. The constant in his life was you.
Then, you had summer off of university for a few weeks, where you both decided to catch a break in Valencia. It made sense to go back to the same hotel, although you'd purposely chosen a suite with only one bed this time.
"Want to walk along the shore?" asked Sae. You nodded, placing your book and manuscripts into your bag. Sae buttoned his shirt on after drying himself off.
Many things had changed between you and Sae since you last came here, but you felt like you were the same girl.
You still hadn't learned to swim, even with the pool at Sae's estate, and you still read by the shore. You were still shy around most people, even if you'd made a few great friends at university.
You didn't notice you were in thought about it until you felt the stroke of Sae's hand against yours. You looked down, realizing you'd kept your hands in your pockets.
"Sorry," you said, loosely intertwining your warm hand with his, that was cold from the water.
"What were you thinking about?" he asked, slowly trailing beside you.
Scents of damp sand and the salty sea filled your nostrils. The sand was quiet below your sandals, giving you enough room to think. "About the last time we were here."
You glanced out to the azure blue sea that merged colors with the sky on the horizon. Hues of pink, gold and purple painted the sea. The shadows of your silhouettes reflected on the sand as you stepped.
"If only I read your mind back then," Sae responded, keeping his head forward to the long stretch of the beach.
You'd been paranoid the entire vacation back then, as to whether it would be the last time you'd see Sae. If it were Sae's way of saying his final goodbye to you, as your feelings for him only expanded because of the trip to Spain.
"I'm not that complex, Sae."
"You are good at hiding how you feel," he responded.
You swallowed. "I always was. I had to, before."
You had no parents, friends or any family. The world would have swallowed you whole already if you'd been open about how you felt. You thought it was easier to bottle it all up, but you'd crashed and crashed when Sae became the person to notice you.
"You're good at hiding it too," you added, gently.
You turned to him, and the corners of his lips had lightly lifted. "You have no idea."
You blinked, brows furrowing to as if to ask him what he meant.
He slowed in his tracks and released your hand.
As he faced you, he looked the same as he did years ago too. He had a slight tan from the Spanish weather, with a loosely-fitted salmon-colored shirt and white shorts. His crimson hair had slightly grown, but you didn't doubt he'd trim it soon.
Both of you were a few years older now, yet you were the exact same.
"Throughout my life, I was weak. No amount of training or working in Spain could have improved that," he confessed.
You stilled at the sudden vulnerability, but it prompted him to continue. Despite Sae's past confessions, it wasn't often that he entirely opened up like this.
"Since I first saw you, I thought about you every single moment," he said. Your shoulders almost jerked at the words. You didn't think his sentences were related, or that you had anything to do with it. "I think I loved you from the beginning. I just didn't know what the feeling was at the time."
"Sae, I…"
"It was all you. Do you hear me?" he said. His handsome face looked both conflicted and relieved, as he released a breath.
"What do you mean?" you asked, softly. It was all confusing, how his words fell out. They were heartfelt, but you didn't know where they were suddenly coming from and what he was bottling up.
Sae's knee dipped into the cold sand.
A gasp escaped you. You took a step back.
Salty tears fell onto your tongue and fogged your vision before you even realized.
Both of his hands held a velvet navy box, one at the bottom and the other above the lid. The glare of the sun bounced off of a platinum ring, like a light ray.
Your lashes flickered quickly, clearing your vision in case Sae would vanish from you into thin air.
"I don't want this to cause you stress. We can do this whenever you want." His voice was gentle, yet it cut through the pounding of your heart in your ears. "I know we are still young. But I wonder if you'll accept me for the rest of our lives. Would you…marry me?"
You focused on his nervous face, wanting to memorize the moment forever, even if it was all a dream.
Your mouth opened, but you couldn't gather the words. You took one more step back and covered your face, silently crying into your hands.
"Are…you alright?" His gentle, yet uneasy voice made you realize how you must've worried him.
You quickly nodded, lowering your hands to reveal your teary face and red eyes. "It's just…are you real?"
A small chuckle escaped him, relieved.
"I'm real. This is real."
You sniffled, calming from his reassuring voice, but you still couldn't string a sentence together.
"I told you that love makes you weak, but it made me stronger," he said. "I am entirely untouchable because you love me, and because I love you."
Your heart soared as your life flashed before your eyes. There was never a moment you imagined this as a little girl.
"Yes," you breathed. "Yes. Of course, I want to marry you, Sae."
His deep sigh filled you with more guilt that you'd accidentally worried him.
He lifted the box again. "May I?"
You shakily held out your hand, feeling like feather as you neared it to him.
"W-wait," you said, scanning the ring. It was a platinum band, with a small diamond at the center.
His brows rose, pausing. "Are you okay?"
"What does it say?" you whispered, spotting the engraved words on the inside ring.
His shoulders lowered, releasing the tension for what felt like the millionth time in this special moment. He lifted the ring out of the box. "Take a look."
Your fingers brushed his as you carefully took the ring, turning it to read the engraved words.
You are my sympathy, my better self, my good angel.
"Jane Eyre," your voice came out in another whisper.
"Powerful flame, fuses you and me in one," he repeated, a small smile tinging on his lips at the familiarity. "However it is."
At your shocked pause, he set the box down and took the ring from you. His other hand held yours like it were glass, and slowly slid the platinum ring onto your finger.
You lowered to your knees, sand shifting beneath you. Your hands grasped his shoulders, before wrapping your arms around his neck.
"I've always loved you too, I swear it," you murmured into his neck, tears starting again.
His hands settled at your waist, before pulling back just enough to look at you. He lifted his thumb, wiping under your eyes.
"No more tears over me," he muttered.
"How can I not?" you said, quietly. "I-it's just…I never would've imagined to get this far. I thought I'd be stuck, forever."
He let out a shaky breath and gently stroked down your shoulder.
"Sae, I…I think you should stand."
With your close proximity, your voice broke in a small murmur. His brows furrowed at your words.
"Why? Do you not want this?" he asked, although he knew the answer.
The tide thrashed beside you, bringing the sounds of the beach back to your attention, while your gaze remained on his face.
His cyan eyes were the softest you'd ever seen them.
"No, I…I want it more than anything in the world." Your fingers lightly curled into his shirt.
"Then, why?"
"I don't like to see you on the ground, kneeling for so long," you mumbled.
You felt the low rumble of his chuckle, on his chest. "Silly girl."
The both of you held each other still, making your breathing even. You felt the race of his heart under your cheek, as you rested your face against it. The sky deepened its shade into lavender and burnt orange.
You pulled back. His hand caressed along your face, trailing over every crevice and slowing when his fingers trailed over your lips.
His lips brushed yours, gently and briefly at first, before kissing your cheek. Kisses trailed along your jaw, as if he were worshiping you.
His hand slid up your back and pressed you so close that there was no space left between you both. The sea breeze blew through his hair, lips touching yours reverently.
You melted and sighed into him, fingers trailing to his damp hair.
Your lips parted and deepened the kiss. He tilted his face to yours, inhaling you.
Unconsciously, you shifted closer and his hand tightened around you, earning a small sound out of you. You barely registered your smile into the kiss, with how overwhelmed and full of love you were.
He pulled back, forehead resting against yours as his breathing was uneven and his pupils were wide.
"Let's…slow down," he murmured, surprising you. You were usually the one saying that to him.
You blinked, dazed. "Why?"
"Because," he began, nose brushing lightly against yours, "we should make it back to the hotel."
Your body went warm at the implication and a small smile formed on your face.
He exhaled, pressing a final, light kiss to your lips. "Shall we go?"
Final words A/N: That's a wrap!! Thank you so much to anyone who has supported Unspoken Rules this far - if you’ve been here since Chapter 1, joined midway, or if you’re a future reader. I wrote it for over a year and the fic was also put on hold a lot during many ups and downs; I’m proud I persevered to the end.
Unspoken Rules derived from the Wattpad original romances I read in my preteen years and it evolved into a story about confidence, love, warmth, growth, family and more.
If you ever have any thoughts/questions about Unspoken Rules at ANY time, please send away to my inbox or comment at any time. Even if it’s in the future and time has passed since the fic came out - it never bothers me in the slightest because I love & appreciate any thoughts from anyone!
Take care & again keep an eye out for that manuscript she was reading on my profile 😉
Switching from one job to another as a maid wasn't easy when you had no home to go back to and your many bad experiences with previous employers. Somehow, you'd ended up as the maid for Itoshi Sae, a famous footballer. He was back in Japan to train for an upcoming match and needed someone to take care of things at his estate. You kept things in order as best as you could, in fear of his intimidating presence. As a few mishaps occur here and there, you're convinced Sae despises you even more - but he doesn't fire you, for some reason.
• shy reader, angst, anxiety/worrying, intimidation, hurt/comfort, Itoshi Sae is bad at feelings. inspired by this story!
Only the Epilogue chapter left to go! I wrote this on a new laptop with a different keyboard so there is no doubt some mistakes that I missed even in the edits. Ignore, as I will edit it again soon.
Aiku leaned back in his chair. "Really? Finally?"
You lifted your mug to your mouth, hiding a smile.
