summary: jake peralta isn't the most serious detective out there, but he is one of the smartest ones, so the smallest slip up in your body language is enough to out your biggest secret to him.
wc: 1.9k+
Gina leans over your desk, neither of you pretending to pay attention to the email you had received from Hitchcock that you had been previously trying to decipher. Now, both of your attentions are glued to Jake, who’s clearly trying to make a point to Captain Holt. He’s standing in front of the Captain with an undisputed confidence, hands on his hips as he argues that he knows the team better than anyone else in the room. He points at your coworkers one by one as he checks off everyone’s post-work plans until he finally lands on you and Gina, stating “And these two will be getting drinks at their favourite r&b bar before tier ranking us all based on our behaviour this week, and they’ll email us their list by the end of the night with zero spelling errors despite how drunk they are.”
You and Gina don’t even glance at each other before shrugging lightly with matching smiles. Captain Holt’s expression barely changes as he judges you, nodding once and saying “Yes, I was surprised at how highly Scully ranked last week after the perp opera scandal.”
“We actually gave him plus points for that kind of entertainment, and after all, nothing could beat Charles cooking in the break room. We had our lunch in an undisclosed location for the rest of the week.” Amy huffs, rolling her chair back so she can be levelled with you, countering your words. “I wasn’t going to tell anyone where your location was! I had to have lunch in the uniformed officers’ break room on the fourth floor!”
Gina grimaces, tilting her head to the side as she says. “You didn’t have to though.”
Holt waves a hand in your direction to dismiss your conversation, and the three of you go silent as he puffs his chest up, eyes going hard as he questions “And what about detective Diaz?” Jake shrugs, barely looking towards Rosa’s desk as his eyes go blank, face morphing funnily as he instantly replies “I don’t know, I got nothing on her.”
You spin your chair around, catching sight of Rosa as she aimlessly clicks buttons on her computer, logging information from her latest case. Gina grips the back of your chair with her two hands, spinning you around again so you could face your own desk. She laughs with that wide, sarcastic grin of hers, leaning in towards you with a sigh as she repeats “Yeah, no one here knows anything about Rosa.”
Jake rolls his shoulders back as an idea instantly comes to mind. “Everyone round up! Let’s play who knows Rosa best!” Rosa immediately stands at her desk, shutting his idea with a final comment of “None of you know anything about my private life and that’s the way I like things.” Despite her disapproval of Jake’s little game, Rosa approaches the group anyway. Captain Holt sighs, already knowing he’s lost his squad’s attention for the next half hour, and Jake immediately begins steering everyone into the briefing room.
“Stop!” Rosa calls out, causing everyone to freeze. “We’re not playing this game. I’m not going to tell you if your answers are right so you’re not going to get anywhere.” You watch everyone’s faces morph with disappointment, but you can’t help but feel a sense of relief. You don’t know how good at lying you’d be, and if anyone caught you trying to hide the fact that you knew details about Rosa’s life, you’re sure they’d quickly catch onto the fact that there’s more you’re trying to hide. For example, the way Rosa takes you home with her after work more days than not.
Amy sinks in her chair a little bit, pouting lightly and playing with her hands as she meekly deciphers “You’re not going to tell us because you think we secretly know about your life, so you’re scared of vulnerability with people you’ll have to face everyday despite potential fall out?” Rosa glares at Amy with her usual unimpressed expression, and the usually professional detective nods with an awkward purse of her lips, rolling herself away from the intimidating woman.
An inquisitive hum snaps your attention back to Jake, who dramatically places a hand on his chin, caressing his own skin. “One day I’m going to follow Rosa home. I’ll stakeout outside her window until the lights go off, then, like a spy in the night, I’ll climb the pipe to her window and break in with a bobby pin. Lo and behold, there will lie Rosa Diaz, fast asleep in bed, wearing pink pyjamas, AHA!” Jake’s eyes light up at his own words, and whilst the rest of your coworkers instantly begin laughing at his theory, you instantly argue “Rosa does not wear pink pyjamas!”
With his hands now on his hips, Jake swivels to face you, eyebrows raised at you as he asks “And how would you know that, detective?” Despite how badly you wish to gulp thickly at what you feel is a miserable slip up, you scoff loudly, instantly pointing back to where Rosa stands. “Look at her.” Gina hums, crossing her arms over her chest, deciding to help you out of this self-dug grave. “Yeah, I would have to agree that Rosa probably does not wear pink pyjamas. They’re leopard print.”