"I always knew he had a thing for you. Probably before he even knew it himself," Aiku continued. "But I can't imagine him in love."
The sweet yet bitter flavor of coffee lingered in your mouth as you chuckled. "Why's that?"
You hadn't met with Aiku since the night Sae found out you'd met Rin, till now. You and Aiku found yourself at the same cafe as before, except now, you weren't soaking from rain and you actually wore your coat this time.
The sky was free from rain this evening, although the temperature was still low. You both sat near the fireplace to warm up again, with a decaf coffee since it was evening.
"He's just irritating. Have you seen him? I don't know what else to tell you." Aiku sighed, shaking his head. Heterochromatic eyes drifted as he thought. The glowing hue of fire tinted his jaw that was shaved from stubble, with a five o'clock shadow.
The response earned another laugh from you. "You know, I wonder if you and him would ever be friends."
"You're all hopeful now that he made up with his brother," Aiku teased, after a tut. "Plus, Sae's a traitor for going to Blue Lock."
"Who knows? More people might join," you replied.
"He's too old to play, isn't he?" Aiku questioned.
You considered the words, glasses clinking behind the barista counter at the front. "I think he wanted to be a mentor in the first place."
"Makes sense, with all that stuff he says about football in Japan. Would you ever move to Spain with him?" he asked.
The possibility hung over your head. You avoided entirely fearing the future like you used to, but you also wondered what would happen next with Sae's football career, when he'd be done mentoring at Blue Lock.
You wouldn't expect him to up and leave for Spain now, unlike how you used to worry. What would be in store for you?
"I don't know," you breathed, honestly.
"Just go with the flow. Don't worry about what he wants," Aiku said.
Despite the antagonism of Aiku's tone, you understood. Perhaps what you and Sae would want in the future would be closely aligned.
You were thinking far ahead, yet you couldn't fathom being apart from Sae. Your feelings for him burned in your heart, more than the degree of the hot mug in your hands.
"What about you?" you asked, curiously. "Where are you from?"
"Grew up in Stockholm for a bit," Aiku answered with a nod.
Your brows rose. "I never knew!"
You figured Aiku wasn't fully Japanese, but you had no idea he grew up there.
"My father is Swedish and German," he informed.
"And, would you ever go back?" you said.
A small smirk formed on Aiku's face. "If there was something that could make me stay."
"Like what?" You asked, taking another sip.
"A girl, maybe." His charming smile deepened.
You shared the smile, setting down your mug. "Would you settle down?"
"Again, if she could make me stay. Not that any girl has." He grinned. "You're the love expert now. Any advice?"
You shook your head, thinking over your ever-changed dynamic with Sae. "I told you I've never felt this feeling before. It was unfamiliar. If you fall in love, you might not know it at first."
"I don't have a staff member to fall in love with like Sae. It's all guys at the U-20s," Aiku scoffed.
"It could be anyone. That's the thing about love," you murmured. "Even someone you won't know for long."
"Love waits for no one, eh?"
You let out a deep breath.
"Nervous?" asked Sae, beside you.
"Little bit," you mumbled, running your hands around the steering wheel.
Sae had spent a while explaining all the dials and pedals in the car to you. He showed you examples of smooth steering.
You'd done your own research about manual cars; you'd heard those were a good way to get to know the car if you'd never driven one before.
It was your first drive, mostly about stopping and starting the car. Sae did a demonstration where he turned the engine on and put it into gear, before slowly releasing the clutch. He'd started from the driveway and driven to the gates of the estate, putting it into the next gear when needed. He then stopped the car and put it into park again in the front of the gate, straightening the wheels.
You'd grasped how the gears worked easily, so he wanted you to replicate the simple drive.
While you weren't nervous to the point of claustrophobia in the car space, the windows fogged up with your light breaths in due time.
At least it wasn't raining. Despite the usual chill, it was a bright day with sunshine glaring into the window, even if wind still blew behind the windscreen.
"Don't be." His voice carried a surprising amount of tenderness in comparison to his persona.
With how good Sae looked today, and how he always looked, you were still amazed that he was yours. He wore wayfarer sunglasses over his eyes and a white button-up shirt, a few buttons undone at the top as per.
"Whenever you're ready," he added.
You bit the seam of your lip and turned the engine on, your heart speeding at the sound.
It didn't help your nerves that Sae allowed you to use one of his seven cars, which was the only manual one. It was a medium-sized white car that looked shiny, sleek and expensive.
There was nothing to crash into near you, with only curbs that led to the grass around the road. There were slight bends on the way down to the driveway. You hoped you wouldn't topple the car over into the curb.
You put the car into gear and released the handbrake, holding both hands on the wheel as you slowly released the clutch.
You were gliding. First gear was faster than you thought, at least for a beginner, with how quickly the house grew smaller in the rear-view mirror.
"Press the accelerator gently," he instructed. Your foot pressed down, feeling and hearing the gas as you estimated the speed. "Enough for the next gear?"
You shifted gear, releasing the clutch again and adding gas.
A relieved breath escaped you. You focused on your steering around the bends, keeping the speed slow and careful. Green grass came into your view as you attempted to not have tunnel vision, the mirrors helping you judge to not get close to the curb.
Maybe not today, but if you continued aiming to drive out of the gates, you could do anything. At least, that was what you told yourself as you neared it, heart aching with nerves.
You were already braking. Sae was silent, so it must have meant you were doing something right.
"Back to gear one," he said. You did as he said. "Let it roll and straighten the wheel slightly."
You took your foot off of the pedals halfway, as you straightened the wheel and braked to a complete stop.
"Put it into park," he spoke. You put the gear back into neutral and the handbrake up, slowly releasing your feet from the brake and clutch.
You stared at the gate for a few seconds, before turning to him, as your heart pounded. From the beginning of the short drive and up until now, Sae was only a blur in your peripheral.
He took off his sunglasses now that there was more shade, revealing his unyielding teal eyes.
With his poker face, it felt like you were already in a driving exam and waiting to see if you'd passed or failed.
"Do you want to see how far you are from the curb?" he asked. You nodded and you both got out of the car.
You were a decent distance from the curb, not too far or too close. The wheels were almost straight. Obviously you didn't need to be too close to the curb since it was his drive away, but it was for learning purposes as the first road you drove on.
You tilted your head slightly, a light smile forming on your face at the sight.
You gauged Sae's reaction, whose eyes remained cold and bleak as winter. Wind blew through his hair and against your faces, bringing with it the rich scent of magnolia.
"Was that really your first time?" he asked.
"Yes," you answered, taking your bottom lip between your teeth again and hiding your smile as you awaited his words.
He gave a nod. "You did well."
You let go of a breath and a nervous chuckle. "Thank you. And for teaching me."
He gave another nod, before his eyes trailed from your face to your neck.
Before you knew it, he was reaching out and fixing your collar - that you didn't realize was out of place. His smooth hands grazed against your neck, reminding you of the way he held it when you'd last kissed.
You glanced to the concrete when he released his brief touch, at the thought.
Until, you felt it, among the cold wind.
A deep kiss to your cheek.
His warm lips lasted long against your cheek. But, also not long enough, when he'd already released his mouth by the time your head whipped to him.
He was glancing down and placing his sunglasses back over his eyes, before stepping to the driver's side.
"I'll reverse it for you and you can drive back up to the house."
It gave you enough of a chance to recover from how he'd left you bewildered, as he got in the car and began turning it around. You watched him reverse and how unbothered he looked after he just kissed your skin casually. You pressed your lips together, trying to make your expression unbothered too.
His affection wasn't something you needed to earn or work for. You realized Sae didn't need words anymore. He let you know he observed your details through gentle touches and kisses.
Your eyes stung, but the wind saved any tears of happiness from falling at the realization that this was your life now.
Days later, Itoshi Rin unexpectedly contacted you again. You hadn't spoken to him since Sae found out.
You invited the younger over, and let Sae know. Sae told you he'd head out when Rin would come over. He wasn't avoiding Rin, but it seemed he was giving you and Rin time to speak since it had been a while. You weren't sure why, since you'd been in Sae's business before, yet he still allowed you to befriend his younger brother.
Rin arrived and Sae was about to leave for a walk, not before the two brothers conversed briefly. It was still a shock to see Sae and Rin speak normally, as normal as their bond could be - and even if you'd never seen Sae's complete hostility towards Rin with your own eyes.
With how Rin also still seemed taken aback by his older brother's change of heart and an almost awkward respect towards Sae, you weren't the only one.
"It's a long way, why don't you stay over?" Sae suggested.
Surprise flickered in Rin's teal eyes, making them even bigger. "But I don't have my things."
Rin pulled his coat from his shoulders and you took it from him, busying yourself by hanging it up and eavesdropping. It was when the two brothers were beside each other that you noticed their subtle differences, aside from their obvious hair colors - such as Sae's thicker eyebrows and Rin's thinner ones.
Or, the differences in their voices. Rin's voice was deep, but Sae's was even lower and sounded older, despite only having a few years on Rin.
"You can use my stuff. Or, I can go get your things for you," Sae said, before nodding. "I'll go do that now."
"I haven't packed it, or-"
"I'll pack for you," Sae interrupted, seemingly finding a better way to spend the time then go on a walk. You lifted Sae's coat to him, to which he took from you. "Thank you. If you want, you can show him around."
"Mind if we snoop around upstairs?" you asked, slightly tilting your head.
"Why even ask? Go ahead." Sae opened the door, looking back to the both of you. "I'll be back."
The door closed and silence passed between you and Rin, until the dark-haired boy let out a small exhale.
"Our house is far."
"He probably wanted us to have a chance to talk," you said. There wasn't much need, when the walls were thick and the house was so big. "Do you want to look around?"
You showed Rin around far more than you did while you were working here, during the few other times he came over to Sae's house. He chose from the spare rooms, all with beds and furniture.
Throughout the tour, you were reminded of Rin's shyness, that could be mistaken for coldness. You were glad to have his respect, or perhaps he understood you were shy too.
When you got to your room, you realized it looked the same as when you'd first arrived at Sae's house. Now, you were actually living here, so maybe you could decorate or make it look like a home, as Sae said. A rug and maybe a few frames of art, if he didn't mind.
Your question of snooping around upstairs mostly referred to Sae's room and office. Although Sae's room was no longer private to you, you wondered if he'd be okay with showing it to Rin, that you were the one showing his own brother his room - even if it was only a brief look inside.
"He kept these." Rin glanced at the frames on Sae's unit, of the two of them.
Rin then settled in Sae's office. You went to boil the assorted tea that Sae bought you, while Rin settled in Sae's office. You carefully returned with two mugs of tea when it began to thunder outside.
Leafless trees blew in the harsh rainstorm with peaks of the angry sky outside of the floor-to-ceiling windows in Sae's office.
"So sudden?" you said. Hopefully, Sae wasn't caught in it outside, even if he was definitely driving through it.
"I said he didn't need to go," Rin muttered. He sat on the dark brown sofa, while you were on the footrest in front. "It's not like we're going to say anything bad about him."
You chuckled. "Well, that's good. From the looks of it, things have been better between you two?"
"Yeah. I don't know." Rin glanced to the mug in his hands as he mumbled. "What about you and him?"
"It…it's fine," you stuttered, unsure where to start.
Rin let out a weary sigh, while his face was stone cold, which you assumed was simply his resting face. "I meant to say…sorry. Nii-chan was mad at you because of me."
You paused at the apology and placed your mug on the table.
"You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry, for prying," you replied.
Rin's long lashes flickered, and just like his brother, you could tell there was more that he wanted to say. "You did more good than harm, for Sae and me."
"I…didn't do anything," you replied quietly, glancing to the walls of books behind Rin. You still felt guilty for your imprudence that you didn't know you had, for someone that overthought everything.
"Didn't you tell him to make up with me?" asked Rin, brows cocked up at your words.
Harsh patters of rain unfortunately weren't enough for you to sway your thoughts from the man you were now infatuated with. You fiddled with the handle of the mug in your hands. "No, I…had my own complications with him."
Had Rin been under the impression that it was you who'd encouraged Sae to make up with him? You wouldn't dare ask that of Sae, especially after you'd butted into their business enough.
"Then, how…?" Rin wondered, trailing off. "He must have changed because of you."
"I didn't have the time or guts to change him. I'm not sure he even needed to change," you started, in thought. "I think he's able to be who he truly wants to be now."
"He told me about what happened between you two," Rin acknowledged, making your eyes slightly widen.
You wondered how far back Sae went and how up-to-date his retelling was. Or, if Rin knew how weird you were from the start, from Sae's perspective. You didn't doubt Sae's perplexity of how quiet and afraid you were at first.
"How much did he tell you?"
"Since he met you," answered Rin.
A flush of nostalgia took over you. The swoosh of rain, wind and thunder beyond the windows were enough to keep you falling down a rabbit hole of your early days here.
"Back then…he intimidated me and confused me. There were also times where he upset me," you recalled. "But, I realized he's the first person to understand me. Because he cares enough to see right through me."
You always thought Sae was a man far more intelligent than you ever would be, but perhaps that was exactly it. You'd put him on a pedestal so far off from you that he was impossible to reach at the beginning.
The Adam's apple in Rin's throat bobbed, seemingly stunned to hear his brother's character spoken about in a moving way - opposite to what Rin must have thought until recently. "Then I suppose I should thank you."
"I did nothing," you repeated in a murmur. "I'm myself when I'm with him, because he sees me."
When the sky got even darker, Sae returned with Rin's things for the night. Water ran down his skin like pearls. His hair darkened, signaling that he hadn't worn his coat. The thundering rainstorm worsened, where even the few seconds of walking from his car to the front door was enough to get caught in it.
"Sae," you spoke, eyes trailing over his wet form. He hung up his coat, which was mostly dry. "You didn't wear your coat."
"I didn't know it would be that bad," he replied, before turning to Rin and handing him the bag of his packed things. "Here."
You grabbed a towel, while Rin took the bag. You held the towel up, and Sae held his hand to retrieve it, but you fretted over him instead.
He lowered his head, catching on to how you wanted to dry his hair yourself. Rin watched the two of you in silence, with a look of contemplation.
The evening went on and the three of you ordered takeout. You ate together and watched half a film, before Rin noticed a game from Sae's unused console, both collecting dust in the TV cabinet. Unsurprisingly, it was a soccer game.
You watched them play, completely lost with how they navigated it, until you all decided to play board games in the library. Sae was surprisingly terrible at Monopoly, making you and Rin laugh while he grumbled to himself.
Everyone settled for bed as the evening ended, but you felt too dehydrated to sleep, tossing and turning until you finally got up. You went downstairs to fill a glass of water and stepped back up the stairs, pausing when you saw a shadow from the spare room Rin resided in.
The door was slightly ajar and Sae stood at the doorway, peaking his head in. It was dark inside, while the hallway's lights were dim.
The sound of your footsteps caused Sae to turn his head.
"Are you alright?" you asked quietly. You stepped behind him, not too close to not disturb Rin who was asleep under the covers.
Sae gave a nod, glancing back to Rin. "Haven't seen him relax and sleep since we were children."
"He's here now," you murmured.
Sae's gaze turned sombre, before he gave his sleeping brother one final look before quietly closing the door.
Another week passed when Sae would began mentoring at Blue Lock. You woke up early on his first day to see him off, which thankfully wasn't as early as he used to leave for training.
He'd strictly instructed you the night before to not make him breakfast since you were no longer working for him. You found a loophole and reheated some of last night's dinner, easy on the stomach for the morning.
He thanked you for your effort, even if he'd let out a light sigh that you did something for him. It wasn't your duty anymore, it was your choice. Rather than working on autopilot and making yourself invisible to him, you were more fulfilled this way.
He sat at the same chair he always did in the dining room, at the position where he would be the "head" of the table, except you were sat closely at his side.
A dark blue fleece was zipped to the top of his neck, reminding you of his white one, with matching track pants. Even when he zipped his jackets to his chin, he never drowned in his clothes when they fit him perfectly. His hair was styled up again with gel, after all the days recently that he wore it down.
"Make sure you go back to sleep after this," he said, filling his glass spoon with soup.
You nodded, glancing to the dishes you were sharing. "Just wanted to see you off."
His bright eyes trailed over your face, making you conscious so early in the morning. While he looked refreshed in the morning, you felt you looked groggy - then again, you were still in your pyjamas, with the intention of going back to sleep. "You are not resting well lately. I wonder if you even slept while you were working."
Your eyes drifted at his consideration, unable to answer. While working as a maid, you were used to sleeping early and waking at the crack of dawn. You forced your body to feel like it had gotten a fulfilling night's sleep, just because you went to sleep early.
"I'll sleep after," you promised. He fretted over you and you fretted over him; it seemed the two of you went in circles. "Your first day is exciting."
A subtle taunt filled his eyes. "You are more excited than me."
"I suppose I am," you responded. "Rin already went back?"
"He went to the facility yesterday."
You played with the soup in your bowl, heat steaming your face. Rin had told you they weren't allowed phones at the facility, so as a mentor, it was a good way for Sae to check on his brother.
After breakfast, Sae took his things and stepped into his trainers. You lingered in the foyer, wearing one of the cardigans he'd bought you in Spain.
"What are you doing today?" he asked.
"Some courses. Maybe I'll go on a walk," you said. "Online classes haven't started yet."
Only a short while had passed since you began to think of what you want to do with your life. You'd driven the car a few times with Sae, and you were looking for a driving instructor too. You'd booked your place in online courses and classes, and in-person ones, that hadn't began yet, but would open for their first sessions sometime this week or the next.
You looked into things to both fill your time and have a range of experience, rather than solely housekeeping work. You just wanted to be good enough in the field of academia that was never an option for you until now.
The thought of meeting new people was an obstacle you were nervous to get over. If and when you enrolled in university, it would be unavoidable, so you'd better test out your social skills now. The courses and classes you'd booked were for all ages - perhaps it was worth meeting people from all walks of life.
"Take it easy," Sae responded, taking his coat from the rack.
Hadn't you been doing too much of that?
It dawned on you how sheltered you really were from others your age. Your life was unconventional, yet boring. You had nothing to talk about or say.