This time, you join in on your coworkers’ laughs, trying to stabilise the pace your heart is beating at. Everyone returns to their desks, and you feel yourself relax as the attention turns away from you and your secret girlfriend. Jake is the last to go back to work, and when he finally does, he keeps his eyes on you. Regardless of being the most easily distracted detective on the squad, Jake is smart. That’s what has everyone so hooked on him. So of course, he had noticed the way your voice had been so familiar and certain when you countered his little fantasy. A fantasy that you would usually go along with, but this little defensive behaviour you had displayed immediately confused him.
Jake could have let that slide if you hadn’t confirmed to him that you were lying with the way your eyes had subtly widened in panic when he had turned his attention to you, questioning your knowledge. And now, the clear relief you display when everyone turns back to their work. They hadn’t really paid much attention to you anyway, but there’s only one explanation to being this nervous. So nervous that your shoulders sink as your nervous system readjusts itself.
He waits until you stand up to follow you out of the bullpen, trying to blend in with the very thin crowd until he reaches the file room. He shuts the door with a loud slam, aiming a cocked eyebrow at you as you hold a file up to your chest. “Can I help?” You sigh, trying to seem annoyed with him, but you just need to be out from under his gaze for a few minutes.
“So tell me, what pyjamas does Rosa wear?” Jake snaps his head to the side with a quiet scold to himself at the realisation that he should have used another sentence to confront your knowledge of your coworker. “Why do you want to know, Peralta?” You tease with a raised eyebrow, taking his stumble to your advantage.
The door to the file room opens once more, and both you and Jake go silent in a fear of someone strange entering the room, but Rosa makes her presence known with a frown, asking with a jerk of her head “What’s going on here?”
“Jake wants to know what kind of pyjamas you wear to bed.” It’s silent in the room for a moment as Rosa furrows her eyebrows in confusion before Jake snaps everyone out of their daze with a thorough shake of his head, hands cleansing the air around him. “Why do you know so much about Rosa? I know you’re trying to hide it, but why!?”
“Because if one person knows about me, it begins spreading to other people. No one can know that she knows about me so they don’t ask about me.” Jake turns around to look at Rosa, fully expecting you to have answered the question. He squints his eyes. Rosa is so composed, he thinks, and when he turns to look at you again, he finds you nodding your head at him wordlessly, as though you don’t want to misspeak. “We’re good enough friends for me to know that she wants privacy.” You say, and Jake slowly nods, taking slow steps past Rosa and towards the door.
“I see…” Jake mumbles, bringing a hand up to the door handle. He sharply spins towards you and Rosa again, shooting “Or is it because you’re secret lesbians with each other?” Jake points finger guns at you with a goofy smile, fully expecting scoffs and unimpressed glances shot his way, but he’s fully met with silence and a very panicked expression on your face. His face begins falling as he realises that he’s forced a confession from some of his best friends, and Rosa immediately snaps “Dammit Peralta, you couldn’t have just walked away!?”
Rosa storms towards Jake, who puts his hands up in surrendly, but all she does is reach past him to secure a nearby chair under the door handle, blocking the entrance to others. She stays close to the boy so she can threaten him more effectively. “Listen Peralta, not only are we dating but I also take her home with me everyday after work. We cook together and watch movies together, and we certainly go to bed together, where most nights, there are no pyjamas involved. If you say anything about us to anyone alive, I will skin you and wear you as a suit so nobody knows you’ve gone missing.”
Jake blinks quickly, shrugging uncomfortably at the threat, but all he manages to say is “You make a hot couple. Smash.”
Rosa’s eyes darken, and Jake cowers near the door while awaiting a blow, but it doesn’t come. Partially because you tug Rosa away from Jake, standing awkwardly with both hands by your side as you mumble “We didn’t want anyone to know until we spent six months together. To be fair, I think it feels kind of nice that you know.” Jake watches in real time as Rosa’s features soften at your words, her hands reaching up to envelop yours as she comforts you with soft words. “It almost is six months anyway, we can tell people if that’s what you want.”
You shake your head, shrugging softly. “It’s okay, Gina and Jake know, that’s not far from everyone knowing.” Rosa keeps her eyes on yours, but targets her next words to Jake. “Get out Peralta, so I can kiss my girlfriend.” You feel your face go hot at Rosa’s words, and Jake mumbles a quick retort while fighting the makeshift lock, taking longer than he should to leave the room. When the door slams shut again, Rosa is quick to take you in her arms, lips instantly pressing against yours. She tightens her hold on you when she feels you melt in her arms, muttering against your lips “I was surprised to see you slip up like that.”
Pulling away from Rosa and furrowing your eyebrows, you mutter “I didn’t realise you were watching.” Rosa grins, tapping your butt lightly and saying “I’m always watching you, you just never know it.”
“Okay but should I tell Gina she’s almost right about the leopard print pyjamas?”