There would be people your age who worked before university, but they definitely wouldn't have been a live-in maid for years at many different places.
Sae easily noticed your hesitation when he was ready to go. "What happened?"
You rubbed your arms shyly, eyes drifting as you struggled to find a reply.
"It's…fine."
He stared, and you knew he was looking right through your facade. "We can talk later or now."
You didn't voice most of your insecurities to Sae, incase he'd get sick of your personality easily. It felt hard to heal from the amount you had.
"We can talk later," you muttered, glancing to the floor as you realized there was no getting out of it. You wouldn't ruin his day with your emotions.
The air was silent, before he took the few steps forward to you. You didn't need to look to see that he was close, with the hinted scent of his masculine cologne.
"Tell me," he breathed.
You couldn't face him, when you said, "I…can I…have a hug goodbye?"
You felt like a child, voice small and asking for something mundane, as if you depended on him to keep your emotions balanced. It was hard to accept love and ask to be love, when you'd never leaned on anyone but yourself before.
Your offer hung in the air as your voice sank into the silence, and your head went still from bowing it to the ground. He released a small sigh and you dared to glance up, in case he was angry.
A small, subtle smile tinged on his lips, as if to beckon you, before wrapping his arms around you.
His scent fully immersed you, as did his warmth that was more engulfing than a fluffy blanket. His chin rested atop of your head, his soft breath flushing over you as his chest gently rose up and down. Air left your mouth in relief that he accepted you and that his strong arms shielded you.
Masculine cologne and laundry detergent against his clothes and skin became something akin to home for you. Your body felt tickly in his hands sometimes, proclaiming how touch-starved you were.
You'd always been wary if a man was about to enclose you into his space. You'd gotten good at suspecting when and if something along those lines were about to happen, and you'd luckily been successful at avoiding it every time.
With Sae, his body felt like it was made to have yours against it. You didn't need to fight it; you'd just need to get used to it.
"You continue to ask for things," he stated in a low murmur.
"I can't take from you," you responded, forehead pressing into his chest as a nervous, shaky breath left you.
"Am I not already yours?"
The words caused your body to still, while your heart hammered behind your chest. His words hung in the foyer, and would continue to haunt your mind for the rest of the day.
There was little to no opacity to his feelings anymore.
You'd been completely bewitched in his spell, you didn't consider that he was yours as much as you were his.
"I'll see you later," he said, since you'd been shocked into silence.
He pulled away, releasing you from his warmth and scent. You didn't have the courage to pull him back. Cracks of concern lingered in his gaze.
"Have a good day," you managed to say.
SAE'S POV
Throughout his first day as a mentor at Blue Lock, there wasn't anything new to Sae. He met the players and listened to Ego's dramatic speech, before he watched them play a few games against each other.
Every player acted like they were going to die. Everyone except Rin, who was arguably the most talented of them all, without Sae's bias. For all Sae knew, Ego must've shot the eliminated players out back. Shidou had been muzzled and tied up when Sae met him, but that was Shidou after all.
Either way, his first day had been boring and he just wanted to get home to you.
Was this how the average person felt when they were at work, separated from their significant other? He wasn't sure if he was glad that you were the only good part of his day.
Both of you used to go the entire day without each other when you were his maid, and he wondered how. It was when he trained with the U-20s, and they were far longer days - with how early he left and how late he returned.
His schedule at Blue Lock was flexible, but he didn't need to be in for the whole day; he thought it was important for the first day to be there for all sessions. Yet, he found himself craving your presence during a shorter day than he was used to.
In the late afternoon, he put in the code and the front door clicked open.
Back then, you'd stood at the door to greet him for the first time. You tried to make yourself small in front of him, but you'd respectfully greeted him. He'd only made you feel even smaller by being cold towards you on your first day.
You'd managed to avoid him like it was a matter of life or death.
This time, you were at the door in pyjamas. Your feet were bare and you wore the same cardigan from this morning over you.
"Hi…" you greeted, gently.
The scent of food from the kitchen wafted the air, as he stepped out of his shoes. "Have you been cooking?"
It was his light way of scolding you. You'd be in joking trouble with him if you continued to cook or clean.
"I need to eat too…" you trailed off, tilting your head with a small smile. It was cute when you did that. "How was your day?"
"Fine." He sighed. "Tell me about yours."
Sae was relieved to find out you didn't spend the entire day cooking, and that you'd done some online courses and gone on a walk. After dinner, he went upstairs to shower.
When he was changed in his pyjamas, he returned downstairs, but you were nowhere to be found. He assumed you disappeared to your room. He turned the lights off downstairs, even if it was only the early evening.
In that moment, Sae had wondered if he was too attached to you. He couldn't call himself clingy. Even he wasn't foolish enough to believe that his cold affection could possibly touch clinginess - which was not a positive thing.
He retired back to his room and sat his legs under the coveres, where for the first time, his sole presence made him feel lonely.
After a while, there was a small knock at his bedroom door and Sae thought he was going crazy.
"Come in."
You opened the door and stepped in, wearing the same pyjamas from earlier.
"There you are," he found himself murmuring. He couldn't help himself and patted his bed, beside him. He didn't pull aside the duvet for you, although his lap was underneath it, incase it was too forward for you. "Did you have something to do?"
You shook your head and sat on his bed. He was glad you sat closer and crossed your legs, rather than sitting on the edge. You smelled of fresh laundry and roses. "No, just thought you wanted to relax."
A breath released Sae before he realized it. Your tone was casual, as if your assumption of his indifference towards you was simply fact. Was this how it had always been? You strongly believed he didn't want to be around you.
"What about your presence doesn't make me relax?" he asked, before remembering something. "What was it you were thinking about this morning?"
He recalled your hesitance and sudden quietude, where he wished he lived in your mind instead of having to leave in the morning. Since it wasn't possible, he wouldn't allow you to keep things to yourself anymore.
"Just…I feel so socially inept," you spoke, brows knitting as you described yourself. "I have nothing to talk about, with people I'll meet at university."
Sae gave a nod. He could relate, although he never cared to socialize. He'd lived an eventful life that many gushed over, but you were just beginning to build a life you could talk about positively.
"I could tell you that those people are not important, but they very well may be," he began. "There will be people that understand you and relate to you somehow, if it's not entirely. Even if you do not tell them everything."
He wanted you to have a better experience with people than he did. He'd grown up thinking no one would ever understand him, among the billions of people on the earth. Yet, he'd finally found one where he'd least expected it.
Maybe if he were different, he wouldn't have been a workaholic ever since he was thirteen, at the academy in Madrid. Perhaps he would have been a striker if he were happier.
"My life has been so rushed and unstable, that I never realized how peculiar it was," you responded. He could see the cogs turning in your head, as you tried to make sense of your reality until now.
But, did you need to?
"It doesn't define who you are," Sae replied. "You can be…who you wish to be."
A small smile morphed on your lips, far more relaxed than you'd been this morning. "Thank you, Sae."
"It's easier to tell me." He was half-teasing you, although his tone was dry as usual.
"Actually, I was thinking. Maybe I could volunteer at the library for now?" you asked, shuffling closer. Sae's eyes scanned you, as you seemingly didn't do it on purpose. "Something else, before university applications."
He nodded. "If you want to. How many days a week?"
"One will do for now."
"You don't need to ask me permission," he said. He was repeating himself along these lines, such as telling you not to cook or clean - but he also wanted to rid of any obligation in your mind to get his approval.
"I know. Just…seeing what you think," you replied, quietly.
You cared what he thought?
How undeserving he was.
"How will you get there, in case I'm working?" he asked, ridding of self-loathing thoughts. Public transit was pretty much nonexistent near here and taxis were unreliable. "Do you know how to ride a bicycle?"
Your brows rose and nodded. "I do."
"I have bikes, if you wish," he offered. He immediately felt a pang of guilt that he'd forgot about them until now, but he'd honestly forgotten many details of the house when he moved back in. They would have been a help to you when you first began working for him, especially when he was cruel enough to make you retrieve groceries on foot. He didn't know you didn't drive back then, but he still should have checked as your employer.
"That would be great help. Thank you, Sae," you replied. Even if your smile was calm, you were beaming under the dim light of his room and he wasn't worthy of such a look or reaction.
"You thank me for small things," he observed.
"It's the right thing to do," you responded. You were polite, of course you were. He hoped it wasn't because he was formerly your employer.
"There are no rules between us anymore," he countered, his words carrying more meaning than intended.
"I don't know what else to say, except thank you," you said, sheepishly.
"Try me."
A pregnant pause passed.
"Then…I missed you. Today," you spoke hesitantly, stunning him. His blinking sped up, and his expression caused you to backtrack, "I…not to sound clingy-"
"Clingy?" he asked in disbelief, at how you felt the same as his thoughts from just a moment ago. "You call this clingy?"
"I'm not sure how clingy to be with the one I love," you said, before your eyes widened. "I-"
His heart pounded, faster than he thought was possible.
The one I love.
It rang in Sae's mind like an ear worm with a catchy tune.
You weren't digging yourself further into a hole. Rather, you'd pulled Sae along with you. You were both on the same page and it relieved him to no end.
"That is what I am to you, aren't I?" he asked.
He saw you swallow, eyes searching between his to see if it was a trick. The sincerity in his expression made you nod.
"Yes."
"What a relief," he murmured.
Your brows furrowed in disbelief, observing whatever he would do next. Sae didn't seem like himself, but he felt more alive than he'd ever been.
"There's many things I wish I told you. Things I want to tell you," he added, running a hand through his hair. "I suppose I've got all the time in the world to tell you now, don't I?"
Sae had never stressed about unspoken words before, the way he did with you. He had little patience with himself that he'd kept his feelings from you for so long.
You gave a small nod, curious eyes glancing to his. "Can I know one now?"
Sae's eyes smiled before his mouth did, where a chuckle escaped him, white teeth on show.
Switching from one job to another as a maid wasn't easy when you had no home to go back to and your many bad experiences with previous employers. Somehow, you'd ended up as the maid for Itoshi Sae, a famous footballer. He was back in Japan to train for an upcoming match and needed someone to take care of things at his estate. You kept things in order as best as you could, in fear of his intimidating presence. As a few mishaps occur here and there, you're convinced Sae despises you even more - but he doesn't fire you, for some reason.
• shy reader, angst, anxiety/worrying, intimidation, hurt/comfort, Itoshi Sae is bad at feelings. inspired by this story!
Sae's thumb dropped from your lip, almost inching back to reality. He was still under the haze of you, although it came to him that he'd been intense for what seemed to be your first kiss.
If he wasn't your first, then he hoped whichever man who was lucky enough to catch your interest was someone better than him.
Hands released from his hair and shoulder as you caught your breath. Sae had half a mind to not ask you to put them back. He didn't move and neither did you, despite the absence of physical contact from just seconds ago.
He didn't doubt his lips were pinker now; unintentionally a mark of your territory on both his mouth and heart. He felt the same heartbeat in his lips that he'd felt on yours, if not harder.
After all, Itoshi Sae was just a man.
He'd attempted to stomp on the small flame that had lit between the two of you, but it exploded and he couldn't avoid it any longer.
"So, I'm fired?" you asked, voice slightly hoarse.
He felt another small smile on his face, a rarity for Sae. "I hope you don't put that on your resume."
Despite his relief that you didn't regret the kiss, Sae also felt trepidation upon finding out you'd been upset from missing your interview.
If only he'd taken the time to master the art of speaking to you, just like he did to be a footballer, then perhaps he would have extinguished his reticence ages ago.
Sae kept everyone at arm's length, with the world in his palm. Yet, your feelings were out of reach and he found himself wanting and wanting like a spoiled child.
"What about you, Sae?" you murmured, breaking him away from his discernment. "What are your plans here?"
He blinked away from your lips. "I'm going to be a mentor at Blue Lock."
Your irises widened, and Sae found himself glancing to the headboard behind you for a moment.
Of course, you were beautiful. That was a fact ever since the day he'd come home and you'd been there at the door for the first time. Impossibly, you were even more beautiful after he'd kissed you.
"Oh, wow," you replied. "How did that come about?"
"Ego-san and I are similar," Sae spoke. It wasn't a difficult role for him to get. Blue Lock was a concept that interested Sae, as well as Rin in the program - which had made Sae stay in Japan in the first place.
With Sae's input and after Blue Lock had won against the U-20s, perhaps there was hope for Japanese soccer. Teaming up with Ego seemed to be right since they both had connections outside of Japan.
You gave a nod. "Is…that where you've been lately?"
The hesitation in your gentle voice sped Sae's heart with guilt, so suddenly that he didn't believe his body to be capable.
Your presence became his comfort before he'd realized it, especially since Spain where the two of you spoke more. Yet, he'd taken advantage of your presence by not telling you anything at all, because of his insecurity that you'd leave him.
But, somehow…
I lied too.
I have a reason. It's all you.
"Yes," he answered, attempting to ignore the wound of guilt in his chest.
"What about…ReAl Madrid?" you added, quietly. "How long will you be a mentor?"
Sae's teal eyes trailed off in thought. He didn't worry too much, neither did ReAl Madrid.
He'd talked things out with his ReAl Madrid manager over the phone, who thought it was a good idea for Sae to become a mentor at Blue Lock.
He'd never taken a break from playing football, but he'd step back from the stage to ensure the spotlight was on Rin. Sae didn't doubt his own abilities, nor did he believe they would diminish, especially if he was still working within football.
He simply knew his own limits, which was why he could no longer become a striker, as much as Rin still hated the idea.
"It'll always be an option for me to return. Just not now," he answered. "In a few years. In the meantime, I'll be at Blue Lock for as long as Ego-san wants me."
Rin pushed Sae back to Japan, but you held him down like quicksand. He wondered how you'd learned to read people, or if it was simply that you were more complicated yourself - that others seemed translucent.
"I see. What will you be doing as a mentor?" you asked.
"Train the players, test and rank them with Ego-san. I'll be more involved in their training than he is," he spoke with a nod.
"And, what about you?" he added. Your brows lifted at the question. "Whatever plans you wish to make, it's up to you now."
"What do you mean?" you questioned.
"If you want to live elsewhere or find another job, I'll help you. Nothing is stopping you anymore," he began. He understood if you didn't want to live with him, if you wouldn't be working here anymore - he could just only hope you'd stay in contact. "If you want to do nothing, that is fine."
"But I'm already fired…" you mumbled, puzzled at his words.
"I mean, change career," he clarified.
He didn't want you to return to this field of work if you felt you had no choice.If it were entirely up to him, he'd want you to rest here for almost forever to make up for all the rest you'd missed from working.
At the beginning, you must have feared that he was the same as the men from your previous jobs. The ones that didn't separate you from a piece of meat.
You blinked, confused at his words.
Were you so accustomed to working as a maid, or was the thought of leaving here so absurd?
The latter felt like Sae's pipe dream, but it was clear the former weighed down your options.
He'd had it easy and he never realized just how much. It seemed that you weren't given the opportunity to even find what you enjoyed, let alone how Sae had made a successful career from football after being scouted when he was thirteen.
"You don't need to answer now," he said, glancing to the duvet.
"But…what happens to me now?" you whispered, hopelessness glimmering in your eyes. He only wished he had the answers to the future for you.
"No work here. Aside from that, whatever you want. You can stay here and take your time."
Your expression flashed with bewilderment.
Sae wished he could reach out and smooth the worry from your face, but he kept his hands in front of him.
All he wanted to give you was choice, which is what he failed to do from the beginning.
"But I…have nothing," you repeated the words from before he'd kissed you. You let out a small breath, looking all the more perplexed. "Nothing to give you, Sae."
"I'm not here to exchange with you," he responded.
There was nothing you needed to give him.
The words hung over him like a cloud, falling into silence again. Sae considered if it was time to leave you for the night. The tea he'd brought you still lingered with steam, and you hadn't drank much yet.
You didn't seem to have been settling to sleep when he'd walked in with the tea, nor was it late, but you must've felt overwhelmed from his words regarding your future and…the kiss.
"Sae," you said, surprising him that you'd broken the silence again.
"Hm?"
Your eyes flickered to the copy of North & South he'd moved aside, when he told you he would stay in Japan forever.
"May you read to me?"
YOUR POV
You surprised yourself with the request, but not as much as how Sae offered to go in his room again.
He'd even said you were free to go in his room whenever you wished, for however long you wanted. You almost got whiplash at how opposite things were from just months ago.
He sat at the end of his bed, North & South in his lap. His deep voice read long sentences of heavy text with effortless ease.
It was the most you'd ever heard him speak. His tone ever so slightly inflected for dialogue, but only in a way where you'd notice. He definitely wouldn't be favored by literature teachers with his lack of emotion, but it made you smile at how he tried to make it somewhat clear when characters spoke.
He was sat in the same place you were the other night, before you'd both ended up in your "almost kiss".
You, on the other hand, were currently sat on his window seat to avoid spilling the half-drunken cup of tea all over his bed. The coral peony candles flickered from the unlit fireplace beside you.
With the distance, it could not have been obvious that you'd kissed earlier on. The space was enough coexistence to let a thought intrude into your mind.
For the first time, you would need to pull yourself from the state of inertia.
You wanted to stay at the estate with Sae; that was nothing new to you. But if you were fired and you finally had a place to live, what would you do with yourself now?
There was a place that you could eventually call home, and that alone was a lot to comprehend. Continuing to work as a maid elsewhere didn't seem right for you anymore, as foreign as that concept seemed. You didn't have a barrier between life and work ever since you started in his line of work.
"Is it too much so far?" asked Sae, referring to the book.
He must have noticed your blank gaze while your thoughts wandered off. He'd been reading for about fifteen minutes so far.
The chapters of North & South were long, with even longer sentences, that there was enough room for your mind to partly drift. Still, you could deduce conversations and slow plot that was happening.
You shook your head, glancing to your now empty cup. "No, sorry."
He paused, before closing the book. "My throat is getting dry."
He stood from the bed to take a sip of water. It gave you a moment to collect yourself, before he sat back down.
"What are you thinking?"
"Just…about what I should do," you answered, honestly. "How did you decide to become a mentor at Blue Lock?"
The sleeves of his white shirt slightly crinkled as he folded his arms, considering your words. "I missed a lot of Rin's life. That was all I thought."
You tried to apply something similar to your life - but you couldn't think of anything. You had no one like a sibling or family.
He must have noticed your difficulty, adding, "It's different for everyone."
Regardless, you were relieved Sae went to this extent of making amends with Rin.
The day Sae found out you'd involved yourself into his and Rin's business, you felt like you'd destroyed something you weren't supposed to even know. You'd wondered into his private garden and trampled over beds of flowers.
You sighed and nodded, wrapping a hand around the empty mug tightly, like it kept you grounded to the earth. "I'm just not used to having time."
He shifted slightly, but he didn't pick the book back up, continuing to glance at you from the bed.
"May I ask about," he hesitated, which wasn't common for Sae whose words were typically unapologetic, "your life before?"
For once, you didn't feel the nerves bubbling in your stomach, or the erratic beat of your heart at the mention - because you felt there was nothing to fear in telling him.
"The orphanage was really fine and normal. Nothing bad happened," you answered quietly.
It was an orphanage in a small, rural village. Daily life there was simply fine, the staff were normal. They never had much money to take the children out often, but you had fond memories of your first trip to the beach when you were six, or visiting a farm and petting cows.
You couldn't help but look back on the orphanage as a place where everyone filled a role. Perhaps it was because of how quickly you'd gone into full-time housekeeping work to support yourself that you noticed it. The staff who looked after the children as their day job, and the children who attempted to enjoy their childhood.
You, on the other hand, had no role. Since you were a little girl, you'd felt you were nothing, not even a spec of dust.
"And after?" he asked.
"I found a job for housekeeping with boarding," you began, throat drying while you recalled how it all started. "Each job let me go, so I always ended up moving around to the next one."
"That's why you thought I'd let you go?" he asked, putting pieces together. You nodded.
The tentativeness of his words made you feel both humongous and small, that he'd continue to remember instances of your worries.
You weren't sure if he was referring to recently, with him almost moving to Spain, or the other times you'd worried about things that were trivial to you now - like breaking the china cup.
Back then, you couldn't have pictured Sae to be half of what he ostensibly was.
"Was every employer the same?" The baritone interrupted your thoughts of the man in front of you.
You knew what he was referring to. He'd already figured it out without you ever explicitly telling him. You'd wondered if you'd been obvious, or if it was common enough for men to act in such a way with young female employees.
"Almost," you mumbled.
You only had a few good employers of elderly couples, but those jobs were always temporary and short. They needed assistance due to their health. You'd filled in the role of their usual housekeepers who were on leave, making you envious that the other housekeeper had kind and normal employers. Their duties followed a routine that was to make their lives easier, not to humiliate you.
You felt like you were helping them, instead of being a trophy of status for rich men.
"Did they…."
You shifted against the window seat, feeling the cold of the window against your back despite the small curtain behind you. "They didn't do anything to me. Not…anything physical."
Sae lightly rubbed at his forearms, while his eyes narrowed.
"But they said things, didn't they?" His tone was not short of revulsion.
"If I'd stayed any longer, it could have escalated further," you added, your words indirectly answering his question.
It was a thought you'd never voiced, not even in the space of your own mind.
In a way, the reasons and situations why previous employers let you go were a blessing in disguise, like bankruptcy or divorce. You hoped they stayed that way forever, so they would never have the means to hire another young girl to bother again. You hoped you were the last.
"I can't imagine," he muttered.
Sae was at a loss for words, without a solution. The events had passed and you were left with mental scars that were healing with time here.
SAE'S POV
When Sae was around a lot of green grass, he tended to be taken away.
Since he was a child, he was in his element. He'd had the grass to hold onto when he'd left for Spain at thirteen, or the first night he'd returned to Japan and rejected Rin as his brother.
Now, as he stepped beside Rin in the school field, the grass did nothing to keep Sae grounded. He was hyperaware of every leaf that crunched under his shoe or every sniff from Rin's nose.
It was the same school field they'd played in as children and teenagers. Sae played football, with an even younger Rin adorably playing with his toys behind the net. Rin soon switched toys for footballs, as soon as he watched Sae play.
If only Sae hadn't made Rin grow up so quickly, perhaps Sae would still see the same light in his eyes from when they'd played soccer together.
His magenta hair blew in all directions of the winter wind, as did Rin's dark hair. They slowly strolled along the outskirts of the field through the wind, both in winter coats with their faces freezing.
The artificial grass for soccer behind the net was occupied by a group of young teenage boys. Some wore blue jerseys and some wore red ones to establish two teams.
The game gave Sae something else to look at, in attempt to get used to how his brother was back by his side again, with his increased height.
"I wanted to tell you. Before you go back to Blue Lock," Sae spoke, over the wind that he almost wished blared more, so he wouldn't have to talk. Sae never felt he had to talk, and maybe that was his problem.
He'd visited their family's home earlier on to tell Rin that he'd be a mentor at Blue Lock, before Sae invited him for a walk.
They walked to where their feet led their bodies, ending up at the soccer field they'd spent their childhood in. Pass the convenience store and along the bridge where the sun used to shine; when the days had a feeble grasp on the summer's warmth.
They didn't get ice lollies to see who'd won another free one like they'd used to, with how cold it was. Rin always won and Sae always sulked by telling him he was wasting his luck on something trivial.
If Sae was going to be a better brother, it was right to do things clearly. He didn't want Rin to think that he was mentoring at Blue Lock as a threat or taunt, or to let him find out Sae was a mentor without even telling him beforehand.
Sae had already joined the U-20s for the game against Blue Lock and stayed back in Japan without telling Rin personally.
Still, Sae didn't miss the confusion on Rin's face when he'd told him about Blue Lock. He didn't doubt the younger was contemplating if this was another test.
Sae figured he'd ease Rin's mind slightly by going on a walk, but he wasn't sure if memories of the field would make things better.
Rin gave a nod, keeping his head forward. "I hope you like it, Nii-chan."
"You should get to know the other players, since I'm going to be mentoring everyone," Sae spoke. He stepped on another leaf, but its crunch wasn't as satisfying as he expected.
The trees at the edge of the field were bare, branches blowing in the wind with stray leaves on the slightly muddy grass. He wondered what you were up to at home, or if you'd gone out in this cold.
You were relaxing in the living room when he'd told you he was going to visit Rin. You were finally using other rooms in the house, instead of just the kitchen and your room, now that you were officially fired. Sae hoped you utilized the library more, at least.
Days had passed since the kiss. You hadn't done it again, even if Sae wondered day and night about what your next kiss would be like. He would slap himself if he was as impulsive as he'd been against your lips the first time.
Things had warmed up between you two. He spent the days with you, since Sae hadn't began mentoring at Blue Lock yet and the players were still on break. He'd now completed all preparations for his new role, but he wouldn't join until the program reached a new phase.
Before going to Spain with you, it was normal for him to be out all day when he trained with the U-20s. But after Spain, he'd grown addicted to your presence and attention, and wondered how he'd gone without it. He gotten withdrawals since you'd both returned to Tokyo, when he'd been out for most of the day to arrange for his new role at Blue Lock.
"What do you mean?" asked Rin.
"They're only a threat on the field," Sae responded, but he knew he didn't take his own advice.
He never saw anyone from the U-20s as a threat - one would be foolish to do so - but he'd never bonded with them because they were simply unlikeable to him. Hell, he'd even had contracts to cooperate with them; the ones you'd retrieved and brought to the training grounds when a fight was about to break out with Aiku.
Rin lightly scoffed. "You sound like Isagi Yoichi now."
"If he wants to talk to you, then you should."
"Yeah, right," Rin muttered.
"Is there anyone you like?" Sae asked. Had he rubbed on his brother this much that Rin was also antisocial? Sae didn't recall Rin talking with any of them after the Blue Lock vs U-20s game.
Then again, Sae had acknowledged Isagi Yoichi right to Rin's face just after the game.
Rin slightly sighed, giving it a thought. "There's one with blue hair. He's fine."
"Then talk to him," Sae said.
"You do not like anyone either," Rin pointed out quietly.
"I know."
"Anyone aside from…" Rin trailed off. Sae knew who he was referring to; he did not need to say your name. "Oh, how is she?"
The last time Rin probably heard from you was the day Sae had gotten angry at you for meeting with him. "Better."
Rin simply gave a nod in response.
They'd almost walked a lap around the field. The team of boys wearing blue jerseys had scored two points. Sae wasn't sure which team was in the lead, since the group were there before the brothers had arrived.
"You don't need my permission to talk to her. You still have her number?" asked Sae, and Rin nodded again.
You'd probably be happy to hear from Rin if he contacted you again. Maybe he found it easier with you. Sae didn't blame him.
"What's going on between you two?" asked Rin.
Sae slowed in his footsteps, coming to a stop by the fences. His lips were cold from the wind, while Rin's nose was red. Still, Sae's face wasn't quite frozen enough to hide the shock of the sudden question.
He, himself, didn't know the answer, but he wasn't sure he needed to. He wanted you, and that was all there was to it.
"Shall I tell you?" asked Sae, more of a question to himself. He wouldn't tell Rin details of your past - that would be strange. "If I do, you may hate me again."
After all, when you'd began working for Sae, he'd been the villain in his own story.
Rin shrugged, continuing to slowly walk. "Never did."
Butterflies released in Sae's stomach at the comment, before he began strolling beside Rin again. "You should have."
"You told me the day before you left for Spain, that no one would replace you, Nii-chan," said Rin.
"Stop viewing me as your idol, Rin," Sae replied. Many put Sae on a pedestal. He'd never opened up about his struggles to Rin while he was in Spain, so he must have seemed untouchable - hence why his decision to be a midfielder instead of a striker was sudden to Rin.
"But you were already thinking about your future," Rin responded quietly. "Since we were young."
"I had my limits," Sae said. There wasn't one instance or reason that had caused him to give up the dream of becoming a striker. Sae never felt the difficulties of being a midfielder that most definitely did exist, but he felt it with being a striker. He couldn't settle by coexisting with strikers from different countries that were better than him.
Unlike Rin, he couldn't see himself surpassing them.
A cloud of condensation released in the air from Rin's breath, glancing to the football game behind the net. "I don't believe it to be true. Would you ever try being a striker again?"
Sae inhaled through his mouth, feeling himself wanting to deflect again. He'd wanted you to believe in yourself more and he wanted the same for Rin. But had he been believing in himself, this entire time? Or, had he been pretending to?
"Maybe one day," he muttered.
Rin turned his head to Sae with wide bright eyes, the only vibrant color on the grey day where even the green grass was faded beneath their feet. "Really? That's great, Nii-chan."
Sharing a dream with Rin was all it took to bring the smile back to his face, but it was Sae's responsibility to understand his brother was more important than any dream - a responsibility he had failed.
In Sae's tough love, he showed Rin no love. If Sae hadn't been harsh, there was the possibility that Rin would have never joined Blue Lock. Then again, Rin was always good at soccer, with rage or not. Sae didn't doubt Rin would have gotten scouted somewhere regardless.
Throughout his time with you, Sae learned that nothing was permanent. He'd held onto the fantasy of you for long, ultimately leaving you in the dark of whether he'd stay here or leave for Spain, instead of confronting his feelings.
If nothing was permanent, then neither was his drive to continue to be a midfielder. He'd taught Rin to always want more, while hypocritically not doing the same himself. Maybe Blue Lock would teach Sae things about himself and his own career.
"I don't know what the future holds," Sae responded.
Rin blinked, subsiding the happiness in his expression. "Of course, I'll always look up to you."
Sae's heart thumped behind his coat and he clenched his jaw at how unsteady Rin's words made him feel.
"I'll always be your brother. Everything else is fleeting."
Rin didn't respond and sniffed. For a moment, it sounded like the boy was crying, but in actuality, Rin's nose was still runny.
Sae gave a small tut, slowing in his tracks again.
"Idiot. You didn't being your scarf." He unwrapped the black scarf from around his own neck and looped it snugly around Rin's. He'd just had you ill at home, he couldn't have Rin going back to Blue Lock with a cold too.
Rin's body stilled. Sae avoided his younger brother's shocked gaze that he could be kind.
Rin's eyes trailed to the grass as Sae stepped back, as if it could keep him grounded too. "Weren't you going to tell me about you and her?"
"You really want to know?" Sae raised his brows.
Rin nodded. "I want to know how my brother finally fell in love."
Sae let out a scoff at the word finally, a light smile morphing onto his face because it was true.
You were the forefront of his mind, and now his life. He wanted to step back from himself for a change and perhaps caring for you would make him discover himself too. His feelings for you unfolded without him noticing, until he'd fallen too deep.
"I'll tell you from the beginning."
YOUR POV
"Is there anything you wish to do?" asked Sae, as he flipped through a football magazine. "A trip?"
You were beside him in the living room, North & South between the two of you and in front of the TV playing daytime television quietly in the background. TV was something you were not accustomed to yet, and it didn't cure your boredom as you found nothing you wanted to watch.
Sae wore a white button-up today, with a few undone buttons and his hair down. Strands that usually framed both sides of his forehead fell in a natural short fringe instead. The color was lighter without the dampness of gel to darken his hair into the crimson shade.
Did he say another trip?
You shook your head. "No, that's really okay. I love the house."
"But you're bored," he said, blinking.
If you had other hobbies, you wouldn't be so bored. Or, someone to visit. Sae had gone to see Rin the other day, maybe you could have met up with Aiku.
You still felt guilty for bothering Aiku last time, so maybe you'd message him later on first, to talk over text and see how he was doing before asking to meet up. You wondered how he'd react at the developments between you and Sae, although you hadn't kissed again.
While you were a housekeeper here, you'd been bored enough when it came to cleaning - seeing as how you and Sae barely used the house, but at least you had his meals to cook as a routine.
Now, you lived in the house and simply looked after it, and Sae did the same. You hoovered when it needed it and cleaned up after yourself. You would have done more, but Sae would offer to do it instead or tell you you weren't allowed to work.
You woke up later now which was your favorite change, no longer a walking zombie. Your body ached less with a full night of sleep that didn't require you to wake up as early as Sae used to for training.
Besides, the two of you cooked and ate together now. It was both a drastic and calming change to when you ran out of ideas to cook him, or made sure everything was prepared before his arrival.
"If only the weather wasn't so cold. I'd love to go in the gardens," you said, imagining days where the breeze would smell like flowers.
You loved the winter, but in your current predicament, you were stuck with nothing to do inside.
"The flowers are probably dead. You can plant some more when the time comes," Sae offered. You wondered if he'd tended to them before, if the flowers were dead from the weather, or if he didn't have time for it.
Your brows rose, imaging colorful beds of flowers. "Really?"
"I don't see why not," he nodded. "Do whatever you want with the house and gardens."
"I couldn't…"
He let out a small sigh, closing the magazine, as if it were absurd you still felt this way. "It's worth making this place into a home."
You paused at the words. It was true that nothing in the house, aside from Sae's room, felt lived-in. Lately it began to feel homey. Both of your presence lingered in rooms you were absent in, with your cardigan on the couch, or his books left on the kitchen island.
It made you wonder…
"Sae…" you started.
"Hm," he responded, glancing up from his magazine again.
"I'm actually curious about the house," you started, but you weren't sure what to say. Did he buy it? Have it built? "The entire estate."
He rested his jaw on his hand, the silver watch on his wrist glimmering. "The house was already here, but I had the area built into an estate."
You nodded at the information. "When was that?"
"Few years ago. When I first came back to Spain," he said.
Your eyes traced over his magenta brows, as well as his bright eyes - making sure your curiosity didn't steer him uncomfortable. Nowadays, he was open to answer any of your questions, and you were more relaxed in asking him.
"Did you stay for long?" you asked.
He shook his head. "No. I had no purpose here."
You expected him to talk about the hopelessness of Japanese football. Instead, his answer was more existential than you assumed someone like him would feel.
He must have been around eighteen when he first came back to Spain. You didn't doubt his wealth for the estate had come from his hard work at an early age, since he'd joined ReAl Madrid.
Still, you always thought it was a huge place for one person. That was why you thought Sae must've had a spouse, in the beginning.
"Do you…prefer Spain?" you hesitated, remembering all your observations of how he'd kept himself close to Japanese culture and language, or even the geographical location of his belongings.
You knew the answer was obvious. Yet, you wanted to hear what else he had to say.
"I don't prefer either," he answered deeply, making your brows furrow. "I tried to make myself think I did."
His unexpected answer went against any introspection you had of Sae. Everything he'd said in his interviews about Japanese soccer seemed to be his true belief, but the reality was that he actually did not prefer Spain as a country. Perhaps he preferred neither because they both seemed to carry aspects of himself.
"Why?" you whispered.
"I fell out with Rin on the night I came back from Spain. I told him I didn't want to be a striker anymore," he said, telling you the events Rin had explained to you before. "Then, I stayed in Japan for a while and had the estate made. Living here still seemed pointless, even after that."
Maybe, there was the possibility that Sae wanted to live here with Rin, or that the idea of it would make him feel closer to Rin, than he actually was.
Despite his relaxed posture beside you, with ankles loosely crossed, you didn't miss the flexing of his fingers that rested against his jaw.
"I used to feel like I didn't belong anywhere," you responded, softly. You weren't sure how to comfort his past feelings. They were new to you that you didn't want to overstep.
His head turned, intently. "And now?"
Your gaze trailed to the book between you, instead of remaining on his eyes. "Like you said, it's worth making a home here."
Silence descended upon the room at the implication of your words. You believed it to be the end of conversation, until he spoke.
"Any ideas on what you want to do next?" he asked, and you knew he was referring to your future.
You let out a breath and shook your head, sheepishly. "There is nothing I'm passionate about."
You spent night and day trying to think of a job you'd both enjoy and be good at. Nothing seemed appealing to you.
Retail or hospitality had aspects similar to a housekeeper, such as organization, cleaning, cooking or serving food, so you weren't sure if you wanted to stick to those in a different environment.
An office job seemed out of the question when you had no experience or knowledge of anything to do with it, regardless of the role or sector.
"What about university?" he asked.
He'd brought it up before, but you didn't think he was serious, nor did you consider it in your contemplations.
It seemed out of reach. Sure, you enjoyed reading, but your grades from high school were simply good - not outstanding. Would you be good enough for a degree?
You weren't even sure what to study either, but perhaps it was a place to narrow things down. If you were to go, you weren't sure what you'd do with a degree. Then again, you'd heard most people felt that way.
"I haven't been in education for a while," you hesitated. "And…isn't it too late to enroll?"
He shook his head. "The semester begins in the spring."
"I don't think I have enough qualifications for it," you said, adding more excuses.
"You can take some courses for more qualifications, if you would like," he said. "Even if you don't want to go to university."
Your brows rose. Somehow, you didn't consider that to be an option either. That would be a good way to ease yourself back into education, especially at the caliber of degree-level. "Really?"
"Yes. I'm assuming you'd want to commute to university, if you did go?" he asked. All you could do was nod. You hadn't thought that far yet, but he was lightyears ahead. You weren't even sure which university you'd go to, let alone how you'd get there. "There is no public transit around here and taxis are unreliable. How do you feel about driving?"
You blinked. Everything was happening so quickly, but Sae made things sound less difficult than they were.
You pictured yourself driving to university in the morning, out of the forest and along the highway, to a lecture. The thought was freeing, albeit fearful, both from the vehicle and building a life for yourself.
This was your chance to live for you, something that had been a daydream while you'd been busy serving others. You worked so much that it became a distraction to not put yourself first, let alone discover yourself.
"I've never done it…" you started. The idea of being behind a wheel made you nervous. Sae made it look so easy that you couldn't picture yourself to get to that stage. "But I could try."
Satisfaction washed over his face and he gave a nod. "I'll teach you as much as I can. When I begin mentoring at Blue Lock, we can find an instructor. And courses or classes for you to take. Maybe after that, you can think about university or not."
Just from one conversation with Sae, you felt like you were ready to start a new chapter. At least, you had enough hope to do so. Your heart warmed at how much faith he had in you, and how practical things were with him.
You let out a small breath, nodding.
"Thank you, Sae," you said gently, "For everything."
His eyebrows twitched, as though there was more he wanted to say. Despite the recent transparency of both of your feelings, it didn't change who you were and how the two of you held back at times. It would take longer for you to become fully open and that was only natural, yet it was an intriguing part about your current bond. "Don't be foolish."
A chuckle escaped you. His gaze flickered down and took the copy of North & South in his hand, shifting so his body faced you.
The action brought you out of your vision of the potential future, shifting uncomfortably from being sat for too long.
He must have noticed, with how he lightly patted his lap. "Lie here."
Sae was still the man he was when you'd first met him. Now, there was a large amount of room in his heart for you, but you were still shocked he openly initiated something physical.
It had been days since your kiss. You didn't think it would be the extent of your intimacy with him, although the kiss he'd given you was so passionate, but other instances of closeness were still foreign to you.
You turned to position yourself, leaning back so your body lay on the couch. The warmth of his lap relaxed your head immediately, feeling the strength of his thighs under your neck to ease any tension of your muscles. He opened North & South to the page of your bookmark.
Admittedly, you wanted to turn your nose into his leg and breath in the expensive cologne of his that lingered on his clothes, but that would be animalistic of you.
It was a relief he wasn't staring at you while he searched for the paragraph he'd last left off from reading to you, giving you a chance to rear your head up to him instead.
The glimmer of silver caught your eye. You unconsciously reached up with slight trembling fingers. He hadn't began reading yet and noticed your movement, breaking his gaze from the book.
As he did, the red pendant floated out from his white button-up shirt. It hung between you like it did when you'd almost kissed that day.
"You're still wearing it," you said, softly. You lightly touched the pendant, causing it to swing like a wind chime.
His teal eyes glanced down at you with content. "No reason not to."
You lightly smiled. He placed the book back beside you, instead of returning back to the pages.
His body shifted slightly, so his face was more parallel to you. You didn't dare utter a word, and neither did he. You only hoped you were thinking the same thing as him, how he was peering at you with a particular glint in his teal eyes.
You rose your upper half from his lap and his hand wrapped around your back. He allowed you to relax while he held you up. Your lower half remained sat on the sofa, but any more and you'd be on his lap. Impossibly, more warmth spread through your body at his touch, or it was your nerves.
Your own hand went to his neck this time, and the other on his bicep, that you expected would travel around his body. You couldn't believe you were touching him before you'd even kissed, to draw him even closer.
Then, you saw it. His peruse to your lips.
He was still somewhat leaning over you, but he didn't need to crane his head to yours as you were more raised. His necklace dangled between you like before, not as complex as a red string of fate anymore. The string was loose, for either of you to tie together at any point, yet it still held on while you waited to give each other what you wanted.
The close-up of his long eyelashes made you certain others were jealous of them. The bottom ones were naturally long, black and defined, adding soft allure to his usual hard eyes.
Your breathing was gentle while his other hand trailed under your chin. His thumb trailed up and relished in your lip balm-coated lip for only a second, while his intense gaze felt like an eternity.
You weren't sure why he'd examined you so much last time, and now - with how he watched you. It was as though he was debating with himself whether to give you what you so ardently desired, or even, what he desired.
"Beautiful," he spoke.
Electricity shot through your body. Your lips parted in a small gasp, giving him the chance to tilt your head and kiss you.
He always took you off guard. You felt your face warm at the compliment and his lips. He was slower than last time, but it didn't make you less overwhelmed, not with the light stroke of his hand on your back, or the skilled move of his lips.
The shock of his lips wasn't dominating, it was the perfect amount of gentle that could keep you to earth, even if you were dizzy already. His lips were soft and he tasted like fruits he'd eaten earlier on, yet his kiss became firmer.
Your hand trailed to his strong chest, while the other traveled back to the back of his hair, returning to run your hands through like before. Your lips hadn't separated as you pulled each other even closer.
His lips blended with yours to the point where you couldn't tell where his exhale ended and your inhale began.
Something warm and moist trailed along the inner corner of your lip. You could only open your mouth, aided by the light squeeze of his hand around your chin. Your fingers in his hair tightened, almost as an anchor to not shy away from him.
His tongue gently rolled over and under yours, not quite fully inserted and locked in your mouth just yet, until you felt the sudden coldness of steel and the feel of a chain against your lip.
You felt his smile form against your mouth, as his necklace pressed between the kiss. You lightly exhaled in response, making him more aware of your breaths.
Before you could taste the steel, he pulled back.
You were left breathless, with the taste of grapes and pineapple against your tongue. Your eyes darted around to his chest, where your hand lay while your other hand loosened from his hair. His heart was doing back flips just like yours, which you would have never expected.
You thought you weren't quite ready to look at him and gauge his reaction, but it seemed he felt the same way. Your bodies hadn't parted from their nearness, only his lips did.
In turn, Sae's head dropped and hid into your neck.
"Sorry," he breathed, chest raising as he gently inhaled.
You stilled at the focus of contact, despite how he'd almost massaged his tongue into yours a moment ago. Your hand didn't move from his head, tracing to lightly stroke the back of his hair and your other one wrapping around his shoulder, before you could think.
The touch only made him nuzzle his head into your neck. You heard him inhale into your neck and he let out a low, muffled sound at the scent. It relieved you that you'd put on your perfume that day in the exact spot.
You swallowed, both from breathlessness and shock.
"For what?" you managed to say.
"I went too far. Again," he said.
"Never," you murmured, stroking over his hair again.
The action only made him pull you closer, with his arms heating your shoulders. Your eyes trailed to the forgotten book.
He eventually rose his head, and you both slowly pulled apart, settling back. There wasn't much space between you to begin with, so you shakily returned to resting your head on his lap while he picked up the book again.
He got to the paragraph he'd been looking for, but he didn't ignore the contract from just moments ago. His hand reached down to stroke and caress your head, beginning to read.
rin had just recently came out fresh from the shower—hair wet,body dripping with water,and a towel wrapped around his waist. but all you can focus on is how tired he looks right now,and gosh, you just want to let him rest his head on your chest until he sleeps well.
“baby,you okay? you sure do look like you’re tired from all that training you endured earlier..” you say softly before taking a long pause, “you should get dressed now if you wanna cuddle with me,’kay?” he nods first before he dries himself off and puts on clothing before jumping into the bed with you. he then buries his head to your chest before he hugs you tightly,not wanting to let go of your warmth.
“my teammates pissed me off again. they’re such a pain in the ass.” he says in a tired and sleepy tone.
“you just need to be cuddled,don’t you?” he doesn’t say anything in return. he’s just too tired to respond already so he just lets you run your fingers through your hair until he finally sleeps.
“goodnight,my rinnie. hope you rest well.” you don’t get anything in return,though. he’s already asleep and was starting to drool on you. he’s just your sweet boy. ♡
a/n: dont ask why this is similar to another rin drabble i wrote..also very rushed sorry i have exams to review aughshs😭 this is a fucking filler post 😭😭
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